-Chapter 43-

“My heart… it’s hurt…”- Sehun

Sehun’s POV

I’m no one.

Even if I still like her, it doesn’t matter for her.

She doesn’t care at all.

Because I’m just no one.

I shouldn’t be that happy when she told me to not stop caring. I’m being delusional. It’s obvious that jiyeon won’t get back to me. She accepted luhan’s propose, she’s happy with that. I’m putting too much hopes because of my overflowing love towards jiyeon. Basically, I’ve been loving her for three years, without forgetting her for even a second. But it’s all just a waste, useless . I feel like a fool right now, seriously. My heart has been torn apart by the endless love. My feeling right now is… like a thunderstorm inside me. It makes me feel dizzy, and totally miserable.

It is becoming worse right now that I have to walk home. I spent my money on the steamed buns just now. I still got some money, but it won’t be enough for the taxi’s fares. What a dreadful night. Among all night, tonight felt especially colder than usual. The winter night wind keep blowing. And it’s darker than always too. My life won’t be any better, I’m certain. I wonder what will happen tomorrow. Must be more terrible than today.

I walk along the road side alone while overcoming the coldness alone. Even if it’s cold, my heart is feeling the coldest one. It’s completely freezing, maybe that’s why I feel pain over there. The pain is making me feel so hard to breathe. And it makes my eyes feel aching too. I blink my eyes a few times, trying to not shed any tears. I should be strong, this is nothing compare to what I have experienced before. I have to stop being like this, this is exactly nothing like before. But why it hurts me so much right now?

Jiyeon ditched me for luhan after a year being together.

Jiyeon told me to keep my distance and stay away from her months ago, also because of luhan.

And now, jiyeon said I’m no one… but I guess that is what she really feels, not because of luhan anymore.

I look to the front, the dark path I will go through now. But I think my life path is darker than this, and it’s worse than this. It’s still far for me to arrive to my home. I don’t think I can hold it anymore. It’s cold, and it makes me feel so weak to keep walking in the cold without knowing when I will arrive there. My legs start trembling as I feel so tired of walking. I don’t know how long has it been since I walk from the park, but I know it’s still long for me to arrive. Should I stop here and let myself die in the cold? So I don’t have to go through any more pain. That would be better than living in despair alone…

My legs is so weak right now, and I don’t think I have any more strength to keep walking. I hardly walk closer to the tree near the pathway and quickly sit by the tree. I lean my body against the tree and start sighing, producing the cold smoke from my mouth. I stretch my legs to the front, and then I can see some snowflakes fall upon my black pants. Looks like it will be snowing again tonight, and here I am being here all alone. My eyes turn watery for no reason. I grit my teeth, holding the tears from coming out, and I succeed. I hate it when my tears come down, because it makes me feel painful and hurtful more.

From the place I’m sitting right now, I can see a few cars are passing by on the road in front of me. It’s almost midnight, so it’s less cars on the road. People are going to sleep, people are resting, while for me… sitting here in the cold night without anyone care. I get up from the tree and weakly walk closer to the road. My legs are still trembling and unstable, but I should at least get someone to help me and send me home. I really don’t have any strength left to walk. Right when I reach the road, I turn my head to see if any cars are coming. But there’s none.

I start staring at road, as it seems so blurry to my eyes right now. I grab my head, trying to sweep away the dizziness I’m feeling right now. But then, my legs start shaking hideously, not giving me any more chance to keep standing. I fall on my knee as I really lose my strength right now, it’s really zero. I’m now kneeling down by the roadside pathetically, and that was when my tears start flowing down non-stop. I can feel my tears start covering my face. I can feel my whole body starts quivering. I can feel my head hurts so much.

“I can’t take it anymore. I can’t pretend to be strong anymore. I don’t want to live this life anymore!”

Author’s POV

Baekhyun and kris are still at the park after luhan and jiyeon suddenly disappeared, as well as sehun. Baekhyun who saw sehun left can’t stay still because he’s now worrying sehun, afraid that something will happen to him. While kris didn’t see sehun after luhan and jiyeon left keep looking around confusedly, searching for sehun anywhere.

“Baekhyun, do you saw sehun anywhere? I don’t see him after he left the bench before. Do you think he’s doing okay? Somehow, I feel worried right now.” Kris said to baekhyun.

“I think he has gone back to his home, I saw him left just now. You should go back now hyung, I will go to sehun’s house to check on him.” Baekhyun told kris.

Kris only nods smiling bitterly. After kris leaves, baekhyun then leaves too. He’s going to his car and drives to sehun’s house right away, to see if sehun really has gone back home. Since there’s not much cars on the road, baekhyun arrived at the building within fifteen minutes. He doesn’t waste any more time and runs into the elevator to the fifth level. Baekhyun rings the bell a few times but there’s no response at all. He waits there a few minutes while dialing sehun’s number, but no answer as well.

“I don’t think he’s back. I have to turn back, he must be not far from the park.”

Baekhyun then drives back to the par before to look for sehun there. Baekhyun keep mumbling and blabbering alone about this no ending tragic story. Baekhyun also keep blaming himself for helping luhan to approach jiyeon one year ago. The weather is cold, but baekhyun is sweating. He is just so worried about sehun right now. He saw sehun’s hurtful expression just now, making him more anxious. There is only one kilometer left for him to arrive at the park, and the time is already almost 11 p.m.

“Please, sehun please be there.”

Baekhyun is calming down himself and by keep saying that sehun is at the park. Suddenly, from a far baekhyun saw something, or actually someone is crossing the road. And suddenly too, that someone collapses to the ground, kneeling down in the middle of the road. Baekhyun slow down his speed and as he gets closer, he recognizes that guy is sehun. Baekhyun gasps loudly to see sehun. He quickly park the car by the road. Baekhyun runs out of his car towards sehun who is still kneeling down on the road.

Baekhyun kneels down next to sehun. He then tightly grabs sehun’s shoulders, giving him strength. He can feel sehun’s body is shaking hardly, and he can see sehun’s pale face, and he can see teardrops are falling down. Baekhyun got flustered to see sehun’s situation, making him almost cry himself. Without saying anything, baekhyun gets up while trying to help sehun to stand up from the road. But sehun seems too weak to even standing up right now.

“Sehun…