Feeling very productive lately :D

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Staring at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, I was shocked.

I looked okay, normal even. Inside, the ache for him gnawed at the very heart that still beats endlessly for him.

I pulled my lips into a smile, and let out a frightened sob when I realise that anyone could easily mistake this lacklustre grin for real happiness.

It amazed me to think; how could I look so ordinarily normal when I have crumbled inside?

“Mummy!” A shrill voice interrupted my thoughts.

I turned my head towards the direction of the sound and found my daughter trotting towards me.

The ache of longing to be with him echoed through the very marrow of my bones. It was a chill wind trapped in the chambers of my heart.

With every spare moment my mind would rehearse a new letter to him. And as the allotted time for his return drew nearer, time herself seemed to slow to such a leisurely pace she seemed cruel to me, ringing out the seconds, so that final week felt like a month.

I never knew that missing someone could take over every fibre of your being and wring you out like a wet sponge every day.

It was a torment I was unprepared for.

“Hello sleephyhead!” I cooed quietly as I picked her up into my arms.

Eunjung made everything much more bearable. “Did you sleep well?”

She nodded her head and pressed a kiss to my cheek.

Bom blinked her eyes as she noticed the both of us walking into the living room. “Bom! Bom! Bom!” She squealed happily and clapped her hands.

My soft lips stretched into a smile. I seemed to have forgotten what had been making me miserable for the past few months.

Their aromatic fragrance overpowered every other scent that lingered in the room. Its delectable aroma aded the air- a melange of honey dew, orange preserves and dabs of crackling nuts.

She scrunched her nose as she inhaled the sweet scent. “Mommy!” Eunjung pointed to the kitchen.

Ahhh, the smell of freshly baked cookies.

Her mummy made the best cookies. She always asked how she made them so tasty. But her mummy does not seem to always understand what she’s trying to say.

Oh well, all that mattered was the cookies anyway.

Eunjung smirked to herself.  A smirk she absolutely adores and does her very best to imitate whenever she is alone with the bathroom mirror.

I guessed all that napping had left her hungry.

I turned to the girl in my arms and found her smiling weirdly. “What are you thinking of?”

She gave me her famous gummy smile and pointed her finger to her lips. “See-surt.”

“Oh, a secret?” I asked, amused.

So very tempting to grab and simply indulge in this decadent pleasure, or to merely inhale the gorgeous scent it emanated from its baked, warm depths.

I grabbed the cookie and held it in front of the toddler. Two could play the game.

Taking the first bite, a delightful flavour flooded my mouth, and my senses basked in its luscious taste.

“Mummy!” She thrashed wildly in my hold.

There was a friable crunch, tangs of zest, pangs of acidity, all to coalesce to form a truly delicious dish- orange honey baked cookies. “Mmmmm.” I smacked my lips loudly just to infuriate her.

The girl stopped her thrashing. Her eyes began to water, her lips were quivering. It looked like she was about to cry. “Okay, okay. I won’t do it anymore. Here!”

The cookie immediately stopped her tears.

She flashed me a smile before wriggling in my arms. I let her down on the ground and scoffed.

Kim Eunjung tricked me.

Again.

“Here’s your bowl. Don’t let the crumbs fall, okay?” I reminded and handed her a yellow bowl.

She shook her body from side to side, making small dancing motions.

I felt my mouth twitched and found myself fighting a smile from forming.

Sitting herself comfortably on the floor, she began nibbling on the biscuit. Occasionally the dog would come up to her and she would allow him to her bowl without her mummy’s knowledge.

Then her eyes perked up at the sound of movement behind the door.

Eunjung’s eyes widened and her jaws slackened in disbelief.

The smile he showed on the outside couldn't adequately reflect what he felt inside; it was like every neuron of his brain was trying to fire in both directions at once - the best kind of paralysis.

She gasped. Her heart swelled joyously at the unexpected arrival of her father. He pointed a finger to his lips, signalling that his arrival was strictly a secret for now and her mummy must not know.

Without hesitation, she launched herself at him like a tiny canon-ball, just as he had removed the navy bag from across his chest. JongIn caught her in his strong arms and hoisted her up into the air like she weighed little more than a feather.

Eunjung’s small arms wrapped tightly around his neck, and she smiled into his shoulder as she breathed him in. He smelled like a pleasing mixture of rain and mist, sweat and soap; the reassuring scent of her daddy. He hugged her close, closing his eyes as he momentarily lost himself in the incomparable peace of holding his precious, only child in his arms for the first time in six long months.

“Eunjung,” he murmured. His lips were on top of her head, brushing affectionately over her hair as he nuzzled her.

“Daddy,” her voice muffled against him. “Nooo-nooo.”

“I won’t go anywhere.” He assured her quietly.

Her grip on him tightened further. He understood what she was trying to say through her actions.

I miss you…

“Where is mummy?” He asked in a low voice, for he was eager to see his wife.

“Cookie,” She said simply and showered her father’s face with kisses.

“Daddy surprise mummy?” A small scheming smile on Eunjung’s face mirrored his as she fiddled with the collar of his shirt.

Eunjung had gone too quiet for my liking. I was getting suspicious and worried.

I had no idea what sort of mischief she was up to.

Heading towards the living room, I did not noticed anything was out of the ordinary.

It took a second or two for the new information to sink it, even though it was right before my eyes, larger than life.

He's made it. He's here.

Suddenly my defences were just paper, paper that was being soaked by the rapidly falling briny drops.

Before I could draw in the air my body needed I had melted into his form. I could feel his firm torso and the heart that beats within.

His hands were folded around my back, drawing me in closer.

And in the seconds that follow I could feel him squeezing his arms around me and my arms reciprocating. No longer was he pixelated and two dimensional; he was warm, fragranced and soft.

There was something so warm, something that felt right, smelt right. I let my body sag, my muscles become loose.

I could feel my body shake, crying for the missed time we will never make back, crying to release the tension of these six long months. He pulled his head back and wiped the tears with a calloused finger, even this roughness brought more relief than my heart could hold.

He was eating me with his eyes, running his hand through my hair, as if he couldn't quite believe I was not part of an almost forgotten dream.

When he kissed me, it was sweet, gentle, and it tasted of my tears.

I wanted to speak but all I could do was croak, "Don't go, not again."

His mouth painted a soft smile and he nodded once before folding me in his arms again.

“Daddy, Eunjung too!” She pointed to her lips.

Suddenly, I was laughing so hard I couldn’t stop.

We were all together again.

Later that night …

*insert the smirking face emoticon*

Before the door had even closed JongIn wrapped his arms around me from behind.

One inhale of his musky scent and I wanted to turn around.

His right hand dropped to my thigh, pulling up the skirt that hung so loose just above my knees. I couldn't move even if I tried, like his fingers have short circuited my mind in the best possible way.

He turned me around and we tumbled to the bed, his eyes searching mine. I smiled and kissed him back as he knew I would.

With my lips I felt his mouth stretching wider than it should, fighting between a grinning and kissing.

JongIn’s finger tips were electric, they must be, for wherever they touch my skin tingled in a frenzy of static.

As his hands moved over my skin my body had a transitory paralysis, my mind unable to process the pleasure so fast. His head moved around to my left ear and he whispered what's coming next.

Suddenly my body was off pause-mode and I pulled back for a kiss that's both soft and hard.

Both of us move in an intoxicated dance of limbs, never making the exact same moves twice.

We've done this so many times and it keeps on getting better.

He's my cat-nip, I'm his whiskey on ice.