Hi guys, I'm so sorry for the late update even I don't know you're noticing or not. However, I've made this chapter a bit longer as a sign of my forgiveness to you guys..(LOL)

So, hope you enjoy, :D

I push the door of the room open before slowly getting inside. A while ago, I just finished talking to the doctor and seem like his condition already in stable and we just have only to wait for him to conscious and apparently, the doctor didn't tell me much about him. I just shrug it off and didn't ever dare to utter anything afterward.

I've called his parents, informing to them about what had happened to their son since I hold his phone at the moment. I think the best way is letting his parents to take over all of this, because there is something I’ve been thinking of. The thing that makes me cried a while ago. It’s serious thing that I should handle it in an instant.

Also, I’ve called my mother too, didn’t want her to be worried about me.

After a few step, I stop in my track. My eyes slowly lands to the unconscious body in the bed.  His current clothes already gone somewhere as been replaced with new one. On his stomach has been wrapped with a huge bandage around it, probably covering the deep cut he got there.  For a moment,  my eyes narrow in sadness as the guilt feeling begins to run over me gradually.

I gather some courage then breathe out slowly. At the end, I force myself to approach his bed. Every step I take making me more nervous and uneasy. Once I reach the side of his bed, his pale face quickly greet my sight. I don’t know, should I blame mysefl for making him become like this or not? but at the same time, I didn’t find the clear point too about that since this is just happen without anyone expects.

“M-Myungso” I found my voice can’t reach to my throat. I shut my eyes for a moment then open it again along with a deep breath “I’m sorry”

I look down at his figure, biting my lip hardly. There, of course no response come out from him as been replaced with only the sound of the machine around the silent room.

“I mean.. I’m really sorry” I’m starting to doubt what is sorry truly for. It‘s too obvious not about he got injured or what but it’s about us. The situation we are definitely in now.

“Out of all the people..” I pause, staring right in his sleeping face. “Why me.. ? why must you choose me?”

Then, I press my lip together. Pondering back against those words for some quite time. I think that’s kind of the question shouldn’t be asked. Like, really, the thing called love will come without someone know. So, yeah. I have to understand that too. I mean, I’ve been almost in the same situation as him, loving someone who doesn’t love you back. Bluntly, That’s just a normal thing to be heard.

But, also, there is hard to go through it. It’s really hard and hurt to be honest..

Sighing, my eyes slowly shift to his hand as I notice a tiny tube that connected to the back of his palm. Unknowing, my tears flow down to my cheek as the feeling of the quilt grow up ever more inside me. I feel bad now, really bad. See, I even didn’t dare to touch his hand at the moment. It’s don’t come out on my face a expression of care to him either.  My heart resist me as well and I almost hate it.

Thinking about how much he has put a huge effort to win my heart, has make me breaking down slowly. It just sounds no right. I shouldn’t do that and apparently the way I acted has given him a false hope. I’m starting to regret.

“I-l can’t love you, Myungsoo.. I’m sorry” I speak with an uneven tone.  Daehyun’s face immediately appears in my mind unwillingly before I throw it off.

“I feel bad to you now, I-I even didn’t cry for you.. ” I bring up my hand up and touch my own tear in the corner of my eye. “This tears means nothing to you, because I’m not crying for you.” I could tell if someone reads my face, they must think I don’t have the slightest of sympathy to him. Nope, and it should be considered how horrible I am.

“Why must you love someone like me? just..  why?”  I murmur as softly look at the liquid of my tear in my finger before glancing again to his unmoving figure. His chest raises up and down in peaceful and he seems more comfortable as if he is sleeping in his own bed. Perhaps, the medicine he took giving him effect.

For a moment, I let my hand fall to the side then breathe out slowly. “I’ll make you forget me, and..” I pause, shutting my eyes for a second.

“The best way is.. stay away from you” Suddenly I spit with more confidence this time as I blink the tear away. Yeah, that’s all I’ve been thinking a while ago. It’s that only thing I could think all the time. I don’t want thing to becomes worse and make me feel regret at the end. Giving him a false hope is totally wrong.

I shift forward and bravely pull the cover up over his body until it reach his shoulders. A cold air around the room, instantly sending me a bit shiver down my body. I take a deep breath. “Good night.. I mean good bye”

This is would be the last time we meet cause from now on I’ll try my best to avoid you, probably run out from your life either.

.....

It’s been a week since the accident that night accurred. Throughout this week, has made me change completely. Apparently, I’m lack of smiling and sometime I would space out with my own world. I’m just not myself anymore. it’s all because of the two guys who run into my life.

Bluntly, I’ve changed a lot and had once when youngjae and youngmi mentioned it to me about it. Like always, I would rather remain silent than admit it to them. At the end, I left them with worried completely written on their face.

However, there is something suffocating me a bit and it’s about Daehyun. He is being odd lately. Sure, he still didn’t talk to me again but whenever we meet, he would definitely set his eye on me. long, until I feel  myself uneasy with that deep stare of him however I always try my best to ignore it and act like I don’t know about it.

I decided that I don’t want to care about him again. I don’t want to look at his handsome face. I don’t want to hear his husky voice. Also, I don’t  want to know anything about him. I just want to back to my old self, when I don’t know a single thing about him. I mean when I don’t really interesting to get into his life. Trust me, I never once thought to get involved with him before. Like, I just let him be.. and constantly letting me assumed him as a playboy and believe all the rumor about it without bothering to find the truth. Yeah, I really want to do that. So badly. But I know, it’s already late. There is possible to turn back.

The teacher immediately dismissed the class when the bell ring around the air, I make a small sigh before pack up my book into my bag. Before I could even get up from my seat, Youngmi’s face quickly greet my sight when she calmly stand beside the frame of my classroom door. She gestures her hand to me when our eyes meet, asking me to come over. I force myself to smile to her before slowly approaches in her direction.

Then, both of us quietly walk down to the hallway, heading to the canteen.

Secretly, Youngmi lets out a small sigh when she simply notice that I’m still being the same even since a week ago. Quiet and helpless.

When she tried to talk to me, I’m only give her a short answer or sometime, a weak nod or shaking my head to her. Until she gives up on me and don’t have a mood anymore to talk to me any further.

After some walk, we finally reach the canteen. The room around the canteen a bit crowded with students and they seem impatient to eat their meal as if the food will run away from them. Me and Youngmi quickly make our way to get the food, then upon the tray completely in our hand, we observe around, searching for the empty place for us.

But there are already full and has been taken by the other students anyway.

“Where are we going to sit?” Youngmi starts to speak in confuse while her eye glance around. She lets out a grunt in irritated afterward.

“I don’t know,”I simply mutter to her while mirror her. We both stand there like the statues for a few minutes.

“Ah there!” Youngmi yells abruptly, snapping me up. I look up immediately before follow her gaze. For a moment, my face change instantly due to the sight. Inside of my heart already scream in horrify but outside, I only press my lip together. Before I have a change to say something, Youngmi previously dashes forward which is leaving me behind, quickly approaches their spot.

My eyes immediately enlarges but then become softened again as I make a heavy sigh. Obediently, I force my feet to follow her step. Once I arrived there, the whole of my body rigid by itself. Youngmi already having a seat beside his brother and for a moment she glances up to me.

“Come here” She pats the spot next to her, asking me to sit down. I snap up when her voice greet my ear as I meet her eye immediately. She gives me a tiny smile to the way I’d space out again before shaking her head. Youngjae and his friends, including Daehyun already set their eye on me, waiting for some response comes out from me.

But there are nope, instead..

I bite down my lower lip then slowly takes a seat beside Youngmi. I can tell, all of bap members try hardly to greet me but seen my gloomy face, making them completely shut their mouth. I stare down at my meal in front of me then begin to eat in silent. To be honest, their stare a bit uncomfortable me but I ignore it.

At last, they just let me be as they continue eating their meal while talking some random stuff.  I make a small sigh of relief and at the some point, the reason, I’m a bit hesitate a while ago, it’s all because of Jung Daehyun. He actually sits opposite with me which make me most uneasy but I can’t even utter anything about it.

As soon as I’m having my meal, I could feel Daehyun’s eye still didn’t left on me. He even stops eating his meal. I don’t know since the beginning he is being like this, that’s why I don’t really fond when Youngmi decided to join this group because I know he would do that odd attitude of him that I don’t even know where is they come from.

What he does is staring, staring and staring as if I’m some kind of diamond.

No, I bet he is trying to read me and studying me. the way he satres at me, telling everything.

I have enough of him and I can’t stand it anymore. I’m in beginning to forget everything but he has ruinned it with his confusing stare which I don’t understand at all. Here, my heart shakes again due to his action and I hate it.

I firmly put down my chopstick beside my plate,

 “What are you staring at?!” I burst out as I raise up my head, facing him. My gaze straight up meet his eye in furious. For a moment, the atmosphere become quiet due to my sudden voice. I have made everyone on the table completely shut their mouth and not to mention they are totally shocked with my outburst. The air around us tense up instantly.

Bluntly, I thought he would flinch there and immediately run his eye away from me but I’m utterly wrong. Guess what, he just takes the opportunity to study me more because my eye finally meet his.That’s what he wanted from the beginning.

“Kyungmi, a-are you ok?” Youngmi suddenly interrupts us as her face show a slight worry. I still didn’t drop my gaze from him and so do him. For a moment, I feel Youngmi’s hand softly rubs my back which make me soften a bit. At the end, I let out a very heavy breath before breaking our eye contact. I calm myself for a moment.

“I’m sorry” I mutter. Instead of answering her question I just apologize. I shut my eye for a second before looking down at my meal again.

To be honest, I’m tired

I’m really tired because all of this. Yeah, that’s all I could describe myself at this situation. Seem like the feeling of guilt against Myungsoo aren’t gone yet when the other thought begins appear to me. There is the reason why I seem unhappy during this week. The thought about him still hospitalize make me feel bad and insecure, bluntly I want to visit him for the rest of he is in the hospital, but at the same time I’ve decided to not meet him again. So here, I am, being trapped by this kind of situation. Plus, with odd Jung Daehyun who suddenly mess my head with his action.

Here, Jung Daehyun. He’s confusing me again.

....

After a few days, I notice Myungsoo finally back to the school and observeing the way he comes into the school today definitely assure me that he just recover from his wound. Despite the presence of him has given me a bit feeling of relief, I will still going to ignore him and I would constantly do that no matter what.

I’ve noticed this morning when Myungsoo enthusiastically tried to approach me but instantly got confused when I suddenly turn away from him. I can clearly see his obvious expression but I ignore it for my sake.

Also, when he gives me his tender smile, I quickly pretend like I didn’t see it instead I look around or talk with Youngmi.

I know, he is starting to feel weird with my attitude toward him but I only shrug it off. So, Technically, the rest of his first day after his recover has been ignoring by me.

I also do the same to Jung Daehyun and luckily I lack of encounter with him today.

Sighing, I just finished clear up my class since today is my day for it according to our classroom roster. I stretch up my sore body for a moment before scanning around the empty classroom. Since, I’ve been pair up with two guys, believe me, they already gone somewhere after the last period end and at the end, I have to make all by myself.

I clap both of my palm twice to throw the dust away before grabbing my bag. Clinging them over my shoulder then dash out from the classroom with heartless.

Once I out of the building school, I’ve been surprised by the person, when he suddenly grabs my wrist to spin me around. I gasp in surprise as his face greets in my sight. Before I could say anything, he immediately pulls me to follow him. but at the middle of that I manage to pull back my hand from his tight grip as I force my feet to stop.

“Myungsoo!” I yell at him. He turns around and stunned me with his dark stare all of sudden. I quickly swallow down my saliva in fright because this is my first time to see him like this.

I slightly frown and before I could utter anything he grabs my wrist again “Follow me”

I didn’t struggle anymore instead follow his feet wherever he drags me. I glance at the back of his head and then for a moment we reach to his car. He opens the door of the car and before he could force me to get in, I quickly pulls my hand again.

“Where do you want to take me?”I blink a little in puzzle while standing near the car.

“We need to talk” He tries to shove me inside again but I hold the door immediately, looking up to meet his eye.

“No, there is nothing for us to talk” I insistly say and about to escape from him. he grits his teeth as quickly slam his hand on either side of me which trapping me as well, preventing me to go anywhere. I gasp at him once due to his unusual action.

“M-myungs-“ I pause as shut my eye for a second, “Fine..”

I turn around and slowly get into his car through the passenger seat. his lip almost curls into a smile but he prevent it. He nods his head then gently shut the door back before run around the car to go to driver seat.

I press my lip together while my heart pounding in uneasy inside. For the rest of we are in the car, no one between us say anything. Sometime, I would glance to him and not even once but for quite several times. The air in small space of the car a bit tense to the quietness.

“W-where are we going?” Finally I bravely ask him, noticing I don’t have any idea where is he taking me away. He stays froze on his seat while calming drive the car off. I shift a little when I see his free hand abruptly pulls his tie of his uniform to loose it, before placing again down to the steering.

He seems don’t want to answer me and left me with clueless. I make a heavy sigh then eventually throws my gaze out of the window.

About a few minutes, I feel a car has been pulled off at somewhere. I straighten my body then peek outside to find that we are now at the unfamiliar lake. My eyebrow furrow in weird but at the same time I do notice the lake quite beautiful and calm. It seems this lake not many people know since this place pretty silence.

I snap from my thought when Myungsoo swing the door open before stepping out of the car. I follow his figure with my gaze. He didn’t open the door for me as I expect instead he saunters forward, then stop right in front of the lake.

I breathe out secretly. bluntly, I never understand why I let him bring me here while I’ve promised myself not to give him a slight chance. I don’t want to make him misconceive and I want him to forget me in a kind way.

I bite down my bottom lip then slowly open the door beside me, taking another breath before pushing up myself to get out of the car. After the door shut close, I stay froze beside the car, didn’t dare to approach him.

 “Why are you avoiding me, kyungmi?” He suddenly voice up, having his back toward me. his eye glued down to the surface of the lake.

I quietly press my lips together, refusing to talk. I feel my throat go dry all of sudden as no word come out from my mouth. Slowly, I lower my head down, letting the cold wind softly brush my  cheek. For a moment, he hisses on his spot, probably piss off when nothing response come out of me.

He runs his finger through his dark hair before eventually turn around, facing me. I don’t know what is running through his head at the moment when all I see throught him completely mess. I notice he slowly approaches me then less than one minute, he already stands right in front of me.

“What are you trying to do?” He breathes out, I immediately raise up my head, shooting my gaze to his eyes.

“Tell me, what is your the point to avoid me?” He takes one step forward toward me. I swallow hard my saliva while stepping a back a little and since I near with a car, my back immediately hits them. Secretly, I try study him and his eye is telling me that I’m in danger, probably I’ve tested him patient with my current action against him.

Afraid of his stare, I gather myself to say something“I-I....” but I shut my mouth again when I don’t feel anything would come out. Giving up, he smirks at me, almost judging me.

“You still didn’t answer my question yet that night” He changes the topic all of a sudden by saying something I didn’t expected at all. But somehow, I think those are still not cross the line. I mean, the topic still the same. I remain silent again and before I know, he surprisingly brings his palm up as press them to my right cheek.

I instantly flinch at his brave skinship, I don’t know why but the part of me begin to feel terror. It makes me feel uncomfortable at all. This is no right anyway.

“Do you still love Jung Daehyun?” He tenderly brushes his thumb over my cheek, getting me a little goosebumps. I shut my eye for a moment as my heart strongly pounding as if they would jump out from my chest. To be honest, I shiver in fear.

Back then, he suddenly shifts his gaze down to my lip and I notice it. I bite my inner cheek in uneasy.

“Hm? I’m still waiting, kyungmi” He startled me with his voice, knowing that he wants my answer right here right now. He removes his gaze away from my lip then stare at my eye again with those dark unreadable obrs.

I breathe out and decide to just answer him eventually, so that with my exact answer he would completely drop his hope to me, I suppose.

I take some breath and confidently open my mouth “Ye-“

But before I could finish my simple answer he quickly cuts me off by crushing his lips against mine. My eye wide at his unexpected action. For a moment, I try to push him away by using both of my palm against his chest, but those aren’t help me at all when he suddenly grabs both of my wrists before pinning them on the car behind me, placing each side of my head.

He deepens the kiss while I’m trying hard to squirm from his grip, asking to get free. I squeeze my eye hard as I feel my tear flow down to my cheek. At the moment, Daehyun’s name immediately greet my mind. I know, it might sounds ridiculous but I  really wish he were here to help me.

For my sake, suddenly someone come out from nowhere and separate us. I open my eyes upon noticing nothing on my lip any longer. With my teary eye, I look down and figure out Myungsoo already lied on the ground while groaning in pain. I shift my eye to the person who just punch Myungsoo a while ago.

“Y-youngjae” I start to cry again, feeling relief when his figure greets my sight. I think I’m weak anough until I automatically slide down on the ground while leaning my back to the car. Youngjae gives me a quick glance and all of sudden his eyes flare in anger, he shift his eye and shooting right to the male on the ground rather than me. He clenchs his fist and in the blink of an eyes, he scoots to Myungsoo then begin throw his fist again to him.

I shut my eye for a second before something hit me. I quickly push away myself up then forcibly approach them. I try to grab Youngjae away but he seems didn’t budge at all.

“Stop Youngjae, please stop!” I yank his hand again to make him let go of his collar. Youngjae shoots me a glance while slowly release his collar.

“What Kyungmi? Stay back, I want to give him some lesson” He is about to beat him up again but I speedly hug his back to prevent him to go forward.

“No, Stop.. He just recover from his injury” I tightly my hand against him and soon, I hear he lets out a loud grunt. He slowly turns around then furrow his eyebrow to me. I know he is trying to figure out to my word. Well, he’s still doesn’t know that Myungsoo have been stabbed on the stomach.

I just lightly shake my head to him “Please, bring me home”

I weary look at him then step a back a little. Youngjae can’t help but nod his head eventually, even he face shows slightly confused on this situation.

before Youngjae lead me to his car, I take a moment to look at Myungsoo. I secretly inhale then let out a deep breath while narrow my eye to him. “I'm disappointed with you, Myungsoo..”

....

In the car, I weep hardly against my knee while hugging them tightly. I just couldn’t believe what just happened to me a while ago. That’s truly hurt me. I’m really mean it, when I said I was disappointed with him. I couln’t bear anything with what he had done to me. I hate him!

Youngjae quietly bites his bottom lip while glancing over me with some kind of sympathy. He makes a small sigh before turning in front again, focusing on driving.

I slowly lift up my head, staring blankly at the dashboard. The thought of he was kissing me, instantly playing in my mind. I secretly clench down my fist in fury and Youngjae could feel the atmosphere of his car slowly tense up but he choose to ingore it.

Suddenly I punch the window beside me which make Youngjae’s flinch in surprise. His eyes wide almost in unbelievable and before he could blink any futher, I punch again the window with full of my heart.

“Hey, Stop doing that!” Youngjae finally spits out and at the same time he is trying to concentrate on his driving.

“You’re breaking my ca- I mean, you’re hurting your knuckle, you know!” he adds, glancing once to me again. I grunt and stop punching the window of his car immediately before turning in front again. Youngjae secretly sighs in relief when I eventually obey him.

“I hate him, I hate him. Youngjae, he stole my first kiss!!! How dare he do that to me!!” I burst out all of sudden, hardly scrubing my lips with my hand in disgusting then I slam my face to my knee again. I start to cry. I don’t know but at some point, I hate myself for not be able to save my first kiss to someone I love.

“Kyungmi” Youngjae suddenly calls me with his light voice. I ignore him while continuing sob in my spot.

“Hey, Calm down” He sounds worryingly in his voice. I know, he’s trying to suppress my  emotions but still, I didn’t budge at all nor look up at him. I found myself couldn’t be able to calm at this situation, I just need at least some time to relieve me. From here, I can catch Youngjae lets out a deep sigh beside me, probably give up.

“Look Kyungmi, I don’t think he is the one who stole your first kiss” He slowly mutters, I quickly lift up my head then tilt in his direction, frowning.

“What do you mean?” I ask in confused. I observe him with my dark eye when he shifts a little in his seat. He shakes his head then turning to look at me again.

“I’ll take you to my house, okay” He didn’t answer me but changing the topic right away. I remain silent in my seat then secretly suspicious him.