Amber's POV

An average-height girl, named Wendy Shon, the person in charge for my first expedition in Korea approached me after she noticed my presence in the library with Yebin. She followed us close before reaching me out and said she has something important to ask.

"I would like to know if you're able to come and sit with us for a brief interview tonight? My friends and I actually are researching about this topic related to our courses, Psychology. Do you have time for it?" Wendy asked, hugging the bundle of white papers closed to her chest.

I studied her face for a moment.

"I'm sorry it is all of sudden," she nervously laughed then furthered, "You know, we're in conflic since the due for the task is actually this Friday. We can't find any suitable candidate so far and my team-mate, Seulgi has been wandering around the campus, like two days ago and at the end she only sighed in frustration,"

Puckering my lips, I asked back, "May I know what the topic you're talking about?"

"Gender manipulation and ualities," she answered straight which made my expression changed.

Slowly the idea came into my mind.

I knew what she meant.

Glancing at Yebin who react like nothing big is happening, I just nodded.

"Probably I'm going to save some time for your thesis, Ms. Wendy," I said.

Her face brightened and before I could ever say anything more, she pulled me for a tight hug.

So, that night I rushed to shower before 6.30pm, dressed in half-denim with my favourite Linkin Park t-shirt and also skipped dinner. I was late for the brief interview on 7.30pm and with the time left, I walked out from dormitory at 7.00pm.

I hope Wendy and her friends don't mind about me being late since I'd go there by bus. The cafe she described is actually quite far from campus and I could spend more time on searching the place afterward.

I arrived on my destination 35 minutes later and I checked my watch. I just late for 5 minutes and I don't think I will get any scold because of that.

Wendy and her friends already sitting beautifully, perhaps waiting for me to greet them while I'm walking half of my way.

"Hi Amber," Wendy rose from the chair and greeted me first. The other girl, with a cute eye-smile repeated after her, sticking out her hands for me to take.

"I'm Seulgi," we had a light handshake then the another girl, the shortest among them all, stood and also introduced herself to me as well.

"I'm Irene,"

"Oh... so glad to meet all of you in this lovely place," I replied with a smile before placing myself on the reserved chair.

"Firstly, let me get you something to eat because I'm hundred percent sure, you didnt have dinner, right?" Wendy guessed which caught me off on guard. How did she know???

Seulgi interrupted with her Korean, "Yes, please don't insist. On me tonight, Amber-nim,"

"Wah, you guys look very determined about you candidate huh? I asked and they laughed.

"Well, I'm happy knowing you're agreed to come. The task is such a pain and we need to settle it down as soon as possible. Thanks to your housemate, Krystal. She told us about you a lot," Irene, the girl with serious face said, half-smiling.

Upon hearing the name, I furrowed my eyebrows. "Wait, you know Krystal? Krystal Jung, the MA student?"

"Yes, of course. Her big sister is my old friend. We always hang out together but when that Krystal girl moved in, Jessica seems to concentrate on her more. Despite of being busy with her carrier as designer, she manage to cope with us although not all the times," Irene added.

"Usually, Krystal didnt talk much or brag out about others but I'm surprised when she mentioned your name everytime we had lunch together. I concluded, she found you different from the other people she'd ever met in her life,"

I was stunned by those explanation.

Never expect Krystal is actually has... well, been thinking of me?

Whatever she is, that's new.

"I'm going to show her my gratitude for using my name in every lunch and also for being the reason I'm here, meeting all of you, beautiful girls," I said with fake-elegant act.

These three giggled and its very-very cute.

"So... set of fish and chips, what do you think? Its the famous menu here," Wendy asked, back to the topic again.

"Oh, it is perfect. I dont mind, I eat anything minus wood and stone," I replied playfully, "And also I don't eat human,"

Wendy grinned before she raised her hand, calling out for the waitress.

"Before we proceed to the main purpose, I would like to give a short notice," Irene stated, "This interview is private and confidential. We mean no harm, and exactly no meaning of insults to you. We just thought you're the best for us,"

"Okay, I got it," I snorted.

Wendy took out an A2 size of note-book and clicked the ball pen, probably showing me the sign that the interview was just to begin. I waited for their questions very patiently.

The Irene girl's sharp eyes stared right into my eyes as she began, "What do you think of yourself? I mean, it is obvious your style and your appearance is totally different from normal girl. Would you please describe your tomboy look and the way you deal with it,"

I didn't expect at first that kind of question will be delivered. However, I'm determined to be professional though. I restrain myself for a while.

"Oh... about that," I scratched the upper spot of my eyebrows, "I feel great. Not even a single thing distract me from being my real own-self. Since I can't even remember, I used to prefer boy clothes and ran away when my mom urged me to put on skirts, ribbons and flowery blouse," Seulgi and Wendy giggled, while I just shrugged my shoulder.

That's the truth, I can't deny.

"Can't help on that because I'm comfortable wearing oversized shirts or outfits. I joined taekwando and women basketball, so what they expect? To wear all classy and girlish clothes while the school is depending on you to do the best? No sorry, I'd rather die than surrender before I fight. Girl's stuff always cute and well.... look appealing but I think I'd just not suitable to use them,"

Then Wendy interrupted, "How does the people around you react to that? Did they... support or.. say mean things?"

"To be honest, not all of them accept me the way I am and also not all of them become mean because of disliking me for being tomboy. Although outside I'm all tough with masculinity, I'm happy to claim that I love being a girl. A part of me still appreciating I was born as girl and the other part also accepting the fact that I'm different from other normal girls. I'm enjoying myself as tomboy, the way to sum all of these," I explained, and thanked the waitress who came with a tray of food as she served it on the table. I reached for the fries and dipped it into the sour cream sauces, put it into my mouth then munched in manner. 

"What made you think you're very different? It is because of the way you behave, the outfits you wear, your short haircut or some other things?" Irene asked, fixing the glasses with her index finger.

I hummed momentarily, mouth busy munching the food. I looked over these three, wandering how will they response if I make a real confession.

Key's advices echoed inside my head,

"They will never understand about us, about our struggles in this world, Ber. No matter how many times or how hard you try to explain, they are still in those ancient mindset, they're narrow minded on gays, especially us. Don't be so straightforwad when you're talking about yourself and don't even let it cross in your mind that that bunch of straight people could help us in handling feelings and our overturn hormones. They're not in our shoes and until the world end, there will be a war between homo and hetero. Please remember that,"

"Uhm... I'm still figuring out things about myself. You can put there, I'm still not sure on the reason of me being different. I'd just don't have an explanation about that,"I tried to play safe but Wendy's stare gave me some other meaning, like she was waiting for me to utter the exact phrase.

She closed her notebook and put down the pen.

"Amber, don't take this personally. We're okay, with everything you're going to say. Your identity will be anonymus and every confession you make, it will be forever secret between us. I'll swear this research will help a lot of people out there. A different and unique people like you,"

I didn't say anything in instant, only the plate with fish and chips caught my eyes. Later, Seulgi who've been so quiet from the start spoke which got my attention,

"I've known someone as special as you. She's my old best friend, the name is Moonbyul. My senior actually back then in degree. We used to be real close, she shared everything in her mind with me and I did the same. Until one day, she confessed that she's confused about her feelings toward this other senior, older than her for a year. At first, I didnt take it much granted because I think it is normal to adore girl with charming persona, isn't it? So I said to her, it is okay to feel that," her tone slowed down and became soft afterward,

"And I feel very upset over what I'm saying. I'm so stupid for not listening to her as whole. Moonbyul is the best person ever, she's caring and very kind to people around her, especially me, but all I did isn't what friend suppose to do,"

"It was three months before semester came to end, we were all busy with submission and assignments. I was so ignorant and acted like I'm a good friend already. I spent much time on work, and avoided her when she tried to share what she felt. For me, on that time, she was the biggest distraction so the best decision is to ignore sentimental girl like Moonbyul,"

Seulgi's voice cracked as she continued, "The last time I saw her was here, we had a very quick conversation because I was rushing to group discussion.This cafe is her favourite place,"

"What... happened to her? She moved to somewhere else?" I asked, a bit curious about the story.

Her tears ran down like the gentle flow of river, while the small eyes of hers looked deep on mine.

"Moonbyul passed away that night, she commited suicide, Amber-nim,"

My mouth shut tight, I'm speechless and not knowing what to say next. I didnt able to mutter any single word, all I felt was shocked and surprised after hearing Seulgi's story about her late friend, Moonbyul.

I saw both Irene and Wendy caressed Seulgi's back, one them cooled her down by saying its okay and the other just hugged her side.

"I...I'm... sorry, Seulgi-sshi. I really am," I apologized, still not believing about what I'd just knew.

"It's okay," she replied, putting an eye smile, which looking very sincere because it shines. "I've told you because I want you to know keeping everything by youself will slowly crush you down, Amber-nim. If you're willing to help us, we might be able to change our community's perception towards different people like you, like my late friend, Moonbyul,"

"Yeah, she's right. We are educated people so we need to educate our society as well. I'm so agree with some opinion saying, the only difference between human is their shape but the remain similar thing which everyone has is- feelings. I'm strongly against all those jerks who claim they want to make this world a better place but at the end they treat unique people like a trash. Shame on them," added Wendy.

I immersed in a very deep thoughts. My head functioned to brain all the sayings and mostly I agreed. But at bottom of my heart, the insecurity still involve. I didn't find it necessary to say either I'm okay or not at that moment.

Does Wendy, Irene or Seulgi will be able to understand all of the things in my life?

***

(Listening to Enchanted by Taylor Swift)

Amber walked into the living room after she placed neatly the black sneakers on the reserved rack. Upon seeing Dahyun, Kyulkyung, Yebin and Krystal are in one place-eating, she just greeted them weakly then went straight away into her room.

"Why Amber-unnie looked so restless???" Yebin asked Dahyun which earned her only a small shrug afterward.

Krystal butted in,

"Probably the schedule," she casually said, swallowing the hot ramen.

"That's impossible. Nothing can make her tired, unnie. I bet she might be having some difficulties," Dahyun replied. "Lately she kept zoning out, became very quiet and I felt so awkard inside of our room. I'm afraid I did wrong and hurt her feelings but when I asked she just laughed and said everything's okay,"

"She's on her period maybe," again Krystal gave her random idea. Dahyun didn't feel it is convincing so she muttered, "No... Unnie had her period last week already,"

"Yeah, I can see Amber-unnie seems trying to avoid me too. Usually after class, we'll have lunch together but now, right when the lecture ends, she went away, superfast like a lightning. I did think like you too Dahyunnie, but its impossible. Just too impossible if she suddenly dislikes me without reason," Yebin added, looking straight at the fair-skin girl.

"Maybe..." Kyulkyung joined the conversation, "She... is in love with someone???"

Krystal choked the soup automatically. The trio stared at the oldest girl strangly at first but the caring Kyulkyung kind enough to help her at the moment. She gently caressed the older's back and passed a glass of cold water.

"Thank you," said Krystal after the drank and a little bit of cough. Her pain subsided and the others continued their eatings again.

"Unnie, can you ask her what happened? I'm worried," Yebin glanced at Krystal's pretty face, putting a desperate expression.

"No, I can't ask that kind of thing to your Amber-unnie. She's older than me, she should be expert in manipulating feelings and emotions. You guys are being so outrageous," Krystal firmly said.

"No, unnie... You don't understand," the small bean insisted, "She became so quiet after she agreed for this super secret interview with senior Wendy Schon, our climber leader, that Canadian girl... Do you remember???"

"Oh... Wendy, of course. She's my sister's bestie," although she expressed her casual tone, tiny bit of herself also worried upon hearing Yebin mentioned that name.

"So... they really interview her???" Krystal asked Yebin.

The latter shake her head off vigorously. A clear sign she don't know about the case.

Only a small sigh engaged.

Krystal wasn't aware that she had space out until she felt someone touched her hand. The Chinese girl voiced out in her confuse look,

"What's wrong? Is it taste that bad? Too oily and spicy for you???"

The angelic figure asked back, "You mean, this ramen I'm eating?"

Kyulkyung just nodded.

She directly stated then,

"Yeah,"

"Hssshhh, I was right! I shouldn't pour that sesame oil like Amber-unnie said!" Kyulkyung complained, frustrated.

"Amber said that... to you??? Krystal gave her curious expression.

"Because she had once told me you threw away the sauce everytime you had ramen. Why disliking sesame oil? You know, unnie, ramen is better with that but maybe you have western taste bud so you can't get it,"

Krystal was taken aback by the statement. She secretly think, why the tomboy knows almost everything about her.

Before the other question lingers in her mind, she speaks out to her housemates,

"Alright, I'm agreed. I'll talk to Amber later on,"