BROTHER

[Chapter 20]

                [SUNGHEE’S POV]

                It was getting harder and harder to keep it all in. Could I stand any longer to keep a straight face whenever I face him? My brain was no longer making sense. Only my instincts are found reliable at this point but even then I would find it hard to suppress what I was hiding inside. I find my heart out of control every time I had to look in his magnificent eyes. It was driving me insane.

                Ever since that night of ambush I have been dreaming of things and people and I just couldn’t comprehend these images formed by my own mind. I was in complete and utter confusion.

There were times when I see my self sweetly snuggled in Sehun’s arms as he kissed me softly and passionately. His lips tenderly touching mine as his arms wrapped so warmly around me. These passion-filled dreams left me awaken in the middle of the night, my heart in daze yet somehow I hungered for it to become reality. I was ever so slowly falling for him, craving to actually kiss him. Was I going insane?

Then there would be dreams when I would see the reflection of my self happily talking to Joonmyun, talking and laughing like the conversation was truly fascinating, and out of no where Chanyeol would appear behind us and slightly pinch my cheeks like a little kid. Every one of them were in it. Joonmyun, Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and Sehun. We would converse and smile like such a happy family, but the confusing part was there was such happiness and content inside of me. Though it were only dreams, why then was I so happy? Why wasn’t Luhan and everybody else; my so called family  in my deams? What had these dreams meant?

It could not have been my memories coming back. It couldn’t be. Because I looked older and much more matured in these dreams. Maybe two or three years much older. Was it my future then? Was I seeing my future? Impossible. How could I?

Maybe they were all just plain … dreams.

On the contrary the feeling it left me afterwards were all too real. Somehow I knew it couldn’t be just illusions of my mind.

Then what was it? I want answers. But who’s going to give it to me?

_________________________________________________

Sunghee found her self knocking on Joonmyun’s door. She had decided to sneak out and take a walk long relaxing walk but apparently her own two feet had brought her directly to his house.

The door opened with a click and She came face to face with Suho.

“Sunghee?” He gazed upon her almost distraught look and instantly asked, “Is something wrong? What are you doing here?”

It was like all the words had left and she couldn’t answer, just staring back at him.

Instinctively Joonmyun opened the door wider and held out his hand. “Come inside.” He smiled at her comfortingly.

He offered her a seat at the couch and said he was just going to get something for them to drink. Sunghee fidgeted in her seat, starting to think of excuses of why she just came and barged in on his house without a reason. What am I doing? I shouldn’t have come here. I can’t just ask him why I’m having dreams about … them! I would sound like—like an idiot. She sighed deeply and muttered. “What should I say?”

“Say what?” Joonmyun came back holding a tray.

Sunghee almost jumped in surprise. “I—I … nothing.”

Placing the tray down at the table, Joonmyun asked. “So what made you come here, Sunghee?”

“S-Sehun,” Finally she thought of a believable cover up. “I was just… wondering if he was here.”  

Joonmyun managed a chuckle finding the lie cute that she was there for Sehun. “No he isn’t here but you can wait for him if you want to. Feel free to stay.”

Sunghee felt guilty for lying but she nodded. Deep inside she wondered whether Joonmyun had the answers she was looking for. She wanted to ask him, but there was just now way she can ask without sounding like she has lost her marbles.

Out of no where Sunghee just suddenly had the urge to say something that caught Joonmyun’s attention to the extent of him almost gasping.

“Oppa.” She called him.

Joonmyun’s eyes flickered. “What did you say?”

Realizing what she had just spoken, Sunghee blushed. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t know what came over me.” She stifled a nervous laugh. “Joonmyun-ssi maybe I should just get going.” Sunghee stood up bowing.

Joonmyun’s heart ached with much sorrow and joy. You haven’t called me that in a long time. He looked at her intently feeling touched. I sort of… miss it.

Why is he looking at me like that? She looked at Joonmyun who seemed to be wondering in his thoughts for some seconds. “Joonmyun-ssi, are you ok?”

He blinked. “It’s okay.” He smiled. “You can call me oppa. I don’t … mind. Not at all.”

But wasn’t he just a recently met friend? She doesn’t even know much about Joonmyun and here she is, wanting to call him with an intimate name ‘oppa’. Why does she feel like she’s known him before… she’s known all of them before.

“Oppa.” She said it one more time and Joonmyun couldn’t hide the smile that formed in his face. He loved it when she called him that.

Being the one who took care of Sunghee ever since she had been found wondering and lost, Joonmyun was happy to be called that way. Together with the others, He took care of Sunghee until they all found out she was a descendant from the royal family. From then on he decided to protect and guard Sunghee with his own life, treating her like his own little sister. It was even harder for him when one day Sunghee came back with a ring on her finger saying Sehun asked her hand in marriage. It was one of the hardest things he has ever done, letting his little sister go and get married. But it was what she wanted and so he agreed.

But it seemed like fate had much more pain in stored for Joonmyun. Once again he lost his precious little sister—that night when Sehun was attacked and Sunghee was left at Jongin’s hands. It was all too painful to even remember, up until now Joonmyun could still feel the ache in his chest every time he remembers and wonders what he could have done if only he was there.

But hearing her say it one more time.. the word ‘brother’ .. Joonmyun held back all the unshed tears.. and only showed a smile. It was more than enough to cure all the scars time had lashed out on Joonmyun’s poor heart.

He came close up to her, and ruffled her hair. “Dongsaeng.” He said.

What is this feeling? Why do I suddenly have the urge to cry? Sunghee looked up at Suho. She could see sadness yet there we happiness in his eyes. She wanted to hug him and maybe comfort him for some weird reason. It was all too confusing for Sunghee. She had no idea she was staring at the mad she once used to call .. brother.

Joonmyun finally couldn’t hold it back any longer. He wanted to hug his little sister once again. Slowly he embraced her without even thinking she might freak out. “Say it one more time.” He begged as his tears fell. All those years of looking for her.. never giving up that he will one day reunite with her again.. it all came down to this very moment.. Suho’s arms quivered and felt weak as he could finally feel his and touch his sister.

Sunghee cried even though she had no idea why.. she just cried.. it was like somewhere deep inside her she knew hugging Joonmyun was the right thing to do at the time being. “Oppa.. Joonmyun oppa.” She repeated the words and made Joonmyun cry even more. “Why.. Why are you crying?” She felt stupid for asking because she was crying with him for no reason.

Joonmyun laughed. “Nothing.. I just.. I’ve always wanted a little sister.” He had to lie, and it hurt. But if it meant keeping her safe, then it is what he had to do. Lay had warned him about this.. about forcing memories out of her, he knew if he said the truth he could very well have just killed her. For now lying was the best thing he could do.

It was a truly weird moment for her. One moment they were standing there and the next they were hugging each other crying. But as if the words just intuitively came out from her own mouth, she said, “You have me now, Oppa.” Sunghee comforted him.

“I know.” He said as he slowly freed her from his embrace. Once again he ruffled her hair, “Dongsaeng.” He said.

But the moment was suddenly interrupted when…

“Err..” Chanyeol’s wide eyes stared back at them. “Why are you two crying? Did I miss something here??”  

“Nothing.” Joonmyun mubbled. You just ruined the moment!

I know.. I know..

I .

Im sorry guys.

I'll try to do better <3