“Woah. . . is that a house or a museum?”

Parking the safest spot possible, Jiwon got out of her car with her eyes glued at the big tall house meters away. She made sure to park far enough but she could still see it clearly, it was massive. She was sure there’s about four to five floors in that mansion. It’s just like the houses of some western celebrities she has made scoop about before, if not better. “They’re crazy rich.” She grunted while opening her backseat door. She took out her handy camera that she could hang around her neck. She didn’t bring out any fancy and humungous camera for obvious reasons, although she had it kept on her trunk just for emergency purposes.

She roamed her eyes around to find a good spot to take a good picture if she comes out.

The previous people who gathered information about Soojin had given her the woman’s daily schedule, it wasn’t anything detailed but they got most of the places and times of each schedule. It’s just some normal work-related schedules for the most parts, they didn’t know her private appointments of course, although they have confirmed her weekly appointments to the salon and derma-center. Jiwon glanced down to her watch, she arrived a little too early. It’s only 7:30AM and the schedule said Han Soojin is mostly seen coming out of the house around 8:30AM. Jiwon darted her eyes down the coffee shop where she parked close by so her car wouldn’t be suspiciously exposed around the huge- mansions everywhere. 

“I guess I just need to wait first.” She sighed and took out her laptop from her car as well before walking into the coffee shop. It’s officially her first day of work and she’s usually very excited, energetic and whatnot, one reason why she ended up getting ready way too early. She ordered her usual, dark roast, before settling down a table close to the glass walls so she could still keep an eye on the house. She placed her laptop down and opened it. Initially, she was planning to just begin her research at Han Soojin’s store but she thought it’s a very public place so there was no way she would be doing anything fishy in there. It’s what she does and where she goes before and after work that matters.

An hour of wait didn’t matter to her.

She remembered when she was just starting to go out there for scoops, she had to wait for a long period of time for a western singer to come out of the house of ANOTHER singer to catch their affair. It was a success and it reached the headlines but at that time, the credits all went to Chatter Tales, not to her. It was only recently that she started gaining more exposure and appreciation on the field.

She connected her laptop to the Wi-Fi and searched more about Han Soojin hoping to find more than what was given to her. “Oh wow, she even models for her own clothing brand.” She scrolled through the photos she found. Jiwon found her very charming but well-educated at the same time. Her shoulders fell as she adjusted herself on the seat more comfortably. “She’s very feminine.” She sighed and stared at her blurry reflection on the laptop screen.

She wasn’t feminine, she was never feminine. It was one thing that she could never force herself to be. She can’t even walk on heels up until now, she prefers flats. She’s not comfortable with pencil skirts or formal dresses although sometimes, it was required at work-related things. She does go to the salon just to have her hair trimmed and treated once a month but she has never done anything fancy with her hair before. She does wear makeup but she could never do her own makeup decently. Sometimes, she envies women who act really poised and feminine.

She felt a light pinch on her chest as she drowns herself with all those thoughts. “I said no. . . I said not now, I said y-you could wait for me if you want. . .  I didn’t say replace me.” She unknowingly muttered while picturing Baekhyun’s face in the air. She made a blowfish and rubbed her face to wake herself up back to reality. No matter how much she tries to turn things around, she knew she’s still at fault for whatever had happened in the past. She did decline him, she did use her mind more than her heart, she did tell him to act straight and maturely about the situation, she did tell him it might not be the right time for them yet

But she had never put a closure between them.

Just like she said, the time wasn’t right. She thought they needed to grow first in order to take care of each other well enough and avoid hurting.

She said all of those hurtful but honest words to him, to wake him up to his senses just like what Mrs. Byun had told her to do. . . but she could never deny that she still waited for him. She waited for him to man up and prove her otherwise, she waited for him to come back and tell her he understood her and that he can wait . . She waited for him to follow her there at the right time, she even wrote him a letter together with the address of where she’ll be going and her aunt’s contact information just right before she left.

He never responded.

She could have taken it as a sign that he will never try to get her back anymore but she still gave herself a year to wait but still, nothing happened. Eventually, she realized she was waiting for nothing.

One reason why finally gave Do Kyungsoo a chance. He might have started as a rebound but she will never forget that he was the only one who stayed by her side on the saddest and darkest times of her life even when her aunt passed away, Do Kyungsoo was the only one left in her life. He was there with her through thick and thin. That was when she decided that maybe. . . Do Kyungsoo should be the one for her all along. She was too tired of waiting for nothing, she was too tired of crying. All she wanted was to be happy again and Kyungsoo was the only one who gave her that chance again.It took some time for her to take it but she eventually got used to it and learned how to love him back. 

What she had with Baekhyun, without a doubt, was something intense and unforgettable. But sometimes, there are things and people you just have to move on from for you to grow up.

She knew she had grown up but. . .

F L A S H B A C K

“W-where’s your stuff?”

Jiwon stood there across Baekhyun who just arrived. They met up at the train station where Baekhyun had told her to go to so they could run away. Baekhyun was able to escape at midnight through the help of his brother. “Anyway, I missed you so much.” He pulled her in for a tight hug while planting kisses on the side of her head. Jiwon remained a straight face although tears started crawling down her cheeks. “If I let you slip off my hands again I will really lose it already.” He hushed, hugging her even tighter. “Jiwon pushed him gently and wiped her tears.

“So why didn’t you bring any stuff? I told you to. I t-thought you got what I meant.” He asked with a smile. Not getting any response but tears, he slowly lost the wide smile he had.

“B-baekhyun, I. . . I didn’t love you to take you away from your family. . . or to take you away from yourself.”

Confusion started building up on Baekhyun’s face. He forced a smile and grabbed both of her hand. “What do you mean? Wait—I don’t understand, I just told you what they did to me, right? I told you.” He replied, his voice getting firmer by the end of the sentence. Jiwon looked away to hide her trembling lips. “Yah. . . you’re acting really weird.” Baekhyun’s grip on her hands eventually loosened up.

Jiwon lifted her head up again and took a deep breath. “Baekhyun, do you really think this is the solution to our problem? W-we. . . we can’t even make a decision without having to lie or sneak out. T-that’s. . . that’s not even making a decision, that’s running away from it.” She cried. Baekhyun took a step back, his hands dropping weakly to his sides.

“A-are you ending this?”

Jiwon wiped her tears and tried to get close to him again but he only put his hands up. “No, answer my question.” He grunted with a shaky voice, his eyes glistening with tears. “I’m not ending things, I’m just trying to fix it. Baekhyun, this may not be our time yet. If it was, none of these would have ever happened, if it was the right time, we never have to run away and hide, have you ever thought of that?” Jiwon replied before covering to cover a loud sob from coming out.

“Is time important? What matters is how we feel for each other and if this is the only way for me to be with you then I’m going to do it. What the hell are you trying to do here?” Baekhyun started bawling in frustration.

“If this is the only way you could think of to be with me then maybe you shouldn’t be with me at all right now.”

Baekhyun’s lips parted, hot tears heavily dropping to the ground, a wave of pain punching him right on the chest. It was difficult to say those words out loud, Jiwon could feel her chest getting drowned with agony with every word that comes out of . “A-all we need is time and space. We need to grow up. I love you. I love you so much Baekhyun. But if ruining our lives and our relationship with our families are the only ways for us to be together then neither would it work between us. I want to love you the right way and I’d like you to do the same. P-please understand me.” She added. Baekhyun just stared at her and she could feel the pain in his eyes suffocating her. A weak scoff came out of him as he looked away while taking his steps back away from her.

“You’re unfair. You d-don’t fix a broken person just to break him