No matter where you were, you could just feel him staring at you, it was as if his eyes were following you everywhere. It didn’t matter if you were in the canteen, having lunch or if you were having gym, his eyes were always pointing on you and you knew that you were never alone. And no you weren’t talking about Baekhyun because he didn’t have time for that, he had classes himself and he was busy so that was impossible. The person you were talking about was no one else than Jongdae and it was starting to annoy you just a little bit.

Only a few weeks before you still would have liked it to get some male attention, even if it had been Jongdae who had been staring at you. But right now it gave you a very wrong feeling and it made you feel worse and worse each second. He was staring at you as if you were the girls of his dreams and you were sitting here, pregnant from your teacher and knowing that his chances had completely disappeared.

For the last few days you had been wondering how you could tell especially Jongdae about everything that was going on without having to tell everyone about what was really going on. No one could know who was your boyfriend or who was the father of the baby growing in your stomach, besides, you didn’t even know if you want them to know already that you were pregnant.

Maybe you should keep that quiet for just a little longer, until you felt good about it yourself because at this moment it made you feel insecure. In a few months you would have a big belly and after that you would have to push a baby out of your own body and raise it. That was going to be a big step and you weren’t ready for it yet and you still had to prepare yourself a lot for everything that was about to come.

But the whole class the only thing you could think of and focus on were the eyes of Jongdae and those from Elena, who were both looking at you. You also knew that Hana and Sehun were staring because you were getting stared at and just like that it seemed as if everyone in the class room was looking at you. For your own safety you just stared down on your notes and tried to block everyone out of your thoughts so that you could hopefully focus on what your teacher said, but that was hard.

From time to time you looked down on the watch that was attached to your wrist, it seemed as if the seconds were going by much slower which was probably also because you were looking at your watch much too many times. It was a surprise to you that your teacher didn’t notice how no one was paying any attention to what he was saying. But after all he was probably just happy that for once he could give his class without getting annoying commands.

Thinking back in the time your thoughts got stuck at Elena and her action from just a while ago. What had she been thinking of the moment that she had come up to you and hug you like she had done. After it had been clear to you as if she had still been mad at you after everything had happened. She didn’t talk to you, nor did she even look at you, she only had attention for Hana and it had seemed as if your friendship had never existed.

Of course you couldn’t forget that she had been your best friend for a long time and you had known her for your whole life. With her you had made some very important memories, once that you would never be able to forget. Elena was a very important person to you and you had never thought that would change, but it seemed as if time had decided to change that. When you were little you had made a promise to each other that you would never grow apart, but that promise had already been broken.

It almost seemed as if she had put the first step to make things right again, as if she had done an effort and now it was your turn to just accept it and pretend as if nothing had happened and as if everything was better again. But the truth was that even if you would accept her apology then things still wouldn’t be normal again between the two of you, it wouldn’t change a thing anymore.

What had happened in between the two of you, wasn’t something that could just be shoved to the side. You had become wiser because of it, you had learned from it and even though you would probably make the same mistake again in the future for trusting the wrong people, right now you just wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t make that same mistake again with the same person.

Maybe that one day, somewhere far back in the future, if you’d ever meet again after this high school experience. You would be able to sit down and talk with each other like adults and be able to tell the truth to each other. Maybe then you’d be able to tell her that what you had been hiding for her had been too big to tell her and that it had never meant that you hadn’t trusted her.

You had never meant to shove her aside and you had never meant to make her feel left out. Before Baekhyun had come into your life you had used to tell her everything, no secret had been too big to keep it from her because you knew she wouldn’t tell those kind of things to anyone. Why you had told it to Yuri and not to her was still a big question for you, maybe you had felt from the beginning that something like this would happen in between the two of you?

But no matter what, you were convinced of the fact that you weren’t ready yet to let go of the pain she had caused you and the way she had almost made you buy two new phones in a period of one week. It had been the biggest drama you had ever been through in your teenage years and of course you knew that the bottom of this problem was that you and Hana couldn’t get along.

Somehow you realized that maybe it was just the best if the two of you made up, then everyone could be friends again and maybe then you’d even be able to give Sehun a place in your life again. But you didn’t feel as if it was your job to put the first step, after all she was the one who had tried to make your life miserable and who was still trying to do that, not planning to stop.

If you thought back of it some evenings, if you were lying in bed late at night, you realized how lucky you had been when she had been your best friend. You had been young, it had been a time of no worries and fears and you had had the biggest dreams back then. If back then someone would have told you what kind of you’d be going through at an older age you probably wouldn’t have believed them or you possibly would have killed yourself to change fate.

But here you were now, pregnant and carrying your teacher his child who had luckily for you not let you down after he had gotten to know all of this. With a best friend who was in love with you and who thought he still made a chance to win your heart and to have you by his side. And an enemy who had stolen your best friends who was now trying to get you back after she had heard that you had almost died, of course.

Could it be that it was because of that incident you had started to think differently about things, that you were able to see things from a different angle. Before all of this you never would have even suggested to yourself to think about making things up with a horrible person as Hana, but these life changing events could really change someone’s mind about everything that was going on at that moment. It made you realize that you had to make the best of your life now you had the chance to because it could be over before you’d even realize it.

After being so locked up in your own thoughts you hadn’t even realized that the bell had already rang and when you saw that everyone was already leaving you jumped off your chair, knocking your books all over the floor. With a low swear you kneeled down and began to collect all your papers that had fallen out from between your pages and which had almost flew away three rows in front of yours.

“I guess this is yours, you should watch over it next time. You wouldn’t want to lose your notes, after all I think you put lots of effort in them.”

Before you had looked up at the person who was offering you the rest of your papers and who had been so friendly to help you out, you already knew who it was. After all this time it was still a voice you would remember for a long time and the memories you had made with him last prom returned to you, it made that you didn’t know what to think about that whole situation.

“Thank Sehun but I think I’ll be able to carry about that by myself. Thanks anyway for helping me.”

That was probably the first time in ages that you had sincerely thanked him for helping you out with something. The smile that he shot over to you strangely enough couldn’t hit your heart anymore. People who said that a first love would be someone you’d never lose feelings for was apparently wrong. That statement didn’t seem to count if that first love had broken your heart before.

You raised from your crouched position and took the papers from his hands before you put them in between your book again and put that into your bad. Then the two of you just awkwardly stood there in silence because as well you as he didn’t know what to say. As far as you both knew you had to start going to your next class right now, since you had to go to Baekhyun’s class now and you had to leave.

“Would you mind if I walk you to class? We both have to go there anywhere so it would be a bot stupid if we’d separate now right?” Sehun said and you pouted your lips at him before nodding.

“Okay, I guess we can do that…”

It had been a very long time since Sehun had been this close to you without you screaming at him. Never had you thought that you’d ever be walking next to each other like this again without fighting with each other, or you fighting with him at least. But maybe this was the time for you to shove everything aside, the less things that would stress you out right now the healthier it made the whole situation for you and your baby.

While walking through the hallways together you had the longest normal going conversation with Sehun you had ever had with him since he had cheated on you. He asked you about what you wanted to study next year and with that you had answered him that you didn’t know yet and you had fired the question back. Because the truth was that you weren’t even sure if you would be able to go to college next year in your situation, but that wasn’t for him to know.

Together you arrived at the right class room and Sehun friendly held the door open for you so that you could walk in first. You could see Hana’s and Yuri’s big eyes pointing on the two of you but most importantly it was Baekhyun who was trying to hide his surprised look that worried you the most. The last thing you wanted to do now was creating more pieces, you only tried to glue them back together.

Without saying anything more to Sehun you went straight to your spot and you just grabbed your stuff and tried to concentrate, knowing that because of your last move you gained even more attention. That was another choice you had made since you knew you were pregnant, you were going to do more your best for school. You wanted to get good grades so that you could get another diploma in the future and make sure you had a good job so you could give your baby a good future.

It were all those small kind of things that made you realize that your life maybe wasn’t stable enough to raise this baby in it. But it also made you think that you had to try your hardest to change your life and to make sure that it was good enough to get this baby. It was going to ask lots of effort from your side but maybe you were ready to take that step, you were ready to become a grown up.

Baekhyun probably also noticed that something in your attitude had changed since the last time he had had you in his class. Different from the part of the year that had already passed, you asked questions if you didn’t understand something and you really wrote everything down that he told you about the subject. James who was sitting beside you also studied your frame, not understanding what you were doing since he knew you normally never studied like this.

When class as over you slowly packed your things, making sure not to drop anything again so that Sehun would find another excuse to talk to you again. Even though you hadn’t made eye contact with him since your hallway conversation he was still the last one to leave the room and his back was being followed by Baekhyun until he closed the door behind him. You knew that his next question was going to involve him, but you guess you owned him an explanation.

“Was he bothering you?” He asked, referring to Sehun.

“No, not really. I dropped my stuff and he helped me picking it up so since we were the last ones left in biology class we decided to walk here together, since it would have looked more stupid if we would have separated. I know this must sound weird to you…”

Baekhyun nodded his head but the frown that had been covering his forehead disappeared at the moment you had stopped talking. He slowly walked over to you and took place at the chair beside yours. After he had shoved it closer to yours he grabbed your hand and laid your intertwined hand in his lap. You enjoyed the feeling that flowed through your body when his thumb rubbed over the skin of your hand.

“So are you planning to make things up with Sehun? Does that mean you’re also going to make things up again with Elena and Hana?” He asked with a raised eyebrow and you shot him a glare.

“I would lie if I told you that I haven’t thought about it yet. But that doesn’t mean that I suddenly changed my mind about the fact that Hana has got to apologize first. I can’t chance the fact that Elena already hugged me to death this morning while she tried to make it up with me. But that doesn’t mean that I can just forget about it you know, it needs time.”

“Of course it does but you’re going into the right direction with this. And besides, I’ve noticed that you are really paying attention in my class, I’m very proud of you.”

You shot him a cheesy smile before you let out a big sigh and stood up from your seat. It was time for you to go home because you still had lots of homework to do and it was already late. This first day of school in a long time had made you tired and hungry, you just wanted to go home and eat and rest. It had been a weird day today and you had to get all your thoughts back on order, you would need a night for that.

“I’m going home now, are you coming with me or are you still staying behind?”

“Of course I’m coming with you, I have to look over you and my little baby…”