The words “I love you”

Would these be able to reach you?

 Although Krystal felt fine all by herself, sitting in front of the television with Sehun by her side. She was totally reluctant and uneasy. She tried to lean on Sehun's lap and tried to fall deep asleep in his broad shoulder. Yet, as she closed her eyes, images of Kai departing with Minah kept on coming. It was somehow sudden, leaving a bitter taste on her tongue. It all felt unreal yet too real at the same time.

She wished she could never be bothered by this any longer.

She wished to never be haunted by him ever again.

Did she really wish for this to happen in her life? At first, Taemin was her knight in shininig armor, her prince charming, brother and savior. She was contented, so contented at his warmth that she felt butterflies on her stomach. But he was not feeling the same. Maybe, she too from the start was just mesmerized by Taemin's figure of a brother. She after all loved being loved.

Right there and then, she reconciled with her older sister, Jessica, formed a stronger bond with Sulli and when everything just become even more complex, here came Kai. She thought he was an oddball but quite charming and a very interesting type of person. She didn't know she could fall in and out of love so suddenly.

But, she didn't regret this time, even if she got rejected for real again. Krystal was always keeping a straightforward outlook in life. She had Sehun in the process afterall. Oh Sehun, so sweet and kind, he was like an angel sent from above. He was head over heels on her. But, she did not know if what she is feeling was real or just another feeling of friendship.

“Sehun-ah, let's go to the mall.” She looked intently at him.

“Okay?” Sehun returned her gaze.

A tinge of guilt showed on her face. She hid it with a smile and stood up. “Let's go then.”

They hurried off to the mall. It was holiday and in a few hours time, it was Kai's departure. Krystal looked upon her watch tick-toking. She wanted time to quickly pass even now.

She watched the stream of people coming in and out of stalls, some were couples, some come in singles and some with their family. It would have been better if I could see it... No, Krystal Jung! You're not going to follow him any longer.

She banged herself on a wall. Sehun freaked out and rubbed her temples for her. “What are you doing?” He gasped. Sehun turned red at that instant as he clasped his hand with hers. Krystal felt so warm and fuzzy. Sehun was always there for her, he was a daytime shooting star for her. He looked strong and tough yet had an old and delicate soul. She did not want to hurt him.

But, she felt that Sehun's heart always ache when he locked his eyes on hers.

“Sometimes Krystal, I feel like you're not with me. Sometimes, I feel like you are in a different place....” He looked away. “...and there, you are with someone else.” Sehun grimaced.

Krystal's heart was pricked. “Why is it really like that? Maybe, I'm just dozing off.”

“Then, it feels like I'm a boring boyfriend for you.” Sehun said.

“No, no way. You're really funny sometimes, Sehun. You always make me smile.” Krystal mumbled. “I always feel safe when you're with me. And, I thank you for that.”

“I love you, Krystal.” Sehun pecked her left cheek. “And, I'll promise that I would not leave you behind EVER.”

“If only... I could run away from this, Sehun. If only, I fell in love with you first.” Krystal's eyes watered.

Sehun seized on holding Krystal's hand. He wiped Krystal's face off her tears gently. “I know that you could not forget about him. But, but...I could not let you be with him. You are the one who is always at the giving end. You always give your smile, time and love for him. But, he doesn't return anything to you. He couldn't even say his true feelings for you.”

“It's fine, Sehun. You don't have to tell me anything about this. I already know. But...” Krystal felt lightheaded. Sehun was right. No matter how things are right now, I am not assured of his feelings for me. I am always and will always be a martyr in love.

“I'm sorry, Krystal. But...” Sehun held both of her hands and gently rubbed them. “I will protect you. If only you could just forget about him...no, even to forgetting about him, I promise that I'll help you forget about him. I love you, Jung Soojung. I swear this to you.” Sehun's plead made a huge storm in Krystal's heart. “Just don't go away....please stay.”

Sehun hugged Krystal tightly. “I love you...” He continued to mumble.

“Sehun, please listen to me.” Krystal said suddenly. But, Sehun was not budging.

“Why do I always need to listen to you? Can't you for the first time listen to your boyfriend? I am your boyfriend, he's not. He's not going to be here any minute, he doesn't even see your tears. He's probably happy with his first love's company.” Sehun felt hurt and frightened all at the same time. He was always waiting for her. And, he was not going to wait anymore.

“How could I mend your heart Sehun from all the hurts I have caused you?” Krystal's vision turned foggy. She was crying madly now.

“Let's start anew, Krystal. Don't let yourself get hurt anymore. Please...” Sehun cried a river of tears this time.

Now, Krystal's time stopped. She was not going to let go as well. This was Sehun. She was going to choose him over Kai. This time she was going to take a different path. She got enlightened. Oh Sehun was not going to let her sad or even cry again. She was ready for the fun times with him. She wanted a sort-of dreamlike love and Oh Sehun was not going to let her go.

“Sehun, I'll stay, okay?”

“Okay.” Sehun smiled at last.

Krystal tried to fake a smile and wiped away Sehun's tears. “Just please let me, let me see him for the last time. I want to say goodbye to him for the last time.”

“Why do you need to?”

“Because I still have a space for him in my heart. And now, I'm getting to have to let go of him for us to start over again.”

“Finally...Krystal...finally.” Sehun twitched his lips.