Alone again.

I'm in my hospital room, lying in my hospital bed, wearing one of those nasty smelling hospital gowns. I have to prepare, to ready myself, to the inevitable open heart surgery tomorrow. Feeling tired and uneasy, I don't know how to get ready. I spent my hours of loneliness just looking at the ceiling, hearing nothing but the sound of the ECG and oxygen machine, both attached to where they should be, my chest and my nostrils. I just remained silent, barely talking to anyone, even my mom, and secretly wept. I repulsively shouted at them earlier, upon arriving at this private room of mine, that I wanted to be alone, as I continued torturing myself with more guilt and sadness. I told them to leave me be, just for today, as I think about what I found out eight hours ago, in Cheongsando.

At the pier, 7:55am

"Jaehee ya," my mom kept persuading me, as I stood firm on the ground, not daring to take a single step into the boat without the once early bird, Lee Suho. "Let's just go first and wait for him at Seoul okay? You know we can't afford to delay."

"He promised he'd come mom, Lee Suho will come," And tomorrow's my operation for crying out loud, not today!

I heard my mom let out a huge sigh, she knows that I'm not to be reasoned with. Seconds later she opened her bag, and looked for something. I observed her long enough to see that she was looking for my phone, and on her bag!

"Mom," I called her and walked closer, "How come you have my phone?"

I saw a change of emotion in her eyes and then she hurriedly replied, "You almost left it at home," I was gonna reply 'Thanks' when she decided to use it. "I'm gonna try and call Suho  for you."

How silly of me, forgetting that I have a phone that can contact my man, and scold him for being tardy! Is this his revenge?

"Mom I can do that," I told her as I reached out my right hand. Funny how I saw her reluctantly giving my phone, "Don't worry, I won't scold him that much, yet!"

I speed dialed Suho's number. It rang, and continued that way for a minute or two.

"What the hell..." I mumbled as I kept on redialling, while my mom just hovered behind my back, like waiting to spank me if ever I yell at Suho. After another infinity-like seconds of continuous ringing, Lee Suho finally managed to pick up his phone.

"Suho ya," I tried to sound reasonable, for my mom's sake. "I'm still waiting at you-know-where. When will you get your here?"

"Unni," unexpectedly in was Kim Hyejoo, and oddly she doesn't sound cheerful at all, "Why are you still calling Suho oppa's phone?"

"What are you talking about Hyejoo ya?" I sounded stiff, hiding my annoyance, "Why should I stop calling Suho's phone—?"

"Jaehee ya," I noticed my mom move from behind me, trying to steal my phone.

"Mom? What are you doing?" I managed to walk a few steps away from my mother before I put my phone back to my ears.

"...he won't see you from now on! I heard him telling you that yesterday!" She was crying now, on the other line. What is happening here? "He said goodbye already—!"

"Kim Hyejoo!" I cut her off, raising my voice. "Suho and I didn't fight yesterday, what are you talking about?"

"I think you need to stop hurting him unni!" She tried to sound strong-willed, despite al her sobbing, "You know perfectly well what he's been through, and to think knowing that your family is behind all this... that you still—!"

I was speechless. I am confused, mad, clueless, exasparated, and out of my focus right now. Where is this conversation heading? My family? Does she mean my mom? Suho's Miss Seo? I have no idea what Hyejoo is talking about right now, but why do I feel that the things she said just now where sort of connected like everything was...

"Jaehee ya," I heard my mom call for me in a serious tone. I turned around, and her sad, apologetic face, with eyes full of tears, caught me off guard. Hyejoo said Suho talked to me yesterday, maybe throught the phone. And I haven't seen my phone since