In every lifetime [Chapter 32]
What Is Love?
In Every Lifetime
[Chapter 32]
Feeling light as a feather, Sunghee opened her eyes and with the first glimpse, she realized she wasn't with Sehun any longer. On a spotless white blanket, she was laying on her mother's lap. And a man seated next to them. and Immediately, she knew. "Father." Sunghee sat up and looked at him.
It appeared as thought they were on a family picnic.
Looking around, all she could see was an open field filled with green grass and abundant flowers, the sky so tranquil and blue, the winds breezed so smoothly, it looked and felt like heaven.
I must be... dead.
The man smiled at her. He moved closer and presented her with a kind pat on the head. "How do you feel?" He asked.
Sunghee took a moment to let it all sink in. The man right in front of her was the royal king, her father. He seemed quite normal and laid back. Nothing about him screams royalty. He was a simple man. His smile felt familiar, not like a stranger at all, thought it was the first time she's seen him. Something about him made Sunghee feel like she was home, like it was safe, far from any danger. He definitely was her father and Sunghee needed no introduction.
"Light." Sunghee answered with a simple smile.
"You have done so well and made me proud."
Just as the father did, the mother spoke too. "We're proud of you." She came and hugged her daughter, and so did the father.
Sunghee felt quite alright. But no matter how wonderful the view was or how peaceful the place seemed- something was not right. Heaven was supposed to make you feel all happy and contented, right? But why does it seem so incomplete. Something was missing. No matter how much she tried to smile, her eyes stung with tears.
Maybe this is why fate always had its way to separate me and Sehun. I was always destined to die. Maybe... he and I were never meant to be.
"Mom," Sunghee held on to her mother's arms forcing her self to accept that this is somehow the reality. There was no other choice. Life on earth was over. This was her new beginning.
"You are not yet gone, my child." The king said, seeing the look on Sunghee's face. "There is no need.." He paused and heaved a silent sigh. "..to look so glum." It was as if he was a somehow disappointed, like he wanted her to be happy but she wasn't.
"Father, I.. that's not it at all. I'm glad... to be here and I.. I just.." Images of Sehun burned and flashed through Sunghee's mind. It made it so hard to concentrate on all the good things around her because it caused her so much grief. Although she was the one who died but she was also the one grieving the loss of.... everything.
"I understand." The Queen said. There was no need for asking. It was obvious what Sunghee was thinking. "He's calling you." The mother said with sympathetic eyes. "Listen..." She then tucked Sunghee's hair behind her ears.
Sunghee...
Somehow she heard Sehun's screams faintly like they were a mile apart. His desperate cries whispered through her ears.
Sunghee open you eyes!
You promised!
You promised me...
You'd never let go.
Don't..
Don't let go of me.
I love you..
He cried.
Sunghee closed her eyes and her ears, feeling torn. "There's no use." Saying that was just as painful as crushing her own heart into dusts. "I thought everything would be okay. But he's crying...and now I can't do anything to make it stop..."
"Who said you can't do anything?" Out of nowhere, a girl with a cheery big smile on her face appeared, sitting right next to the family and making her self comfortable.
"M-Miyoung!" Sunghee stared at her in shock.
"What's with that look?" Miyoung smiled. "That's not like you at all!" Miyoung scooted closer and pinched Sunghee as hard as she could. "Snap out of it woman!"
The King and Queen both laughed.
"Ouuuchh!" Sunghee sniffed. "Knock it off. It hurts!"
"Don't be stupid." Miyoung freed her, pointing a finger at Sunghee's chest as she said, "This is what's hurting."
Sunghee froze. "It doesn't.."
"Stop lying to your self."
What good does it do admitting that she was hurting? It's not gunna change anything. "There's nothing I can do." Sunghee wiped her endless tears frustratedly. She hated feeling hopeless. "This I what's supposed to happen."
"Honey..." The Queen leaned her head against her daughter's.
"Is that so? Is that how you really feel? Are you just going to sit around enduring the sound of Sehun's cries then? Is this how you wanted things to end?"
Miyoung's statements were truthful and straight through the heart and her point was understandable but Sunghee didn't understand. She wanted to be with her family, but at the same time... Sehun and the others... she wanted to be with them too. What else could she do? What was she supposed to do?
I don't want everything to end like this...
"What am I supposed to do?" Sunghee buried her in her palms. She wanted to live, At the same time be with her parents but what she wanted was impossible. "I want to be with all of you...but-"
"All there is for you to do is to decide." Sunghee's father acknowledged her wish. "Only you can decide for your own happiness."
"It's up to you, dear. We'll always be with you, no matter what happens. We want you to choose whatever it is that makes you happy."
"But-"
"Sunghee, they're giving you a chance to chose. Do you want to die?" Miyoung looked at her intently. This was the biggest decision her best friend is probably ever going to make in her lifetime. Miyoung wanted her to make the right decision.
"N-No." Sunghee answered with all honestly. "I do not want to die."
Almost out of his mind, Sehun held Sunghee in his arms tightly, breathing as if he was drowning along with his vision which were already blurred with tears.
His reason for existence was now gone, lifeless. Nothing made sense anymore. Panic, grief and frustration clouded his thoughts.
Sunghee...
She's gone.
What to do...
He felt so helpless and lost.
What's left?
Nothing.
Not until his ear tickled with a single breath and his spine tingled. Hairs in his body stood up and his heart raced as if it had been dead along with her and finally was revived and beating. Anticipation rushed through him like a ranging river.
"Sunghee?" He sniffed and wiped his tears with his shirt.
Little by little, her cold body began to warm. From the core of her heart down to her toes. Her pales cheeks flushed red once more just as her rose lips. Her chest heaved slight breaths of air. Sehun waited for her lashes to move and her eyes to open.
She's alive....
Her lips parted to whisper, "You...'re....crushing....me." With a weak smile, she opened her eyes.
With the confirmation of her voice, Sehun was astounded and was ready to explode in relief.
"Sunghee.." All he could utter was her name. His senses were focused on sound of her breathing, the warmth of her skin, her voice, everything felt right again. "Sunghee..."
She lifted her arms to touch his face and wiped all his tears away. "It's alright. Stop crying."
But he just couldn't. There was no off switch for this. The tears just kept flowing. "I thought... I thought you've gone off into some place where I could never reach you... I was scared I'd never... see you again."
"I heard you crying. You said you loved me and I... I just couldn't leave. I want to hear it again, Sehun. Say it again. You love me."
"I do. I have always, and always will love you. I love you." Now sure that this wasn't all just his imagination, Sehun did not hesitate. He carefully lifted her head closer and kissed her. Feeling her soft lips kissing back only proved she was much alive, it made Sehun cry silently even more. He paused to regain his breathing, and just couldn't hide the relief. "You're not allowed to leave my side ever again from now on." He said looking sternly serious. "You're stuck with me forever."
"Even when I have go to the bathroom?" She smiled at his sudden earnest command.
"I'll buy us a house and then you can use our very own bathroom." He persisted, kissing her softly on the forehead.
"Wanna tell me how you're going to do that?" She was enjoying this, wondering how far he's actually gunna go.
"After we get married of course." Sehun was starting to feel a lot better now that he's hearing her talk. He was comfortable again, having her in his arms like this made him forget about everything else. "You can pick all our furnitures, I won't complain like I used to-"
She laughed. "Remember when we fought over the sofa?"
He chuckled. "That bright yellow couch. I hated that. B-But I won't anymore! I'll go with whatever weird furnitures and blinding colors you like. As long as you're with me. I won't mind anything."
"Is that... an invitation?"
"Yes." He smiled. "For the the second time in our lifetimes, I ask you, Sunghee, will you please... finally marry me?"
And thus, sealed with a pure and wholehearted, unfeigned kiss...
"Ask me a hundred times...In every lifetime... my answer will always be yes. Oh Sehun, I will marry you."
"I love you." He said.
"And I love you." She replied.
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