After the conversation with Aecha, Chanyeol left and went to Hana like he had agreed with her through the phone. He was quite excited to hear the important thing that Hana wanted to tell him, but he also couldn’t help thinking about Aecha either. Something was really off with Aecha, and that made Chanyeol feel uneasy.

Chanyeol met up with Hana at the café shop. They talked about random things for a while, letting the mood settle in. Then Hana timidly asked him if he still wanted her to be his girlfriend. Chanyeol swore his heart nearly explored the moment she said that. Finally, after three long years, she agreed to be his girlfriend. All his efforts didn’t go down the drain. He had finally been able to date the girl he always dreamed of. So of course, there was no way in hell he would refuse her. Chanyeol eagerly agreed, nodding crazily with a satisfied smile on his face through the time they talked.

They parted ways after thirty minutes, setting a date after they had taken the entrance examination to get into university. For now, they wouldn’t contact each other and would focus on studying. The exams were important to them. Both of them were contented with this arrangement.

As soon as he waved Hana goodbye, Chanyeol had wanted to run to Aecha and told her his happy news. But then, he remembered her words, not meeting her in the next two days.

Well, he had to wait for two days then.

Chanyeol lay on his bed, thinking of random things. After the excitement of the news had died down, he got time to think about his day. Aecha also said she had something important to tell him. He wondered what was it? He also wanted to know it. He had been too hasty to accept Hana's invitation and ditched Aecha. Now that he thought about it thoroughly, he had treated Aecha badly that day. But, it would be alright, right? When he met her again, he just had to sweet-talk her and things would be normal.

Aecha would be with him no matter what; that was what Chanyeol believed.

===

Glancing at the letter lying on his desk, Chanyeol could feel his curiosity bubble up in him again. When he sat up, wanting to tear the envelope and read the content, Chanyeol remembered her saying, “Read it and I would never look at your face again.” Ok, ok, Chanyeol didn’t want Aecha to hate him. He would wait until the two agonizing days to end.

===

Two days passed and Chanyeol couldn’t do much thing. He couldn’t concentrate on studying when he hadn’t read Aecha's letter for him yet. It lay on his studying desk as if to make fun of him, taunting him to break his promise and read it. Beside his curiosity, his gut kept telling him that something would happen soon, and Chanyeol wouldn’t like it to happen.

On the night that the two days mark ended, Chanyeol couldn’t sleep. He was desperate to know what she had written for him and what was the important thing that she wanted to tell him. Now, Chanyeol regretted not hearing her out the other day, something in him was killing him as time passed. He had a feeling he would lost something important.

Tick tock, tick tock… The sound of his clock tickling was the only thing that could be heard in his silent room. It was midnight so everyone in his house was already asleep, but he was still awake. Chanyeol looked at the clock intently; five minutes more then he could open her letter. He had decided to stay up until past midnight to read the letter as soon as possible. He suddenly felt nervous, and a bit scared.

The time had come, Chanyeol shakily tore open the envelope and took the letter in his hand, reading it.

“Dear Chanyeol,

If you were holding this letter in your hands then it meant that my confession couldn’t reach you face to face. I bet you and Hana are dating now, right? Of course, you are. There is no way you would reject her. I already knew it, you needn’t tell me. About the news, I can’t say that I’m happy for you, because I’m not. If I said I am happy then I would be lying. However, I would still hope that you can be happy with her.

About the important thing that I wanted to tell you, I guess it’s no point saying it now, but I still want to let you know about my feelings for you.

The day we first met, do you remember it? I still remember it clearly as if it just happened yesterday. We met on a bus, the one that I would take every time I had the chance, in hope of meeting you on it again. We also talked for the first time there, and you probably didn’t know it but the shinny smile you showed me that day had made me like you.

At first, I just wanted to keep it as my high school crush, kept it for myself. I didn’t really want to like you, because I know I won’t ever have you, but my heart just wouldn’t listen to me. I have fallen for you even before I know it.

You also made it hard for me not to love you. You were by my side all the time. You made me smile, you made me cry, you made me feel the things I have never felt before. The way you treated me, it made me believe that you cared for me, that maybe… you also liked me. But I guess, we were just good friends, you did care for me but not in that way I hope.

I was stupid at that time. I thought that being near you would satisfy my selfish heart. I thought I could control my feelings. But I guess not. The more I was near you the more I fell for you. What I was afraid of really comes true, I have fallen for you, too deep.

It was also your fault, why were you so nice to me? You acted as if you liked me. You gave me hope, and I hoped for more. Then you treated me coldly, I didn’t like it. As confusing as the way you treated me is, I still found myself fall for you even more.

When you were pursuing your love, I nurtured my love for you. I didn’t have to put much effort into it though, it just grew naturally, and quickly. Too quickly that I can’t stop it myself.

If you were still reading the letter then you probably can guess the important thing I want to tell you.

Yes that’s, I love you…

I just want to let you know about my feelings. I think my feelings were obvious with the way I treated you. So, you may know about it even before reading this letter, or you may not. Well, it’s not important anymore. You know it now.

 You may have many fangirls, but remember that I love you, not because of your smile but because you are you. /laughs/ Yes, I got attracted to your smile, but I can’t love someone only because of their smile, right?

It may not be important to you all the things I wrote, but it is to me.

And you don’t need to be awkward around me after reading the letter because you probably won’t see me for a long time.

I had booked an early flight to New York, and I’ll continue my studies at a university there for three years. I know it would be awkward for us if you rejected me, so I choose to leave. Plus, I also want to forget about my stupid feelings to you, so I have to keep a distance. I have known the result of my confession even before I said it to you, so I have prepared. I’m smart, aren’t I?

When you wake up and read this letter, maybe I’m on my way already so no need to see me off ^^.

I’ll try to give up on you when I’m there, so you better be happy with Hana; because I will surely be happy without you. Promise me?

My love for you is one sided, but you are still my love, so…

                                                                                     goodbye my first love.”

Chanyeol’s heart constricted as he finished the letter, his hands were shaking uncontrollably. He knew Aecha liked him, but he didn’t know she loved him that much. It must have hurt her to see him with Hana, yet she still helped him court Hana.

If he couldn’t reciprocate her feelings, at least he would see her off, right? Chanyeol really wanted to say her goodbye at least. They would be apart for a long time, so he must see her one last time before she left.

She wrote that she had booked an early flight to New York, and it was only past midnight now. Chanyeol hurriedly took his jacket and ran off to her house.

Maybe, he still had time.