Flackback

“Hey, I wonder, is he watching the moon right now? The same moon that I’m watching tonight. I really hope he does the same like me, staring at the same moon although our place is different.” I murmur beneath my breath with a small smile on my face. 

There was silent again on the other line. A frown started to draw on my face, when no word has come into his mouth yet. Only his breath could be heard.

'Is he already falling asleep?'

I keep my phone away from my ear to take a look on the screen, wanting to make sure that the line still on. it was still on as Daehyun's name was still showing on the screen. I put back the phone near my ear and decide to bid a goodnight at him.

I opened my mouth but Deahyun had cut me off and make me pressed my lips together instantly. His words such was shocking me as well. I don't have any idea what should've I say to him next. his words are something yet confusing.

"This is crazy" 

Then, he hangs up the phone, letting me wondering alone.

End of the flashback.

"Crazy? he was talking about what? What is crazy?" I mumble in confusion. The thought about his word last night keeps on lingering in my mind. I walk through the hallway corridor of the school, heading to my classroom.

Today, Daehyun's behavior quite strange. I've noticed, since this morning he keeps on ignoring me for no reason. When I tried to talk with him, he just gives me only one word and then become silent again. Seems like something is up with him but I can't recognize what it is yet. It's really hard to understand him and I end up just let him be with his weird behavior.

I make a heavy sigh then look ahead. Try to focus on my walk, but stop when I spot L is sitting alone on the bench where is placed near the canteen.

I narrow my eyes, looking at his direction by the side of him. The guilty starts to wash over me when I see his figure. His determination for trying to get my attention, make me feel a bit overwhelmed. I bite my lower lip.

Just as I'm about to look away, he turns his head to the left then spot me who is standing not really far away from his seat. Automatically, Our eyes lock into each other for a moment before he slowly gives me a warm smile. I froze in my spot, feeling embarrassed for being caught by him.

The way his smile never fade on his face, I hesitantly give him a smile as a return. It's not a fake smile but sincere and real one. I know I've never given him a slight chance once and I never welcome him into my life. I might not have any feelings for him but it's doesn't mean he can't be my friend.

The soft smile on his face make my feet slowly walk toward him without any my intention. I couldn't believe that I walk toward people who I'm trying my best to avoid it. It feels like my brain is completely separated from my body. 

Knowing my presence, L  shifts a little to give some space for me to having a seat beside him. He lightly pat down the bench. I smile again then obediently sit beside him.

"I thought you will walk away after seeing me" L start the conversation, sound like joking. 

I make a face at his statement. "I'm not that cruel. I still have a heart." I grit my teeth. he laughs, amusing.

"You know, your kindness make me like you even more" He honestly confesses. I bite my bottom lip, trying not to show my panic face. His words send me the shiver down my spines but not as strong as Daehyun's. 

I remain silent.

"L, how about we be friend?" I bluntly ask after the long silence between us. L lifts his head up then turning his head to my side, a frown starts to show across his handsome face.

"What do you mean?" he asks me back, staring into my eyes deeper.

I run my eyes away, avoiding his stare. "Well, I never assume you as my friend but the stranger. It's worse, right?" I bluntly state, shyly. he nods his head in understanding. 

"Yeah, you are, I can see it." he casually admits. I let out a soft giggle.

"So.." I let my sentence hanging, raising my eyebrows at him, wanting his answer.

"What if I don't want?" He suddenly asks.

He doesn't give me the room to answer instead, he begins to talk again "You do know I like you. It's not right to be friend with someone I really love. It's can be worse and it's not might as well for you but for me. This status probably can kill me slowly." He confesses again in a sad tone.

It's hard for me to breath right now after hearing his honesty. I feel bad for making him hurt. Seriously, I never understand love.

"Why you have to love me?" It's slip off through my mouth unexpectedly, staring into his face questioning.

"Why do I love you? I don't know either" he shrugs "I tried to find the answer of the question but failed. I've been saying that magical word to the girls for many times and now I've felt it but not for them, It's for you. Only you. This is new feeling that I've even felt in my entire life. it's coming like the wind into my heart. I couldn't see it but I can feel it." He calmly tells me.

I bite my bottom lip again, thinking of something. He looks at me, kind of waiting for my response.

“Alright..” I stand from my seat and look down to his face.

“If you say so" I inhale "then, we don’t have to be friend, I’ll be constantly avoid and ignore you, No.. we will pretend like we never see each other. Better?” I have no option anymore, seems like he doesn’t want to be my friend.

If this is the best for him, I’ll never complain it because I’m not too desperate either.

“bye!” I mutter then about to take a step forward but his action really fast as quickly catch my wrist, preventing me to walk off. I frown, looking down at him again.

He bites his bottom lip this time, debating with his own feelings. “Fine”

“Let’s be friend” He calmly states.

“Why..?” I ask him. He lets go of my hand then begin to speak “I bet you already know the main reason why I came to this school in the first place. If you keep avoiding me-”

“Let’s start all over again” I cut him off instantly, resting my beside him again, smiling

“Here, My name is Park Kyungmi and you?” I let out my right hand in front of him ready for a friendly handshake. His gaze goes to my hand before landing them on my face.

He scoffs, “Should I?” L raises his eyebrow.

I shrug to him. “Depend on you.”

His lips form into a smile after earning my casual answer. “I’m Myungsoo but call me L instead” He ends up reach his hand to me, playing along. We make a short handshake and then I quickly pull my hand back when I feel he tightly his grip against mine as if don’t want to let them go.

“Can I call you Myungsoo?” I innocently ask to him. He frowns “why?”

“Because I prefer your real name than your nickname” I bluntly answer. He waits for a second and hesitantly nods his head.

“Okay” He simply agrees.

There is another silence between us, Only the noise can be heard that coming from the Canteen. The students are having their lunch in the Canteen.

“Since I’m older than you, call me Oppa” Myungsoo demands as breaking our silent all of sudden.

“What?! Hell no!” I exclaim as my eye grows big. He bursts into laugh, amusing with my reaction. I hit his strong arm then pout on my seat, My lip curls upwards immediately. I look ahead, refuse to look at him at all.

His laugh slowly fades away. He looks at my pouting face while reaching his hand, gently put my stray hairs behind my ear, pushing my hair out of my face.

I’m startled by his brave action. I turn my head to face him again. Our eyes meet each other, he is staring deep into my eyes. We stay in this position for a moment.

Someone clicks his finger together in front of our closer faces. The click sound makes both of us quickly break our eyes contact. I look up and finding youngjae stands there with a smiling face.

“What are you guys doing?” He innocently asks. Youngjae glances at me, sending a stare that I never understand.

I shake my head, “Nothing” I mutter and the next thing I know, My heart starts beating so fast, pounding in my heart in a wild way when I see Daehyun’s figure behind Youngjae’s body who is already walking away.

The sight of him makes me hard to breath. I glance at Youngjae back “Ho-how long have you been here?” I mentally slap my mouth for becoming hella stutter.

“Not really long. We just walking pass by here and then accidentally saw you guys” He smiles again.

I swallow my saliva down the moment hearing the word of ‘we’. Did he see it?

“Well, I’m leaving now.” Youngjae exclaims and snapping back from my thought. He turns around then begin to run, chasing after his friend.

“Yah Daehyun, wait for me.. Aish!” He hisses while mumbling something under his breath.

“let’s go, I’ll take you to your class” Mungsoo’s voice echoes in the air. I look at him then give him a quick nod.

I shut my eyes for a moment before the heavy sigh leaving from my mouth ‘Why do I feel bother about his feelings?’

........

The sun hit my face through the closed window of my bedroom. I pull my blanket all over my body to cover me as well. I feel cold all of the sudden and my head hurt a lot like something heavy had stamped into my head hardly. I think I’m going to have a fever sooner or later.

Fortunately, Today is weekend. So, I don’t have to worry about going to school. I shift my body to make me feel more comfortable underneath my blanket. I think taking for some sleeps, can make me feel better.

“Honey, Wake up” My Mom peeks her head through the door, smiling. I weakly open my eyes while looking at the door direction. Her smile instantly gone when she saw my pale face. She approaches my bed.

“Mom, can you let me sleep a little more. I think I’m going to have a fever and I’m very tired to do anything right now” I whine like a five years old kid. My mom promptly shows her worried face.

“Okay” She hesitantly mutters than kissing the top of my forehead in concerned.

I softly hold her hand. “I’m going to be fine, don’t worry okay” I try to reassure her. She nods then walk off from my bedroom. I slowly close my eyes again and less than a minute I fall asleep.

....

I awake from my long sleep. I weakly get up and sit on my bed. My head feels even more hurt and make me realize that the sleep isn’t working for me at all. I have to take a painkiller to kill this headache that starting to control my whole head.

I push the blanket away, forcing myself to climb off the bed. I try to balance my body then walk to the bathroom. I could feel my body temperature heats up highly.

“Aish, I hate this!” I let out a loud grunt.

I get the first aid on the cabinet to take a painkiller and when I open the box, nope of painkiller could be found in it. I snort in silent.

“Where is all of them gone?”

I have no option instead go and get one at the nearby pharmacy. I let out a heavy sigh then decide to take a bath before going out.

I go downstairs then walk to the door, I manage mumble to my mom that I’m going out. I wrap my Hoodie around my body for making me feel warm a little. It’s taking me twenty minutes to go over there.

Soon, after I bought some painkillers. I walk to my home back. In the middle of my walk, My nose start to get red as I could feel a liquid is running down through my nose. I have to go home as soon as possible. I quickly shove my hand into my pockets of the Hoodie.

Right after I get home, I feel something weird as I quickly enter into my house . I‘m about to go upstairs but stop when I spot someone familiar in the living room.

I turn around. “What the hell are you doing here?!” I nearly shout, trying to control myself.

My father calmly stands from the couch then facing me. My mom runs to the living room when she heard my loud voice eacho around the house. Her face don’t show any shock expression from the sight of my father. I bet she already know his presence.

“I want to see you” He once again says in a calm way which make me want to slap him across of his old face.

“No, I don’t want to see you” I say in a rude tone. I take some breaths then heading to the stairs.

“We need to talk, daughter!” He exclaims when he saw me taking one step of the stair. I stop my movement.

“Don’t even call me your daughter!” I state without even wanting to face him.

I’m about to take another step again. “it’s about your boyfriend!”

I speechless.

I froze in my spot, donn’t quite believe what I’ve heard it. Immediately, I turn around and approaching him.

“What do you mean? I never have a boyfriend” I lie to him . I glance at him and for sure he gives me a slight smirk, knowing that I’m lying. Seeing his smirk make me grip the bag plastic of my medicine in my hand tightly.

“Daehyun, that is your boyfriend's name, right?” He says again. Hearing his name make me slip the bag plastic on the hard floor instantly.

“Ho-how did you know?” I become stutter. My father don’t answer instead he approaches me and slowly wraps his arm around me, hugging me. My mom just being observed on her spot.

“He has come to see me and then admitted that he is your boyfriend” He bluntly says to me. I bite my bottom lip, trying not to burst into tears.

“He.. he handed me the money too” he adds in a stammer voice. I gasp at his statement. I quickly push his body apart then give him a glance.

“..And you accept it?!” My chest starts to going up and down in anger. My father just gives me a quick nod as the answer.

I hit his chest for a few times. “I hate you, I HATE YOU!!” I scream the top of my lung then run out of my house, completely ignoring my mother who is calling out my name for a few times.

....

I arrive at someone's house, someone who I’m supposed to meet right now and this is my third time I come to his house.

Without waitting any minute, I roughly press the bell of the door. I can’t get enough with that as I knock the door either, impatiently. I’m too mad right now and has forgotten about the headache that I had earlier.

Just in time he appears behind the door with a frown is drawing into his handsome face, truly shocked by my sudden presence.

“What-“ He couldn’t finish his word when I slap him across his face. To my surprise, Daehyun don’t give any of response nor groan of the pain instead he gives me the serious stare as if shooting something into my eyes.

‘Is he a human?’

I don’t even care with his death stare and I bravely give him a stare too. I don’t want to show my weakness to him.

“You said I can’t mind of your business, so I did but what have I got? You just intervened inro my family's business!” I nearly yell in one breath and to be honest I feel ashamed when he finds out about my family. The background of my family that supposed to be no one should know.

“I don’t need your sympathy at all. Don’t even meet with my father again.” My voice starts to turn low.  I’m really tired and I don’t have a lot of energy anymore after I ran all over here.

I glance at him once before turning around, signaling that I'm done. I need to go home as soon as possible. But, when I’m about to take a step he quickly catches my wrist, making me face him back.

“What are you doing?” I hafl scream because of shocked. I look down at his hand onto mine and I can feel his grip is slowly getting tight. I try to pull my hand back but he is too strong as he squeezes my wrist ever more.

Suddenly he yanks me forward to him, which making my eyes open wide in surprise and the next thing, I scream when he lifts me up then throw me over his shoulder.

"What are you doing?! Put me down!!” I struggle against his arm, wanting to get free as I swing both of my hands and legs in protest.

“I said, put me down!!” He ignores my words, starting to climb the stairs one by one. I start to feel something in my heart as the negative thought begins to fill in my mind.

Right after we reached into his room, he quickly throws my body on his huge bed. I let out a groan in pain when my back violently touch the surfuce of his bed.

“Yah!” I shout but shut my mouth immediately when I notice his dark ork eyes. The fear starts to wash over me.

“A-are you out of your mind? I-I have to go home now” I bravely speak and at the same time I try to hide my fear face.

He suddenly scoffs. “Don’t you dare to move” standing seriously in front of his bed, staring down at me dangerously. Seriously I freak out! 

But I ignore it  and I don’t want to listen to him. He’s not jung Daehyun. I’m scared, really scare to dead. Why he is being like this all of sudden? is It about the slap I gave him earlier?

I quickly get up from lying then try to climb off the bed . However, he is too fast as he climbs into the bed and he pins me down back against the bed. I wide my eyes at the way he's on the top of me.

“YAH, let me go, Daehyun!” I scream then struggling under him. This time he quickly blocks my legs with his, preventing me to move any further.

“I said, don’t move. Didn’t I?” His husky voice echos again, closing to my ears. My eyes begin to tear up as I shake my head.

Suddenly Daehyun leans down into my face, closing the gap between us. My heart starts to flutter in cringe.

“Please.. let me go, Daehyun” I start to beg at him, my voice sound uneven as my tears pours down slowly. He stops right in front of my face and I can feel his warm breath on my nose. I quickly take this chance to sneak my hands against his chest to push him away but he stops me by gripping my hand instead.

Chu!

He presses his lip on my forehead. His sudden action startled me as well and I froze in my spot. I blink confusedly while my lips apart a little. I stare at him, frowning.

“Take a nap, you have a fever” He calmly states, instantly release my hand.  He climbs off the bed before heading to the door, without even glancing at me. For a few seconds, the sound of close door could be heard around the silent room.

“Stupid!” I immediately throw the pillow on the already closed door.

"Why doesn't he tell me straight to the point?  Do he need to do such a thing like that.!? Bloody ert!" #%$#@%*@

I roughly wipe my tears away with my palm, cursing him endlessly before lying down again. trying to calm myself, I pull the blanket up over my body then look up at the ceiling above me. The scent of his perfume welcomes my nose an instant as my eyes begin to become heavy and heavy. The last thing I know that I’m already in my dream.