(Listening to Way Back Home by Shaun)

"This is a perfect moment for our club," muttered Yebin, keeping her marshmallow closed to the bonfire and shifted her face to Amber. "Unnie, let's create something special now,"

The boyish had her right eyebrow lifted at first, clueless of the younger girl's idea.

Same as Yebin and other girls in the circle, she's too focused at their s'more session as she glanced at Yebin, "What do you mean?"

Yebin exchanged meaningful look with Krystal before she curved an evil smile.

"What about a few rounds of the 'Truth and Dare' game? I heard a lot about it but never get a chance to play," she suggested and earned the rest of the group's attention.

"Good one! I was thinking about that too before!" Wendy pointed out as she asked for a high five from Yebin. Their palms clamped as they excitedly smiled at each other.

Minkyung interrupted before taking a bite of her half-burnt s'mores, "I think someone going to reveal herself tonight,"

"And I hope it is you," she muttered and looked at Yebin.

"Haishhh, what else I have to reveal, unnie? I think I showed everything enough for you? Remember we went to shower together back in high school because we're running late for netball practice?" replied Yebin with her innocent face.

Shocked, Minkyung glared at the younger, "Yah what are you saying??? I mean by revealing is about secrets you have! Not about your body parts!"

They all laughed at Yebin and Minkyung's bickering scene until Krystal was the first to stop laughing and said, "Alright, let's play. Can't wait to know your secrets,"

Her words caught Amber's attention and made the boyish chuckled.

"Krys, it will be not just about revealing secrets but can be about daring to do weird stuffs too," she told briefly.

"Such as?" Krystal asked.

"I don't know, maybe someone going to ask you to do something that you never did in your life," Amber added calmly as she tasted her own s'mores.

Irene and Wendy exchanged a meaningful smile while Yebin was trying hard to put a straight face as she caught in stare with Krystal.

"Ah I know!" suddenly Seulgi raised her hand and muttered, "What if someone get to do 'Dare', she must kiss someone she likes here???"

The idea made the others' expression dropped down drastically.

Meanhile for Dahyun, she just whistled,

"That's tough but quite interesting,"

Irene studied Seulgi's face as she questioned, half-laughing, "Yah, is there really someone you want to kiss here, Kang Seulgi?"

The latter nodded without a doubt and made Irene's eyes went big.

"Who?" she asked more.

Smiling playfully, Seulgi pointed her index finger directly at Irene's face, "You,"

A bit flattered by Seulgi's sudden act, Irene pretended to be surprised as she clenched her heart and made everyone laugh in sync. 

Not to waste time no more, eventually Yebin put down her wooden stick and clapped twice as she got all eyes on her,

"Alright-alright! Let's get started!"

"Since Amber unnie is our president, I suggest she should go first," Yebin said, pointing at the boyish politely.

The group clapped excitedly while Amber was startled since she didn't expect to be the first candidate for the game.

"Wait a moment, it's not fair!" Amber refused, "Being a president doesn't mean I have to be first in anything!"

"Oh yes you are, Ms. Amberrrr," Krystal insisted,

"Do you know that being a leader, you have to sacrifice for others' sake? Good leadership is when you are always the first person to commit something serious,"

"Right, unnie?" she added and winked at Irene.

The oldest woman calmly nodded as she curved a little smile.

"Oh she's very true, Amber-nim. I'm sorry can't help you about this,"

Amber released a sigh, totally frustrated to see Yebin's playful grin from her face. She knew enough that the girls are trying to pull her leg because she always been soft to them. Finishing the last piece of her burnt marshmallow, the boyish wiped both her hands and muttered,

"Alright then, I'm doing it,"

Yebin's grin turned wider as she clapped like a diva.

"Who wants Amber unnie to do 'Truth' raise your thumbs up and if you want her to 'Dare', thumbs down," she clarified and the others nodded in agreement.

"Ready.... one, two, three," she counted and purposely thumbs up before checking everyone's else answers one by one.

Dahyun was the only member with her thumb down while the rest had their thumbs up, making Amber released another sigh of frustration.

"So... you gotta tell us the 'Truth'," Yebin grinned again.

She facepalmed herself first and said, "Okay now you can ask me anything you want and I will tell the truth,"

"Let me ask her first," Irene volunteered while having her right hand up in the air.

Yebin only nodded as response.

"Amber, call me unnie first," Irene teased with a smirk on her face.

Krystal chinned up and stared at Amber's expression, betting if the tomboy would really answer all the questions straighforwardly.

She smiled when she noticed a tiny bit of sour from the handsome girl's face.

"Haish," she heard Amber groaned in annoyance.

"Yeah-yeah, what is it Irene unnie?" the group roared then while Amber had her lips clamped together, totally embarassed for what she just did.

"Omoo, you're adorable!" Irene teased again, laughing as she playfully caressed Amber's head.

"Okay, tell us honestly, what do you think of Krystal when you first met her???" the eldest asked, staring at the boyish without any blink.

Flabbergasted, Krystal voiced out abruptly, "O-oh? Why you dragged my name, unnie??? It should be about her, not me!"

"Aigoo..." Seulgi, who's been sitting by Krystal's side cooed casually and interrupted,
"Don't be so panic, Soo Jung-ah! This is just for fun!"

Krystal murmured, "Haizz... you guys... really..." and sighed. "Okay, carry on,"

Still putting a smirk, Irene repeated her question again,

"Come on, tell us what do you think of Krystal during your first meeting, Yiyun-ah!"

Although she's curious on how Irene knows about her Chinese name, Amber proceeded with her blunt answer,

"I thought I saw a goddess,"

The group cooed together while Krystal lowered her face, quite ashamed to hear that from her lover.

"That's it?" Irene asked and Amber signalled with a quick nod.

"You're so boring..." she mumbled and tapped Wendy's shoulder. "Now it's your turn, Seung Wan,"

Wendy expressed a 'tee-hee' and a silly laugh as she looked at Amber,

"Tell me about your first kiss,"

Dahyun and Kyulkyung clapped excitedly while Amber felt she wanted to run away as soon as possible.

"Aish Wendy-sshi.. you too???" Amber complained and made Wendy let out a scornful laugh. "Just tell us, Amber-nim!"

Half-hearted, Amber stated, "It was an accident,"

"Okay next person please," she expressed and scratched her eyebrow awkwardly.

Laughing,  Wendy nodded and tapped Krystal's arm. "Yah, now you ask her,"

"Hurm..." the Krystal girl immersed into thoughts as she gazed at Amber for a moment. "What should I ask you? I have a lot of questions actually and I'm curious too,"

Gazing back at the pretty face, Amber tilted up her face a bit and cleared ,

"If you are curious, you should really ask, Krystal-sshi,"

Wendy's pupils shook to both Amber and Krystal, restrained herself from squealing loud like a hardcore shipper of Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber when they know the famous couple were back together.

"Alright, then, I want to know who do you see, is the prettiest girl here," Krystal delivered her question elegantly then raised an eyebrow at the boyish.

Snickered, Amber stared at Krystal back,

"You want me to be honest, right?"

Krystal hummed.

"I'm sorry but... I will say, it's Irene unnie," the answer made the eldest girl gasped and frowned in confusion. She shifted her head and met Amber's eyes.

"Are you crazy???" Irene mouthed to the boyish and glared.

Amber laughed and bowed in proper manner, "I apologize but that's the truth, you are the most beautiful girl here but.... Krystal is the most beautiful girl ever in this world,"

Again, the group chorused together in awe.

"Aishh.. you tricky punk..." Irene nagged and shot Amber her annoying look. 

The lovers exchanged a secret glance and smile while the others were buzzing and bragging about having goosebumps when they heard Amber's greasy answer.

"Okay now it's my turn!" the excited Yebin finally back. She smiled in an irritatingly smug way before letting out her frank question,

"Unnie.... you are into girls, right?"

And there is it.

The boyish's calmness started shaky. She eyed Krystal for a moment as her heart began to pound fast.

(Listening to Memories of the Wind by Anri Kumaki)

Flashback

The young Amber sadly glanced at the group of girl that she used to be with. They were laughing and having fun together while she's sitting alone in the corner, watching them playing around the school field.

She tried to focus back to the pages of comic she's been reading but the flashback from yesterday's memory kept appearing.

Amber forced herself to close her eyes then.

She remembered everything clearly. The scene where she went to bathroom and some of her dormmates gave a weird look and kept their distance, Amber felt they were digusted to have her around since the rumors about Minah and her still circulating in fast rate.

"You should not reveal who you really are, Liu," her classmate, Hani said when they were in fitting room after their Physical Education class. "Your honesty or braveness, they don't need it here,"

Amber was taken aback to hear that. Slowly closed her own locker, she glanced at Hani's side. "What do you mean?"

Hani closed her locker too and looked at Amber's direction.

"Our friends are gossiping and messing around using your name, Amber. I'm tired of that, really,"

"They are talking about me, Hani, not you. There's nothing you have to worry of, I will get used to it,"

"So you won't ever take back your statement then?"

"About what...?"

The long haired girl stared straight at Amber's sweaty face, "That you like girls?"

"Hani, I can't lie for the rest of life, isn't it?If you still feel bother by this, I respect and appreciate you if you think we should be apart. If they hate you for being my only friend, then you can leave me,"

"We are friends as long as you can be realistic, Amber. You had crossed the line, you know? You've been misguided by your wrong instinct and see now what had happened. Nobody can't accept this fact about you so you have to stop acting that way,"

As she heard that, Amber released a resentful groan and harshly tapped the steel locker.

"You can live the way you want so why can't I?!"

Hani sighed, "Let me remind you incase you forget this,"

"But at the beginning of creation God made them male and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother to be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh---" before Hani can finished the verse from Bible that she quoted, Amber raised her voice, ensured that she stared right at Hani's face,

"I don't mind to rot in Hell, rather than to live in despair because God always been unfair to me since birth!"

At the end, she immediately stepped away from the locker, leaving Hani stunned at her standing spot and ran out from the fitting room.

She fasten her pace as quick as she can, while avoiding all the eyes at the hallway as she directed herself to the chapel.

The young Amber didn't blink her eyes when she stared at the statue of Jesus Christ, letting the tears streaming down heavily as she had her fist clenched tight.

"If you created me only to commit a sin, you should just take it back!" she shouted as her voice echoed through the spacious space, still eyes-glaring precisely at the stone crucified body.

"If I'm badly wrong for trying to be myself and if the Hell is the right place, then cut my life ahead!" she screamed on top of her lungs, fighting over her grudge and regret to live the way she has been forced to.

"I SAID JUST TAKE MY LIFE BACK!!!" Amber cried out, before her knees weaken and made her effortlessly collapsed on the chapel's clean floor.

The gentle blow from the soft wind has brought her back to the real world. Amber and her innocent eyes witnessed how happy her friends were and at that moment she remarked to herself in future,

"Maybe they are not the right people to accept me as who I am. Maybe I'm going to meet a better group of friends and one day, there must be someone that will be able to understand what kind of person I am, in future, where I'm ready enough to reveal myself..."

End of flashback

"We should stop here," Irene quickly snapped off when she noticed Amber's discomfort look but the boyish reached for her tiny shoulder and muttered,

"It's okay. I'm going to tell everyone the truth,"

Irene turned her face upright to meet Krystal's eyes, signalling her to do something but the young woman responded with a slight nod- a sign for her that everything's going to be alright.

"I know that you are the most curious one among us all, Yebin-ah," Amber started, giving Yebin her famous soothing smile.

"My true answer to your question is yes," she stated calmly.

"Yes that I'm into girls and I've been living with this instinct for years and I have never feel any regret to be myself even, when the world is against me,"

"I did know too that one day, I'm going to have this kind of moment and I can tell you that I am all ready," she explained, making eye contact with the small Yebin.

A sudden guilt slowly arise when Yebin caught Amber's sad eyes. She directly apologized, "Unnie, I'm really sorry, I should not ask you that!" and made a full bow of respect to the boyish repeatedly. "Please just forget my stupid question and I swear from now on, I will never bring this up again!"

However, Amber still had her calm smile even though Yebin has expressed her continual sorry without a pause. She stopped the younger girl with another statement, "I must say thank you to you for being brave to ask me that question Yebinnie,"

"Arghh... I'm such an idiot... Just please forgive me..." Yebin begged and bowed down her head, trying to hide her guilty look.

Minkyung sighed, "You can't pull back your words, small bean. Now you have started it and you are the one who need to end it,"

"It's okay, Minky," Amber replied to the tallest figure and continued, "I think this is the perfect time for all of you to know who I really am..."

Krystal who's been sanked into silence for a while began to feel nervous as she eyed Amber straight, secretly hoping that her decision to expose herself is accurate at that moment.

She knew all about Amber's past and how difficult it was for her. 

She also assured with her lover's readiness but she had no idea why she's still worried about how the girls would react afterwards.

So Krystal secretly made a wish inside her mind.

She wished, even if the girls will turn pungent, no matter what, she wished that Amber will still believe her.

"I was born into a very conservative family. I have a father who is very strict about rules and also a loyal follower of Christianity," the boyish began with her casual tone. "He trained me and my sister to be a great believer of God and in almost everything, in our daily lives is based from our beliefs,"

"I grew up while asking myself why I must wear skirts, have long hair and act like an ordinary girl when actually I really hate doing that stuffs. I was despressed when my mom scolded me for behaving like a boy and she kept forcing me to be a real girl. To be honest, back then when I'm a kid, my dream was to be a boy," Amber paused and chuckled smoothly. Then she continued,

"I couldn't see any connection between the beliefs that I've been practicing with the feels and emotions I have. Because, everything I feel is wrong,"

Yebin, Minkyung, Dahyun and Kyulkyung had their eyes down to the ground as they listened to Amber's confession. Their thoughts were mixed while they were trying to understand the latter's words.

Meanwhile in the opposite side, Irene, Wendy, Krystal and Seulgi had their eyes fixed on Amber's face, already understand all the things she said clearly.

"My first love was... a girl," Amber revealed.

"An innocent and nice girl whom I can say the reason which I wanted to search the meaning of life. Loving her was one of the best thing ever happen to me,"

When Krystal heard of that, she felt a sting striking her heart.

To avoid Amber's gaze, she decided to keep her eyes below off the ground, right when all her housemates already had their heads up to see Amber.

"So... she's actually... the person.. who left you... heartbroken as you told us before...?" Yebin carefully arranged her sentence to ask.

Amber nodded with her eyes-closed then,

"Yeah, she's the person,"

"But I didn't blame her for anything that happened, Yebinnie,"

"Once everyone knew that I am.. a lesbian, and I...am romantically attracted to her, nobody stands by my side,"

Krystal still had her eyes down as Amber carried on, "That was the moment I thought, I didn't deserve to be with anyone. My mother knew about me, but she kept it as a secret from my father because... she's afraid he will go mad..."

"I was trying to ask for help... but I didn't dare to do so," Amber swallowed the lump inside as she felt bitterness was building up.

"I.... was too afraid to live, realizing all my feelings are totally odd from normal girl. Even to take a breath was hard because I felt very different from others..."

Recalling back on how she went through the hardships, Amber came to think of one important figure that has been the sort of her happiness during the rough time.

She remembered that she had Key as her loyal listener and picturing the cousin brother's bright image, Amber flashed a wide smile,

"But after experiencing so many hurtful things, finally I understand that my feelings and emotions are actually the source of strength that I naturally have, that make me see this world differently. I survived although so many things happened to me when I keep saying to myself, 'It's okay to be different because happiness also comes in various ways," she concluded her long explanation and make sure to end it with eyes-gliterring.

But her smile slowly faded as she took a glimpse on Seulgi's red face,

"Amber-sshi..." Seulgi mumbled sadly as the tears of sympathy flowing down through her cheeks.

That made Wendy shifted to her and studied Seulgi's face, whining,
"Seulgi...don't cry..." she comforted Seulgi although she's been trying hard to hold herself from crying too.

"Amber-sshi... I'm sorry...." finally Seulgi bursted out her cries. "I'm so- so sorry...on behalf of those people... who hurted you..."

"I wish I was there to hug you... or hold you... when you're sad..." she ended sobbing hard then, even though Wendy and Irene were caressing her back continually.

The boyish held back her own tears as she forced a smile to Seulgi, before standing up and approached the crying girl. She kneeled and took Seulgi's hand,

"Hey I'm okay... I'm alright, you see?"

"No... it must be hard for you because... when you tried asking for help... nobody cared. I understand now how Moonbyul unnie felt..." Seulgi uttered between her sobs, which made Amber's forehead wrinkled more since she's been doing her best to not to cry.

"Seulgi.... do you want to know what's the difference between your Moonbyul unnie and me?" she proposed a short question while keeping herself calm.

Only Seulgi's sobs sounded loud since everyone in the circle were wordless hearing to their conversation.

At the end, Amber can't hold her tears anymore as she let out what she felt at that time sincerely, and caressed Seulgi's head,

"She used her pain as the reason to end her life but I'm using my pain to live my life,"

"Such a big... difference...right?"

Seulgi stared into Amber's glistening eyes and nodded before she threw her arms around the boyish's shoulders. She embraced the older girl's as tight as she can then, 

"Please Amber-sshi... please stay alive no matter what..." she managed to utter in her cries.

And Amber hugged the girl's back, approving Seulgi's favour,

"I promise to you Seulgi, I'll stay alive no matter what...."

Then another cries were heard and caught the group's attention again.

This time Yebin was having a hard time controlling her tears and tried to cover her face with her long hair.

"Unnie...I'm sorry...." Yebin bawled, vigourously sweeping her running tears away.

Chuckling, Minkyung immediately pulled Yebin's tiny body to hers.

"Aigoo this kidddd......"

She leaned her head to Yebin's, cheering her junior, "You are a big girl already, Yebin-ah. Stop crying,"

Still sobbing, Yebin replied,

"Seulgi unnie is bigger than me... why she can cry but I'm not..." she complained bluntly and made Seulgi laughed and cried at the same time.

Out of blue, Wendy shouted,

"Okay everyone come here!"pulling Krystal and Irene up with her, and hung her short arms around them.

Amber crackled first before she pushed herself up while dragging Seulgi along and joined Wendy, Irene and Krystal for a group hug.

Later, Kyulkyung and Dahyun copied the oldest members action, laughing out then tugged both Minkyung and Yebin too with them.

Led by the loud Wendy, they all screamed with all the strength they have, breaking the silence of the night,

"LET'S STAY ALIVE TOGETHER, LIFE LITERATURE CLUBBBBBB!!!!!"

Krystal laughed too as seeing Amber's opening wide,

"HAHAHAHA YOU ARE SO UGLY!"

Amber shouted back,

"YOU ARE UGLY TOO!!!!"

***