It had been two weeks, four days, and ten hours after that sudden outburst from Wooyoung. Thankfully, after they reached Seoul, the school decided to give a one week vacation. But that didn't help much. Taeyeon still have to think about her mind and soul. After that peculiar statements from Wooyoung [Anything for you], she found herself watching the sun risen that day.

 

And the next day.

 

And the next, the next, next, next....

 

It repeated until right now.

 

She is sitting on her house rooftop, her legs pulled up until her chin rested on her knee, and her eyes stared blankly at the slowly slight blue and pink sky. It's not even weird if she suddenly took a deep sigh and released it in another deep huff. It happened too many times already.

 

She didn't even think of the super important National Singing Competition that she had dreamt of since her childhood days. Her mind was absolutely blank. The sun slowly risen and she stared at the dazzling yellow color that the Sun produce. She heaved a deep sigh and let it out. 

 

What am I going to do now? She thought. As much as I wanted to pretend dumb that she didn't understand the part 'anything for you', she actually did. Wooyoung could've never said that to her if he has no feelings for her. Even though it's the slightliest feeling he had for her..... she felt happy.

 

That's why it brought her back to thinking. She could've never accepted him. He said he still didn't know why, but he wanted to make her happy. He did mention that. But Taeyeon knew. It's crystal clear. Even the stupidest person could have known. Only the people who actually in the field that don't.

 

But she did nevertheless.

 

Another round of sigh escaped her lips as the sun finally risen fully on the East and the early birds started to chirp happily. She groaned and pulled herself up and unsteadily went down to her room, where her mom had been standing with hands on hips, waiting to choke her.

 

"Taeyeon." Her mom said firmly. "What happened?" She asked, her eyes were tender and soft. Her motherly aura taken the best of her as she embraced Taeyeon.

 

Taeyeon stayed still.

 

"Look around your eyes, they are black!" She exclaimed. It's not new things already, actually. "You didn't sleep again tonight, huh? I don't know your problem because you don't want to tell. I'm fine with that. But if you're trying to get yourself killed by not sleeping and getting cancer, I'm not fine!" 

 

Taeyeon looked at her mom. "I'm sorry, mom." She spoke out. Her voice hoarse and dry. She wondered when the last time she actually talked. She forgot.

 

Her mother quickly took the glass from the bedside and fed her the water. "Drink a lot. Your milky skin is not that milky anymore." She tried to joke, but her daughter seemed like she isn't listening. She sighed. "Taeyeon, why don't you just tell me? I'm your mother and I supposed to can take care of you, helping you sorting out your problems. What is it that you can't tell me? Is it about your boyfriend? Did he hurt you? Did he--"

 

Taeyeon grabbed her mom's hand. "Omma, stop. It's not anyone fault. I just needed time to think. It's my own fault." She said softly. "As much as I wanted to throw this problem to another person, I can't. This couldn't be solved by anyone except myself. It's complicated. Very very complicated." She said.

 

Her mom released a choke. "Alright then. Get ready for school now! Then you can eat breakfast like you always do and I promise not to scold your table manner!"

 

And Taeyeon faked a smile.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Oh my god. You look like ghost!" Sooyoung exclaimed.

 

"Thanks, that makes me feel better." Taeyeon replied sarcastically.

 

They were together because their lockers were placed next to each other. But from all of people, Taeyeon was unlucky because she got the locker beside Sooyoung.

 

"Well, you do look like ghost." Sooyoung said. "The dark circles around your eyes.... how long have you not been sleeping?"

 

"I don't know." Taeyeon replied as the two of them walked together.

 

Sooyoung rolled her eyes and stopped, grabbing Taeyeon's arm to make her stop too. "Tell me. I can keep secret."

 

"What?"

 

"You have a problem. A big one, I must say. You can tell me now." Sooyoung insisted.

 

Taeyeon shook her head. "I don't. It's not a big one. Just.... a bit complicated." She replied. "And don't worry about me. I'm not going to die anytime soon." She joked.

 

Sooyoung gave her a stern look. "I might be a choding, Taeng, but I am very very serious right now. Can't you see that I'm worried about you?"

 

Taeyeon is touched, but seriously, that's not really helping right now. "I'm grateful that you're worried about me, but I couldn't spill. I'll just try to sort things out by myself."

 

Sooyoung sighed. "Alright, I understand."

 

Taeyeon smiled thankfully and hugged her. "Thanks. I mean it, really."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just like the day before and before, Taeyeon avoided Wooyoung at any cost. She didn't even reply to Sooyoung when she once again said about 'Taeyeon avoiding Wooyoung' thing. She just didn't want him to be in any talk she is going to do. Not even a topic about him.

 

They were at the cafeteria, with the SNSD girls sitting at a long table together with 2PM, thank you for Jessica and Jay the couple.

 

Junsu and Taeyeon talked about the song that Taeyeon had been not thinking of.

 

"You forgot your part?" Junsu shrieked unnecessarily.

 

"Sorry, I didn't do it on purpose. There's a lot of things going on around my mind." Taeyeon muttered with heavy feeling. "I promise I'll study the song again after school." She said. With all her might she focused herself on Junsu, because it's kinda hard not to notice the intense stare Wooyoung gave her.

 

"It's okay. I know you never mean it to forget them. I also know how important this competition for you." Junsu said kindly. "If you have a problem, you can tell me. I might can help you."

 

Taeyeon smiled slightly.

 

The group then chatted wholeheartedly, but Taeyeon maintained to keep herself quiet. She looked at her food, feeling not hungry. If any, she would like to be alone at that moment. She sighed and looked up, her eyes wandered around the table.

 

Wrong move.

 

Wooyoung caught her eyes without a moment of hesitation and Taeyeon could not think of anything but how tense that moment was. She could not hear the loud voice the groups made, she could not avert her gaze away.

 

Their eyes were locked in silence.

 

He wanted to go there and asked her why has she been avoiding him? Is that sudden outburst have been nothing but burden to her? He wanted an answer, a clear spoken statement. Finally she found back her soul and looked away.

 

Taeyeon stood up abruptly. "I'm going first."

 

She didn't know where should she go and let her feet brought her to.

 

 

 

 

 

Lee Hyori - Counseling Time

 

Taeyeon hesitated. Should she go in or not? Jessica told her to look for their's school counselor, Lee Hyori at time when you were confused or having problems. She said that she had gone there a few times when she confused to accept Jay or not.

 

Damn that.

 

Thinking of that making Taeyeon rethink. Well, Jessica was having a love problem. Is love included in her problem? 

 

Taeyeon paced back and forth in front of the door for a long time before the door opened, revealing a gorgeous, y woman.

 

"Oh!" She exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here, haksaeng?"

 

Taeyeon bit her lips. "I need counseling. I'm currently facing a hard problem, but I'm not sure to talk about it or not."

 

Hyori eyed the student, studying her face. "Well, you look like you have a BIG problem. With dark circles and pale skin." She concluded. "Get in. I'll make you tea."

 

Taeyeon got inside the room and closed the door.

 

Hyori boiled the water and prepared a cup. She put in a spoon of tea powder inside the teapot after making sure the water boiled properly. She carefully poured the tea inside the white porcelain cup and brought it to Taeyeon. She made herself one too.

 

Even only making tea made her look so elegant.

 

She sat down in front of Taeyeon and eyed the young girl. "You can start now."

 

Taeyeon circled the cup's lips using her fingers and slowly brought the cup up. She looked at the cup and Hyori occasionally. "I...." Taeyeon then started her story from the start until the problem she stuck into. Hyori listened attentively.

 

"So you're saying that Wooyoung's friend Junsu, who is gay, told you that Wooyoung likes you?" Hyori wrapped them in a statement neatly. "And suddenly, Wooyoung said things like 'anything for you' when he never did before? And you're afraid that he really likes you?"

 

Taeyeon shook her head. "The densest person on Earth could know that he does like me."

 

"You're feeling guilty because your best friend like him, and you know." Hyori concluded. "You know she likes him, but you didn't do anything to make him like you. It was his willingness to give you his heart. You also said you tried your best to avoid him, right?" Hyori sipped her tea.

 

"Love cannot be force. No matter how much Tiffany tried, if his heart has already belonged to you, Tiffany would never win. Because he chose to give it to you. And no matter how much you tried to reject him, if you feel like he's the right one, then he is."

 

Hyori continued on, looking at Taeyeon straightly. "You said that he still hasn't realized he likes you yet, but he does have the symptoms. If you looked through it, you actually had only one problem. And that's not hard. Answer my question this one and you'll able to know what the answer for your problem."

 

"Do you like him the way he did?"

 

Taeyeon felt someone whacked her on the head hardly. So this is it. It finally dawned her. She does have love problem. She did thinking of falling in love, but she never thought she would fall for the wrong person. Even though the question seems so easy, it's not.

 

She gulped and sipped on her tea recklessly.

 

"Your answer is the answer for all the problem." Hyori smiled. "Now, try to think only of your heart. Forget about all things that keep hindering you from getting the answer. Forget about your best friend liking your fake boyfriend. Forget about Wooyoung's feeling for you. Just close your eyes and forget about everything." Taeyeon closed her eyes as Hyori continued, "Think of Wooyoung, just him, not his feeling for you. How do you feel when he's around?"

 

"Do your heart beat faster?"

 

"Do you feel happy with him around?"

 

"Do you feel like losing him?"

 

Taeyeon went through her memories.

 

And truthfully, when our skin came in contact, I was very surprised. My heart suddenly raced and I thought I was going to die because it didn't stop thumping loudly. I kept the coca-cola, unable to do anything else. Please, focusing on the movie!? Heck, I don't even know what I'm watching.

 

I don't mind actually. Really. Deep inside I was actually happy... and sorry.

 

I don't really understand why the sorry feeling comes. But it felt like it should. It felt as if I have made mistake to someone; but still not realizing what and who. Part of me was trying to figure out, but nothing popped out.

 

There's a sudden wave of something.... I couldn't tell, but it went straight to my heart. Something made me feel weird and a tinge of gratitude just washed over me. I really don't get it. I felt the sudden urge to cry just because he said that. Nah, this is a problem. Why do I feel that????

 

Oh my god.

 

I automatically slapped my face. What the hell was I thinking? He did not do such a thing; he couldn't have wavered my heart. Remember, Kim Taeyeon, your best friend like him. Remember, Kim Taeyeon, you're a good friend. Remember, Kim Taeyeon, he was your enemy.......

 

Oh My.

 

I even used past tense to introduce him-introduce what is his position in my life. Was enemy. Ex-enemy. That is he for me now...*just realized*

 

"Woohooooooo, Taeng, see-" Wooyoung turned around with the teddy bear in his hand, but he caught my teary eyes.

 

Oh this life.

 

I flung my arms aroung him and hugged him.

 

Why am I like this?

 

A moment later, a figure appears, walking inside the class with his confident overflowing seen through. I just have to stare deeply into him. Oh god. Please spare me. Why, why, am I looking at him? He wasn't my type in any angles, but why, why, should I stare at him like this? This is wrong.

 

And totally a disaster.

 

Taeyeon recalled every possible memories that she had until one particular memory flashed and shocked her hard.

 

"I like Wooyoung." She blantly starts. "And you know it." She takes a deep sigh before continuing, "I felt hurt when I read that article, Taeng. I don't understand. And I can't just make excuses in my head that it might be false or whatever. I knew that both your parents are friends and stuff....but, this is just plain weird and I don't think I could handle it. The two of you also aren't enemies anymore, so that's a possibility that you two might be going out, right? But one thing, Taeng, why do I feel hurt, I feel betrayed?" She sobs.

 

Taeyeon opened her eyes. It was stung because she tried to dry it without wiping the forming tears on her eyes. She blinked as realization hit her.

 

her life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I like him too." She mumbled as a tear trickled down her cheek.