My grandmother knew what had happened, my father had already called her and I overheard her when I came through the front door that he was to give me time, him and Jongdae. I was lying down, face first on my bed when I felt a hand on my back, I was so used to it by now that I didn’t even shrug them off me.

“I’m sorry Mira.” Jongin said softly.

I sniffled against my pillow “Aren’t we all?”

“What happened when you went back?”

“Jongdae is arguing with my dad,” I told him as I sat up, looking down at my own hands as I heaved a sigh, I probably looked as bad as I felt “Chanyeol removed me from the house, took me into his and because I wouldn’t calm down he kissed me.”

“Oh man I bet Jongdae is – wait he kissed you?!” Jongin grabbed my shoulders “What does that mean?”

“He kissed me because I wasn’t breathing right,” I looked him dead in the eye as I shrugged his hands off me “He didn’t kiss me for the reasons you’re assuming.”

“Oh god,” Jongin raked a finger through his hand and grabbed my arm, pulling me to him and wrapping his arm around me “I’m sorry Mira. I’m so sorry for everything.”

                   I welcomed it, the comfort and wrapped my arms around him as I let out another stupid sob at something that had filled me with so many feelings and had taken so much of the negativity out of me only to have it snatched from my grasps by just a few simple words.

I had no idea what had stung more, Chanyeol or the fact that my father had lied to me.

~

                   I don’t recall how I got to school the next day, I just vaguely remember Jongin holding onto me as I walked there and the fact my grandmother tried to persuade me into not going. I didn’t even wear any make-up. I was just lifeless.

                   I knew they were there when I put my things into my locker, I could feel them staring at me as I felt a hand rub my back gently.

“How is she?” Baekhyun’s voice hit my ears.

Jongin shrugged beside me “It’s not good Baek.”

“Hey Mira –”

“Don’t,” Jongin cut Chanyeol off and I looked at Jongin with surprise “You made things worse. It took me a long time last night