-Chapter 36-

“Maybe I won’t regret this day, but what about you? What if you end up regretting this day for your entire life?”- Sehun

Sehun’s POV

A few days ago, luhan came to me and apologized. I don’t why suddenly he decided to apologize, but now our relationship get back to normal. We’re like brothers like before, coming to work together, going back together, and eat together. But… even though luhan has finally stop acting cold towards me, now it’s jiyeon who suddenly ignores me. It has been a few days since jiyeon stop talking to me. I believe everything is okay between us when we went to the workshop together. Anyways, I think this relate to luhan’s sudden apologize. I believe jiyeon doesn’t have any intention of ignoring me like this. Or she’s actually mad because what I did to her car? I don’t know… I’m feeling so anxious right now. Maybe I should meet her. I knock jiyeon’s door three times before slowly opening the door.

“Come in.”

Jiyeon’s voice sounds normal though. I walk into the room and carefully close the door. Jiyeon looks flustered to see me entering her room. I wonder what makes jiyeon acts like this towards me suddenly. I walk closer to the table confidently and then sit in front of jiyeon. After I have seated, jiyeon suddenly looks away and starts doing her works, ignoring me who is in front of her. This is seriously awkward.

“Do you really have to treat me like this jiyeon?” I asked calmly.

“As you can see, I’m a bit busy here. Just say anything you need to say, I hear you.” Jiyeon still focused at the sheets on the table.

“Why you suddenly changed? You turned cold, and you ignored me. I remember everything was okay until yesterday.” I stated.

“Sehun, maybe we should just stay like this.” Finally jiyeon stops doing her work and looks at me.

“Say it clearly, I can’t understand.” I simplified.

“You told me before, memories have no strength. And you said you don’t have any feelings toward me anymore. So in my perception, we shouldn’t spend time together and get so close like this anymore, because it can possibly develop feelings in each other’s heart again. Do you get what I’m trying to say?” Jiyeon said while looking straightly into my eyes.

“So what? So what if we develop feelings again? Love comes unconditionally. We can just let it be right?” I opposed and I can see jiyeon’s face is redden.

“No. That can’t be. I love luhan. If there’s a person I should love now, he should be luhan. And to be with luhan, I have to stay away from you, as simple as that. So sehun, it’s better if we stop it here, okay? You will find someone better someday and live happily. You will never regret this day, believe me.” Jiyeon looks confident, but her eyes are shaking.

“Maybe I won’t regret this day, but what about you? What if you end up regretting this day for your entire life?” I questioned jiyeon.

“I will not. Luhan will give me the happiness… I chose him, so I believe he won’t disappoint me. You just stay away from me… luhan might leave me again because of you.” Jiyeon’s voice lowered and she started avoiding my eyes too.

“Yeah… he might leave you because of me again. It’s clear enough. Okay then jiyeon… do as you wish, as long as you’re happy, I’ll be happy. Then… I’ll go.” I tried to sound calm.

Without waiting, I walk out without turning around again. It’s jiyeon’s choice, and I really don’t have the rights to question it. Jiyeon has stated it clearly though, saying that she loves luhan, she wants to be with luhan, and I will just ruin it if I keep being close with her. It shouldn’t be a problem though, we have broken up more than one year ago. I have hurt more than this before, so this is nothing, I just have to stay away from jiyeon. But why do I feel so weak inside right now? It feels like my heart is slowly tearing apart… it’s hurt. It’s really hurt.

Jiyeon’s POV

“Maybe I won’t regret this day, but what about you? What if you end up regretting this day for your entire life?”

“I will not. Luhan will give me the happiness… I chose him, so I believe he won’t disappoint me. You just stay away from me… luhan might leave me again because of you.”

“Yeah… he might leave you because of me again. It’s clear enough. Okay then jiyeon… do as you wish, as long as you’re happy, I’ll be happy. Then… I’ll go.”

After sehun left my room just now, his words keep coming in my mind. Yeah… what if I end up regretting this day where I hurt him again for my entire life? Maybe telling sehun to keep his distance from me is not a bad idea, even though it’s kind of hurting for me to tell him off. Now, everything will be back to normal. Luhan and sehun are back with their brotherly friendship, Sehun and I stay cold to each other, and I will live happily with the way I have chosen. Will I really be happy? I chose luhan over sehun one year ago, and I chose luhan over sehun now too. I’m sorry sehun, I’m sorry for hurting you twice. You said you don’t love me anymore, you said memories have no strength, so sehun… it’s better if you keep it that way, because I will only bring trouble to you if we keep being close… Neither being lovers, nor friends, really suit us sehun. Because we meant to be far from each other.

“Jiyeon, can you come over to my room? Oppa will wait for you.”

It’s luhan oppa. He really acts so nice with me lately. I don’t see him being together with chorong unnie anymore, but he did secretly eyeing chorong when she’s around. I know luhan is holding himself from talking to chorong in front of me to take care of my feelings, and if he really don’t feel anything towards chorong, he doesn’t have to act like that. It’s not like I will scold him for talking to chorong, but he’s being so obvious that he wants to be near her. Why did I choose him over sehun even if I notice he’s after chorong? I don’t know too… maybe I should just depend on fate.

I walk into luhan’s room after deeply thinking for a few minutes. As soon as I enter his room, I can see luhan is sitting on the table while holding his phone. Is he waiting for my reply, or is he contacting chorong? I just can’t stop being prejudice over what he did, but, he’s reliable at the same time. I hope luhan oppa won’t hurt me, I really hope so.

“You’re here jiyeon? I thought you won’t come…” Luhan said while getting up from the table.

“I was a little but busy just now. Why oppa?” I slowly approaching while asking.

“Oh… nothing. I just miss you. Can’t I call my girlfriend to come over because I miss her?” Luhan is being cheesy today. Hm.

“No it’s not wrong… but it’s our workplace and it’s not proper for us…” Before I could refuse, luhan has already pulled me closer and place his arms around my waist.

“Screw that. All I want is staying close to you like this.” Luhan said, half whispering.

He lean closer, and places one of his palm on my neck. I can feel the warmth of his body around me. His face is now just an inch away from me. I turn my head to the right, and luhan then softly kiss my cheek. I can hear his breath near my ear, as his soft lips keep landing on my cheek and jaw.

“Of course we can always tell luhan hyung if we…”

A voice suddenly heard at the door, and I’m certain it’s tao’s voice. I pull luhan’s body away from mine, at the very same time when tao’s voice stop too. I fix my hair and everything before turning around to face tao. He probably had seen us, so there’s nothing I can do instead of smile at him awkwardly. But then, my eyes widen to see not only tao is standing at the door, sehun is right behind him, looking at us soullessly. Then someone suddenly shoving both of them inside while blabbering.

“Why did you guys stand here like mannequins? Quickly go in.” Kris said, still unaware of us.

“Hyung! Stop shoving us in. We shouldn’t come in, wrong timing, wrong timing.” Tao then said to kris.

“What are you guys doing here?” Luhan then asked.

“Hyung, we’re sorry for coming in without knocking first. We just wanna ask your permission to go out for a while. We need to buy something at the market across the road.” Tao explained.

“Okay, you guys can go.” Luhan simply let them.

“Sorry…” I think I heard sehun slowly apologized.

The triple then rush outside and carefully close the door, leave us alone again. Why did sehun apologized anyway? I know they probably had seen me in luhan’s arms, except for kris of course, and I hope this won’t hurt sehun more. I really hope sehun was serious when he said he doesn’t love me anymore… I don’t wanna keep hurting sehun again and again.

Author’s POV

Baekhyun is wandering around the company that day before work hour ends. While everyone is being busy, baekhyun is the only leisure one, every day being leisure. As the