The next morning you felt like , it had been since the time that you had been that ill that you had felt like this. But this time you weren’t physically sick but emotionally, your heart felt as if it was about to burst. It felt so heavy and broken that you didn’t want to have it anymore and you wanted to rip it out of your chest in the hope that the pain would go away.

With a little puff you turned over in bed and stared at the ceiling as if it was interesting and as if something could appear on it any second. But instead of that a new load of tears filled your tears and you threw your arm over your eyes to make them stop flowing. You had already been crying for the whole night and you had barely slept, until you had fallen asleep from exhaustion. You were so tired of crying by now but it just couldn’t be helped, the tears kept on falling.

Each time you closed your eyes you could see Baekhyun’s angry face and that was not something you wanted to be reminded of. Even after the night had passed you still didn’t know what you had done or said to make him that pissed. As far as you know everything you had said was the truth and maybe he just couldn’t handle with the fact that he was wrong. But you wanted to know what had made him do all of this.

Of course you did understand that he was a teacher and that he had to do his job well so he could stay one. And you also knew that with being a teacher there was helping students who had troubles with his class and that he had to tutor them if he could. But you were a hundred percent convinced that Hana didn’t need help with her English lecture at all and that she knew everything about it, she only wanted to spend time with Baekhyun and steal him away from you.

Never you would forget how you had trusted her with your own life and how you had done everything for her when you had been friends. You and Hana had been inseparable and you always used to do everything together, because she had been your best friend and because you had loved her. Wasn’t that how it was supposed to be between best friends, supporting each other and only wanting the best for each other?

But when you had gotten your first boyfriend Sehun, who you had already had a huge crush on for months back then, everything had changed. She had felt as if she had been replaced by Sehun even though that had never been the case and you had never meant to make her feel that way. She had grown more distant to you and you had done less things with each other what had made you feel very sad, but you had searched comfort with Sehun who had made you feel loved again.

It was only a few weeks after that you had walked into that room at a party of one of your friends who was celebrating her birthday. It was as if it had only happened yesterday, that was how well you could remember it. There had been many people in her house and at first you hadn’t wanted to go, but Hana, who had suddenly began to talk to you again had convinced you to come. And because you were so naïve and stupid and happy that your best friend was finally talking to you again you had gone, but you had regretted that for a really long time.

So the house had been filled with people and you had gone all by yourself because all your friends had already been there. Because you had felt a bit lost and lonely you had texted Hana to ask her where she was, and she had let you know that. Happily you had walked over to the bedroom upstairs, of which you had already thought that was a weird place for her to be. When you had opened the door you had seen that she wasn’t alone and at first you had been happy for her that she was finally with a boy. But then you had seen who the boy was, and that it was your boy.

Your face had dropped and because of your entrance the two had broken their passionate make out session to look at you, you who has already been in tears at that moment. Hana her eyes had not even shown sympathy or regret for one second as she had dusted herself off and had walked out of the room past you without saying a single word to you. Sehun hadn’t known what to say at first but he had then just bluntly broken up with you and had told you that he liked Hana instead.

Then he had also left to go on with the party and you had been left behind in the door opening of the room which had caused your heart to get crushed. That day was one you would never forget again and it was something that you just couldn’t forgive. Sometimes you wished you had never gone to the party and you wouldn’t have known that Sehun had cheated on you, because then maybe this wouldn’t hurt so bad.

With everything you had said to Baekhyun yesterday you hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings or to make him believe that you couldn’t live with his job. The only thing you had been trying to do last evening was protecting your own heart from going to that same pain once more because you were sure that you couldn’t handle that again. It was a pain that had suffocated you and that had almost killed you and it had taken you a very long time to get rid of it.

The reason why you hated Hana was only because you knew what kind of pain she had caused you and because you knew she would do it again if she ever had the chance to. And why? Because you had had a boyfriend before she had one and because she might have liked Sehun too? It wasn’t your fault that she had never told you about that and so you hadn’t hesitated when Sehun had asked you to date him. It was all just so unfair that no one could understand your side of this horrible story.

Blinded by your arm you led your hand to the nightstand where you had left your bow with tissues, which was already half empty because you had been crying for so long already. You pulled one out and wiped your eyes before blowing your nose and throwing it to the side again. Your eyes were burning from the salty water that had been dropping out of your eyes and your cheeks were red and felt sticky. Your nose was hurting because of the fabric from the tissues and it was irritated.

For you those were enough reasons to not to go to school today and to just stay home. It wasn’t like you were going to be very useful there at this moment anyway. The only thing you could do right now was cry and whine, because you didn’t really have a reason to smile. Besides, you really didn’t want to see Hana right now because then dangerous things would happen. You hadn’t forgotten how she had called your boyfriend ‘oppa’ yesterday.

A sob came out of your throat as you thought about that, even you barely called him like that because you still thought it was embarrassing and you didn’t want it to get a habit. If you would get used by calling him with that name you would also say it at school and then people would find out about your relationship and that still wasn’t what you wanted. Were you still even able to call what was going on between Baekhyun and you a relationship?

For the last few days the only thing you had been doing was fighting, yelling at each other, making up and then start all over again. But this time you didn’t know how it was going to end, would you actually make up again? He had seemed pretty mad yesterday and this was already the second say you were crying like hell and were feeling like and honestly you were tired of that. Before you had been together with Baekhyun you had never felt that way and look at you now.

A knock on the door brought you back to the real world and made your thoughts stop. Knowing it could only be one person you flipped over on your mattress so your back was upwards and your face was hid in the pillow. The last thing you wanted right now was that he would see your horrible and swollen face because you didn’t want him to think you were weak. You suddenly remembered that you had never heard him coming back home last night…

While staying as silent and still as possible you heard how the door opened and closed again, he was in and probably only here for one reason. His footsteps resounded through the extremely quiet room and you felt the mattress go down beside you, telling you that he had sat down and that he was looking at you. You tried to breath steady, hoping that he would believe that you were still asleep and he would leave you alone.

“I know you’re awake, I’ve heard you. Please Heeri-ah, I think we both realize we need to talk and I need you for that. So would you please turn around at least a little so I can speak to you.”

Instead of answering him you just shook your head and stayed in the same position. If you would turn around only just a little then he would already see how hard you had cried and in how much pain you were and you didn’t want that. He could also talk to you like this if he wanted to do this so badly at this second. You heard him sigh before he gave in and started talking.

“I know I’ve been very harsh to you yesterday but I didn’t think I crossed the line in that. I just want to make you clear that my job is everything to me and that I can’t push Hana to the side because you had had a small problem with her in the past…” This was when you did turn around to him.

“Do you even here what you’re saying? A small problem? You don’t even have a single idea about what happened between me and her so how do you dare to tell that it’s a small problem? Do you think that if it was only a small problem that I would react like that? I’m not the kind of girl who tries to ruin your career so if it wasn’t truly necessary I would never try to hold you away from her.”

Baekhyun bit his lip as he saw your tear strained face and saw you hiccup to get some air. You looked like a mess and he knew that it was partly his fault, but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t understand your point of view and he was mad that you couldn’t understand his. He just wanted to help her and she needed help, that wasn’t so hard to get right?

If she’s having a hard time with English then it’s my job to help her, I’m getting paid to do that…”

“You’re getting paid to do that during your ing hours of school and not in our apartment. She doesn’t belong to be here and it’s not my fault we almost got caught but yours. You could have called me and said that she was still here but of course then you didn’t have to think that I was still coming home that night.”

He sighed and shook his head, in this way he could talk to you and he realized that wasn’t going to get better any time soon. He needed some time to think and to breath, just like you did because you were both angry and frustrated. In this was things could impossibly work out in between the two of you and you both knew it.

“I think it’s better if we take a break Heeri-ah, we can’t go on like this. Before things can get real you’ll first have to get over your hate for Hana or the thought that she’s up to something.” He mumbled sadly.

You angrily threw a pillow to his head which surprised him because he hadn’t seen your attack coming at all. New sobs escaped from your through and even more tears came out even though you hadn’t thought that was still possible. He made this seem as if it was all because of you and you felt so bad because of it. This relationship couldn’t work out and it was your fault.

“I hate you Byun Baekhyun! Leave me the hell alone!”