CHAPTER 49

KIM POV

Hi, my name is Kimhan Burnaphan. Just call me Kim.

Have you heard my story? My story is not the best one, It’s not beautiful, not a proud story to be tell.

Life can go up and down, sometimes you are happy and sometimes you are not.

Nothing last forever, that’s what they said,

Time will ease your pain, what happened now is a destiny that determined by your Karma.

Do you believe in destiny?

Me? I am not.

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“Aunt Inn, take Aom to Pie.” I said, my voice restrained on my throat, this moment I know, I won’t be able to see my daughter again, maybe for some times, or maybe forever. If Pie being together with Van, I hope he can take care of Aom too.

“Are you sure, Kim?” She asked me, she carried Aom on her embrace, still sleeping.

I took a deep breath, I’ve been thinking about it for so long, I admit it’s not easy, I want my daughter, but she needs Pie, and Pie needs her. She is sick, I am trying to avoid that she is sick, but I can’t. I am afraid if something happened to her, worried about her conditions, I am trying to muffle all the feeling, but my mind keep thinking about it, “I am sure.” I said. “She needs her mother.”

“Kim,” She touched my arm, “You are a big hearted man, I always know, don’t be stubborn. I don’t believe that Pie betraying you.” She said.

I smiled to her, a smile to hide my pain, “Me too,” I said. “I don’t know Aunt Inn, I wish it’s not real, but it is.” I took a deep breath. “I don’t want to talk about it, Aunt Inn. Pie is waiting for Aom.” I touched her tiny hand and kissed it. “Be good girl to your mother, and Aunt Inn.” I said. I want to cry, call me weak or clumsy, what ever you want, but losing your child, it’s the worst think I ever imagine.

‘What will you do, Kim? Where will you go?”

“I don’t know, Aunt Inn, I need to calm my self. However, I need to face her in the court later.” I said. “Be hurry, Aunt Inn.”

“We are going, Kim.” She said, I can’t say anything, I nodded to her, she closed the door. I want to take Aom back to my embrace but I can’t, Pie needs her more than me. She might doesn’t love me, but I do love her and how can I let Pie suffering.

I drove my car aimlessly, I don’t know where I should go, my home is gone, or maybe never be there. I stopped my car, I don’t really know where I am, but this way is the way to go out of town. I sat like a silly person, staring on the view outside the window.

How if Pie not betraying me, the man she loves is Van, but I forcibly take her from him? That’s mean it’s all my fault, not her. How funny it is. Her love to me seems so real, her acts just too good for a retaliation. I was blinded, or maybe still blinded by love, I can’t hate her at all. I took phone and turned it on, send a short message to Zee. I need an escape to calm my self, and be ready to face her, I don’t want her to see me like this. I asked Zee to take control of my works, and sending me report by email. I turned off my phone again, now all I need is being alone, isolated from the world.

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This beautiful and serene place can’t hold my self. I feel more relieved, but nothing better. I start to admit that I have to face my life like this, maybe I can see my daughter if Pie let us meet, even if we separated. It’s been 31 days, my daughter is 3 months 4 days a go, the pain hasn’t gone yet, but I am getting used to it, the pain could be a reminder of stupidness or a reminder that you still have that feeling.

I sat alone in the living room, checked my mail. A lot of report from Zee, I haven’t check it at all, because I was terrified, I am ready to face the world now, that’s what I am thinking. There is an email from Zee that marked as important and written with capital letter. He asked me to call him, several times. I took my phone and turned it on, the first time after 31 days. A lot of messages come in, it freeze for a while, I dialed Zee’s number. On first ring, he answers my phone.

“Kim, where are you? You have to go back to Bangkok, now.” He said.

“I am in Nan, what happened?” I asked him.

“Are you crazy? That’s 12 hours from Bangkok!”

“What’s wrong there?”

“go back now, or it will be late.”

“Tell me, what’s wrong.