I still cried on our journey home, and at night in my bedroom. It only stopped when I fell asleep. Suho left the day after, just in time when Taewoo oppa came by to check on me. Everybody became wary about my actions for the past three days, like they made their own shifting schedules behind my back, like I was not allowed to be alone nowadays.

Suho was right. Talking to the air-slash-my-dad helped me realize the depth of my actions. I became overly depressed afterwards, again it was because of my doing. I wonder how Suho’s father bypassed this stage. I wonder how he finally learned to move on from his mistakes.

But like he said, I couldn’t bear to forgive myself.

The door to my bedroom opened and Suho appeared with a smile on his face. I returned that radiant expression with a gloomy version, a fake smile one should say.

“Hey Seo Jaehee, want to go out on a date with me?” he sat on my bed comfortably and looked at me with pleading eyes, “I’ll only leave if you’ll say yes.”

“Suho ya…”

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s not­—”

“Then I won’t talk unless you say yes.”

Now I’m annoyed. My head hurts, and I’m not even allowed to say it. I stood up on my own and went to the bathroom for a pain reliever.

“You’re preparing to leave, right?” he called out to me. There’s no stopping this guy anymore, he’s been begging for me to get out of the house for days.

“If you won’t get out with me, Han Taewoo says he will forcefully make you, and I consented on that.”

I wanted to reply, to shout the word ‘