CHAPTER 54: MUTUAL FEELINGS
Love and Hate Relationship
CHAPTER 54 MUTUAL FEELINGS
AWKWARD!!!!!
So awkward to the point that I want to dig a hole and buried myself there until my body becomes rotten. Xyza is really mad at me, that's a fact. I can't blame her or anyone else, I only blame myself. I cheated on her, I made a mistake and I can't just rewind the things I've made before to make it right.
"What are you doing here?" Hyung is by my side without my knowledge. "What's wrong? Any problem?"
"I'm not comfortable."
"Its because of Xyza?"
"Yes. It feels like i'm not part of the group."
"Why don't you talk to her?"
"How can I do that? Every time i'm about to walk up to her, she will walk away from me. It feels like I have some kind of contagious disease." I rake my hair with my fingers while sighing repeatedly.
"At least she's not shouting and cursing at your face." Hyung look at me. I turn and saw Xyza, she's talking to Carla and Suengri.
"I know that hyung but I will choose those time while she's really mad at me instead of ignoring me."
"Aren't you thankful?" Hyung chuckles. "Its peaceful. No shouting. Everybody are just chilling."
"I know. I can't remember the time we have this kind of night. Peaceful."
"But you have to be honest with me Jiyong. You missed her right?"
"Yes." I look at hyung and lit another cigarette. "I mean she's nice, lovely, appreciative and not hard to love."
"Unlike Chel?" He said and puff his own cigarette.
"Chel's different from Xyza." I said.
"Way more different." He chuckles and shakes his head. "You have to admit that." He points his cigarette to me and chuckled some more.
"I know. They're the opposite of each other."
"Then why bother staying with the not so good girl?" We both stop and turn around when there's a sudden commotion. It turns out that Youngbae's wine glass suddenly slipped from his hands. "We all know that Chel is not good for you or to anyone else."
"Its called LOVE hyung." I look at him.
"If another person tells me that, I will believe it but coming from your mouth its more like suicidal instead of love."
"I know you're still mad at her hyung." I let go of the cigarette stick and step on it. "You should start to like her because i'm keeping her." The way hyung's face crumpled made me laugh so hard.
"Are you ing serious?"
"Yes I am. What are you going to do about it."
"I will remove you from my list of friends."
"Let's see if you can do it." I laugh one more time and shake my head. "If you're done let's go back and join them."
"Are you going to talk to Xyza?"
"I still don't know hyung."
The both of us walk towards the gazebo, the night is a little bit chilly but its tolerable. Actually I can't still s*cked up the whole going abroad for two years to study again thing, I mean I got shocked when I heard that from maknae. I know that's best for Xyza but just by thinking that another two years without seeing her made my mind go on protest. It feels like a part of me will be gone.
"Jiyong." I stop walking.
"What hyung?"
"Do you still love her?"
"Yes." I said and he just smile.
"But you can't love two girls at the same time."
"And you can't sleep with other girl especially when you're married." I smirk and starts to walk again.
"Damn you!" I heard him say but I just shake my head while smiling.
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XYZA'S POV
I shouldn't be here right now, I told myself that after this project I will head back to Manila because I have tons of work there but here I am in the pension celebrating umma's birthday. I still call her umma because that's what I call her from the start. Then there's Carla and Seung Hyun's problem, talking about infidelity! I've never imagined that he will cheat on her and if I have the opportunity to see that other girl, for sure my devil side will be unleashed.
"Are you okay now?" I hold Carla's hand and look at her. The minute I found out about the incident I immediately left my work here and go to Seoul to meet up with her.
"Yup, i'm good." She smiled.
"So how are you and Seung Hyun?"
"Still the same."
"If you need someone to talk to, you know that i'm here for you."
"I know that Xyza." She smiled again. "You, how are you?"
"I'm good." I said and sip my red wine. Even though I hate Seung Hyun as of the moment, I have to give him a thumbs up for this wonderful red wine.
"I heard that you're going to Europe."
"Yah! I'm going to study there for 2 years." I sip again my wine. I can't find any words because I saw Jiyong a couple of inches away from us.
"There's a lot of nice universities in Manila? Why bother going to a different country?"
"Its also my chance to travel and vacation." Actually the truth is i'm not going anywhere. I will just stay in Manila for that period of time. I just want to be by myself. For the past two years all I do is work in the morning and cry myself to sleep at night. "You know that I love to travel, right?"
"We all know that but were going to miss you. Two years is a long period of time."
"Two years will be over in a blink of an eye." I fake a smile. Who am I kidding? Two years is a long period of time and i'm a living proof of it."Can I ask you something?" I lower my voice down and look at our surrounding, making sure that Seung Hyun is out of earshot.
"Sure.What?"
"Are you still pursuing the divorce?"
"Yes." She said in a heartbeat. I know what Seung Hyun did is not forgivable but it makes me sad that a perfect relationship and family will be broken.
"Can't the both of you just talk it out? Even just for the kids?"
"You know Xyza, I don't believe that if you have a child together you have to work out the relationship for them. My kids are smart and when they grow up I know that they will understand me why do I end up on this kind of decision." She smiled. "Don't worry. Everything will be fine."
"How can you say that?" I whisper to her. "If you decide to break up with your husband your family will be broken. Your kids will be included to a broken family. Can't you just fight for it? For the marriage?"
"Can I ask you?" She said and I nod. "Why didn't you fight for Jiyong?"
"Because he cheated on me and I can't trust him anymore."
"See my point now?" She look at me, smiling.
"What we have is different from yours and Seung Hyun."
"Its all the same Xyza. Why didn't you fight for him?"
I frown at her. Why didn't I fight for him? I don't know what's the answer to that either. I just shrugged my shoulder and chug the remaining wine in my glass, Carla look at me and chuckled. She have a point but I don't deserve that kind of bullsh*t in my life. I know I've been so harsh with Jiyong the last time we saw each other and i'm thankful at the same time sad that he didn't do anything to talk to me, I've never been hurt before in my life like what I've experience from him.
"Can you at least listen to him. Hear his side of the story?"
"Did you let Jiyong explain when you heard about him and Chel?"
"Carla please." I sigh. "Don't asked me the question i'm asking you. You're married and i'm not. You have kids and I don't have any. We're in a different situation."
"We're in the same situation. Its just that I have a husband and kids while you're just in a relationship with Jiyong."
"Let's not compare each other okay?" Jeez! Breaking up with Jiyong almost kill me what more if we're married. "Do you want me to talk to him and asked about him and that girl?"
"I already know the story and I don't care if that's the whole thing. All I know is that he cheated on me. All I know is that his d*ck invaded another p*ssy."
"Nice explanation." I said with a smug. She can just say that he slept with another girl, why she used the term d*ck and p*ssy? "After the divorce are you going to have some kind of agreement regarding the kids?"
"I'm going to have the sole custody of my children."
"But he's the dad."
"And he had s*x with another girl."
"I'm so sorry that you're in this situation."
"Are you planning to talk to Jiyong?" Whoa! 360 degrees change of subject.
"No! Why would I? I don't have any thing to say to him."
"When will you go back to Manila?"
"2 days from now, why?"
"Can I come with you? Its the kids vacation from school. I want to see my parents. I want to catch up with friends."
"Sure. Is it okay with Seung Hyun?"
"He doesn't have any choice."
This is what I hate about having a boyfriend or a husband. Its not always a happy ending. It s*cks!
"But you still love him?"
"Huh?" I look at Carla." What?"
"Do you still love him?"
"Yes."
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