Lonely Winter

A white mist fluttered from her lips as she breathed out the cold night air. Rubbing her mitten covered hands together, she waited alone for the arrival of the bus. Glancing up toward the deep dark sky, Jaehwa frowned remembering the stars weren't visible in the city. Suddenly she felt lonelier than before at the deserted bus stop.    

The cold wind bit into her wrapped up body and she snuggled more into her scarf. There was nobody around at this time of night and she was glad there wasn't. She was so afraid someone might ask why her eyes were so red, why she was sniffling so much, why she is out so late with so much luggage that could fill an entire dresser. She doesn't want to answer those questions or even think about them.

Because...it may remind her of the smiles and laughter she is leaving behind and her heart can't take so much damage.

"Jaehwa...." She felt like her frozen tears had suddenly melted in front of her parent's concern, she felt her heart breaking every minute. ".....Sweetie, why are you here so late with so much stuff?" Her Mother's face grew worried, "Did.....something happen?"

All Jaehwa could do at that moment was cry into her mother's shoulder, her parents exchanged worried glances.  

Dim sunlight filtered into the dusty room the blond headed girl sat up with a loud yawn, weary eyes watching the sun peak just over the nearby hillsides. She didn't even notice the door to her room being opened, nor the person moving closer to her, "Jaehwa, I made you breakfast."

The girl only softly nodded as she stared out at the scenery she had missed so much. Her mother let out a soft worried sigh and placed the tray of food on the bedside table.

"Whatever is bothering you, Jaehwa. Please don't hesitate to talk to us about it. Your Dad and I are here for you.", Her mother left with light steps, the door clicking softly behind her.

Jaehwa sat there for awhile, expressionless as the food that grew cold beside her. She felt so cold and worn-out, not being able to think of how everything ended up like this or maybe she wanted to avoid thinking of it.

Jaehwa felt sick at the smell of her mother's home cook meal wafting through the air. She had no ill-will towards her mother's cooking, in fact on an normal day she could eat it all day long and never get tired of it. But today wasn't a normal day and she couldn't stomach the thought of any food, much less home cooked, right now.

The young woman curled up in her warm covers trying to block out the frozen air, but it was no use, her heart had already become frozen.

A young man, scruffy and unkempt hair falling into his eyes, sat on the floor of an cluttered apartment. One young woman sat next to him concern for him written all over her face. “Taekwoon, you can’t just sit here and cry all your life. You have to either go after her or move on!”

Sniffles came from his direction but never lifted his head once, “I can’t go after her. It’s over between us, nothing is going to change our fate.”

“Why are you so upset over this, over her?”

“Because I’m the one who caused it. It’s all my fault Jaehwa doesn’t love me anymore. In the beginning she had hanged onto me and would smile like a bright sun. This was the first time anyone had ever truly loved me for myself and I ruined it all by hesitating and pushing her away. Her love for me was something that I found I could never return. And before I knew it she was out of reach and drifting farther away from me. That's when I begin to realize I loved her just as much as she loved me, but because of my own actions I pushed her so far that sweet Jaehwa had become cold and untrusting and….she said she doesn’t love me anymore…..I still love her and now it is all my fault she is gone.”

Taekwoon broke down into a fit of sobs as Hakyeonie gently hugged him. She would do anything to see her old friend happy once more. Even if that meant finding Jaehwa.

Birds chirped and fluttered as they soar from tree to tree, chattering amongst themselves. It has been three days since she moved back to her hometown. Her parents had finally coaxed her into eating a little and going out into the fresh winter air. The weather had warmed up slightly but snow still covered the ground in big piles. Jaehwa felt at peace sitting here on a bench right next to her house.

Jaehwa closed her eyes as she listened to the gentle breeze and the chirping of the birds, she missed this in the city, no honking of cars, no loud music, no thousands of people chattering at once, no eerie feeling  that someone may be following or watching you. Everything was just so peaceful. Jaehwa could feel her mind beginning to slip into the dreamworld, until she was pulled back into reality.

"Hey, are you okay?", a rough deep voice asked. Jaehwa shuffled and opened her eyes slowly to peer at the tall, dark and handsome man peering down at her.

She nodded slowly, this was a small village but she has never seen such an handsome man as him before. Apparently she has been gone for a long while. He looked at her as if he was studying her, "I've never seen you before. Did you just move here?"

Jaehwa felt her heart lighten up at the simple conversation she hasn't had in such a long time. She softly smiled up at the boy, "Well...yes and no. I've moved back here to my hometown to live with my parents again, after I've lived in the city for so long. I should be asking the same thing."

The younger boy scratched the back of his head with embarrassment, "I moved here with my family just two years ago. I'm Kim Wonshik, but my friends like to call me Ravi."

Jaehwa felt light as a feather, like she could slowly work to forget everything that has happened, enjoying new friendships and old friendships and maybe find that certain someone who would be right for her this time.

"Lee Jaehwa, it's very nice to meet you."

"Come on, Unnie! Let's go play!", Hongbinnie, her younger sister, dragged her to the small arcade.

"Okay, okay!" Jaehwa chuckled as she let herself be pulled in.

It has been about a month now and she is starting to feel better. Jaehwa barely remembers about all her troubles she had when she lived in the city. But the truth is she's wanting to forget everything. Wanting to start her life over with fresh and new memories and relationships.

“Unnie, let’s go and play that fighting game again.” As Hongbinnie led her over to the game, Jaehwa caught the sight of a crowd surrounding a dancing game with Wonshik wearing a cap backwards and dancing his heart out to the beat. Jaehwa has never been so mesmerized by anything or anyone before that Hongbinnie found she couldn't budge her sister from the spot.

Ever since day three of her moving back to the village, she has met old pals and new friends, including her younger sister's obvious crush, Han Sanghyuk. Over these past few days Jaehwa has gotten more closer to Kim Wonshik.

She has found how great of a friend he really is and why all the people in the village, young and old, liked him so much. He told her how at first people judged him as a troublemaker because of his hipop way of dressing and his interest in rap. But as he begin to help the neighborhood with various chores and tasks happily, people began to warm up to him. She found out how in his free time Wonshik loves to sit down and write lyrics and make-up raps, he even showed her some of his own compositions and songs he had made.

Jaehwa found the younger man to be very mature for his age, caring about the village people, creating very beautiful melodies, has a wonderful personality. Jaehwa has also found his laughs to be very addictive, always laughing easily at her 'non-funny' jokes and always calling her 'cute' for doing the most normal thing.

Jaehwa has began to forget about the man who had froze her heart and is now beginning to wonder how this younger man has found a way to melt the unbreakable ice so easily.

"Are you sure about this, Hakyeonie?", his hair was now nicely combed and his clothes fresh and clean.

"I'm positive."

"But I'm meeting her parents for the first time.....and after she just left like that. I don't know..."

Hakyeonie pushed him out the car door, "Well you've got to make a good impression anyway. Good luck!"

Taekwoon gulped as he stared at the house in front of him. Taking a breath, he cautiously took a step one-by-one towards the door. Calming his nerves, he knocked softly on the door.

"Is it done yet?", Wonshik said tiredly. He had been sitting under this tree posing for a picture in what seemed like hours.

Jaehwa giggled as she sketched, looking up at him with a bright grin, "I'm almost finished."

"You said that an hour ago~!" He whined, sitting perfectly still as he looked to his left.

She giggled again and Wonshik thought he would like to hear that sound forever. "If you would stop talking I can finish already."

Wonshik froze in that position. His back leaned against the wooden tree, one leg spread out as the other prop up his arm, his head turned to the left as his lips parted slightly. Jaehwa found that she couldn't stop staring but ended up completing the drawing anyway.

"I'm done!"

Wonshik immediately laid on his back on the hard ground, "finally..."

Jaehwa stood above him with such an angelic smile, "Are you okay?" She giggled again.

He stared into her cute half-moon eyes, "Yeah...I'm okay."

"Good." Wonshik sat up to let her sit next to him. "Do you want to see it?"

Wonshik nodded excitedly. Jaehwa turned it over and immediately he was star-struck. "Wow! This is amazing!" He carefully took the drawing from her hands to closely examine it more.

"I'm glad you like it."

They shared bright smiles, "Well it was definitely worth the wait." He began to lightly trace his fingers on the drawing, "Such detail you put into it too....."

Jaehwa blushed and looked slightly away, "It's not the best I've done...."

"What do you mean?! This is so beautiful and stunning!"

Jaehwa blushed even redder while playing with her fingers, "I...couldn't get the l-lips quite right."

Wonshik frowned as he studied the spot, "I can't even tell."

He silently looked over at the blushing woman, maybe today was the day. He took a deep breath and grabbed her hand, she looked at him surprised, "Jae-"

"Jaehwa-unnie!" Wonshik immediately dropped her hand and both looked in the direction of Jaehwa's little sister. Hongbinnie wore such a bright smile as she waved, "You've got a visitor!"

Jaehwa's bright and lovely expression immediately turned an icy pale. She started to remember everything, all her feelings came back to her at once overcrowding her senses. She wanted to run, to hide, to run away and take Wonshik with her to block out all the bad memories and the heartache. But something stopped her and that something was Wonshik.

Wonshik held her hand tightly, as if he knew she would run away, almost like he was comforting her. However, as she looked into his expression she saw none of that as he welcomed the two over a smile. She would stay because of Wonshik. But she wanted to run because of Taekwoon. Two conflicting feelings that left her confused and hurting.

They were now standing, Taekwoon's cold silent eyes staring into her's. She gripped tightly onto Wonshik's hold, he looked over at her surprised by her sudden change in emotions. Hongbinnie had run off by now leaving the three of them alone. Wonshik would have walked off too if it hadn't been for Jaehwa's sudden desire for him to stay. Wonshik gave her comfort and warmth by just being around him, she didn't want him to leave her all alone to face this.

"Jaehwa-"

"Why did you come to find me?" Her voice came out in a breathy whisper, she could feel hatred, anger, sadness, and tiredness seeping through her lungs.

Taekwoon's eyes furrowed in sadness, regret, "Jaehwa, I came here to take you back...I..I love you, Jaehwa. I'm sorry for everything I did to cause this. I'll smother you with kisses and tell you I love you everyday please, Jaehwa!”

Wonshik fliched slightly from the sudden confession. He hadn’t known that Jaehwa had a boyfriend, a man who held feelings and memories with her. He realized now why Jaehwa hadn’t told him or anybody about why she had moved back to her hometown, she hadn’t wanted anyone to question or pity her.

Wonshik watched as Jaehwa’s expression had slightly changed, she still cared and held feelings for her once boyfriend. Wonshik felt a massive pain in his chest knowing that Jaehwa would never be his. He really shouldn’t get involved.

Jaehwa looked down to their intertwined hands to find Wonshik’s shaking and gently pulling at her fingers. As he caught her gaze he calmed down a little but, she still could see the storm waging in his gentle eyes.

“I….have to go….Jaehwa.” She let his fingers slip through her grasp, the only thing that was keeping her from breaking down. And now she has even let Wonshik go. A tiny tear slid down her cheek, maybe she should have let him go, maybe she shouldn’t have made him stay to see that.

Jaehwa turned away from Wonshik’s fading back. Her heart felt like crumbling under the pain she felt but she held her gaze staring into Taekwoon’s once warm eyes. Jaehwa failed to remember the good times. She only remembers the long weary fights, the cold winter nights, the days when they barely even glanced at each other. Their relationship had been going downhill from the start and there was no spark left between them. She should've done this long ago.

"Taekwoon...I'm sorry but it's just not working out between us."

"But-"

"I don't love you anymore....I'm sorry..."

Jaehwa stared back at him, just as emotionless and cold as the day she had left him had been.

“Jaehwa,” she saw a flash of hurt beneath his calm stare, ex-boyfriend hurt flashing beneath his calm stare, “you like him don’t you?”

Jaehwa could only stare back at her once lover with tears flowing down her cheeks, her feet itching to run after Wonshik and hold him tightly and never let go.

Taekwoon smiled softly, hurt b in his eyes as he looked away from her, “I can tell you're happy with him. I haven’t seen you smile like that in awhile, Jaehwa. I realize it now that you were never truly happy with me. I did come here to bring you back, but I won’t force you, Jaehwa. I…” he looked back up at her with his own tears, “...want you to be happy. And if that means not being with me. Then I’m okay.”

Taekwoon turned around and begin to walk away. “Taekwoon, wait!”

Taekwoon stopped in his tracks. "I hope you find happiness too someday, Taekwoon." He continued on without a word back, knowing these were probably the last words they would ever share.

Wonshik sniffled softly as the tears softly rolled down his red cheeks. Jaehwa was surely to leave him, to leave this small town again. Why should she stay if her own boyfriend had come back to make up with her. And even if he had told Jaehwa his feelings for her, why would she even stay to be with him? It was obvious the man was very well off, living in the city and all. And Wonshik was only a boy fresh out of high school, living in the country with his family with only dreams of becoming a famous rapper or composer one day.

Jaehwa had a man who could provide for and love her all of her days. Wonshik knew a love sick country boy could never win over the girl, that only happened in the movies.

“Wonshik.”

Wonshik closed his eyes, trying to block out his own memories of her. Especially how his heart would skip whenever she would say his name with that cute voice of hers.

“Wonshik, please don’t cry.”

He jumped slightly after realizing he wasn’t just imagining her voice. Turning his head, he found Jaehwa only inches away from his face. His cheeks flushed bright red as he froze in that position. He had never noticed how pretty her eyes were before and how cute her nose really was. All he could hear is the rapid pounding of his heart beat in his ears.

Never hearing Jaehwa’s own explanation and question asking him if he was listening or not. Jaehwa realized maybe actions would speak louder than words.

Wonshik found Jaehwa leaning in closer. He noticed the way her cheeks became a cute pink color and how cute she was as she gently bit her lip in a shy way.

Confusion clouded his mind as he wondered why Jaehwa was still here with him. Maybe this was goodbye?

Wonshik tightly shut his eyes has more tears begin to pour out and slide down his cheeks. Gently he felt her hand caress, almost wiping some of his tears away. What he did expect is to feel her lips upon his gently kissing him. The kiss shocked Wonshik into a state of panic, she shouldn't be kissing him when she has a boyfriend.

Wonshik gently pushed Jaehwa away. He always dreamed of this moment but not like this, not with Jaehwa’s heart taken by another and the bitterness of goodbye. “Jaehwa, please don’t this. What about your boyfriend?”

The response that came from Jaehwa was a beautiful sound of laughter. In any other situation it would’ve made his heart sing with joy but now it only ripped apart his dream of happiness with her.

Jaehwa calmed down after a minute, “Wonshik, I think you’re misunderstanding. Taekwoon came to take me back but truthfully I’ve never loved him as much as I loved you.”

Wonshik almost found his heart do a double flip from the words, “What?”

Jaehwa shyly looked down smiling with happiness in her eyes, “When I was with Taekwoon I became unhappy. He often never said any affectionate words and we always fought over little things. Some nights were so cold and some days we would go through the never even looking or talking to each other. It became so much that I left him, I left for the one home I knew where I had people who cared and loved me. When Taekwoon came to take me back all I remember is all the bad times we had together. Taekwoon said he loved me, but perhaps we were really not meant to be.”

Wonshik listened as he took in all this information. “So that means…”

Jaehwa smiled warmly at him and caress his cheek once again, “Taekwoon is not in my heart anymore. It’s been a month since I met you, Wonshik. But in that short time you’ve made me fall for your warmth and kindness so fast I don’t really know what to do.” Jaehwa laugh softly and all Wonshik could was stare into her eyes as he took all the words in. His heart beating faster, “I like you, Wonshik.”

Wonshik felt the joy and happiness he had always dreamed, “I like you too.”

They both smiled together their hands finding each others and linking together. Wonshik softly leaned in closer, “Can I?” he shyly asked.

Jaehwa in response just wrapped her one free arm around his neck and pulled him in for a passionate kiss and maybe a few more afterwards.

Taekwoon silently watched the new couple from afar a silent tear sliding down his cheek as he wished them both happiness in this lonely winter.

Thank you to everyone who reads, comments, subscribes! This is a fanfic I halfway wrote even before the zelos comeback, but I really do think the Hands of Farewell (also called BadBye) really fits the idea of this fic. I ended up going back and rereading some of my unfinished works and chose this one to rewrite and finish to upload this week. The scene with Taekwoon and Hakyeonie before they go off to find Jaehwa was altered, I still have the original scene, and originally I had Wonshik stay to hear Jaehwa's and Taekwoon's conversation but I realized that wouldn't work for the next scene so I cut it (Parts of the original are still included in that part however.) If I have made a typo or a mistake you are always welcomed to tell me and I will fix it! 

I will still be working on the requests I have and you all are still welcome to make requests! (As long as they are not M rated.) You can requests for various types of aus and even if you want a certain name for the vixxgirls. 

Comments and Requests are always welcomed! I hope you enjoyed this fanfic! Don't forget to tell me your thoughts in the comments below! (it can be about the fic or even my writing! Constructive criticism is welcomed!)