“Do you love him?” Joonyoung’s manager asked as she sipped her coffee.

“Of course, I love him very much.” I answered and she looked at me sternly.

“Then why are you dragging him down?” She asked and I was taken aback.

“What do you mean?” I asked and she gave me a sarcastic smile.

“Don’t give me that question. You sure know that he ditched his band when you were stuck somewhere during their promotion and it was raining hard right? You know how important that promotion is. You are also aware that he kept on giving you his time which he tried to save even if I didn’t allow him. Not only that, he is risking his name in the industry just to be with you. His fans are already furious about it and they hate you for taking away his time for them and yet he don’t seem to be bothered. Sooyoung, even before I became his manager, I was told of what he did in the past. He was lucky his manager was considerate enough to cover up for him. But I am not like her, more than his feelings, I care about his career. He is close to the top and I wanted to protect that as his new manager. So I am asking you to please decide whether to stay or to go. And if you chose to stay, I am sorry but you have to deal with a lot of pain and he would also receive the greater pain. However, if you choose to go, you will have two choices to help him.” She paused and looked at me for a response. I let out a deep heavy sigh before I decided to talk.

“What are the choices?” I asked as I felt my heart beating fast.

“First, you will migrate to the US and find another job there. You don’t have to cut the ties between you and him. You will be able to communicate with him depending in the situation or his schedule but he will not know where you will be going. And he will not be allowed to leave if ever he found out about it. However, knowing his stubbornness, that won’t work so you have to move to another country if he finds out about it. Second, you will go to Busan and there is a company who will readily accept you in. However, you need to break up with him so in case he will know that you are there, he won’t have a reason to ditch his band once again. And you will cut all communications with him. Simply stated, break up with him to help him clear the way to the top and reach his dreams. Now, you have to choose between the two until tonight and tell me your decision tomorrow morning.” She said and stood up.

“He has his schedule today so I need to catch up. See you tomorrow.” She said and left me confused. I didn’t know what to do until I decided to take a walk. But when I was strolling at the park, some of Joonyoung’s fans threw their ice cream at me so I needed to run to my car. But my rear view mirror was painted with black and red. And the door had the words “Die!”. Maybe, I was hurt and I felt bad for Joonyoung. I felt like I was being a dead weigh to him. He don’t deserve this. If he would find out what happened today, he would tell me he will quit his work and I don’t want that to happen. He can’t give up now that he is near to reaching his dreams.

I remembered that day again. The coldness I am feeling now reminded me of that day. I chose the second choice of going away and leaving him. I wanted the best for him and that was the only way I knew that would best benefit us. That was the only way I know to make him forget about me and focus on his career.

It snows. Snow falls full of the world

To the point where I forget even the fact I am alone.

I am happy. I wonder if you are chuckling and crying in turn with thought of me somewhere too.