Title (2/5)
Good title for a one-year anniversary but after reading the story, their relationship development went way before just one year. It would have been perfect if the letter solely talked about their one year relationship as a couple. 365 days of ups and downs etc.
Foreward/Description (8/10)
I give you credit here because it is short and simple and sums up the story nicely without giving anything away. A letter. Simple as that.
Appearance (0/5)
No poster so no points here.
Plot (10/15)
The idea is sweet and touching definitely especially when I read the ending. But here are some feedback I have:
I would have preferred if the sequence of the letters followed that of the development of their relationship. From strangers to friends to best friends and eventually lovers.
Letter 1 was fine, but you talked about the acceptance of her parents of their close relationship before it was clear they were becoming close enough to have each other over at their homes. Also, it seems they were already close before falling in love that night but his caller ID still showed "stupid miyeon" when it was obvious he cared for her.
Letter 2: He should have addressed the front part pertaining to their relationship and not just the insane girl.
Letter 4: How did it go from comforting her to her huge appetite? The current timeline and flashback does not tally.
Letter 5: The first letter mentioned they were partners for four years and it seems that they never bothered getting close to each other in the four years because she haven't seen any good side of him but here it states she fell in love with him after four years with a mention of another additional year. This is confusing because I am unable to tell when the feelings started.
I understand that their one year anniversary falls on the 22nd March. But she died one week before so the letter has to be dated earlier? Also you said Jongin re-read the letter, meaning he had already read it once before the actual date he was supposed to receive the letter. I can understand that she wrote the letter before she got into the accident but it could be nicer if this was the first time he was reading it.
As beautiful as the ending was, it is confusing because as mentioned above, he read it once when she was still around, which is not on their one year anniversary and he reads it again whilst celebrating their one year anniversary alone. You could have even made this their second anniversary or even longer, to prove that his strong love for her never faded after losing her during their one year anniversary? It varies and this are simply suggestions.
Originality (13/15)
Not something out of the blue but I appreciate the deep meaning and maturity behind it.
Grammer & Spelling (12/20)
Generally it was readable but do note your phrasing and long sentences which confuses readers. Couple of mistakes and suggestions as per below: (good thing you made your text selectable)
something about the way you act just screamed out “arrogant.”
Something about the way you acted just screamed "arrogant"
But yet, countless people like you and I could never see why in the four long years being your partner for every project the teachers could ever assigned us to do.
Yet, countless of people liked you and I could never see why even after being your partner for every project the teachers assigned us to do in the four long years.
She said, barely able to make a sound with her sore throat then immediately turned her attention back to her book.
She could barely make a sound with her sore throat. She immediately turned her attention back to her book after answering him.
Flow (4/10)
As mentioned above, I could not see the progression of their relationship in progression with the letter.
Characterization (5/10)
Slight description of their characters in the letter but too little for me to feel for any of the characters. More importantly, I could barely feel the strong love they shared for each other which is a pity because the ending was meant to be tear-inducing.
Overall Enjoyment (8/10)
Sweet story and good formatting of letter vs current vs flashback which makes reading a lot smoother. Well done.
62/100!
Comments