When you got home you were tired and you head a slight head ache. You had though so much about everything that had happened and finally you still hadn’t figured it out. You had thought that after giving it some more time you would be able to make your decision but it had only made it even harder for you. You were doubting so much and each time you thought you knew what you were going to do you found another reason to think about the opposite. 

You did know that after seeing Baekhyun with Kim songsaengnim a spark of  jealousy had began to burn inside of you. You hated it to see him with another girl, and definitely with one you were sure of that like him and wanted him. You couldn’t handle it but if it made it happy shouldn’t you just put your own feelings aside and let him fall for her, if that was what he really wanted?

You walk into the apartment and as you walk into the living room you see Baekhyun sitting on the couch, watching television. You know that you couldn’t be childish anymore so you would try and act normal against him. You smile at him and get a small nod in return as you put your stuff down on the table. He still wasn’t over the fact you had turned him down, that had to mean something right? It meant that he still wanted this, that he still cared.

“Don’t you have any work to do?” You asked him.

He looked up at you with a surprised expression. It was the first time the two of you would be having a normal conversation since that day at the mall. You had never talked to him about something like this after your fight. The only thing you had done till now was saying sorry and talking about his confession, but you thought that now was the right moment to give it a little twist.

Of course he wouldn’t expect this from your side anymore, not after you had let him down and after he had put you through all those things. But what could he do about it? He just had to be happy with the fact you still tried to act normal to him and still wanted to talk and live with him in the first place, that was already a whole something.

“No, I don’t have any test to correct today and actually I’m not really in the mood to do anything. I’m always working, I guess I’m taking today off.”

You nodded and began to unpack your things. He was right, he was always busy with being a teacher, sometimes a person had to relax a little, otherwise things would go wrong. You couldn’t work the whole time, that would cause too much stress. But it didn’t mean that if he wasn’t going to do anything that you also weren’t going to study. You on the other hand couldn’t let yourself take a break, you couldn’t afford that. These were your last chances to get better marks so you were going to grab them with both hands and hold onto them tightly.

After thinking about it you decided to take place on the chair that had a view on Baekhyun. He was still watching TV, just like he had been doing before you had walked it. He tried to show you as if you being here didn’t mean anything to him and he could just keep on doing whatever he was doing before you came in. You couldn’t help but staring at him and you only stopped when you saw his eyes pointing over at you.

You sighed before grabbing your pencil and telling yourself to focus. Looking at Baekhyun wasn’t going to help you solve this problem, it would only make him feel uncomfortable. Even though you two weren’t talking with each other the atmosphere was still heavy and awkward, as if you did want to talk with each other but no one knew how to begin, so nothing was being said at all.

No matter how hard you tried you couldn’t understand what was written gin your book. Maybe it was because you were in the same room as Baekhyun, or maybe because you had been spacing out in classes these days because you had had other things to worry about and now didn’t know what this was all about. You refused to admit that it was the second reason and read the question over again, what only made you even more frustrated.

You growled slightly and threw your pencil down before standing up and running off to the kitchen. Maybe it would help if you would take a break for a while, if your brains didn’t have to overwork themselves. You walked to the cabinets where you grabbed yourself a glass before searching for the water and pouring it into the glass. Without realizing it you swallowed it all in one go before returning to your place at the table.

You looked up when you saw Baekhyun’s eyes focus on you and raised your eyebrows at him. You knew what he was thinking, what he was waiting for, he was waiting for you to ask him for help. And even though your pride told you you couldn’t do that, you somehow knew that you’d have to. You couldn’t figure this out on your own or you would still be busy for a few hours. But asking him for help was also something that seemed to hurt you a bit, but you had no other choice.

“Baekhyun, would you mind helping me with this?” You mumbled and tried to ignore his face of victory.

“Of course I don’t. What is it you’re struggling with?”

He stood up from his place on the couch and walked over to you. Actually you still wanted to send him back and tell him to forget about it, but what did you have to lose? Baekhyun sat down beside you and pulled your book closer to him so it was lying in the middle and he could look at it. You pointed your eyes down and refused to look him in the eye while he studied your problem.

It made you nervous to be this close to him, and you had no idea why. Would you ask him about Kim songsaengnim? You actually didn’t want to know, what if you didn’t like the answer? But on the other side, if you didn’t ask you would never know. Why were there so many decisions you had to make these times and why were they all so complicated?

“If I explain this to you then you have to promise me that you’ll pay attention and won’t dream off like you are doing right now. I’m not in the mood to start over and over again today.”

You looked up at him and nodded, telling him that you would listen to what he would say. It was going to be hard for you to focus on this whole boring thing if you were this close to Baekhyun and while there were so many things going on in between the two of you and with yourself you actually had to think about and that would distract you instantly. But he was right, you had to try your best to pay attention.

As always he drew circles and underlined the most important things so you could focus on them and it was easier for you to follow everything he said. Each time he began at a new step he put a number in front of it and made sure the whole paper was looking structured. Your eyes fell on his hands that put that wonderful handwriting down on your sheet of paper.

“Focus Heeri.” He said as soon as he saw your look wandering away.

You groaned and leaned your chin in your hands while making sure your eyes wouldn’t fall close. Even though Baekhyun was explaining you everything it was still so boring. Why did you have to know all these things? It wasn’t like you were ever going to use it again in the future. You didn’t understand why there were people who actually wanted to know these things.

Baekhyun stopped talking and stared at you before laying down the pencil. You gave him a surprised look and he just shrugged and told you he was done. You blinked and noticed that you had missed a very big part once again. Why did this happen each time? Why couldn’t you just focus if you had to? Now you still didn’t know what to do and you also didn’t want to ask Baekhyun to explain it again.

You sighed before nodding and pretending like you understood. He chuckled, he already knew you by now and he knew you were faking this. You ignored him while reaching out for the pencil in order to try it again yourself but the pencil fell on the ground before you could even stop it. At first you just stared at it, wondering if you had to pick it up or not. Realizing you couldn’t go on without your pencil and you were too lazy to go and grab another one you bend down to take it.

“Aw!” You let out when your head hit something hard.

You heard Baekhyun grown across of you and assumed that it was his head that you had hit your against. You must say that he had a really hard head, because that truly did hurt. Why in heaven’s sake did he bend down in the first place? You were old enough to pick up your pencil by yourself. If he had just done nothing than this wouldn’t have happened.

You rubbed over the bump that was already forming on top of your head and moved it up so that you cloud glare at him and scold him for doing this. You met Baekhyun’s apologetic eyes when you had found them and your heart seemed to skip a beat. You instantly forgot why you had been angry at him for in the first place and your mad expression fell.

You had never been this close to him before, this close that you could see your own reflection in his eyes, that you could feel his breath on your face, that you could smell his shampoo and his perfume. A blush traveled over your face as you thought about your own reaction but you also noticed that he also looked a little stiff. You were probably also having the same effect on him.

He took away your breath and your hands were becoming a little sweaty. The pain you had been feeling at your head was gone right the same second and your pencil was already long forgotten by now. The only thing you could still see was Baekhyun. You tried very hard to get a hold of yourself again but it was much harder than you had expected.

Baekhyun’s heart was doing the same as your in his body and he could barely restrain himself. He wasn’t sure of what to do now, of what he could do and of what you would let him do. But he knew that this would probably be his one and only chance and that meant he had to grab it with both hands, and that was what he was going to do now.

You felt him grab your hands which were lying into your lap. You had no idea if it was because he didn’t want you to run away or for other reasons. But before you had the chance to ask him about it you couldn’t talk anymore. You gasped when two plump, soft lips landed on top of your own, making them warm and making you taste them. Your fingers formed fists as your eyes widened in surprise and you began to pull your hands out of his, trying to get away.

But it made that he only pressed his lips even harder on yours and held you tighter. You watched his expression, seeing his eyes shut. Something inside of you just clicked at that moment, it was as if everything seemed to fall onto its place. You stopped struggling against his hold and relaxed against his lips. Ever so slowly your eyes fell close and you kissed him back.

Baekhyun noticed the change that went through you and also was now able to relax now that he knew you didn’t want to push him away anymore. Feeling him pull away your hands shot up to the collar of his shirt to pull him back, you didn’t feel like stopping just yet. Baekhyun was surprised by your sudden enthusiasm but didn’t complain at all. He leaned closer to you and snuggled his arm around your waist.

Afraid to fall of your chair you pushed him back and climbed on top of him. He was catching his breath with a lost look on his face before it changed into one of self-confidence. His arms wrapped themselves around your lower back to pull you against his chest while your twirled around his neck. There was no more stopping now, now that you had started you couldn’t help but want all of him.

Without waiting for him you slammed your lips against his and heard him groan softly. Your fingers grabbed a fist full of his soft hair as your lips moved in sync. The kiss was passionate and you couldn’t seem to get enough from it, but you had to breath if you ever wanted to do this again. You felt his head move forward when yours moved backwards and a kiss sound was heard when you loosened your lips from his.

You both breathed hard and caught your breath as you tried to figure out what had just happened. None of you knew what to say at first, and an awkward silence was taking over you two. Your time was up, it was now that you had to decide and this answer would be your final one. There would be no more turning back after this, now what was it going to be?