"Because our rules is over now, you don't have to pretend to be my girlfriend anymore.." His word immediately penetrates straight to my heart as if the bullet of the gun. The tree I’ve been staring a while ago didn’t get any longer my interested as I slowly turn my head to him again which my eyes land to his eyes perfectly. I try to get the word process again over my brain but fail.

“W..what are you talking..I mean c..can you repeat again?” I found my voice already become irregular. I know his words was clear earlier but why I found so hard for me to understand. The nightmare that I’ve been scared last night has already come? is not it too soon?

I wait for him to speak again with my uneasy feeling inside of my heart. He bites his lower lip as my heart starts to flutter faster than usual. The words that will come out from his mouth surely confirming everything and will make me hurt badly. I scan his whole face as I only found his calm face.

“I said, You don’t have to pretend to be my girlfriend anymore..it’s over now, you’re finally free” He breathes out, begins to lose his confident than before. He quickly avoids my eyes when he sees my nope expression on my face, it’s a blank face.

My knee almost drops to the ground due his word, didn’t believe it. But he had said for twice already and it's possible for me to deny it. I take some air to control myself  a bit as I breathe in and out in silence. The day is finally coming, the day he will leave me without letting me prepare for it is finally coming and it’s exactly happened.

“W..why? why so sudden?” I bravely say right after the silence took over us for a few minutes. My question grabs his attention instantly as he looks at me back. His mouth apart as if he’d ready to give me the reason but soon he presses his lip together again, don’t know how to explain. The time he takes is killing me. I can tell inside of my heart already scream for his explanation.

“I think I need to give you live back, I can’t constantly ask you to pretend to be my girlfriend..” He pauses, as look at me who is already have my head down, staring at the ground. I try to hide my facial expression from him, which show a lot of sadness and painful against his statement.

“I..I suddenly realized this relationship has been bulkhead you to have a boyfriend,  a real boyfriend. I know it must be hard for you to be forced by this fake relation, right? You even can’t have any relationship with any guy you like when you have always stayed by my side all the time” He adds, I bite my lower lip, remembering I’ve mention once in front of him before but now it’s changed. I never want this fake relation end.

“But you don’t have to worry because I don’t need you anymore. There is no reason for me to to keep you for a long time and force you to pretend to be my girlfriend again.”He breaths out as if his problem has been solved after hardly struggle it.

 I grip down my skirt hardly, struggling for control. Each word that out from his mouth totally hurt me a lot as if my heart broke into a million of pieces. I can imagine the piece of my heart fell down one by one to the ground.

‘Why now, Daehyun? Why now? Why not before I like you?! Are you really planing this?!’ I mentally shout into my heart but didn’t even have brave to burst infront of him. My mouth completely locked by itself, knowing that, there is no use for me to protest anymore.

Daehyun is about to speak again as he opens his mouth. But before he could do so, I quickly cut him off.

“Oh I see, what should I say then.” I breathe out silently, unable to bear anything that will out from his mouth again. Finally, I raise my head up and flash him a big smile that I think I’m not supposed to do it. He a bit flinch by my unexpected reaction but eventually smile back to me, which make me more regret giving him a huge smile.

“Y..you..seem happy about that.” He admits as he stares at me with his narrow eyes.

‘I’m not! I'm not happy with it. How come you couldn’t compare it which one is real, which one is fake?!’ I shout again in my heart. All I do right now totally opposite with what my heart tell me to do. I supposed to cry not smile like this, forcing do a thing that not same with my heart at all. Thank you Daehyun, you have taught me how to be fake.

I become silent, didn’t even react to his word. knowing that he’s stupid enough for not knowing anything he supposed to know. Seeing my silence he begins to speak again.

“I’ve trapped you into this nonsense idea of mine when I know you shouldn’t deserve all of this.” He states then suddenly let out his right hand for me to make a handshake.  My eyes slowly land to his hand that already placed in front of me, waiting for me.

I hesitate reaching his hand with slow motion. When I feel my palm touch his, my heart is bleeding becuase I have to accept the fact that he actually let me go. Now, I’m not be able to take off my eyes from our connected hand and couldn’t face his face anymore. It’s hurt me like hell and at the same time I start to feel mad at Daehyun. The anger fill me due to his blindness against my heart, and my feelings.

“I always wanted to say this...You are really a kind girl, Park Kyungmi-shi” He confesses with a small smile on his bare face.

“Park..Park Kyungmi-shi? He even starts talking formal with me but we just end” I whisper in my heart, didn’t even believe what just I heard. he really planned this from the beginning, How come I’m not knowing?

“You are a jerk” I accidentally burst to him, but his expression didn’t show any surprised at all by my word instead his smile became widen. He nods his head.

“I know, that’s why you hate me” He casually states, as if those words isn’t giving him any impact inside of his heart.

 “No,you don’t know, I love you”

 He slowly lets go of my hand then start to step back, keeping his eyes on me.

 “You said I’ve to stay away from you one meter, and now you don’t have to worry about that again cause from now on I will stay away from you more than one meter.” He says again, letting out a light chuckle as if his word is funny but I didn’t find one. He turns his body around then begins to walk away leaving me behind.

‘That’s all?’

I watch the view of his back silently, no word come out from my mouth at the moment. For some reason, I hate myself because I still stand here watching him with the slight hope that he will turn back his body to me then tell me that it was just his joke then he’d laugh like crazy like he’d always do to me but it’s not happened when I see his figure start to disappear behind the wall like a wind.

“Okay, you should wake up now, Kyungmi. You are just in your dream” I mutter under my breath, curls my lip into a desperate smile. I shut my eyes tightly, hoping I will wake up from this dream. It’s not true, right? He didn’t come to me, right? I’m still his fake girlfriend, right?

Before I could able open my eyes back suddenly someone bump into me hardly from behind and make me fall forward to the ground. The male who ran into me a while ago fall along with me. He groans in pain beside me before quickly stands on his feet again. I shot my eye open and didn’t realize that my eye already been filled with tears. I grip the sand into my palm, when the reality hit me.

“I’m sorry” The male apologize when he notices I’m still on the ground, didn’t even bother to get up. He is about to touch my shoulder when I suddenly let out the sound of crying, bursting out the tears instantly. I don’t care anymore, all I want to do right now is cry, cry and cry. I want to let out everything I’ve been holding a while ago. I’m still a human who is allowed to cry whenever  I want. There is no way for me to endure it.

“That was real, that was absolutely real. He actually did. he leaves me”

The male seems panic when he saw me sobbing uncontrollable on the ground as if a five year old who was crying for the candy. he doesn’t have any idea why should he do right now. His face reveals a scared yet confused expression.

“Am I bump into her really hard? What am I supposed to do?” He mumbles on his spot before squatting in front of me. He hesitates  places his palm on my back, trying to calm me down by rub my back in circle.

“Please, Don’t cry..I..I’m sorry..did you hurt anywhere? you make me feel bad.” His voice sound uneven. The pictures of bumping into me is playing on his mind, he don’t sure if somebody bump into a girl could bring the girl burst into the tears easily.

Every his word, didn’t even get into my ear at all when I begin to raise my voice into a mess sob. The feeling of shame disappears immediately when the feeling of painful takes over me.

 Youngjae, who is coincidentally walk by seeing us as he rushes to our directions instantly.

“What is wrong Jimin? Are you creating a problem again?” Youngjae spit out right after he reached on our spot. He still didn’t notice me yet since I lower my head down but my sob could be heard in the air,completely loud. Youngjae starts to frown by the girl in front of him and he quickly shot Jimin with a death glance, signaling him to explain.

Jimin scratches his head in restless before standing on his feet again. He gives an innocent look to his classmate before open his mouth.

“I’m not, but the girl” He points his forefinger toward me. “I accidentally run into her but suddenly she cried like no more tomorrow, I’m already apologize to her but all she do is crying.” He breathes out, hoping his friend will believe him. Youngjae gives him a unsure glance before he kindly touch my shoulders, ignoring his classmate.

I quickly lift my head up and completely make Youngjae shocked when he saw my face. Even I look at him, my tears didn’t bother to stop from flowing.

“Kyungmi..” My name escape from his lips with big eyes.

“Wait? Do you know her?” Jimin who stand behind Youngjae strartled him by his voice. Youngjae back to his senses as his eye back to Jimin again, looking him over his shoulder.

“Yes, I know her, you can go now. I will handle her by myself” Youngjae says and try to convince him. Jimin seems a bit hesitate because he still feels guilt to me but eventually walk away leaving us alone. Youngjae looks at me again then kneel down in front of me.

“Are you okay?” Youngjae carefully asks, revealing his worried face.

I remain silent as hiccup begins to out from my mouth when I stop crying all of sudden. Youngjae’s question totally makes me feel secure but I’m not sure the meaning of his question. The way he looks at me with full of concerned, completely make me give in. He come to the right time wherever I need.

“No, I’m not okay, I’m not okay, Youngjae” I begins to cry again, covering my face with my palm, didn’t care anymore about the sand on my palm. I just can’t hold this anymore, this feeling completely rushing over me. His face starts to frown in confusion.

“Does it really hurt?” he seems like didn’t understand yet my situation as he asks about my condition instead, when he begins to scan all over my body only if I got any injured or anything during I fell down earlier. Seeing me cry make him in a confused state, wondering about how hurt I am, fell down on the ground until brought me into the tears.

“It’s hurt, really hurt” I reply him which make him once again wide his eyes. I don’t care anymore whether  he understands me or not, all I want to do right now is bursting out anything that stuck into my heart.

“What? This guy! I'm going to kill you Jimin!” He grits his teeth, saying under his breath. Youngjae clench his fist and about to stand up but I quickly grab his wrist, shaking my head rapidly. The tears roll down again into my cheeks.

“It’s not his fault, it’s all Daehyun faults. He is the one who hurts me...” My statement completely shocking the male, as his lip apart a little. He doesn’t have any idea what am I talking about because suddenly I bring up the name of his friend. He thought Jimin is the one into this situation but how come Daehyun come into this state all of sudden.

“Here..” I say as place my hand against my cover chest. “It’s really hurt, Youngjae. You said you don’t want me to get hurt but I already am.” I grip my chest, to show to him how painful I am right now, how suffer I am. Youngjae lets out a heavy sigh, as he begins to speak.

“Kyungmi, what are you talking about? I..I don’t get it” he pauses for a while “I mean, what just happened between you and Dae-”

“He just ended our fake relationship” I cut off his word, unable to hear he say his name at the moment.  Not to mention Youngjae’s eye become large already due to the new he just heard from me. If Youngjae was shocked like that, then I can tell I'm more shocked than him who is the main of the state.

“H..how come? We were just talking about that last night.” Youngjae found himself dumfounded,  didn’t believe that what he had said to me last night has occurred and He never expected that exactly happened so soon just like the way he wanted.

“T..that’s not make sense at all” Youngjae mutters, running his finger to his hair. His voice sounds uneven.

“Yes, it is. that’s not make sense but that is exactly the reality, Youngjae” I say in a vibrating voice. My dry eyes begin to wet again as the tears flowing down my cheeks, regretting everything. I don’t know why must I give my heart to him which was making me hurt in the end. I do already know this fake relation was totally not real but I’m too stubborn to not endure it.

“Youngjae-ah, what should I do? what should I do?” I sob again after of long silence, my shoulders start to move up and down due to my sob. I already lost like crazy person, when I have to face it. The fear begins to fill into me, the pictures he’d build the wall between us starting to haunt me gradually. He will see me as a stranger from now on. Just thought about that make my sob become more louder. Once again I’m embarrassing myself.

“I’m not ready, I’m not ready for that.. at least not now. How could he do this to me? How dare he playing with my heart like this?” I spit out, covering my face again. Youngjae stares down at me in helpless. He also doesn’t know the answer to my question either. He shifts his body come closer to me before slowly encircle his hand around my tiny body. He rests his chin on the top of my head, sighing. This is all he can do right now.

He could feel my hand wrap back around his body. He could feel how tight my embrace to him to show that how much I need someone right now. He could feel it how warm my tears against his skin but one thing he couldn’t feel it..

It’s my feeling. He really wishes he could feel the pain inside of my heart.

“Only if..” I grip in front of his shirt hardly as talk in the middle of my sob. “Only if I didn’t go to the park that day..I wouldn’t end up like this” I shut my eyes, remembering the first time I met him with a girl at the park. The picture of he casually admitted that I was his girlfriend in front of the girl still fresh in my mind.

“Only if..” I whisper with low voice. “Only if I didn’t accept his stupid request that day...I will be fine now” I spit out again.

“Only if-“

“Just let it go, Kyungmi..I will always there for you” Youngjae interrupts me as he softly my hair behind me in full of concerned. He doesn’t care anymore the tears of mine have been soaked all over his shirt. He just wants to be by my side and comfort me.

Hi, guys,. I'm back again..huhu

Btw I'm really sorry ,I don't know how to make angst, cause I found it's too difficult for me to express it. hehe.. at least I try my best, right?

I've tried to write as sad as possible but when I read it back this chapter, I feel nothing...WTH