CHAPTER 28

FERN POV.

I can’t lie my self that Kim doesn’t love me, he said it clearly, but I just want him to try to love me. Well, it’s impossible as I am always doing annoying thing to him. Like what I did just a few minutes a go, and now. He drives me home, and we are in his car, it’s raining outside.

“I know you saw her.” I said.

“Good if you knew.”

“Kim! Why are you so cold and cruel to me?!” I yelled.

“What? I am not your puppet, even you made me like one, but I have feeling. It’s clear that I said I don’t love you. To make it clear, I DON’T LOVE YOU!” He yelled to and hit the wheel. He stopped the car on the left side of the road, and take off his seat belt. “Why don’t you understand, Fern? I love Pie. I did this only to protect her, for her happiness.” He said, cupped his face and rested both of his hands on the wheel.

“But she doesn’t love you. Why don’t you try to forget her and start to love me?” I asked him.

“You know what, I always try to stop love her. I always try to forget her, but I can’t.” He faced me and took my hands. “I can’t love you, I can’t. I am sorry.”

“What my flaws that couldn’t make you love me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you, you are perfect. Every man wants to be loved by woman like you, but not me. I love Pie.”

“Why, why is not you?” I grabbed his collar and cried. “I love you for years, I always love you, but why you don’t,” I burst out my feeling to him.

He threw his gaze from me, “I don’t know. I really don’t understand.” He said.

“Give me the reasons.” I cried, I am so mad, mad to no one but to my self, because he can’t love me.

“We just not meant to be.” He said, out of control I slapped his face.

“You, you are the one who never want me!” I yelled.

“Fern, how can I make you understand?” He asked me back. I take off the seat belt and get out his car. He followed me and grabbed my hand. “Where are you going?” He asked me.

“Not your business!” I yelled and dismissed his hand roughly. I stopped the taxi that just come and get in the cab.

“Where are we going, Madame?”

“Just drive.” I said. My tears cannot stop pouring down. I took my phone out off my bag and make a call.

“Hallo..”

“Mario, where are you?” I asked him. Yes, Mario is my best friend since we are in the same University and same class in U.K. We are being a best friend since we are from Thailand, and he is so kindly to me, He always listened to my problems.

“I am at home. What happened to you? Are you crying?” He asked me.

“I need to see you.” I cried.

“Where can I meet you?” He asked.

“I will come to your home.” I said and ended the call. I told the cab driver Mario’s address and he turned the wheels. It’s still raining outside. I used to love rain, I used to be happy when it’s raining, because I met Kim under the rain. I was waiting for my driver to pick me up in front of the school gate, and it was raining, but I forgot to bring my umbrella. He run to me and offered his umbrella. He smiled to me and forced me to take it. He didn’t say his name, I took his umbrella and he run, fade away under the rain. I was looking for him to give back his umbrella, one week after I met him in Canteen. He caught flu by the rain and didn’t come to school for one week, we became friends, no, I start to love him since the day he gave me his umbrella.

“Madame, we are here.” The cab driver called me. I gave him some money and get off the cab. I rang the bell, Mario came from inside with his umbrella and covered me.

“Fern, what happened with you?” He asked me. “Let’s get in first.” He said and wrapped his arm on my shoulder. He told me to take a bath first, he prepared his clothes for me and washed my clothes. It’s a long sweater that made me feel warm.

“Are you done?” he asked me. He put a bowl on the table. “Let’s eat it, I am worried you will caught the flu.” he said and dragged the chair for me to sit. I ate the soup slowly, he just stared on me.

“Is it him, again?” He asked me, and I nodded as the answer. “Fern, I told you so many times. Just let him go. He loves his wife, I met them once in the exhibition and I can see his love to her.”

“But she doesn’t. Why don’t he try to love me?” I asked him.

“Why don’t you try to let him go and love other person?”

“Because I can’t!”

“Because he can’t too.” Mario said. He is right, but I don’t want to accept it.

“What should I do?”

“Give up.”