“Sooyoung-ah!” He shouted then I saw him kneel down. I wanted to run back and hug him and tell him I am sorry but I can’t. I love him and I don’t want to be a dead weight to him.

It’s already been 3 months; I can’t believe I was able to deal with the pain on the first weeks and first month. Even until this moment, I still can’t forget him. I am still dealing with the pain.

“My dear, you haven’t touched the pie I gave you this morning. Here’s another pie for you. At least have some to fill your stomach. You arrived late this morning and I know you haven’t eaten anything at the studio.” Dad told me and I can see the worry in his eyes. Ever since I left Joonyoung, I’ve been busy with work to forget the pain. Dad knew what I was doing but he didn’t talk about it because he understands me. But then, Dad never knew my real reason for leaving him and I can’t even tell my father about it because when he finds out about it, surely the next day, he will bring Joonyoung here.

“Thanks Dad, I’ll eat later. I just feel tired but I can’t even get some sleep.” I told him and he just sighed. He knows I’ve always been happy with producing music but he thinks that me overworking is not a good idea.

“Why do you have to make this hard for both of you?” Dad’s question made me uneasy. That was the first time he asked me about this, about me leaving Joonyoung.

“Dad, I told you. I wanted to explore. Besides, casting singers is not that much of a work.” I told him confidently. I didn’t want him to worry even more and make me talk about my real reason.

“Yeah, casting singers at day and being a music producer at night is not that much of a work. I can see that now.” He said sarcastically and I sighed before I hugged him.

“Dad, don’t worry. I am fine with my work. This is one thing I never got to experience before. And I am enjoying this work. Besides, the company is taking care of all of us, their staffs, not only their artists.” I said to lessen the worry he is feeling and make the mood lighter.

“I know you are enjoying your work. But then, don’t overdo it. I mean, give some time for yourself too.” He said and pulled away.

“I will Dad.” I assured him and he tapped my head.

“Have some pie later and take some rest.” He said and I nodded as a reply before he left.

I went back to my bed and glanced at my phone. I looked at the wallpaper, it was a picture of me and Joonyoung at a movie house, and I just can’t stop myself from looking back at our memories together.

‘I miss you’ I whispered when my phone rang. Then Joonyoung’s name registered. My heart beat fast and I felt nervous. He is calling once again. And although it was hot in my room, I felt cold.

A drearily put cake and the languid inside of my room,

A list of movies having been unchanged for years, 

Notwithstanding, my excited heart has not been changed…