“There she is, my beloved daughter in law,” Mrs. Soo Hye said, stressing on the last phrase while exchanging looks with Mrs. Liu. “Come on dears, have a seat. We can’t start digging in if you keep on standing like that. Just like a ghost appears right in front of your eyes,”

Amber didn’t dare to tilt up her chin. She felt like she had become the centre of attention in the space, and indeed, she was. Until Jessica, the oldest among three of them, spoke in her gentle tone, while holding tight to her shoulder, “Let’s get a seat. Don’t worry, you have me and my sister,”

Upon hearing that, she felt Krystal’s warmth slowly embracing her cold hand then she heard her, “I’m with you till the end, Amber,”

Finally, the three settled themselves at the table.

Amber awkwardly bowed to Mrs. Soo Hye and Ms. Han In before her eyes eventually caught her father’s stare. Amber swallowed the lump in - in which it mixed with anxiety and guilty.

“You should at least greet your parents and your sister here, I am right, Amber?” Mrs. Soo Hye asked, smiling at the tomboy while concealing what’s the truth behind her bright face.

“I appreciate it, your semantic here, mother but let Amber breathes before you start your plan in ruining us all,” that was Krystal’s interruption. Without any fear, she faced Mrs. Soo Hye- giving her a sly smile.

Next, Krystal shifted her focus at Amber’s parents. “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Liu, and also Jackie,” she bowed a bit using only her head to them. “Since you all here by surprise, Amber only prepared a gift to my mother. Would you mind?”

Only Mrs. Liu smiled back at Krystal, while Jackie staring at her younger sister worriedly.

“Gift for what?” Mrs. Soo Hye asked as she took a sip of the wine.

Amber- thinking under pressure, gathered all the courage she had and began to speak. “It’s just for you Mam’, without any particular reason,”

Mrs. Soo Hye eyed the boyish curiously before she turned her face to Mrs. Liu. “Surely, you raised your daughter well,”

Said Mrs. Liu with a slight nod, “Thank you,”

It was an awkward pause when every member in the table immersed in their personal thoughts. Amber especially- she’s been thinking how to act natural with the sudden appearance of her parents. Plus, Mrs. Soo Hye’s sarcastic jokes didn’t seem to end too.

While Jackie, sitting next to their mother, couldn’t proceed with the food since she lost her appetite witnessing the arrogance of Mrs. Soo Hye and also their cold-hearted father. His silence from the beginning wasn’t a good sign. Jackie herself had been praying hard to God once they took the flight from Los Angeles, that nothing will be as worst as what she had imagined.

Although, she was taken aback after finding out about Amber’s sudden marriage, however in her mind, they’re still sisters- no matter what. Meanwhile, about her younger sister’s uality, Jackie had no will against it, because among her friends, gay or queer person should not be treated as nothing, and they’re no stranger to anyone.
 

Just one thing she had been disappointed of, Amber never open up about it to her. Maybe, if she had been informed early and clearly on Amber and Krystal’s marriage, she might have something up to do and well organized.

And none of them could probably face this difficult situation.

“Father… I….” Amber stuttered in her words, trying to confront Mr. Liu bravely at that time. “I… am sorry. I didn’t tell you about this,”

Before she could further, the man’s voice interrupted, “We do not speak much at the table, and we still have some time for this. Maybe right after dinner,” later he drank a glass of plain water.
 

Ms. Han In, another guest of the dinner- night muffled her breath silently. She hated to be involved but she had no choice. She cannot stand still if something terrible would happen to both Amber and Krystal. She knew Mrs. Soo Hye’s plan before the dinner and she had used all the energy and times she had to enlighten her best friend’s avenge against her own daughter. Clearly, every word and advice has been wasted.

“Mr. Liu, I wonder, if tonight’s dinner is accurately your taste?” Mrs. Soo Hye questioned politely after she wiped with a napkin. “Because spaghetti with steak is Krystal’s favourite,”

The man looked at Mrs. Soo Hye with his forehead furrowed then. “Your daughter has an exquisite appetite, I see. But in my family, spaghetti always served partially from steak,”

“Oh, that’s new to me. So, what is Amber’s favourite dish then?” Mrs. Soo Hye smiled.

Mr. Liu stopped munching and glanced at her daughter for a while.

“She likes everything her mother cooks,” that was his answer.

“I don’t think you know your daughter pretty well, Mr. Liu,” Krystal objected. “She enjoys her grandmother’s pork bun and sometimes, ramen,”

Amber was petrified on her seat. Krystal was right to the death about her favourite dish, and she also surprised to acknowledge her father didn’t know about it.

“Whoa, you remember,” she muttered in awe. The couple looked at each other as they exchanged smiles.

Mrs. Liu and Mrs. Soo Hye awkwardly smiled at each other.

While Jackie, Ms. Han In and Jessica were bloated- holding their laugh from coming out.

“I hate to say this, Mr. Liu but… that’s how my daughter is. Straight-forward and sometimes hard-headed too. She used to think she always right all the times,” Mrs. Soo Hye told and added, “Like what you have witnessed by yourself just now,”

Jessica face palmed herself and cursed mentally.

Krystal stared at her mother and casually said back, “Like mother, like daughter,” and inserted the meat into .

Again, Jackie forced herself not to laugh.

“Everyone has their weakness and strength, Mam. Krystal might be stubborn- sometimes, but she’s kind, same as you,” Amber voiced out.

Mr. Liu flinched in silence. He forced himself to eat and fought to ignore the conversation in the table lead by Mrs. Soo Hye and when he thought he was full, he excused himself immediately.

“Thanks for the glorious meals, Mrs. Soo Hye. I enjoyed it,” he fake a smile at the woman as he made himself out from the dining room.

“I guess, the dinner time has come to end then,” said Mrs. Soo Hye- finishing the last bit from the white plate. “Since your father refused the dessert, I think we better proceed with another… discussion?”

“If it is because of me, you should just ask me personally for your own version of discussion,” Krystal muttered, eyeing her own mother. Then, she felt Amber’s cold hand on hers.

“I think I understand her real intention, Krys,” said Amber and shifted her face at Mrs. Soo Hye. “I apologize for everything first. I was quite rude for not being able to introduce my parents and my sister to you at once, Mam,”

The ‘silence’ trio also finished the meal and gave their attention to the boyish. Only Mrs. Liu had her eyes fixed on the empty plate with the stain of black pepper sauce and broccoli.

“My mother here has devoted fully to a small church in our hometown, and so does my father. While me and my other copycat face- with long hair version there- my only sister, Jackie were sent to convent since junior high, fully sponsored by my hardworking father- because he believes we should stay close to our religion. We don’t have a villa or mansion as big as this place, but our house is spacious enough for us and the memories,” Amber started to speak after she calmed herself.

“I flew miles away from where I came from to live independently and hoping I can re-pay them with my own money and hard work,”

“After spending months of time in the language academy, to learn speaking Korean and when Korean is not very hard to me anymore, I decided I should pursuit my dream to learn about English literature, although Seoul University is not really a suitable place for it. So, I got in, and I met wonderful people. Young, innocent but full of joy. I learned that friends are nothing different to my family. Their happiness is mine and either they sorrows,”

“I’ve met Krystal at the same time I’ve met everyone else,” Amber glanced at her wife before she stared back at Mrs. Soo Hye and continued.

“You were right when you said your daughter is sometimes hard- headed and stubborn. No denial, Mam- that’s the truth because I used to wish every morning, we wouldn’t bump to each other,”

Finally, that has made Mrs. Soo Hye let out a small chuckle.

“Just to let you all know, our love story probably is just like other ordinary ones, but because I am a woman, it doesn’t look like one. If I am a guy, or Krystal is a guy- you will be the happiest mother in the world and my parents, would be the proudest of them all,”

“Mam, my mother and my father have nothing to do with my decision to take this path- to be who I am now, and to be the odd one in this society- they are not worthy to be blamed. Indeed, they taught me about faith and religion- two things that always remind me to be strong, no matter how hard my life is,”

“Amber, do you realize what you just said now?” Mrs. Liu interrupted with her concern eyes. “Religion and faith never deceive us. Choosing a wrong path is always because we let the demon we live with, wins,”

Amber was hurt. But she managed to go on.

“Yeah, let’s just say, now my demon has corrupted me, mother. But this demon like you said, keep whispering to me to be nice and kind to everyone, from the day I learned about my true self until now. This demon urged me to live my life to the fullest and to accept my feelings, and the same demon who pushed me to picture of your smiles when I had everything prepared to finish my life, long time ago. The day you said to me,”

“There is no God or religion could purify my sins for loving a girl…”

The table sank in silence including Mrs. Liu.

Holding the tears in her eyes, Amber stared directly at her mother who sat right in front of her,

“I was so close to end myself, so that I could end my sins too. And why this demon showed up and saved me, not the priest or you? And who we are to decide about sins, mother? Tell me one thing that really could guarantee your place in heaven while you’re still alive?”

Nobody has spoken a thing. The silence continued.

Amber took some time to think and calm her burning nerve. She didn’t mean to be rude or to embarrass her mother, but she wished what she has said would be able to touch her heart and put off the flame from the mothers’ inner sides.

The ‘demon’ that she mentioned of was actually ‘hope’.

“You can hate me, Mam. But I’m sure you can’t do the same to your daughter,” Amber muttered, sniffing. “Marriage should be the thing that put we all together, not to end the love you have for everyone else,”
 

“I know you are so disappointed knowing this, mother,” then she changed her attention to Mrs. Liu. “But nothing’s changed, trust me. Me, marrying a woman doesn’t make you a worst mother, loving her doesn’t make you lose me forever, mother. Whenever you need me, you know I’m the child that always do not have the gut to say ‘no’,”

Jackie cried silently. When Amber looked at her, she nodded and thumbed up.

“Tell me, Mam, what can I do for you to make you at ease with this?” Amber asked Mrs. Soo Hye sincerely.

The woman ran out of words. She ignored Amber’s eyes, but she heard another words from her again,

“Krystal loves you so much, Mam. She just don’t know how to say it because she used to distance herself from you after her father was gone,”

Krystal, when she listened it, her tears streamed down heavily. She did not want to see her mother’s face not because she disliked her, but because deep down she agreed what Amber has just uttered.

Mrs. Soo Hye eventually looked up and encountered Amber’s soft gaze.

“If I made you uncomfortable, I will--- try to walk away, Mam. If you have a dream of seeing Krystal happy with a real guy, I will try to--- make it fulfilled, so that you both can be very happy, Mam,” Amber said- stuttering.

Krystal was crying hard and covered her face with her long hair as she heard that. She wanted to say something back, but imagining Amber letting her go, it was just too hurtful.
While Jessica caressed her younger sister’s back smoothly, trying to sooth her.

“To say I love her so much, in front of you and in front of my family members, you all would never accept it, I know, it’s a disgrace. But that’s how I feel about her,” Amber paused and gazed at the young woman beside her. She tried to smile as she caressed Krystal’s hair politely.

“You surely have raised such a wonderful lady, Mam. She deserves all the goodness in this world. I thought, if I am a guy, we would have all of your blessings and we can try to live happily ever after,”

“And when this happening, I know we are… impossible,”

Amber rose from the wooden chair and followed by everyone’s eyes had on her, she bowed to Mrs. Soo Hye.

“Please, be happy, Mam and I’m very sorry for making you think that I would take away Krystal from you. Here I came today, bringing her to give back to you. I’m taking all the blames and faults we have committed, and from today and so on, she is…free, from me,” the boyish said- bowing down.

Mrs. Soo Hye watched her youngest daughter- was sobbing and crying hard after Amber’s figure disappeared from the room.

In another side, Krystal had already expected, her marriage/ relationship with Amber would end on that day and what had been spoken at the table was actually first discussed between them two last night. She thought she has successfully convinced Amber to stay but it would appear to her, at that heart-breaking moment, Amber had made up her mind.

Crying hard realizing Amber wasn’t there anymore, Krystal didn’t able to speak a thing. She let her mother stared at her-speechless, she let Jessica cried together with her as the latter ran her smooth palm up and down at her back and she let the other guests at the table lost without any sounds.

And the same feeling she had experienced when she knew Mr. Jung lost his life in the brutal accident had resurfaced.
 

But this time, the pain was even worse, and too severe.

________