“Are you sure I shouldn’t come to get you? I mean, it’s not a big deal and it’s what friends do after all. Your parents must be busy so, and you shouldn’t be afraid to ask me to do it, I would love to…”

“Hey, Jongdae. For the hundreds time, my parents don’t mind taking me home, they suggested to come get me themselves. Besides, I love the fact that they want to do that because that means they want to make some time for me. I’m so thankful that you care about me so much but I’ll be fine by myself. You can come visit me any time you want okay, and please do visit me because I’ll be so lonely.”

“Ohh, trust me, I’ll come visit you do often that you’ll get tired of seeing my perfect face. Besides, I bet that James and Kai and Luhan and Yuri would also love to come and visit you from time to time so you won’t have any time to feel lonely.”

A smile covered your face while listening to his words, he sounded so sincere and excited about this whole thing and you didn’t even know how to think about it yourself. At this moment you didn’t know if you had to be happy that they would all come along so many times or if you should be annoyed by the fact that you couldn’t be alone by yourself so you had some time to think.

It was hard sometimes, to keep your thoughts and mind with it if there were people over who were there to see you but you actually wanted to be alone. You would always come over as if you were in a bad mood or you would seem y, but that would never be your intention. It was just that your own thoughts made you frown, like you were doing at this exact moment while looking at the floor of your room, trying to get your thought sorted out.

It had been such a long time since your parents had still come to get you from school or anything you had gone to. It seemed as if the hospital was a place that did made them feel responsible enough that they should come to pick you up. Was this what it needed for them to realize that you were their only child and that they could lose you much faster than they could realize?

Was this going to become the moment that they’d become over caring parents who would worry about you all the time and would want to go on trips with you, take pictures of you at every occasion and insist that you’d call them each time you planned to go out after school so that they knew where you were and that you were safe?

That had actually been the only thing you had liked about the fact that your parents had been so busy with their work and so distant from you and that was that you had so much freedom, that you could do anything without having to worry about the fact that you’d get grounded for not listening to your parents or for making them worry about you.

But all of those things you had disliked about their busy lives, getting the love of parents, taking family pictures, having dinner all together, celebrating birthdays together and freaking them out about the fact that you were old enough to have and that it could actually happen. For you it was much more important to get back the things you had missed out on than to keep the things you could do now.

Ever since you had been smart enough to realize what you had been missing you had wanted your family to be like every normal one where the parents would just make some time for their kid and were not always busy with their jobs. Even though you were also smart enough to understand that a job was important because otherwise there was no money.

But the fact that your parents were this obsessed with their career and with making money made you see that money wasn’t the most important thing in life. Things like friendship and love were much more important than any of those things that your parents had and you didn’t understand that they hadn’t made that up themselves yet and didn’t miss having that in their lives.

“Honey, we’re here! Are you ready to finally go home?”

You looked up when your mother walked into the room and you smiled at her with a little nod. Your dad walked right behind her, a cloudy expression on his face while grabbing your suit case that was standing at the other side of the room. It felt good to have them here, it felt good to know that you could finally go home and that this would all be over soon.

“Can you walk by yourself or should we help you? The doctor told us that you can still be weak because you have been lying down for so long and that you can still be in some pain so it’s normal if you need help, you shouldn’t mind about it.”

But you just shook your head and told them that you’d be fine. The last thing you wanted now that you were finally able to get out of here was that you were going to be babied, you had been taking care of yourself for all this time and you were still able to do this after everything that had happened. You were even convinced that because of the whole Baekhyun situation you had become more mature and more of an adult and you’d be even more able to care about yourself.

Slowly you raised from the bed and at first stepping seemed quite hard, because it was something you hadn’t done for a while now. You had always been in a wheeler chair if you had gone outside so it was hard to suddenly do it by yourself again, but it felt nice. When you reached the end of the hall your doctor who had been treating you for the past week waved goodbye at you and wished you the best, and then you finally walked out of the hospital.

It was a great feeling, knowing that you were free again and that you wouldn’t have to come back for a while until you had your first checkup. At this moment you just wanted to go back to the life you had been living in the beginning and forget about all the that had happened. And even though you knew thing would never be totally the same again, it was good to know that it would get better from now on.

But it wasn’t a secret that there wasn’t a day that went by that you didn’t think of Baekhyun, wondering what he was doing, and how he was feeling about this all. After all you had been living with him for a while, you had been through a lot together and you had gotten a band with him. You had loved him, if you didn’t even still love him, so it was hard to just leave everything behind and move on, even though it was for the best.

What you had feeling when you had been with Baekhyun, what you had felt towards him, it was something you had never felt in your entire life before. Even Sehun hadn’t been able to give you such kind of feeling and he had been your very first love. All if that just made you realize that your relationship with Baekhyun wasn’t something you could just throw away in the trash ban and start with the next one.

Your feelings for Baekhyun went much deeper than that and they were hurt, hurt because they knew that you would never allow yourself to feel like that again, because you wouldn’t allow yourself to get back together with Baekhyun very soon. The memories about the bad things that had happened in between you overpowered the good once and they made that you could impossibly go back to the way it was before, even if you wanted to.

The walk to the car seemed longer than normal, would he know that you were getting out of the hospital today? Was he also thinking about coming to pick you up, or coming to visit you to see if you were okay? Was he thinking about you just as much as you thought of him and did he miss you just as much as you missed him?

You knew it was your own fault, after all he had come to you and you had sent him away. Maybe if you had said yes back then and he had been able to explain everything would be back to where it was again and you had already forgiven him. But it was this moment that you had to stay strong and you had to distance yourself from what your heart was trying to tell you, it was time to use your head for once.

“Oh and sweetie, we called with Baekhyun a few days ago and we made very clear to him that after everything that happened we can’t give him our daughter anymore. We can’t let our little girl marry someone who makes her run in front of cars right? So don’t worry about him anymore, the marriage is canceled and from now on you can just move on and find someone you really love and marry him if the time comes.”

Your face fell as your fingers grabbed the handle of the car door even harder, making your fingers turn white. You had completely forgotten that the plan after all of this had been for the two of you to get married eventually and it felt weird to hear your parents say that it was all canceled. A few months ago you would have been happy to hear that, but at this moment you didn’t know how it had to make you feel.

After all from now on it was that you and Baekhyun had no reasons to still see each other or to even talk to each other and you didn’t know if that was what you wanted. This marriage had caused that you had always had to make things up and try again, but this time there was no reason for you to try again, there would be no use for that.

But you faked a smile while turning to your mom and giving her a hug, which she answered warmly which took some of the pain you felt away. Maybe the warmth and love you’d get from your parents and friends would be able to replace Baekhyun’s, maybe it all wouldn’t be as bad as you’d think…Maybe…

“Thanks mom…” You whispered, but you didn’t know if you meant it.