CHAPTER 22: THE PROPOSAL
Love and Hate Relationship
CHAPTER 22 THE PROPOSAL
It's our last day in Paris, every time I have the guts to proposed to her I suddenly back out, I suddenly feel uneasy. I didn't even enjoy the trip. All this time i'm always thinking, always weighing things, always thinking all the 'what if's'. Trying to figure out what shall I do. I think this situation for more than a million times, negative reasons looms on top of my head. I love her that's for sure, I care about her, I see future with her but the question is... IS SHE WORTH TO KEEP?
Is she worth to love? I hate the thought that she cheated on me but I hate myself more because I allow her to be part of my life again. Things like this made me more confused and i'm starting to hate this vacation. I hate the fact that i'm in this situation. I hate the fact that i'm doubting her, doubting her love for me, doubting her loyalty and honesty to me. Doubting her faithfulness to me and our relationship.
"I don't want to go back to reality." She whines beside me. "Can we stay for another week?"
"We can't." I say. "And you know that."
"I don't want to go back to work."
"Me too."
"Then let's stay here."
"I have work, we have work."
"But..."
"We have to work to earn money baby, let's be realistic and beside its for our future."
"Fine."
"Baby, let's get married." I said and she choked.
"What?"
"Let's get married." I breathe uneven, this is it there's no turning back now.
"Why?"
"What do you mean why?" I scoff. "Will you marry me?"
"Are you proposing?" She look at me. "Where's the ring?"
"Here." I open the ring box. "Will you marry me baby?"
"NO." She said with authority. "I told you i'm in love with someone else. I'm just using you."
"I thought you love me?" I gaped at her. "I thought you can't leave without me."
"No... i'm not in love with you." She face me then throw the ring. "God Jiyong! You're so ing st*pid, I keep pushing you away but you keep crawling back to me." She scoff then slap me hard. "I can't love you! Stop following me around like a pet." She give me one last look then walk away from me.
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I jerk awake, beads of sweat on my forehead, my breathing is uneven. I look at Chel and she's sleeping peacefully beside me. Damn that ing dream! What is that supposed to mean? We will go back tomorrow to Seoul and I still haven't proposed to her, I still can't think straight. I breathe a couple of times before lying down again, I hug her tightly not wanting to let my baby go. I'm still confused but I don't want her to leave me again, I don't want her to say those words she say in my dream. I want us to be together but i'm not sure about forever.
"Jiyong what do you want?" She mumbles and swat my hand away.
"Nothing. Go back to sleep." I lie on my back and stare at the ceiling.
I sigh again for the nth time and glance at my wristwatch, it's 2:22 in the morning. I count mentally so it means its 9:22 in the morning in Seoul right now, I hope the boys are awake, I open the group chat and start to type a message.
ME:
Anyone awake?
(I wait... and wait... and wait... Damn it!)
T.O.P:
Why?
ME:
Hyung.. Help!
YOUNGBAE:
Help with what?
SUENGRI:
We all know what's his problem.
DAESUNG:
Did you proposed already hyung?
ME:
No... not yet..I don't know
SUENGRI:
Still thinking?
(And there's a picture included, he and Xyza. They're in Busan)
T.O.P:
That's why we don't see you for a couple of days, you're in Busan with your sweetheart.
SUENGRI:
I'm here for vacation. My sweetheart say hi to all of you.
DAESUNG:
When will you come back maknae?
ME:
Excuse me but i'm the one who have a problem here not you Seungri-ah.
YOUNGBAE:
If you're not sure don't proposed. We've had this talk since we've all been to the pension Jiyong.
ME:
I have the weirdest dream earlier, when I proposed to her she told me she doesn't love me.
T.O.P:
There you go, don't proposed.
ME:
Hyung!
DAESUNG:
DON'T RUSH THINGS!!!!
(I take a deep steady breath)
ME:
Fine. See all of you when I get back.
SUENGRI:
Okay hyung. Let's go on vacation, just the five of us. What do my hyung's think?
YOUNGBAE:
Cool. Where?
DAESUNG:
When?
T.O.P:
Let's do it before we go to Busan.
ME:
Okay! Let's talk and plan when I comeback. Bye.
(I close the group chat and close my eyes)
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After a week of debating and searching the net the five of us decides to go to Prague, of course with our managers and it's going to be a boys vacation and all of us are freaking excited. Yes its been a week since me and Chel got back from our Paris vacation.
"I'm excited for our vacation." Maknae grins to us. "Can't wait to meet a lot of girls."
"I think you're the only one who is excited."
"Of course. All of you are taken." He wink at us and the four of us shudder.
"So?" Daesung raise an eyebrow.
"It means more girls for me." He points at himself. "But let me be clear nobody knows where are we going right? Right?" He continues while pointing at us.
"No one knows." Youngbae look at him.
"Even our wives." Hyung continues.
"Good! No wives. no girlfriend and no sweetheart." He squeals. "Two weeks of pure happiness." He smiles. "I didn't even tell sweetheart our vacation."
"Thank goodness, for once you shut your mouth." I smirk.
"Of course I don't want to ruin it hyung."
Everything are set. Tickets, hotel, our itinerary which I hope that we can stick on it. Places we really want to go especially bars just like backpacking experience. I grin to myself, I think this is what I need the most. Time for myself to think for my future, work and everything in between. This vacation is important for the five of us as well, as a group, as brothers, as friends. Just the five of us with our managers who knows all are screts.
"Good thing your wives didn't ask where are we going." Seungri suddenly blurted out, eyeing the three married man.
"Because they trust us." Hyung said.
"Trust? I just heard Carla earlier, she told you that you better behave and not to look to other girls." He laughs. "Then I heard Martha, she told Daesung hyung that if he cheated she will dug his eyes out."
"How did you know that?" I ask.
"I told you hyung I heard them." He continues. "Then Glaiza said she will cut off Youngbae hyung's balls and sell it online." He clutches his stomach and laughs non-stop. "Girls! They are the sweetest but can turn into a beast in just a snap of the finger."
"Can you please just stop it." Daesung hit his back with a throw pillow.
"Listening to other people's conversation." I scoff.
"I can't wait to go to Prague." He stands up and stretches both arms. I lean on the chair and just look at the sky, were in the balcony of my villa, smiling from ear to ear.
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FLASHBACK
"Baby, I have something to tell you." I whisper to her not wanting the other passengers in the business class of the plane to hear our conversation.
"What?" She ask. We both stared at each other then I smile.
"You know how much I love you right?" I whisper again and she nods, buckling her seat belt.
"Why?"
"Will you marry me?" I drop the one million dollar question as I open the ring box in front of her. "I know this is not the ideal proposal you imagine but I want you to know how much I love you."
"Are you kidding me?" She look at me then at the ring. "Really? You're proposing to me?"
"Yes! Will you marry me and spend the rest of your life with the one and only Kwon Jiyong?" I smile.
"Yes!" She answer with a nod. "Wait! You're serious right? You're not joking?"
"I'm totally serious." I stare intently at her. "Is that a yes?"
"Yes!" She smiles and nod furiously again. I slipped the ring in her finger and kiss her lips. "I love you."
"I love you too baby."
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