Chapter 45: Heartbroken

|Chaerin's Perspective|

            I didn’t think that Jiyong, Dara and I would end up at the hospital again. Thankfully not many students or teachers were hurt, only a few minor burns here and there. Dara was really lucky she only sprained her hand, and had no burns. She had only passed out because of the large amount of carbon dioxide; hence why we are at the hospital.

            I went out to go get some water for Jiyong since he was so parched, while he stayed back in Dara's hospital room where she had fallen asleep. As I reached the place I couldn’t help but overhear Jiyong.

            "I'm so sorry Dara. I can't believe I let something happen to you again. I wasn't there for you and now look at you. I can't possibly hope to be more than just a friend if I can't even protect you. . ."
            I inhaled a gasp. Jiyong likes Dara? It couldn't be. . .
            "I love you Dara and I am sorry that I couldn’t keep my promise"

I covered my mouth to withhold my sobs. Jiyong likes Dara. Of course, I hadn't expected that outcome didn’t even think that as a possibility. Oh how naïve I have become. I never considered who Jiyong might like!
 

             I shut my eyes tight to stop my body from shaking. I felt my heart shattering all over again. I was happy for Dara but at the same time as a human I couldn’t help but have selfish thoughts. I was ultimately hurt and I had no idea what to do. Do I act like nothing happened? Do I watch Jiyong and Dara get closer? Will I even be able to handle that happening?

            A corridor door opened and I saw TOP walk in. Jiyong must have called him. I hid so he wouldn’t see me. I couldn’t handle them seeing me like this. When TOP entered I stayed close to the door and listened.

            "Jiyong man you look horrible" TOP noticed.
            "It's kind of hard not to when you almost lost your best friend and it's your fault"
            "Jiyong how could you blame yourself for something like this? From what I grasp you are the one who saved her"
            "I know but I had promised her nothing would happen to her again. I didn’t want to see her in this hospital bed like this, again. The first time was hard enough. She already is so fragile and has gone through so much. I can't bare it."
            "Jiyong I understand . . . "     
            "No hyung you don't. You don’t know what it feels like to almost lose someone close to you almost twice, and break a promise when you fail to save them"
            "It unimaginable I am sure."
            "It is"

A few minutes of silence passed as I stood there and listened. My heart was beating loud in my ears.
            "You love her don’t you? You love Dara" TOP pried.
My breath hitched. This is it. The question I wanted to know all along.
            "Yes"
 

            A whimper left my mouth as I fell to the floor. I clamped my mouth shut. He loves her and knowing how Dara is she probably does too. This relationship between Jiyong and I can't ever happen now. How foolish had I been? I stood up on numb legs and made a run for it. I ran outside into the cool afternoon air. My thoughts were a fog but I kept walking with no idea where my body was taking me. At this point I could care less. I just let it take me; anything to get away from this place.
 

            It was when I saw the school I knew I was back at the park. The smoke was still present, and some of the firefighters. The cause of the fire was unknown but many had said someone must have left the Bunsen burner on in the chemistry room. Most of the school was gone. It was pretty much demolished.
 

             It was almost 9:00 and the last truck of firefighters disappeared into the night. I sat on the swing at the park. The spot I was at just a few hours ago ready to confess to Jiyong. Oh my god. Imagine if I had confessed, and Jiyong had told me he loved Dara instead. How would it have been then? It couldn’t have gone any better. Either way I would have been heartbroken. I can't do this anymore. I can't do this to myself because it hurts too much. I went through with it when I was with Simon, my heart just finally patched up . . . I can't let it break. It hurts too much.
 

            I sat on the swing crying my heart out that I didn’t even hear someone approach me until I saw a tissue in front of me. I looked up and saw a tall man. He had a sharp jaw, and bright blond hair with beautiful brown eyes. He was handsome and looked very familiar.

            Swiftly he bent down on his knees and took the tissue and very carefully wiped away my tear