You stared at him in pure awe while you repeated the sentence he had just said inside of you head. He said he liked you, he even said he loved you. You couldn’t believe it, he had finally said it, but were you happy with the fact he had said it? Now that everything was going on in between the two of you was it okay for you to figure this out?

You stood there in front of each other, not saying a thing and just looking each other in the eye. He was waiting for you to say something but actually you didn’t know what you had to say. Maybe you loved him, but you were so angry at him for what he had done. You couldn’t give him an answer now because you didn’t know if what you would say right now would be what you truly felt or just what you felt at this moment.

Before you could change your mind you turned around again and smashed the door into his face, leaving him on the other side once again. He was shocked and blinked his eyes a few times as he realized what had just happened, you had truly just slammed the door in his face.

“I can’t Baekhyun, please, you have to understand. Just…Give me a bit more time.”

Baekhyun’s mouth opened and a small beep came out before he closed it again. He had tried his best to tell you this, he had used all his courage to confess to you in this situation and still you said you didn’t know. Of course he understood, but he was still disappointed. He had expected things to turn now, that it would get all better, but he had thought wrong. You weren’t ready for this yet, not after what he had done and he would have to accept that.

“…Sure…Yes, I understand. I’m sorry for saying that all of a sudden, I didn’t mean to startle you or anything.” He mumbled but leaned his head against the door with his eyes closed.

You bit your lip but didn’t say anything. Some part of you wanted to say that you forgave him completely and that you just had to do this, but a bigger part of you couldn’t do that. He had hurt you, had misused your trust and he had to win that back before you would be able to go any further with him.

You silently groaned and hit the back of your head against the wall. Now you could no longer be angry at him, now that you knew this everything had changed. How could you still hate him if he had told you he loved you and if there was a possibility you also loved him? The thing you had to do now was figure out your own feelings so that you could give him an answer.

Of course you knew that your answer had been stupid, that wasn’t what he had wanted to hear now. But you didn’t want him to think that everything could be solved this easily. If he thought that a confession would make up for what he had done than he was wrong, but he was already making a huge improvement.

“Just…I’m sorry! I think it’s better if you just leave me alone for a while. I really need to think about this and stuff. It’s not like I’m not flattered but…Just leave please.” You mumbled.

If there was one think you hoped for than it was that he would understand why you said this. After all he knew that he had been wrong so he also had to get that this was all such a surprise for you. After what he had done you hadn’t expected him to like you, you hadn’t expect that it would ever turn out like this in between the two of you, then otherwise would he do something like that?

Baekhyun sighed at the other side but he knew he had nothing he could say on this. He couldn’t force you to forget what happened and to forgive, he couldn’t tell you to open the door and to let him in and totally not to accept his words and to start a relationship with him, not if you didn’t know if you were ready for it. It was a big risk and now…He had just messes it up and he hated himself for that.

“Okay, I’ll just go now. If you need anything I’ll be in the living room.”

You focused on the sound of his footsteps fading away until the only thing that you still heard was silence. You shook your head while walking over to the bed that seemed very invitingly right now and climbed on top of it. You had to clear your mind and to sort everything out, that was the only way to solve this whole drama.

Did you like Baekhyun? Yes, of course you did. Well, you hadn’t really been the best friend in the beginning of this whole story, but who would be if their parents would set them up together and tell them that they had to get married and live together while they knew they were student and teacher and actually couldn’t be doing something like that. No one would be jumping from happiness with the biggest smile on their face, that was completely normal.

But after you had gotten to know him a little better you thought he was a good guy. He always took care of you and he could be kind of funny if he tried, or didn’t try. Now if you had to choose you would rather stay with him than going back to your old situation which was living with Elena or living with your parents. Living with Baekhyun was much more fun actually.

He was an adult and he sometimes treated you like one too. He could teach you and help you with your school work, since you lived with him your grades had become much better and you felt much smarter which was good for your self-system. Now you had also gotten to know who were your real friends and who weren’t, many things had happened now you knew Baekhyun like this.

But there were also some bad things about this whole situation. Because if you would decide to forgive him and to accept his confession than you would never be able to have a normal relationship with that man. There would always be things that would be standing in the way and it would never be able to do things like other couples did.

Just to give an example, you couldn’t go shopping together or go on a date, what had happened last time was a good prove of that. You couldn’t go anywhere together because if you walked into someone who you knew one of you would have to hide yourself because they couldn’t see the two of you together. If they would, you would get in some serious trouble.

Baekhyun would always be a teacher in the first place. He always had to work and always had to do things that adults had to do, he had so many responsibilities. You were young and wanted to be free and careless. You didn’t want to worry about all those little things and you also didn’t want someone who would always tell you to study and get good grades. You were scared that one day that would cause trouble in between you two, you couldn’t act like him yet, you were just too young, you still had a whole life ahead of you to make mistakes and do silly things.

It wasn’t like you weren’t ready for a relationship but you had only had 1 boyfriend before. was it smart for you to dive into this relationship like a crazy person without knowing what love should actually feel like? You had never kissed a boy before while Baekhyun had probably already had a million girlfriend and he was good in those kind of things. He would probably laugh at you for being that stupid and for being this unexperienced. Wouldn’t it be better for you to have a few more small relationships before thinking about one that would last forever?

You didn’t know what a girlfriend had to do for her boyfriend. Okay, you would cuddle with him and be there for him if he wanted you to be and things like that. But you actually didn’t have a clue about what Baekhyun expected his girlfriend to do for him or to be like. What did he need you to do for him and what did he wanted you to mean to him? You just felt so insecure when you thought about love.

You moaned and began to hit your pillow. You were so frustrated and this was when you realized you couldn’t go on like this anymore. You couldn’t keep this to yourself no longer and figure everything out all lone while you had no idea what to do. You needed someone who would listen to you and give their meaning about all of this.

But who could you talk to? Elena was no longer an option, you didn’t want to talk to her and she didn’t want to listen to you so that was a big no. James was not the perfect guy to talk about relationships, he knew just as much about it as you did and it made him feel awkward. Baekhyun was the guy this dilemma was about so he couldn’t play either. Was there still someone left for you?

You reached out for your phone that was lying on the nightstand beside the bed. Now you were happy that Baekhyun had stopped you from throwing it because otherwise you couldn’t make this call and you would still be nowhere. You dialed the number you had had in mind and held the phone next to your ear while staring at the ceiling and waiting for that person to pick up.

“Hello?” You heard a female voice say.

You took a deep breath before you began to speak. This was a really hard thing for you, you just had no idea how to start. Sometimes it was easier to talk to a person you didn’t know very well, but even though you didn’t know each other for long yet you still had this feeling that she was the one, she was the one who was going to help you through this.

“Hey Yuri, it’s ________-ah. Are you doing something right now? I was actually looking for someone to talk to, I have so much going on and I just need to get it off my chest.”

“Of course you can talk to me! You know you can always trust me about anything right? Come on, let it all go and tell me what’s wrong.”

You smiled slightly when you heard the worry in her voice and were so happy that she was there for you even though she only knew you for a few days, still it felt as if you had known her for your whole life. You heard how she went to sit down because she had already figured out this was going to be a long and complicated story, which was totally right.

“Okay, but it’s really weird and everything and it’s wrong…”

“It’s okay, it doesn’t matter. I can handle things and if you need help I will give you that. Now start, you can take as much time as you want, Luhan is in the shower and he won’t be back for the next hour.”

You told her the whole story, yes everything. You told her where it had started, told her your whole family history and even told her his name, yes you did say it was about Baekhyun. You told her about Sehun, Hana and Elena, about what had happened and about Baekhyun’s confession. And all that time you talked Yuri just listened and sometimes just made a sound to let you know she was still listening.

When you were ready and stopped talking it stayed silent on the other side of the line and for a second you thought she had hung up on you. Which you would completely understand since this was too insane for words. But after a while she began to talk again and you were surprised that she was that calm.

“So if I get it right you almost have a relationship with Byun songsaeng… I mean Baekhyun… And Hana ruined things for you two just like she had done with Sehun after she stole Elena from you. And now you and Baekhyun are fighting and he confessed to you so now you don’t know what to do?”

“Yes. That is exactly what I told you but only that is a really short version of my much too long and complicated one.” You said and she giggled.

“Now what do you think I should do? I mean, I like Baekhyun but it’s so much of a risk and after what he did…”

“I’ll tell you what I think, and I don’t tell you that you have to follow my advice. I think that you shouldn’t let Hana win once again. That already took away your ex and your best friend from you, don’t let her ruin everything. Yes, Baekhyun was wrong but he said he was sorry and he knows he was wrong. Don’t you see that Hana is doing this on purpose to see you unhappy? If you like him than go for it, that is my advice for you.”

You sighed and actually this only made you even more confused. You thanked her before hanging up and sitting up in bed. Yes you liked him, but you just couldn’t do it. You weren’t strong enough, you were weak and probably you were going to blame yourself for this for the rest of your life but that would be something you would have to live with, you were a stupid person after all.

You jumped off the bed and for the first time since Baekhyun’s confession you got out of the room. It was already late now and maybe he would already be asleep, but you would have to wake him up than. You made your way into the living room and saw Baekhyun sitting straight in the couch with his pajama’s on. He looked sad somehow, but you didn’t let it get to your heart. He looked up at you with a surprised look when he saw you but you spoke before he could say anything.

“I’m sorry Baekhyun, but I can’t do this. I can’t love you…” 

A/N : Its okay for you to hate me now ;p But I'll be back with more surprises!