(Listening to Party Monster by The Weekend) 

Amber's POV 

I thought of grabbing Krystal's hands and wanting to drag her out of here. It's not like I've never been to parties before, indeed, I spent my early twenties with beers and loud music. Just at this time, I feel like something choking my neck. 

Hard to breathe though the thin air is fresh and clean. 

"You can pretend to everyone else here, Amber, but not me," Irene's voice errupted my deep thoughts. I shifted my head to my right side, only to see the wind was blowing her dark-black hair beautifully. 

"I don't know what are you trying to say," I replied, furrowing my eyebrows together. 

She just slightly lifted her chin and signalled to where Krystal was standing, humming at me. "Seulgi, Wendy and me, we all have real concern for two of you lately. Wendy made a little research about getting the legal document for your marriage so in future, there will be no discomfort or difficulty," 

I sighed a bit, sipping to the expensive wine. 

"I'm getting closer to there as well, Irene-sshi. Krystal's godmother is using every cable she has to register our marriage legally but one thing a problem here is, I... I don't get my parents' consents, yet," 

She looked at me, 

"Consents? Do you still think you need those?" 

I nodded weakly as response. 

"I grew up feeling that I don't share any connection with my family members. My mother, she speaks to me the most about everything but in contrast, I'd never think I should do the same. I was a lonely teenager, barely putting trusts on others and even the worst thing was, I lied, so I could fit in with everyone around me. Years of doing these, I think I am slowly getting tired of it. I don't mind if they're gonna hate me, but I just want to show to Krystal that, parents have an important role in our lives. What happened to her mother and her before, I don't want her to think that she has me, she has our marriage as an excuse for her to turn away from her own family".  

Frowning a little, Irene stared at my face, "She's now a fully grown adult, Amber-sshi. You know she's responsible with every decision she has made," 

"Marrying you for example. It isn't entirely your responsibility but hers as well," 

I sanked in silence for a moment, taking another small sip to the wine. Later, I sensed her grip on my right shoulder. She said gently, "I remembered how our first day meeting each other, Amber. How honest you were, and how brave you were to be so truthful to us. Krystal, was right about you. You're looking like someone who has all the answers to her questions," 

I sniggered, reminiscing the first scene we encountered before being 'close friends' like now. Irene was serious, Seulgi was nervous and Wendy was the most cheerful one.

"Yup you guys are the beauty trio,"

Irene laughed, 

"We're actually afraid if you aren't friendly. Well, based from Krystal's story-telling, she described you as the calm and rigid person, a woman with firm principle of life," 

"Now you figured out that was her being exaggerative," I butted in. 

"Hah, not really. I have studied your personality, you're not quite a far from Krystal's previous description," 

"Oh just right, Joo Hyun-sshi, you sound like you're just trying to make me buy you something," I said and made she let out a half-surpressed laugh. 

"I'm not asking you to buy me a thing, Amber," her voice turned smoother, and tender. "I want you to know that you're valid. Your thoughts, your feelings and your... hidden insecurities, they are well- founded. You have built the person of who you are now, Amber. Don't stop even though the world will be against you one day," 

I nodded then reassured her with a half-confident smile. 

"Don't worry, I have no need to go against people. I have no reason to stop everything that has just begun recently. You were right here, Irene. I built all of those, they're so precious to me,"  

Irene smiled back, and clanked her glass with mine. 

"Well done, llama," 

"Well thank you, rabbit," 

After the short conversation with Irene, I joined Krystal with the girls. And tried to forget every word I have said to Irene, with intention to convince her that I had a peaceful mind at that time. 

Which unfortunately, I am not. 

I hate the fact that I couldn't express to Krystal how scared I am. 

Seeing her laugh and smile, I know, I should not ruin it. 

How I am suppose to introduce her to my parents? 

What I'm gonna start with? 

Should I say I have married the girl in my dream and expect them to welcome us with open arms?

Neither Irene or Krystal, or the girls of Life Literature Club is right about me being good in giving answers. For them, I'm the professor of life, but they haven't seen me as the struggling student yet. 

Yes, for the very first time in these four years, I sensed the worst thing is coming. 

Sooner or later, I'm not sure. 

But, yes, I am not yet ready. 

***

Jessica rushed towards the main entrance of her penthouse as she raised her right hand to one of the guard man. 

"You came at the wrong time!" she shouted at the tinted window. "I thought we agreed on next Thursday???" 

She watched patiently how the window has been slowly disappeared downwards until the image of her mother greeted her unwelcomingly. Jessica grunted a bit, and released a mouthful of groan afterwards. 

"I don't have all the time in the world for this, Soo Yeon, you know it," 

"But mother, they're having fun! We all are having fun and you can't just walk in and ruin the mood???" 

"I'm not here to listen to you. I came for the girl," replied Mrs. Soo Hye sternly. "You have my words, I won't crush your party, Jessica. Not today," 

After another irritated faces and groans, Jessica finally gave another signal to the guard, letting her mother's sedan car marched in freely. 

She secretly screamed in her mind, praying at that time, Krystal would not kill her for real because she just willingly permitted their mother to the place without her knowledge. 

(Back to the party) 

Key danced and laughed at his own weird moves, circling around Yebin, Kyulkyung, Dahyun and Yebin- as they drifted unconsciously into the upbeat and loud music. The most anticipating party of the year seemed to have a lot of fun since all of them were enjoying the moment, and also wanting together it would last forever. 

Meanwhile, Amber and Krystal, the only couple from the group had lost in their own world. They didn't seem to be able to hear anything in the crowd, but interacting directly through their staring eyes. 

Krystal eyed Amber's tipsy face, smilling in disbelief. She gently took the latter's hand with hers, leading them a bit far from the hectic crowd. 

Once they settled at the edge of the stairs, she sniggered again, watching Amber who vigorously shaking her head off to make the drunky mind goes away. 

"Hey Amber, how are you?" she intentionally asked, watching the boyish's face closer. 

"Dizzy," replied Amber, massaging both sides of her head. "I'm totally a crap now huh Krys?" 

Krystal's forehead scrunched as she studied Amber's face again. 

"Crap? What do you mean?" 

Amber smiled momentarily before she took Krystal's hand and raised it up, "The thing around your beautiful finger, could it be...a bad luck to you after this huh Krys?" 

Knowing exactly Amber was drunk, Krystal didn't say anything but instead she stared at the ring for a second. 

It symbolized how diligent, strong and loyal Amber was after all these years, carrying the pain alone, by herself. 

The boyish touched Krystal's slim fingers, examining the shiny item as she furthered, 

"I thought once, this, would belong to no one, you know? And I'd even had a thinking, twice, to put it in a pawnshop when I had no money to buy presents for my parents' anniversary 3 years ago," Amber chuckled, shaking her head from side to side again and again. 

"I'm lucky as hell because Key found out about me struggling to live alone here in South Korea then he let me stayed in his house for a while. That diva man provided me a room to sleep and food to eat for months before his kind dad offered me a nice job," 

Even though she kept shut in silence, Krystal ensured her ears were all opened too. 

"I spent years, been through ups and downs, meeting women- dumping them until I got sick of myself, and I got sick of having romantic feeling towards girls. Want to know how many girls have I dated before marrying you?" the straightforward question came from Amber had startled Krystal a bit. 

Before she could ever say a thing, Amber claimed, 

"There were four of them, three were official with me and one wasn't really official. I don't think they have real feelings for me because... I'm a loser?" 

Krystal stared at Amber's eyes, as deeply as she could.

And she gripped back the boyish's warm hand, shaking her head unconsciously. 

"What's so important in relationship, you tell me, Krys? Loyalty? Love? Or, blessings?" 

Again, Krystal's mouth has been zipped off entirely.  

"Let me explain to you," all of sudden, Amber straightened her back and stood up as she released her hand from Krystal's. 

She pocketed the left palm and eyed Krystal directly. 

"I loved Minah the most, among all of them because I thought she loved me too... And the sad thing was, she's not, really into me... Guess what? I felt my heart broken to pieces when I heard she said, we would never get anyone's blessing because of our false nature," 

"So started from that day, I carried out a weird experiment. In every relationship, I tried to provoke each of them with the term of 'blessing' or 'consent' from their own parents. I asked them, what do you think, you mom and dad would react if they know you're having a relationship with me?" 

"I made them fell for me but not even a week later, I was the one who left because none of them able to give an answer to my question. Until this particular woman, whom I met 9 months before I knew you... Arghh what's her name again? Urm... well, I'm really having trouble remembering that one," Amber grunted when the pain striked through the nerves of her brain. 

That made Krystal flashed a worry-look and quickly grabbed Amber's hand to stabilize her standing posture. 

"Nah-nah, I'm fine... just dizzy, that's all, nothing serious," mumbled Amber. She refused to sit down and continued more, 

"Let's call her A," she began again. "She's not that pretty but quite attractive for me. 3 years older but sometimes could be so innocent and cute," 

"She taught me a lot about Korean and we usually speak in English, since she's from LA too. We were so peaceful to each other and I love how casual she was when we're talking about adult life. That girl told me to not give a about blessing or consent or whatever the thing that involves our parents," Krystal held her laugh as she realized it was her first time listened to Amber's swearing. 

"Funny, right? Because 2 months with her, I felt like I'm a bird. No cage, no border or no limit to where I could fly my wings. 'A' was the reason for me to forget things easily and withdrawed all the bad memories I had in the past. We had a great time together but... she's the one who decided how's the ending of our relationship," Amber's tone slowly changed as she tilted her face down.  

Krystal braved herself to ask. 

"What... happened then?"

Amber faced up and smiled, 

"Same reason, Krys. Despite of encouraging me to be myself, to fight for everything I loved, she can't run from making mistakes too, I guess? Her father found out about us and... she put the end of the relationship with a simple memo on my dining table saying, 'I'm sorry. You will find someone better than me. Just have faith on it,"

Amber made a half-bow and clapped her hands elegantly. 

"That's the sad story of me. I wish it won't happen again... to me.. or you..." 

"I swear it won't, Amber," stated Krystal, half-smiled. "That's enough story for today, okay? What about I make you some coffee?" 

Amber grinned instantly and thumbed up.

Krystal chuckled as she embraced Amber's waist and helped her to walk. A few accidental stumblings and some extra bubbling from the boyish made her smiled to herself. Surely alcohol is a very usefull liquid that could make Amber confesses her true heart. 

As they both reached the island counter of Yuri's house, Krystal felt like her feet sticking tight to the marble floor. 

Mrs. Soo Hye's figure appeared in calm state, gazing upon her and Amber as they exchanged firm stares for a moment before Jessica hurriedly interrupted in. 

"Please, don't start a fuss here?" she begged, giving her younger sister a sympathy look. 

Amber, still in her drunk mode had a hard time trying to recognize who Mrs. Soo Hye is. Meanwhile, Krystal who's been supporting her balance only able to sigh in frustration. 

The middle-aged woman took a step closer as she stared straight at Krystal's eyes and muttered, 

"I'm not here for argument, Soo Jung. I'm here for... my daughter-in law," 

The siblings were astonished by their own mother's words as they took turn giving 'what the hell' look to each other. 

Out of blue, Amber bowed down and greeted both Jessica and Mrs. Soo Hye. 

"Good evening my mother in law and my sister in law! God knows how honored I am to stand here precisely in front of both of you!" 

Krystal pulled Amber closer to her afterwards, "Please don't say a word," 

"Eh why?? I should really greet them properly, didn't I Krys???" Amber argued, frowning innocently.
 

Jessica facepalmed herself before she held their mother's right arm as gentle as she could. "I don't want to be rude but in this situation, mother, let's wait until Amber gets a bit... sober?" 

Still in her firm expression, Mrs. Soo Hye nodded her head, agreed. 

***

The mother and her daughters sat facing each other at the dining table, letting the hot coffees' vapourized the cold atmosphere while Amber- the 'new family member' was still struggling hard to open her eyes. 

"She's not a heavy drinker. This is also my first time seeing her getting drunk," stated Krystal. "Maybe because she's being polite in the party and didn't want to let everyone else down," 

Mrs. Soo Hye took a sip of the drink from the mug, nodded a little. 

"I'm looking forward to have a conversation with her. I want to know what type of person my daughter in law is," 

Sensing the sarcastic tone from her mother, Krystal flinched before she opened again, 

"I thought you're here to resolve? Or actually just want to annoy me more?" 

"Krystal," Jessica broke the cold stare from her sister, massaging her temples repeatedly. "Please, this isn't our home. Let's just agree that we won't start any family drama at other people's house, can we? There are guests and our friends out there enjoying the moment, so I beg two of you, please, talk nicely to each other?" 

The youngest neglected the warning stare from her sister as she glanced at Amber. She took the boyish's right hand and made her slowly enveloped the mug. "Drink it more, Amber. You'll feel better soon," 

Like a good kid, Amber nodded and sipped to the hot drink without any objection. 

"Madam," suddenly the boyish voiced out after a long silence. She let her eyes met Mrs. Soo Hye and added, "You have the greatest daughters in your life, madam," 

Mrs. Soo Hye stared back at the latter, didn't really catch on what the she has said to her. 

"Jessica, your first born here, is the most exclusive lady I've ever met. The beautiful, considerate and a very-very kind hearted woman," Amber spat out what's inside her mind at that moment, caring less that she's actually not really sane. 

"And Krystal, your cute youngest? She's the best person alive!" 

Another mental face-palming, Jessica only gave Krystal her apologize look. 

"Amber, stop talking. You're not fully sober yet," asked Krystal, chuckling. She unintentionally glanced over Mrs. Soo Hye who's been watching them quietly from her seat, and broke the eye-contact instantly afterwards. 

"No... Madam must know, and appreciate how lucky she is to give birth to you and Jessica, Krys," Amber refuted, grabbing back her wife's hand. 

"Madam," Amber addressed Mrs. Soo Hye again and cleared with no specific reason. Restrained herself from burping out loud, she hit her flat chest- then looked back at the elegant old woman. 

"You should feel proud because they are... unconditionally beautiful. At least, they're still look like a real woman, right? While me? My parents hate me for looking like a man," 

The three's lips have been sealed shut as they heard that. 

"I don't know, Madam. I....I... have been trying to tell them, I hate wearing skirts, I hate growing out hair but I really love them with all my heart," confessed Amber, putting her right hand again on her chest. "Why people always make rules, madam? Why I can give all of me to them, but they can't do the same?" 

Afraid Amber would continue mumbling random things again, Krystal intruded, "Mother, please excuse us, she could use some rest right now," 

Sipping more to the hot coffee, the mother replied in her gentle tone, "Drunk people always speak the truth," 

"Let her finish the rest, Krystal. Probably I would never get a chance like this anymore once she gets sober," 

"That's right over there, madam," Amber added, while Krystal and Jessica exchanged glances again. 

"I believe this is...the moment of truth," 

Surpressed a bit of chuckle, Mrs. Soo Hye nodded at Amber. 

"Keep it going," 

Amber caressed her front hair to the back of her head and inhaled a deep breath. She did a quick open-close session of her blurry eyes before her husky voice came out clearly. 

"Krystal... Your daughter didn't decide all of these, Madam. It was me. I... forced her to marry me," 

"No, you're not, that's a wrong statement," Krystal denied, glaring at her partner's face. "You did not force me, I said yes to you, willingly, okay?" 

Amber made an 'okay' sign then. 

"True," 

Jessica laughed but immediately covered with her palm as Krystal's sharp eyes met hers. 

"Alright, child. I get it, you two love each other," suddenly Mrs. Soo Hye interrupted. "Just one thing I'm curious about, how's you going to face all your relatives about this? How you'll get a children on your own?" 

"O-oh, that thing," Amber sniggered spontaneously, answering back like the words are as light as feather to be spilled, "Firstly, I will explain to them, the damn busybody relatives that I have married to the most beautiful person in Earth, legally, in black and white written paper- so they can't attack me back by law. Second, I won't have children because what's the use of having the next generation that will inherit our gay genes?"

"What???" Krystal spat out, unsatisfied, making Amber instantly apologized on the spot. 

"No-no-no, that's not what I mean," 

"So?" she lifted her eyebrows at the boyish. 

"Somehow, I don't want him or her to get hurt for knowing and learning to understand that I have a wrong nature. Born as woman but act and think like a man," and she stared at Mrs. Soo Hye with sad eyes. "I'm sorry Madam, but that's the truth about me. My friend suggests I should undergo a gender surgery but... I don't like that idea," 

"Hmm, woman is special in different way or more likely to be even more exceptional in certain times," Mrs. Soo Hye stated. "You are now acknowledged your situation, but you still think this marriage will make you comfortable?" 

"To have a happy, normal and comfortable life... Should we make rules for it too, Madam? To love your daughters truthfully, there's also rules and conditions should be made first? Doesn't it comes in naturally?" 

"Don't every mother dreams of happiness for her children? If her child loves someone naturally without any condition, why would a mother, decides in what way- her child will be happy?"

The questions has muted the logic person like Mrs. Soo Hye. Her eyes gazed upon the short hair's face first before it roamed around the kitchen, considering what's the answer would match well. 

Krystal looked at her mother, watching her facial changed and tried to go inside of her conservative mind. She used to listen to all of her logical statements, and believed Mrs. Soo Hye is clearly the best at fighting what she thinks is right. 

But now, she could feel Amber's honesty has broken it.  

"We, as human, never decide how we should feel, Madam. Love, especially, should be cherished unconditionally. If you love Krystal, you will let her loves me too. And if you think I'm right, you'll be cheering and supporting us," said Amber. 

"I let my heart decides since I live because it's beating. It must keep beating inside here or I can't live anymore, and Krystal owns every part of it, Madam. If she's gone, then my heart will stop beating too," 

When none of the three reacted or utter a word, Amber laughed to herself. 

"You guys look so like each other, and that's amazing,"

A few more incoherent words from the short hair, Mrs. Soo Hye finally asked Krystal, 

"Just get her to rest now, Soo Jung. Once she wakes up tomorrow, prepare a heavy breakfast with non-sugar lemon tea. I'll get going," she rose from the chair and grabbed her handbag on the counter island, before eyeing Amber for one last time. 

"Tell her I'm looking forward for a proper conversation when she's fully, sane. Make sure to come over for dinner this Saturday cause your god- mother also will be there," 

Jessica followed her mother's act and glanced at her younger sister, eyebrows raised. 

"I'll make sure mother reaches the exit door safely and you take this dino here back to your room, Soo Jungie," 

"Don't remind me about that, I know how to handle her on my own," replied Krystal arrogantly. 

Before she disappeared through the living room, Jessica rolled her eyes annoyingly and puffed out her cheeks- and left both Krystal and Amber with the leftover drinks. 

The pretty face stared at Amber- who's still mumbling useless words as she suppressed smile halfly. She grabbed the latter's hand and asked, 

"Get up, Amber. It's surely the time for you to hit the bed,"