Let me here what you have to say

Even though it was futile

For me to believe

That I had originally have a place in your heart

The story from his own perspectives

Kai took a leave of absence. It seemed to him that it was already necessary. He thought that he should be ready enough to face Minah if she ever comes back.

By that time, he would be ready to let her go.

He packed a few clothes and marched off to the airport. He saw his older sister, waving at him. There was emptiness on his eyes as he neared to his sister. He kissed her right cheek, announcing that he’s bidding goodbye.

“Kai…” Her sister called.  She clenched on her fist. “Whatever, Mom and Dad have to tell you…don’t you ever regret the things that happened.”

“I’m ready, noona.” He waved and bowed low, dismissing his presence.

His silhouette grew smaller as observed by his noona. There was tear trickling down her face. She never thought that he could finally smile just how he used to. He was becoming more and more like the Jongin of the past. It was all thanks to Seoul and all of the people who had learned to love her little brother like a friend. She rubbed her chest soothingly, preferring it as a nice thing to happen.

She fiddled on her phone and typed a message. It was a number from overseas which she recalled to be Han Geun Young’s. At the early part of the story, she was Taemin’s first love, and also, a friend to Kai’s noona.  His noona was keeping check of everything that transpired to Minah, and the only one to open the lock doors was Geun Young. She was the only key to all of the these.

TO: Geun Youngie

Annyeong~ It had been a while, my cousin. How’s everything? Is everything all right? Jongin just departed to go the province. I finally had a glimpse of his past self.

She blinked rapidly, imagining Kai’s disappearing figure and his growing broad shoulders that could be somewhat a support to her.

From: Han Geun Young

It was fine. This is Kim Heechul. Geun Young couldn’t reach her phone. She’s properly attending to her medications and other stuffs. Your brother, I think, really did suffer a lot. I heard everything about it from Geun Young. I sympathized with him, but he couldn’t do anything about it but to relieve of all the stresses.

But, I think, we, the elder siblings, should be the one to take care of our dongsaengs.

To Geun Youngie

I think so, too. Kim Heechul, you’re one heck of an interesting guy. Please, do look after her. She’s a precious family member.

She ended the conversation with that.

After a few hours, Kai came back to the province. With heavy footsteps, he yawned and grumbled, announcing that he was really, really hungry. All that he cares about was food for now. He went to an eatery just a few meters away from his middle school.  Just a few months, he was with his friends, having some time of their lives in that same eatery.

Well, he had a friend or two .But, he couldn’t call them that. He never opened up to anyone, pretending to be fine while he wasn’t really. He suffered a great damage and all he could think about was how to move on.

He was searching for answers as his eyes traveled to the place. He missed someone. He missed Krystal’s company. Her puffing cheeks and her pretty smile was all he could think of. Her presence seemed to magnify his happiness a thousand-fold. He would be so thankful if she could go directly to him at this time.  After coming back to Seoul, he’d be aware of Krystal more and more, and express his shy self clearly to her.

He wondered if he could truly express his feelings. It was truly hard for him. After all that happened, he couldn’t even face Krystal. He remembered Oh Sehun, and his strange gestures towards her back at the hotel where Kai’s mother’s birthday was held. He gripped the chopsticks as he dug in.

What if it was too late for him already? He halted at the thought, pausing for a while. He continued to eat happily, hiding the uneasiness on his face.

Right after eating, the ahjumma kindly cleared the table and gave him the bills.

He left a considerable amount of money to cover the expenses and for the tips.

He walked off, trailing his eyes to the town right after that. It was where he found comfort and solemnity after Choi Minah’s accident. It was tragic, too tragic for him that he could remember every bit of details.

He closed his eyes, as images flashed through his mind.

It was when he was just a young and fragile kid. He was first year of his middle school. Too young, to even see how people looked up to him, and he was as well too young to notice a girl’s growing feelings for him.

He was still in Seoul, happily playing with Minah and her cousin, Sulli. They resembled each other, and Kai would always make fun of them. But, the truth was, even though they were so alike, he could definitely recognize Minah from Sulli and vice-versa.

Minah aspired to be a soccer player, a regular one. Kai laughed it off. He was good at anything he puts his mind into. It wouldn’t matter if he’s just a beginner, because after a while he’d be an expert. He got full of it and accepted that Minah was of different case.

She grew to love everything she puts her mind into. It was totally different to him. As Sulli was constantly apart from them, he grew more attached to Minah as the girl was as well to him. They reciprocated each other’s feelings as their first love could be. They would be awkward and shy, yet the time flew so fast on their little dimensions.

Not until, Minah witnessed his parents, committing suicide.

It was unknown to Kai; everything was covered by his father as an accident.

His mother turned blind eyes as he pitifully yearned for the truth.

And, he couldn’t even continue thinking about it.

He arrived at his father’s residence. He was managing a group of hospitals there, as he managed to part with his spouse and children. But, he was a true father and husband.

“Pops..” Kai nonchalantly knocked at the door.

“Come in.” There was a joyful voice from the other end.

Kai opened it as he was surprised from the surprise hug from his father. He held onto his son tightly, patting his back comfortably.

“Have you eaten?” Mr. Kim offered, totally oblivious to why he was there. He didn’t bother asking, the only thing that mattered was Kai was seeing him work.

“Yep.” He crouched at the sofa, looking at the surroundings.

“Impressed?” His father boasted off. “I’ve renovated it to my liking.”

“You and you’re exotic behaviors.” Kai smirked, remembering his odd father again.

Mr. Kim made a face, becoming stern with his words.” Why have you come here?” His father figure soon radiated.

“Mom…asked me if you were the one who informed me of Minah being alive.” Kai closed his eyes temporarily, absorbing the moment into reality.

“Yeah? I didn’t tell it to you. It was a secret between me and Mr. Choi.”

“So…Sulli’s father was the one who helped. Why didn’t you tell it to me?”

“We didn’t know.” He sat beside his son, comforting him. “We didn’t know if she would come back to that vegetarian state. It hadn’t been three years since we found out that she’s having nightmares every night. She was near to losing her mind.”

“Is that why…you made me to avoid her?” Kai had watery eyes.

“We tried to get you away from her so that, you wouldn’t feel responsible. She asked for your help, right? And, you didn’t come…”

“Because…you didn’t allow me to…” Kai debated, suppressing his anger.

“Kai…me and your mother love you so much.” He held on his son’s hand. He smoothed his son’s bangs. “I wouldn’t want you to go dying on me to help her…”

“I don’t understand.” Kai stood up, announcing to leave. He got his bag and stormed out of the office. But, only to find himself stopping halfway through as he saw the reflection of his father on the mirror.

“Don’t show that face to me.” Kai declared, keeping his composure.

“I know that…you don’t like her.” Mr. Kim’s touching words struck him. “You’re just feeling angry because you couldn’t save her as a ‘friend’.” He finished the sentence, thinking Kai could understand.

“No…she’s my first love and my feelings are so true back then.”

“No, it was just puppy love. There was no depth or passionate emotions. It was just a pure child’s play.” Mr. Kim continued, putting Kai on the edge.

“No..don’t brainwash me.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to forget about her?”

“I couldn’t.” Kai the doorknob, leaving.

“Isn’t the one you truly love?” He let out a photo of Krystal at school.

Kai turned back, getting sweaty. “Are you spying on me?”

“You looked so different. Just accept the fact and let go of her. It was for you to notice that you fell in love with this person.” Mr. Kim pointed to her face. He was sending private detectives just to do the work for him. He laughed it off, but the truth was. He was truly hurt, seeing his son hover through the past. He couldn’t even figure out that he already moved on, and wanted himself to be happy.

But, Minah’s call stayed on his mind like it was just yesterday.

“Jung Soojung…what if something happens to her just like Min—“

“Don’t think about that. I wouldn’t let you touch her.”

“I wouldn’t but I think Sulli’s father could help.” He jested, yet Kai took it the negative way.

“Don’t dare…I wouldn’t let you. She’s not a toy, don’t play with her heart.”

“Don’t think I’m dumb.” Mr. Kim continued, “…you were the one playing with her heart. She’s not yours. But, you’re getting so full of yourself. Don’t think that she wouldn’t find a better person instead of you. I’ve found out that you’ve constantly been ignoring her feelings.”

“I believe that…” His voice wavered, even his beliefs got clouded. “…she wouldn’t abandon me.”

As exited the building, it was the only thing running on his mind. He came back to Seoul, in hopes of finding out that everything his father said was the opposite of reality. But, it was truly the tragic reality.

Kai was about to approach Krystal on the bench. He wanted to try talking to her, even if it meant that he’d be so tensed up, and not being able to talk. He would then let out his poker face, even if his mouth was itching to ask what she had done for that day.

It was the same old reason. He couldn’t get near her. He was too afraid that just like Icarus who got too close to the sun, his wax wings burned. He was afraid that he wasn’t strong enough. Maybe, if they were adults, he could have the power to protect her. So, she wouldn’t end up like Minah.

But, it was too late. It was too late for his bizarre dreams to take place.

Everything he was imagining was being fulfilled by Sehun right beside Krystal.

Kai had a stifling feeling. He was uneasy, as he followed on to them.

Yet, when the rain fell, his whole body was drenched with cold water. He felt his bones crack, and his whole body getting too jelly to even move. He became stoned for a while.

It was Krystal’s and Sehun’s kiss in the rain.

He felt like everything he did to avoid his feelings for her backfired to him.

And, that was a night to remember for Kai.

How is it?

Is this a development?

A cold night in here.

Just updated.

My gosh, many backlogs due to school Would be updating real soon. :)