[CONTENTID1]Voice[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]

Kyungsoo didn’t mean to be weak. He didn’t mean to cut his wrist right next to his own little boy. He didn’t mean to give nightmare to the twins. He didn’t mean to make everyone panic. He didn’t mean to make Jongin cried.

But the small voice living inside his head keeps forcing him to do all that.

“You are not a good mother to Jongsoo nor are you a good wife to Jongin. You gave Jongin a deaf child when all he ever wanted was a son of his own. You failed Do Kyungsoo. Yes, I called you by your real name because you aren’t worth it to bring about the Park’s surname. Not like Baekhyun and Luhan who were able to give Chanyeol and Sehun twins; healthy twins that always bring laughter inside the mansion. You disgust and bring shame to this family and your own parents. Can’t you feel it? How disappointed your parents are to you? After all these years not seeing you and later to know that you, their only son who are only able to give birth to a deaf child. It’s not your brother who was supposed to die years ago Kyungsoo, it was you who deserved to die. You are a disgrace.”

Kyungsoo didn’t show it, how he was battling with that little voice living inside his head. He didn’t tell Jongin when the latter asked him if he’s okay. Kyungsoo keep his smile, not letting it vanish away from his face. Kyungsoo was doing a very great job hiding his true feeling from everyone. He was doing a very good job not showing how hard it was to battle with the voice that keep on saying that he’s not a good mother and not a good wife. The voice that keep on telling him to kill his own self.

“Just do it Kyungsoo. You’ve been fighting this since the first day you came home. Can’t you see? Jongsoo is much better without you. He didn’t even seek for you when he cried. He didn’t need you Kyungsoo. The others are doing so much better than you. You are a weakling. Even Sooyoung who is much younger than you can take care of Jongsoo better. Your son doesn’t need you and Jongin will find someone better to replace you. Believe me; you are doing everyone a favor for killing yourself. No one wants a weakling and failure like you. You failed as a son; you failed to defend your parents’ property, you failed as a wife; you failed to give Jongin a healthy child thus giving him sadness for the rest of his life, you failed as a mother; you failed to keep your son normal while being pregnant with him, you failed as a brother and a friend; remember how you failed in taking a good care of the boys? Resulting in them being kidnapped? And then how Baekhyun was shot because he’s protecting the boys? You can’t even do what Baekhyun did. it up Kyungsoo; YOU ARE A FAILURE! Just kill yourself already. They will be overjoyed the moment the doctor announces you are dead.”

Kyungsoo fought hard to keep his sanity with him. He tried hard not to follow the voice. But a person had only that much of trying and in the end, he truly fails.

He failed to fight the voice.

“That’s great Kyungsoo. You are doing a very good job. A little deeper, you need to place that blade right onto your blood vessel. There; just nice. Cut it deeper Kyungsoo. Remember, you wanted to die, if you didn’t cut deeper than that, you won’t die and you’ll be a double trouble to the people inside of this house. You don’t need to worry about Jongsoo. He’ll live a better life with his father and the others. Baekhyun and Luhan will do a much better job taking care and raising him without you being a disruption. Jongin will live a better life with another woman. He’ll marry the woman that he spends time with during your first honeymoon. Remember her? That’s you