(Listening to Gravel to Tempo by Hayley Kiyoko)

Amber walked down the busy streets as she roamed her eyes around, phone closed to her ears. "I'm exactly in front of the store you said,"

"Wait me there, buddy. I'm getting out," the voice from other line replied.

"Alright," Amber hang up. She released a breath for a moment, relief as she realized finally she able to find his workplace. Not a moment after, in the end of corner, she catched a figure of Kibum, the youngest son of her father's cousin, walking directly to her.

"Yo, long time no see long time no see!" he sang happily as they exchanged fist bump and laughed seeing each other. "You're alone?" asked Kibum or Key the nickname.

Amber breathed in before she uttered, "Always I am, Key. Always,"

"Oww, that's sound weird..."

"Yeah, I know,"

The young guy pulled Amber's shoulder to him and embraced his right arm around, then he lead their walk, totally went an opposite from the spot they were standing.

"My friend, life is always about an option. You chose to be alone, isn't it? Where the lively and funny Amber that I know? Is she here with me? Or actually she's stucked in somewhere else?"

"Well, she's here. Changed but still, a friend of you," replied Amber, following his slow steps. "What about you? Last time I checked, your hair still dark, and now you're looking more like an old man with that grey colour,"

"What??? What's wrong with this hair?! Style, fashion and art. Named it. Mom and dad already gave me a long lecture about this colour, please don't add another preach, thank you," said Key, playfully clapped his hands together at Amber, copied a pose where Buddha people visit temple at the hill. The boyish only laughed at his antics.

"Hungry?"

"I'm starving, Kim Key,"

"Oh, I like the way you say my new name," he stated in shadiest way. "Good to know you're starving because this Kim Key going to take you to the heaven of food,"

"I represent to you, the place from God, truly the love from above," he bowed, spreading her left arm then and continued,

"Welcome to Myeongdong street, where the food is in your fingertip,"

"Gosh, you ruined my sight," complained Amber as she pushed Key's shoulder away. "Stop talking and bring me my food,"

The guy rolled his eyes, "Can you be more appreciative huh? Remember, I'm keeping thousands of your secrets, all concealed here, in my mouth,"

"So? What you're gonna do? Want me to punch it?"

"Aishh, you're getting mean, Amber. It was so scary you know,"

"Alright," Amber said, "I'll stop being scary if you kindly zip off your pleasure mouth," she stopped walking and stared at the boy, "Will you?"

Key made a face then.

The duo ended up spending money at few small parlors on the street before the rain poured heavily and disturbed their food tour. Key hurriedly suggested they should find some place as shelter and he chose his childhood friend's bakery-cafe, which located not far away from the bus stop. Amber, didnt say much and paced after him.

Key pulled the glass door and stepped into the space, before approaching the counter, greeted the tiny girl who smiled wide as she looked at him coming through.

"Hello, young lady. How you doing?"

"Not really good since its been months I didnt get a chance to see you around," said the girl. She glanced at Amber at Key's side for a milisecond before shifting her eyes at him again.

"Look you have new company,"

Key frowned at first until the girl signalled an eye towards his side.

"Whatever you think, stop it. This is my cousin, Amber," said Key, voice almost firm. He moved closer to whisper, "Not a guy, she's a girl,"

That lady awed in surprise.

He raised his index finger, pointing at her face, "She means no harm, I guarantee. And please, don't be shock,"

Amber, at that time, not knowing how to react as she saw Key keep talking to the cashier girl in his slower voice. Not knowing what to do as well, the skinny girl shoved both her hands deep inside her pockets, eyes wandered.

"You're funny!" the girl's laughs attracted her ears.

The voice, quite familiar.

She shifted her attention once again at the counter and watched closely on the girl's figure.

Why she does sound a bit like her?

Her face, seems... recognizable.

Amber tried hard to think why the sudden feelings she's in, evolved on that moment.

As she's too deep in her own thoughts, another girl came in.

"See who's coming here," her voice invaded the space.

Amber's heart skipped a beat when she took a glimpse on the other girl.

And their eyes met at each other.

Minah...

***

"Look, I didnt plan this okay? I dont even know about them, as siblings," said Key, tailing his cousin around. "Come on, Ber. Hyuna just Hyuna, and Minah just Minah, they're totally different,"

The tomboy stopped her walks for a second and glanced at him,

"No need explanation, Key. I know that and I dont mind,"

"So, what's the sudden change of plan??? You said, you'll sleepover until tomorrow,"

"I lost interest," Amber said. "This reunion, I'm not ready at all,"

Key tried to coax, "What's that ready for??? Past is past. Now you're living a new chapter of life, Liu. Move on!"

That's made she breathed in weakly.

"I'm sorry, Key. I can't stay.," she began to step again. The boy followed her close, face disatisfied in total.

"You're like a kid," he commented.

"No, I'm not a kid, I'm big enough to decide,"

"But you act like one!"

That moment, everything stopped as they looked at each other seriously.

"There's so many things you didnt know, Key. What happened between us, I'm the only who know how hurt it was!" her voice cracked as she stared at him. "I'm nothing to her! I didnt deserve her! That's what she said if you wanna know!"

"But I say, you deserve someone better than her, Amber," replied Key. "You were both young back then, pal. I'm sure she had regretted what she said to you. Now can you just put away that grudge? She might be different,"

"Ain't that easy," said Amber. "She pushed me away and left me with nothing but only deep cuts. She said she loved me, but then she said she hated me. She said what we did were sins and the karma would hit us someday. Now you tell me, Key, what would I have to face her again when I know exactly she didnt like me in person anymore???" her eyes build up with tears.

"Ber..."

"No, Key. I'm going back to my dorm,"

"COULD YOU PLEASE LISTEN FOR A WHILE???" his voice raised and attracted some of the strangers who passing by them.

"Yes, she hurts you, I know that. She dumped you, I know about that too. But you can't bluntly make her as your reason to avoid others and think of it seriously,"

"Ber, you'll hurt more if you decide to ignore,"

Key gripped Amber's right shoulder, tone changed soft as he continued, "Look, I really didnt know Minah is Hyuna's little sister. Can you see how innocent I am?"

The tomboy didnt mutter a thing and let the time passed by. When the city bus approached, not far away from their spot, she shifted her face at him.

"Let's see again later, Key. I'm sorry but I really need to go,"

Without giving the boy another chance to speak, she walked away.

"Oh God, love makes you stubborn as hell too," Key sighed deeply then.

***

Krystal shifted her slim body from left to right continuously.

Is she possesed by something?

Or she just too tired from the classes?

But no, today is Sunday. There's no on going lecture though...

Sicked of the running thoughts, she rose from the bed and paced lazily to her vanity table. Reaching for the comb, and saw the reflection of her own image, the frown on her forehead was clearly obvious. Krystal felt creepy upon herself.

Until, her door has been knocked twice.

"Unnie, would you like to have dinner with us?" the cutie Yebin appeared with her smile. She signalled to the living room where Kyulkyung and Dahyun were busy preparing the table with lots of food. "First homemade try, I hope it works,"

Krystal didnt reply instantly, but her eyes directed towards the other door.

Or more in exact, Amber's room.

"Is she... joining in?"

Yebin's eyebrows furrowed. "She? Who?"

Krystal pointed her index finger at the front room.

"O-oh, Amber-unnie is not well. She said she's in heavy migraine, so we let her sleep," Yebin told calmly. "Come on, Krystal unnie. We thought it will be merrier with you..."

She was glued at the spot, exchanging glances with her housemates and at the end, she able to walk out from her big room and marched towards the girls' space.

The eldest looked upon the full table, wondering why there are so many food. She took a glimpse on each of them, thinking they are all skinny and beautiful but the weird thing was, the amount of dishes were too much though.

"So, who's the cook?" Krystal asked, trying hard not to be awkward as she grabbed the chopsticks and had a taste of the kimchi.

Kyulkyung excitedly raised her hand then, "It is me the main chef here,"

Dahyun mocked, "No you're not. Just because Amber unnie is sick, you can be all that proud. If she's awake, her food will taste better than this,"

The Chinese girl's face scrunched.

"Okay, if my food taste that bad, why you put all of them into your plate, huh? You already finished half of them,"

Krystal can't contain her smile as she's witnessing the bickering friends.

Yebin, who've been quiet from the start suddenly spoke, "Amber-unnie is right about you. You're very pretty when you smile,"

"H-what?" Krystal said, mouth-fulled. She swallowed and said, "Since when she has interest on me? From what I know, we're not in good terms,"

"Well, that part is right," said Yebin. "I'm not trying to defend anybody here, but Amber-unnie is really nice, unnie. Maybe because you two barely know each other, and that made you feel not adequate to have her around,"

She added again, "Incase you're wondering why she treats you quite different, perhaps, you're unique and that part already catch her attention,"

The last phase echoed in her ears.

Krystal stopped munching and looked at the girl. "You said that just to enlighten me, right? No need for that, girl. I can handle tough things, I'm not a soft lady,"

"Yeah, to enlighten you yes and to be offensive, no. I am not," replied Yebin.

"Either she delightful to see me or not, I dont f***ing care," she slipped the word accidentally, making all the eyes looked in awed at her.

It is because she sweared in Korean, and sound more awful.

Yebin grinned while Kyulkyung and Dahyun can't contain their laughs at her.

"Is that funny?"

"No, unnie. We're cool about that but if Amber-unnie is here, you might be want to hear some preach about cursing is a part of insulting," said Yebin, laughing. "She's so strict about swearing and stuff,"

Krystal rolled her eyes, annoyed.

"Mmh, like she's the daughter of angel or something,"

But then, the room near the living room squeaked and Amber walked out with her messy hair. The girls' eyes centered at the tomboy except Dahyun who still busy swallowing the glass noodle into .

"Unnie!" Yebin shouted happily. "How's your head???"

Smiling faintly, she just raised her thumb, signalling that she feels better.

Later, Amber paced into washroom, leaving the girls with the food.

"Is she... okay?" Krystal tried to ask, looking straight at Yebin.

"Hmmh... I dont know... she came home and went to bed immediately. Dahyun said, if she looks terrible, that's mean she's in major migraine,"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I think so,"

***

After short revision on her study table, Krystal thought it would be nice to reward herself with a cup of tea with honey. Walking straight towards the kitchen, she found a taller figure, who is sitting at the island counter, eating ramen all by herself.

She hesitated at first to encounter but since so many things wondering inside her head, the pretty girl decided to act normally. Reaching for tea bag inside the upper locker, Krystal used the water heater and awkwardly took a glance at the other girl.

"So many leftover food, but you're here eating instant noodles,"

Amber slurped before she rose her head to see the latter's face.

"Hmmh??"

Staring at those expression, Krystal smiled as response. She pulled the chair beside Amber and placed herself there. "There, you're having a non-healthy food instead of those delicious and nutritious meals prepared on the dining table. Yebin saved some for you, you know. Didn't she tell you that?"

"Yes I know," Amber replied short, eyes shifted away from the housemate. "I'm not in good mood to eat them. When I'm upset I will have ramen, and get used to it,"

"Why... you're upset?" Krystal tried to ask.

"Because I'm not in a good mood,"

"And why you're not in a good mood?"

Amber looked at her then.

"Is that matter to you?"

The long-hair girl's intention was first to tease but as she saw Amber's gloomy face, she changed her mind.

"Well,nothing," she said. "I thought something possesed you because you look so damn horrible with that face, which quite different from the regular days you had. I asked because I was curious,"

"Curious or just trying to annoy me some more?"

"Yes, that can be apply as well, darling," Krystal casually addressed as she rose up from her sitting position and reached for the heater. Turned it off, she poured the hot water into her favorite Minnie Mouse mug.

"Its nothing..." Amber's voice became slow, hinted her deep sorrow as the way it was. "It just a one bad day, Krys,"

Upon hearing her short name, Krystal felt something strange lingers inside.

She turned around, frowning. Before she mutters, the tomboy furthered more.

"You know, the hardest thing to deal with is ourselves. We thought we know well our feelings but eventually we can't figure out on how to handle them," Amber said, in her gentle voice. She put a small smile on her face then shifted her attention toward the other girl. "So today, I'm having a hard time to handle my feelings. And by eating ramen, I hope it will enlighten me, as usual I does when I'm down,"

"But its not working," Krystal snorted bluntly.

A little bit surprised, Amber didn't expect that to be heard of. "For me, probably yes,"

"No, Ms. Liu. If its really ease you, you would not end up here, sitting all alone. You should be joining the girls and celebrating the day,"

That moment, Amber's brain began to think.

"To be honest, the best way to deal with those feelings is to face them, not running away. Keeping it all by yourself, is sort of burden," told Krystal, as the same time she remembered of things which were also hard for her to get through. She considered what she had just said if for herself too.

"You can't just say its okay, time will heal, time will be passed and everything's gonna be alright. I don't believe on that pathologically. Life's if we take it as granted,"

"Like you, who assumes everything I said is important and everything I did is not fine?" Amber intruded.

"WHAT?"

Chuckling, the boyish finished the soup and throw the cup straight into the garbage can. "This is the most comfortable conversation I'd ever had with you. And, not trying to be sarcastic here, but actually talking to you does enlighten me a bit. Which is better than a cup of ramen I had," curving a sincere smile, Amber stared at Krystal. "Should I say, thank you?"

Acting cool, Krystal furrowed her eyebrows and crossed her arms together. "Is that necessary? If yes, you better be,"

Still with the smile plestered on her lips, Amber continued,

"So then, Ms. Krystal. Thank you for enlightened me and I really appreciate your precious words,"

Before she left, she said, "Your tea bag, Krys. It should be into the cup, not into the jug,"

And finally Krystal realized, the hot water inside the heater has been 'contaminated' by the colour of her expensive tea brand.

She cursed spontaneously and looked back at Amber.

"Oh you're so welcome, Amber Liu," Krystal replied back sarcastically.

_______________

You were right, Amber. Sometimes, we find it hard to deal with our feelings although we claim we know what we want and what we need.

p/s: currently watching The L Word for some ideas. *too many things to be censored though*

Love Love,

RYAI.