Day 30.

You glanced at the wall calendar and felt a moment of utter panic run through your veins. You’ve always worked well under pressure but this time the pressure was both too far away to seem real and too impending for you to not feel anxiety. You cracked your neck then looked down at the large pile of books by your computer, each one waiting for your blood and tears to drip on them.

            You had been talking about how important this test was to you for months. But it had always been a distant dream. Now it was time for you to buckle down. You closed down all social media and told all your friends that you were going to be a hermit for the next thirty days. You started off filled with determination.

            At the end of the night, you had finished one lesson, with fourteen more left to go and felt a great sense of accomplishment. You confidently checked off the first box on your study schedule. Thirty days was going to fly by like this. You rolled your neck and winced when you heard the systematic cracking of your spine as you relieved it of pent up tension.

            There was a ding and you reached for your phone. There was a text from your boyfriend. End of Day 1! I hope you made it through. Here’s a small video from Singapore reminding you that the world awaits!

            You watched the short clip. Yongguk was waving in front of the famous lion statue. He was smiling brightly at you and the shot switched to a night scene. It must be one of the infinity pools. He was posing right by the edge and blew you a kiss.

            The small reminder that he was always thinking about you even when he was busy on tour made you smile. How did you get so lucky? You relayed the question to him through text and was relieved to hear the ping that showed he had received it and replied.

            You? Lucky? I think I should be asking that of myself. Are you done for the night? When you replied the affirmative, your phone lit up with a notification for a video chat.

Day 25.

It was simply amazing how soon the human mind can lose motivation. The drop off adrenaline was a nosedive and the haze of procrastination was a thick cloud that one could not find one’s way out of. You stared at the book, the black text blurring in front of you.

            What had started as a race in the beginning was now a turtle’s crawl, a dragging of your mental engines. You let out a sigh and placed your head on the heavy cream pages. Almost on cue, there was a new message flashing across your computer.

            Back in Korea! How is studying?

            Yongguk had respected your studying and kept mostly to himself, not messaging you to distract you. But he also seemed to have a knack for knowing just when you needed him the most.

            Not well. You were never shy to admit any fallacies to him. If there was anything Yongguk had taught you in your time dating, it was that it was okay to be human, to make mistakes as long as you took responsibility and learned.

            Burning out already? You could imagine the chuckle from behind his screen. How about this; if you finish the next lesson, you get a surprise.

            Nice try. But positive reinforcement has long stopped working.

            Good to know you learned something in psychology. I suppose not seeing me isn’t punishment enough, nor is not doing well? Does negative reinforcement not work as well?

            My tolerance for panic is now very, very high. Yongguk was always able to make you smile. You wiggled your fingers, and decided to make him proud of you. But because it’s you, I’m going to go offline now and study so I can get that surprise. When can I expect it?

            11:59. Study well, sweetheart.

            With much mental kicking and bursts of alternating motivation and procrastination, you managed to finish the problems. You allowed yourself a break to shower and eat before glancing at the time. It was 11:58.

            The next minute, your phone lit up with a call.

Day 19.

            You now had less than three weeks before your test. The panic was slowly becoming more conceivable. The deadline was no longer an abstract date in the distance. This was something that could spring upon you at any moment. You took in a few breaths. In the last week, you had gotten sick and fell behind. If you pulled a few extra long nights, you would be able to be back on track.

            You finished one lesson, and only needed to start another one for you to finally catch up. But your head was pounding. The entire time, you had kept your sickness to yourself because if goodness forbid Yongguk found out, he would be worrying incessantly.

            There was a knock on your door and you paused. It was ten at night. Who could it be? Your parents wouldn’t pop in unexpected. Your friends knew you weren’t seeing guests. Could it be Yongguk? Your heart skipped a few beats until you remembered he was currently in Japan. Was it an axe murderer? Better to not answer. You plugged in your headphones. Music can distract from the knocking.

            But you could hear that in addition to knocking, the person was also ringing your bell. “Goddamn,” you muttered. You grabbed your umbrella from the closet and peered through the peephole. It was a man. And he was wearing what looked like the uniform of an express shipping company. This was definitely how murderers tricked their victims.

            “Miss? There is a package for you from a Mr. Bang Yongguk.”

            You grabbed your phone. There was a text you had missed from two hours ago. There’s going to be a surprise coming soon!

            Reassured that this was not an act to get you killed, you opened the door, throwing the umbrella off to the side to avoid looking paranoid and silly. “Hello?”

            The young man looked relieved. “Oh thank goodness. I had strict instructions that I was not to leave until this was delivered. For a moment, I was worried I may have had to stay here all night.” His shoulders sagged with obvious gratefulness that you opened the door. “Please sign here.”

            You did and took the big package from him, but not without giving him a tip and thanking him profusely. “Next time you receive such instruction, check the mental sanity of the sender.” He cracked a smile at that and bid you good night.

            The box was heavy. You lugged it to your living room and sat down. Setting your camera on the table as a tripod, you started filming. “Bang Yongguk! You nearly gave me a scare, sending someone to my door this time at night. And you made the poor boy wait outside my door for a good ten minutes. But thank you, my love. I’m going to open the box now.”

            The box was carefully packaged, and you took your keys to stab the tape. In the box were more containers. One was a large collection of your favorite chocolates. There was also another basket filled with bath bombs and other soothing scent makers. Under those, Yongguk had sent you a couple of sweatshirts. When you lifted them to your nose, you smelled him and instantly fell into a state of utter comfort.

            You remembered the camera and gave a shy giggle. “Thank you. I’m going to wear them as I study.” There was also a small photobook and when you flipped through it, you saw selcas Yongguk had taken. Under each one, he had included the cutest boyfriend captions and you wrinkled your nose, trying to hide your emotions.

            The last page had a blank spot, and he had written, “Our first photo after your test and you’re back with me again.”

            You dabbed at your eyes. Blowing the camera a kiss, you knew you didn’t have to say much. Yongguk would understand. “Thank you.”

Day 10.

            You were furiously going through practice test after practice test. Each day you were sitting through two tests, with only time for a quick nap and a meal in between. Your brain was tired, your eyes were stinging and your fingers hurt. But with the test so close, you could only force yourself to march on.

            There were days when you could feel the drive slip. But the deadline rapidly approaching made you panic and so you forced yourself to continue. By the time night fell, your was numb from sitting all day and your back was hunched over.

            A quick nap wouldn’t hurt. Or maybe you should just sleep for the night. You inhaled deeply. Yongguk’s sweaters were rapidly diminishing of his scent; that was how often you wore them. How badly you wished you had your boyfriend with you. You stood and stretched, feeling your muscles ache from lack of use.

            Taking a shower didn’t seem like a bad idea, and you decided you were going to treat yourself to a long bubble bath, complete with candles and one of the lavender bath bombs. You were doing better and better on every practice test, and the consistency made you feel better. All you had to do was pull through another week and then it would be all over.

            You sat in the water until it started to turn lukewarm. Wrapping yourself in your towel, you stepped out of the bathroom only to have a small heart attack. Your bedroom door was slightly ajar. From the cracks, you saw evident hints of light. You didn’t remember going into your room before your shower.

            You padded slowly to the door, toothbrush in hand. A fight would be the perfect way to release the adrenaline. You pushed the door open and nearly dropped your towel in shock. The toothbrush certainly found its way to the floor.

            On your bed, dressed in a heather t-shirt, was your boyfriend. Yongguk peered out from under the blankets and smiled. “Hi babe. It took you long enough.” He winked and made a small finger heart at you. “I’ve been waiting.”

            “H-how, w-what? B-but?” You stared at him stupidly and Yongguk laughed. He sat up and flung his arms open.

            “Stop staring at me in that agape way and come here. I missed you.”

            You didn’t need a second invitation. You jumped onto the bed and ignored his yelp of protest as your wet hair dripped onto his body. You took in a deep inhale. “I thought I wouldn’t see you until after the test.”

            Yongguk chuckled and placed a kiss on your forehead. “I figured seeing me now would be a good energy balm to get you through the last few days.” He was the edge of your towel, his fingers running down your smooth skin.

            You lifted your head off his chest and pursed your lips. “Take me, oh gorgeous one.” Yongguk laughed and kissed you, the reverberating sound traveling down your body as he obeyed.

Day 1.

            You placed all your books in a neat stack and closed your eyes. Running your mind over the countless problems you had done in the last month, you felt a certain calm. It could be a calm before the storm, or the satisfied peace after weeks of preparation. No matter what happened, you had done your best.

            Arms came around you and you sank back into Yongguk’s embrace. “Come, let’s get you to sleep. You have a big day tomorrow.”

            You stood. “Do you think I’ll do okay?”

            The look Yongguk gave you almost had you crying. It was love, confidence and pride. “I think you’ll do your best, and that means you will succeed.”

            You tightened your hold around him. “I don’t know how I would have survived this madness without you.”

            He rested his cheek on your head. He didn’t need to say anything. His belief in you only added to your belief in yourself. Tomorrow would be a big day, and you were ready.

An anon requested this and it happened to so match my circumstances. WIth D-28 before the LSATs, I definitely needed this to kick myself into gear haha

Remember to all of you who are taking exams, you will all do the best you can ♥