CHAPTER 47: MY BIGGEST MISTAKE (PART 3)
Love and Hate Relationship
CHAPTER 47 MY BIGGEST MISTAKE (PART 3)
I slipped a couple of times while performing in an event in Tokyo, the crew and staff keeps on apologizing to me, they think that its because of the stage layout but the truth is i'm not in my usual self. My mind is still in the airport, still with Xyza. The hurt mixed with anger in her eyes never leave my mind, the way she stepped back when I try to hold her hand, the way she walked passed through me as if she doesn't care makes my heart hurt so bad.
She haven't done anything wrong to me but I reciprocate it with hurt and betrayal, she cared for me a lot. The moment I met her we became friends, she comforted me when I have problems. I fell in love with her and thanked God she fell for me as well, I thought everything will be okay and smooth but I messed up. I messed up a lot, I messed up big time. I hope I can rewind everything, rewind that night but....
Here I am again, instead of going to Xyza and talk to her... i'm with Chel, sharing a bed with her.
"Are you going?"
"Yes, my flight is tonight."
"Going back to Seoul?" She asked. "I thought you're staying here until tomorrow night?"
"Change of plans." I stand up and grab my clothes and put it on me.
"What am I supposed to do here alone?"
"Its not my problem anymore."
"Wait for me, i'll rebooked my flight." She hurriedly grab her phone and call the airline company.
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When I park my car in front of my villa, my heart started to pound. A couple of lights are particularly in the master bedroom and I only think of one person. Xyza. I hurriedly get out of my car then run towards the main door, I frown when the door is open she never left the door unlocked but I didn't mind. I rushed inside, I run. Its been just two days but I missed her so much.
"Xyza!" I shout. "Babe!"
"Jiyong?" My frown deepens, the voice doesn't belong to my girl and when the person emerges from the walk in closet, disappointment floods through me.
"Laura, what are you doing here?" I feel weak, so weak that I have to hold on to the wall.
"I just need to grab some of her things," She said.
"Some things?" I look at the side of Xyza's closet. "You took everything. It's empty."
"I'm sorry. She's supposed to be the one who will get her things but she's busy right now."
"I see." I sigh. "You packed all her stuff and load it in your car?"
"No. Carla and Seungri helped me but when they realized that you're not alone in your car they both run back to the other villa." She glanced at my back and I know she's looking at Chel.
"Where's Xyza?"
"She should be in her apartment right now, our flight is tonight."
"What?" I said in shocked. "Flight?"
"We have work in Indonesia, we will stay there until the project is done."
"I'm going to bring the things to her. I'll just transfer it from your car to mine."
"Okay. I need to grab something from the office." Laura said and went back inside the walk in closet while I walk towards the garage.
"Jiyong, you're going to leave me here?" I forgot Chel is still here.
"No, go back to your hotel."
"But..." I turn around and face her.
"Look." I rake my hair. "What happen in the pension is wrong, i'm drunk."
"But what happen in Tokyo isn't, you're not drunk last night." She stops. "Let's talk i'll wait here."
I look at her, she's right last night is not a mistake and I don't know what's really happening to me. I just ignore her and load Xyza's things in my car while waiting for Laura.
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XYZA'S POV
My head is still buzzing when I arrive back to my apartment, I didn't attempt to drive because i'm not in the right state of mind. I cry my heart out for the past two days, I don't know what to do anymore, I don't know how to pick up the pieces.
"Jiyong?" I look at him standing in front of my apartment with a couple of boxes beside him. "What are you doing here?"
"I found Laura in my villa packing all your things. Is this really the end of us?"
"You're the only one who can answer that." I said and open the door. "You know the code why didn't you just come in?"
"I thought you might get mad."
"Come in."
"So are you going to Indonesia?"
"Yes. Remember Mrs. Jung?" I look at him briefly then turn around to put down my bag and remove my coat. "She wants me to design their family resort there, since its expensive to travel back and forth I suggest that I should stay there until the project is done."
"I see. Why didn't I know about this?"
"Its supposed to start next year but they need the family resort for a reunion earlier than expected."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."
"I'm sorry as well." I turn around to face him. "I didn't let you explain."
"No, I totally understand you." He walks to my direction and hold my hand. "I should have told you sooner about it."
"Its fine." I smile weakly. "Thank you for everything. I think you really love her."
"No!" He shakes his head. "I choose you babe. I love you."
"You choose her the moment you decide to sleep with her." I said. "Last night the two of you are together again right? If you really choose me over her that thing wouldn't happen again."
"Please hear me out babe." Panic is evident in his voice.
"Jiyong, you're not drunk last night and she didn't seduce you. I get it, you still love her."
"What?"
"Chel texted me last night and she told me everything." I chuckled like a lunatic. "Don't worry i'm not mad."
"You got it all wrong." He said. "Its just a mistake."
"Jiyong, it will never worked out between us." I caress his cheeks. "I'm going to Indonesia for a long period of time and to be honest with you I can't give my trust back."
"But..."
"Jiyong." I cut him off. "It will never worked out."
"Let me make it up to you." He hugs me. "Please. Babe. Don't do this to me."
"Jiyong, why don't you try it again? Give her another chance, obviously you still care for her. You still love her." I said. "Maybe i'm just an instrument for you to realized that you still have feelings for her."
"I love you." He kiss the top of my head. "I really do."
"And you still loved her." I kiss his cheeks and hug him again.
"Please don't leave me, I promise you that I will be a good boyfriend and partner to you."
"I'm letting you go." I take a step back. "You will be fine. You and Chel will be fine."
"No. Me and her are not getting back together."
"Jiyong, please." I sigh. "Just leave. I have a lot of things to do, my flight is tonight. you should go."
"Can I atleast take you to the airport?"
"No need. Me and Laura will be fine."
"Will you contact me?"
"I'll try."
"I'll call you everyday."
"Okay." I smile. "Go now."
"Xyza, i'm really sorry we end up this way." He sigh. "I think you are right, i'm still in love with her. I just ignore it."
"Talk to her then." I push him towards the door. "It will be fine." I stare at him.
"Have a safe trip."
"Bye."
"Bye." He finally said and I gently close the door.
My breathing is uneven, I make my way to the room and slumped myself on the bed, holding my chest firmly. It hurts a lot, I never thought it will be this painful. When Chel texted me last night I thought that was the most painful thing in the world but i'm wrong. Hearing from the man I love the most say that he realized he still love his ex, is way more painful. I think i'm going to die when he blurted out those words, I wiped the tears on my face I don't have any energy left. I close my eyes and praying so hard that God would let me sleep just for a couple of hours for me to escape momentarily this heartache.
For me to escape this reality, I thought a couple of days ago that this is all a bad dream and when I woke up Jiyong will be beside me. I envision that he will take away all my worries, he will hug me tight and assured me that everything is just a st*pid dream. I'm sure that he is the one for me that's why I gave him myself, my purity, my v*rginity. I vow to myself that I will give it to my one true love. Yes, he is my one true love but he have other true love and it's not me.
I close my eyes tightly still holding my chest, its hard to breathe. I pray harder, so hard I called all the saints I know and then finally drifts to sleep.
"Thanked God." I blurted out before the darkness engulf me.
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"I told you to go back to your hotel, why are you still here?"
"I told you we need to talk."
"About what? Aren't you tired of our situation? We will make up then fight again and break up." I sigh. Letting go of Xyza seems killing my own self. "I don't want to talk now, just leave i'm tired."
"I'm sorry." She look at me and I don't know what happen but I grab her by the waist and hug her tightly. "I'm really sorry for leaving you."
"Shhhhhhh." I rub her back gently. "Its fine, that's all I need to hear from you. Its fine."
"I'm an id*ot Jiyong. I thought Tyrese is the one for me."
"Don't cry. I love you." I'm the id*ot in this situation, I know this is a wrong decision. Wrong choice of words and I don't know if wrong choice of girl.
"I love you too." She sobs and look at me. "How about Xyza?"
"We talked." I simply said.
"And?" She kiss my chest as if teasing me.
"Nothing." I hug her tightly.
"So are we good? I mean are we together again?"
"I don't know." I kiss her lips. "Let's take it slow this time."
"Sleep with me. Make love with me. I will show you how much I love you." She said staring at me. Hypnotizing me and again we end up in one of the rooms but not in my bedroom, I don't want Xyza's memories in my bed tainted by Chel.
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