Chapter 54: Bleeding Love

|Narrator’s Perspective|

CL ran as fast as she could, her legs working mechanically as her feet hit the asphalt sidewalk in a consistent beat that matched her racing heart. Outside, the rain was still coming down hard enough that CL was soaked to her bones. Her clothes were starting to become heavy with the increasing weight of the absorbed water. The wind howled so ferociously in CL’s ears that it brought chills and goose bumps all over her body, but she was oblivious to this all. The adrenaline blocked out all possible thoughts of cold or pain. At this moment, all she could think was finally being with him, in Jiyong's arms. She wanted to apologize to him. She wanted to cry to him. She wanted to hug him. She wanted to kiss him. Most importantly, she wanted to tell him how much she loved him.

CL made a right turn onto the street that led down to the café. She had heard from Dara that he had gone straight to work this morning. Luckily, it was only a few minutes away from Kris’s house. She usually avoided going down this road—because she feared seeing Jiyong or even TOP—but finally seeing the familiar shops and stores made CL’s emotions soar.

CL grinned as she put in the last bit of her strength and sprinted down the hill. She could see the café through the fog, but it was still a good distance away. She probably resembled a delusional person as she pumped her arms as fast as she could… and she acknowledged it. She was a crazy person—madly in love.

* * *

            “Can we just get one crème brûlée to share?” two young girls placed the menu down and gazed at the waiter, their eyes sparkling in pure admiration at the man in front of them.

            “Coming right up. It will be only a few minutes,” Jiyong said robotically as he tucked his notepad in his front pocket.

His voice held no emotion and his face was expressionless. Jiyong knew he wasn’t being himself, but he couldn’t prevent it. He felt like crap so he expressed that feeling. He wasn’t the type who could hide it and plaster a smile on his face forgetting about everything. At times he wished he really was that type of person… but ultimately he wasn’t.

 He knew someone who was though…CL. She knew how to hide her feelings well. Normally, it drove Jiyong mad not knowing what she was feeling or thinking, but it was something he had grown to love about her. As he became closer to her, he could slowly see through her acts. After being with her for so long, she was as easier to read than a children's book. He could decipher when she was upset, mad, frustrated, happy, and jealous. It was all in her eyes. He noticed it when she talked about Dara, her eyes portraying her love. And when she saw Dara hurt, her eyes were the first to show the pain. Her eyes were so beautiful that his heart ached at not being able to lay his own eyes on them again.

            Jiyong had thought he had mastered it, being able to read her emotions. He felt special that he was the only one who knew what CL truly was feeling, but after all that happened, he had realized that his ability was useless. If he had truly known CL, he would have known what was making her upset and what had eventually caused her to run away.

Shaking out of his miserable thoughts Jiyong placed his attention back onto his customers. The two girls said their thanks, but he could see their worried faces. They were most likely pondering what was wrong with him. A lot of his customers were looking at him in the exact same way—even Seungri and the others. He knew that he didn’t look too well, but he wished that they could pretend everything was alright. He just needed one day where no one was asking if he was okay because he didn’t deserve that kind of concern from anyone. Not after recognizing how awful he was at caring for others. 

            Jiyong thought that during time he spent with Dara, he was protecting her from harm. However, from last night it became evident to him that such was not the case. He had always assumed that if he didn’t get her involved in anything, she would be fine. They could carry on. But, hearing her admit the pain she was in while Jiyong was by her side had jerked him awake. He always saw himself as her big brother, protecting and caring for her, but he couldn’t even do that. What made him think he could treat CL better? Clearly the last time they met didn’t go well either.

            Just the thought of it brought a stinging in his cheek; it was no different than the pain he felt in his heart. He was terrified that night. The idea of CL hating him shook his core. Jiyong didn’t think he could bear to face another day. But of course, he had to. That’s life. You have to move on and never give up, because if you do, you will only feel remorse for all that you did not do. 

He nodded at his customers and headed towards the back of the café. He could feel their gazes steadying on his back, and as he swung open the door to the kitchen, he could hear their concerned whispers. They were usual customers that came once, sometimes even twice, a week after their school’s band practice. He would always treat them nicely, offer them extra dessert, or make them laugh with jokes—normally all about Seungri and his embarrassing moments.

Jiyong sighed as he dropped his tray on the counter and communicated the order to one of the employees. Placing his silver platter on the counter beside him, he headed out to the front and sat on a high stool, his usual spot. Since today was a week day, the café wasn’t busy. He left the rest of the customers to Seungri. Jiyong glanced to his left and saw the empty seats beside him. It was Dara and CL’s regular spot. They would sit there all the time either doing homework or the usual gossiping while he worked. He had told them to just go home and not wait up for him, but they always insisted on staying. CL had always presumed it was because Jiyong was annoyed by their presence, but in truth Jiyong was happy that they stayed. Just their company in the café was enough to make Jiyong forget every concern in his life.

Now, without their presence, he felt as though he was suddenly removed from a warm tropical rainforest into a cold deserted cave with no opening. Jiyong sighed and rested his head against the cool granite of the bar.

“If you don’t put a smile on that sappy face, I will put you in time out. You’re making all my customers sad,” TOP said, appearing from behind the counter while cleaning one of the wine glasses and placing it back in the cabinet. He was dressed in an all-black tuxedo with only the silver of his rings on his fingers glinting in the light.

“Sorry hyung,” Jiyong responded genuinely.

TOP stepped back, his jaw opening ajar and his eyes widening.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Jiyong questioned.

“Did Kwon Jiyong just apologize to me? Like really say the forbidden words … to me? Omo! I think we needed to celebrate! Cold-hearted Jiyong’s first emotional apology to Choi Seunghyun!” TOP clapped his hands in sheer joy.

Jiyong slammed his head against the table top as he muttered a few curse words that weren’t worthy of repeating.

“Fine I’ll stop,” TOP promised as he placed the white drying cloth into the laundry bin. Normally at work, TOP was able to make Jiyong feel better, enough for him to get through the day. But, TOP knew whatever happened this time had been really bad. TOP didn’t ask about it because he knew Jiyong needed his space. He also knew that Jiyong would eventually tell him.

A few moments of silence passed before TOP broke it.

“Everything will get better Jiyong,” TOP’s hard eyes showed his sincerity, but Jiyong didn’t have the same hope TOP did.

“I don’t think it will,” Jiyong honestly replied as he shook his head.

“Oh my god!” one of the customers at the front of café screamed as they stood up in shock. Her and her friend ran up to the window. Suddenly all of the remaining customers started to shuffle out of the café. TOP looked to Jiyong, his eyes curved in confusion as he ran up to the front.

As TOP reached the entrance of the café TOP already felt something amiss, he just couldn’t put his finger on it. As he opened the door to his café he saw through the pouring rain two ambulances, one fire truck, and three cop cars. The lights of the emergency vehicles danced throughout the grey fog. He could barely make out a truck flipped on its back where it had crashed into an electric pole. The electricity box at the top made sparking and static noises as electric charges zapped around it. TOP presumed that it was a tragic accident most likely caused by the terrible weather.

“Everyone please head back into the café. It is dangerous for us to be standing out here in the rain,” TOP ushered. No one moved at his words as they all found the scene fascinating. They took pictures as they gazed on. TOP was about to speak again when a fire fighter arrived, seeing the large group of curious eyes. He too requested they move back into the building. Finally, the people listened and TOP leaded them back into the café. After the customers settled and sat back in their seats, TOP headed up to Jiyong.

“There was an accident outside, probably caused by the rain and fog. Can you go check with the police what happened out there? I just want to make sure if the people in the café are in any danger since it’s raining and one of the power lines has been taken down” TOP instructed, his voice becoming hard and serious.

Jiyong nodded as he got up from his seat. He went to the front of the café where the customers were spurting out possible scenarios as to what could have happened. He went outside and realized that he left his ja