Amber's Diary 

Why should I say about this? 

A rush? 

In a hurry? 

Desperate?

or... quite absurd?

Marrying her could be one of the bravest thing I'll do in life. She can be my other significant, or maybe can be more and complete my everything.

She was surprised the moment I asked her to marry me but not long after, she smiled. With her teary eyes, she nodded and we both knew that we're officially engaged. 

I told our Life Literature Club about the proposal and it was not even a surprise for me when each of them sent us a text continuously. 

Krystal told me that Irene and Seulgi at the same time sent messages asking either what I announced was a joke and she immediately replied no, following by further description and explanation. On another side, Wendy video called and performed a congratulatory song special for her.

While I received the same question from Pinky, Minky, and Dubu with extra question marks, "Unnie you are really getting married???????" 

I laughed first before I replied to them one by one and same as Krystal, I explained clearly what's really happening. Only Yebin, a girl with high level of curiousity asked, 

'Did your parents know about it?'

And made me rested my back at the armchair for a while. 

I was suddenly afraid when I think about how my mother and father are going to react to this if they know. 

I used to tell them everything except my gender identity although I'm halfly sure mother probably awared of who I really am after the 'tragic puppy love story' back then in high school. She had a conversation with the head of nun before, and she might received a 'warning' from Ms. Wilson to make sure I should be a girl, naturally. 

This is what I'm thinking right now. 

How am I suppose to tell both my father and mother about me wanting to marry a girl for real? 

Is this the beginning of my sorrow..... or the end of it? 

***

Kyulkyung and Yebin were almost getting into the book which they're reading when the sudden knock from the door surprised them. 

Playing rock, scissors and papers to decide who's gonna open the door, Yebin groaned loudly when the Chinese defeated her and stucked out her tongue. 

Lazily dragging her feet to the unit's entrance, she unlocked the door before pulling it wide and was directly greeted by Krystal, who's beautifully standing there while holding a lot of plastic bags. 

"Krystal unnie!" Yebin shouted, astounded by the older's sudden appearance since it's been almost two months she moved out from the place. 

"Goshhhh, you should tell us first before stopping by!" 

Smiling, Krystal stepped in and told Yebin, "It won't be a surprise then," 

"Aaahh I see...." Yebin murmured as she tailed Krystal walking to the living room. 

Then, it was Kyulkyung's turn to shout as she saw the pretty face. 

"Krystal unnie!" she shouted as she ran towards her for a hug. "Oh my.... it's been quite a while!" 

"Yeah-yeah I know it's been months girls," Krystal stated, cackled before putting the plastic bags onto the dining table and added happily, "I brought our favourite food, wanna take a break?" 

Clapping like a kid as she saw food, Yebin's eyes widen as she replied, "Of course! Pleasure for me unnieeeee!" 

Kyulkyung joined in then, "Wow... so much food! More than enough for all of us though..." 

"Trust me, all of these aren't enough for all of us," told the oldest girl while unwrapping the containers carefully. She then looked up to see Yebin's eyes and asked calmly, "Is Amber home? I sent a text to tell her I'm coming but there's no reply," 

The duo quickly glanced at each other before turning back their attention to Krystal. 

Holding a smile, Kyulkyung said, "You know what she's been doing around this hour almost everyday, right? And you probably know well how much she loves sleeping too," 

Krystal released a stressful sigh. 

"Gosh... It's almost noon!" 

"Yeah, and she still in the dreaming land," added Yebin. "Unnie, go wake her up and we'll set the table," 

Another sigh came out before Krystal shook off her head disappointedly. 

"Alright then, I'm going to crush all her sweet dreams and she'll sleep no more after this," Krystal nagged, making the two laughed out loud. 

The moment she stepped into the private space of Amber, Krystal can't help but to smile when she witnessed her favourite person was laying down on the bed restlessly, having the book at the side of her pillow and the phone in her grasp. 

My idiot fiance, Krystal mentally thought. Noticing the room is still dark, she walked to the window and pulled off the curtains, letting the sunlight broke into the space. She shifted to the bed and saw Amber's eyes slightly opened then a small smile curved beautifully. 

"Not so good morning for you," Krystal greeted, sitting herself on the mattress while facing the sloppy Amber whom just got up by the bright sunshine. 

"I thought I saw an angel of curtain," Amber spoke with her deep voice. 

Their eyes met then, and the smiles exchanging from each other's. 

"Get up, I brought plenty food for you and the girls," told Krystal, pinching Amber's cheek playfully. "And today we have something important to do as well," 

"Important?" Amber raised both her eyebrows. 

Krystal nodded a bit and replied, 

"I would like you to meet my god-mother. She's here for my cousin's wedding tomorrow," 

Stretching her neck, Amber covered -yawning wide and looked at Krystal, eyes struggling to open. 

"What..? What I have to do with her, Krys?" 

"Hmm..."
Krystal reached for Amber's hand and stared into the older's orbs, "I used to tell her a lot of wonderful things that I dreamed of when I was a child. We seldomly meeting each other nowadays because right after I graduated from high school, she has been appointed as the ambassador of South Korea and tranferred to Washington," 

"Wow, woman of carrier," Amber interrupted. 

"Yeah, she's a busy person," added Krystal. 

"But today she skipped everything just for us,"

Amber shot a confuse look, searching for a meaning from her fiance's eyes but got nothing at the end. 

"For us? What do you mean...?" 

Krystal caressed Amber's hand before she responded, "She knew, everything about us," 

Half-surprised, the boyish stared deep into Krystal's eyes, trying to read the younger's mind as she added, 
"I... thought... we're still planning about telling our family members?" 

Smiling, the long haired expressed, 

"Then it is not a plan anymore, Amber," as she cupped the older's cheek gently, "Don't worry, I trust her more than I trust my own mother. She's her best friend but they're totally different okay," 

"So... we're going to meet your favourite person then?" 

Krystal hummed, nodding her head. 

"Then let me clean myself first because I ain't meeting her with messy hair and stinky mouth," Amber asked, slowly freeing herself from the mattress. She streched her back and grabbed the towel hanging on the door of the cupboard, yawning once again before looking at the fiance, 

"Eat with them first but don't let they finish everything, alright?" 

Krystal cracked as she slapped Amber's playfully, making the latter fake a grunt at her. 

***

(Listening to How Do You Sleep by Sam Smith)  

"What do you do?" 

"Im.. a student, Seoul National University," 

"But you're getting married," 

"I know, I'm planning to do part time job soon," 

Krystal knew something's going on based on the serious tension between Amber and her mother-like, Ms. Yoon but she thought the best is not to interrupt because she wanted to see how the boyish would react to all her godmother's questions. 

"Liu, winning over my daughter's heart must be not easy, right?" Ms. Yoon pointed out, cutting the steak using fork and knife elegantly. She faced Amber's back after chewing the meat. 

Stupefied, Amber just clamped her lips together and exchanged a quick glance with Krystal who sat next to her at that time. 

"The truth is, I... I mean we-- we did not try to win each other's heart," Krystal intruded and came to the rescue. "I like her because she's always the reason of my mind-changing," 

Ms. Yoon raised her eyebrows, eyeing her god-daughter closely. 

"Hmm, I can see it now," and shifted back her attention to Amber. "I tell you, that mind-changing from this little princess of mine actually is quite a miracle. I was there the time she opened her eyes to see the world for the first time and also remember that day I missed my job interview in White House," 

Krystal laughed, "Now you mad at me because you can't be the first female President of America?" 

Finally Amber able to feel a bit comfortable when she saw Ms. Yoon's smile. 

"Nothing should come first before her, Amber. Remember that," the middle-aged woman delivered her honest opinion, curving a calm smile. "I thought I could get married and will have a kid but it's all too late, isn't it? But the more I think about that, being a single woman is the best," 

"The best?? You look so lonely, auntie!" stated Krystal. She pushed her plate towards Amber, demanding her to take out the slices of cucumber. 

Ms. Yoon witnessed how Amber, without a word removed that veggie Krystal hates although there's no speaking or talking between them. 

She sighed a smile, being aware of how strong their chemistry is. 

She thought too, there's no reason to have any doubt on Amber's sincerity since the short-hair clearly able to remain calm and kept her cool, even though she attacked her with quite of nonsense questions before.  

"Ms. Yoon, I have a concern here that I'm worry about," suddenly Amber voiced out, drawing attention from both Krystal and Ms. Yoon. 

"Krystal got... you, to be part of of our 'future life' but I... I don't have one," 

The oldest woman there immersed in a deep thoughts for a second, humming as she searched the best answer for Amber. She stared back at her afterwards, 

"Dear... you gotta take all the courage you have now and tell them the truth," 

Krystal could sense Amber was in her highest anxious meter through her acts since she's been scrunching her eyebrows repeatedly and that made her suddenly worried. 

Secretly, she reached for Amber's hand under the table, and gripped it tight- hoping it would be enough to calm her down. 

"Ms. Yoon... Not everyone going to like the truths in their lives. Especially both my parents," told Amber, tilted her head down a little and stared at the white plate of hers. 

To think of what Mr. and Mrs.Liu will react to her decision marrying Krystal- Amber felt not just scared, but certainly horrified. 

"Amber, is it you... or them that dislike of the truths in lives, hmmh? So far I can see now, you're the one who's been running from everything, not them," Ms. Yoon calmly delivered her thoughts, making Amber surprised out of the blue. 

"There's a lot of corners, roads and highways in world. We always have a choice to take any of them, based on where our destination will be, right? So tell me Amber, where's yours? You have to choose now which road you gonna take. Shortcut but there would be the worst traffic ever in the middle of your way there or, follow the normal way although it would be a very long and tiring drive," 

Krystal glanced on her side, checking on Amber's expression. 

"I understand it now, Ms. Yoon," claimed Amber, curving a little smile. 

The oldie raised her eyebrows and hummed again then, "So then? What will you do, kid?" 

Shifting her head to see Krystal's face, Amber kept her smile as she replied, 

"I will have my own way, Ms. Yoon. And with whom I will take with,"  

***

(Listening to Cover Up by SNSD's Taeyeon) 

Weakly flopped her body on the smooth cushion- she breathed in deep and released the air rough- hoping all the messy thoughts would go away with the wind. 

Then she shifted her head towards the kitchen's counter island, captured the love of her life was unwrapping the instant ramen's package with full of concentration. 

Amber let out a small chuckle as she rose from the sofa and directed herself towards the house's kitchen. 

"Are you hungry?" she asked, picking the green grape from the bowl and plucked it into . 

"Yah, it hasn't been rinsed yet," complained Krystal when she saw Amber ate the fruit casually, not bothering either it is clean or not. 

"O-oh? You wash it first???" 

"Yes, of course. We don't know where they're from, idiot," she hissed and the electric stove. "Since it is fresh from the farm it's not possible if there's dirty dust you knowww..." 

Amber stared at Krystal's focus face and chuckled again. 

"Hey wifey," she teased and moved her face closer to the fiance's. 

Feeling the sudden warmth when their shoulders touched, Krystal felt her blood rushed as she met Amber's eyes. 

"Whaa.t.." she mumbled, definitely has been mesmerized with the stare. 

"I'd never get the chance to confess, isn't it?" said Amber, lowering her tone and sounded deeper than usual. 

(Adapted from Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell)

Before she could withdraw her mind from its far places, her arms were around her, as sure and hard as on the dark road to nowhere, so long ago. She felt again the rush of helplessness, the sinking yielding, the surging tide of warmth that left her limp. And the quiet face of Amber was blurred and drowned to nothingness. She bent back her head across her arm and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to Amber as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. Her insistent mouth was parting Krystal's shaking lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. And before a swimming giddiness spun her round and round, she knew that she was kissing Amber back.

"Guys youuu...." Jessica butted in and immediately frozen at her standing spot- jaw dropped. She blinked her eyes repeatedly, trying to recover from the surprise of what she has seen. 

"I'm sorry..." she apologized hesitantly and made Krystal pushed Amber's chest away. The boyish cleared before plucking another unwashed grape into . 

She took a step away from the counter island and bowed a bit to Jessica as she walked out from the space, heading to the guest room while rubbing her unitchy head awkwardly throughout the way. 

Embarassed, Krystal tried her best to act casual as she continued what she left before the 'scene' reenacted again in her mind. 

She hid her smile alone when she heard the clicking sound from the fridge.
The older opened it and grabbed a bottle of mineral water then shifted her eyes at her younger sister. 

"It was my first time witnessing a real live kissing scene, right in front of my eyes," she mumbled, shaking her head left to right and gulped the drink. "Soojungie, this house is not entirely yours yet, okay? Sinbi and me are still here before you and Amber move in. You remember the deal?" 

Stirring the noodles thoroughly, Krystal sighed in annoyance as she glared at Jessica. 

"I'm not a promise-breaker. I remember what I said and I will do the deal, just exactly what we have agreed," 

Jessica glared back, in teasing mode, 

"But what just happened now huh? I'm not blind," 

Krystal flinched and hissed, pretended that she heard nothing, totally avoided the older's face away. 

"It wasn't me started it first..." although it was low and barely audible from Krystal, but Jessica could hear it all clear. She grinned and laughed out loud. 

"Haizz, go away! You ruined the moment!" Krystal shouted angrily and shot another glare to her older sister, before carefully poured the cooked ramen into her favourite bowl. 

"Oh? I ruined the moment???" Jessica asked playfully. "Hello! Kitchen is a horrible place for kissing!" 

"Aish shut up will you?!" already reaching the highest meter of her patience, Krystal scoffed and turned her body around. "You have no right to decide where is the best place for me and her to kiss!" 

"Oh yes I am! I'm your older sister, okay?!" Jessica provoked her again, half-grinning. The teasing game happened quite a while until Krystal took a fork and pointed at Jessica's face. 

"I'm not afraid to poke your eyeballs out with this if you keep that face on!" 

"Yah-yah! No don't! Not this face, okay?! I make money with this flawless face or say no more to your extra allowance!" 

At the end they laughed together and Krystal put back the fork to it's place and fake a disgusting face at her sister. 

"Soo Jung," Jessica called out. 

"What?" 

"I'm really sorry okay? I know... you two just now... are totally in love but I screwed the lovely moment huhu," 

Blushing, Krystal hissed again, " Heshhh! Forget it can you?!" 

Jessica covered her laugh with her palms when the younger shot her deadliest glare and she apologized repeatedly then.

"I'm going to eat now, you better shut up or I'll kill you for real," threatened Krystal as she put the bowl onto the tray and heading to the guest room. Before she disappeared fully from the kitchen, she heard Jessica said, 

"Wash your mouth first before another 'moment' happen, okay?" joked Jessica and wide opened-laughing hard and has stopped immediately when the real flying 'fork' landed on her forehead afterwards. 

She winched in pain while Krystal continued another laugh and flee away in the speed of light from her older sister's sight, leaving her alone in the kitchen.