Change Like The Seasons

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»Change Like The SeasonsReview«

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Story

Title (2/5)

To be honest it's a bit hard to determine if the title fits the story considering that it's only 3 chapters in. But I do not like the phrasing/English of the title; it doesn't quite make sense. I'm guessing this person/his emotions/his personality changes like the four seasons but here "change" feels like a noun and it becomes wrong. 
 
Foreword/Description (7/10)
 
It's enticing; I give that to you but it gives no hint to what to expect out of the story.
 
Appearance (5/5)
 
I'll give you full marks for this; I like the feel of the front page with the appropriate pretty images, the layout of each chapter is also nice looking and I was surprised the fonts came out readable.
 
Plot (5/15)
 
To be honest, I can't tell the direction of this story right now and the characters seem very confusing.
 
He/She is apparently some popular kid and has some EXO members as his friend...that's all I can grasp. I'm sorry.
 
Originality (10/15)
 
Hard to judge once again but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt because I see conflicts.
 
 
Language (10/20)
 
Your general writing style is very confusing albeit giving a nice poetic feel. It sounds like a first person narration/ a diary entry but you mix thoughts of the past and present with current happenings and it's very confusing. 
 
- Hence comes the error in tenses; you switch between present and past in the middle of a sentence/passage which is wrong.
- Do not put random korean words in without explaining and without significance
- Grammatical errors here and there.
 
Overall I could barely understand your story.
 
Flow (2/10)
 
There was simply none; to me, nothing happened. 
 
Characterization (5/10)
 
I can't even tell if the person is a male or female at times; right now I'm bordering on a gay male.
 
None of his friends have any character either. 
 
Overall Enjoyment (2/10)
 
I'm sorry but it was hard for me to digest. Maybe it's too early in the story.
 
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
 
50/100!
 
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Comments

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aya-ELF #1
Chapter 85: Thank you for the review dear! I was relly shocked with the language part OTL, I'm gonna go fix it right now! By the way, do you think it will be better if I write a simple prologue to explain the life of a demon and what's the benefit to have a mate??
EPIONE #2
Heyy,

I don't know if you remember me, but I was just wondering where you're currently working this year as a reviewer?
I'd love to request from you again.

Best,
Epione
teenme14 #3
Chapter 72: Okay.. Thanks for the review ^^

Now to clarify XD
Title: As you said, the highlight/ of the story has not yet come. So yeahh..
Plot: This is my first chaptered story after my long hiatus from writing. After the hiatus, I wrote a two shot. So, I kinda forgot how to write a chaptered story XD The present time of the story is at the end of Summer (hence, their summer break). Oh, and I plan on making this fic a 40 chaptered fic.
- I guess I haven't mentioned the type of phone she is using. Samsung phones are quite cheap in Korea but are also expensive for people with financial probs. So, back to her phone. The phone she is using is a Samsung Galaxy Win Pro G3812. And she is using pre-paid which you'll have to top-up each time the credit finishes or it expires, whichever comes first.
- The cafe's delivery system works like this: A person will order through phone, and they jot down the name and address of the person. One of the workers will be asked to deliver the drink/food. If the house is near enough, they deliver by foot. If it is rather far, they ride a bike.
-I am not a dancer and... OTL I really need a dancer to help me whenever dancing scenes come up TT.TT
- About Mr. and Mrs. Kim, it will be known in the next chapter that I'm writing now.
Characterization: I am really bad at this XD Jongin's feelings at first was just merely interested. It's not a crush. He just simply feels interested by the girl. Hana & Sehun... We'll know more once we're more into the story XD

So.. yeah.. Thanks ^^ Sorry for the English mistakes. English is not my first language
teenme14 #4
Chapter 62: Thank you for the review! Glad you liked it! ^^ it's a bit fast paced coz I had a deadline to follow and finished it in 2 days xD I was planning on making a special chapter for the part before jongdae confessed to get to know Hye Sun better and how Jongdae came to like her. I was in a rush, so yeah. I was thinking that a LIFETIME to forget was that, he WOULD eventually fall in love with another girl but he would never forget Hye Sun since she was his first love. About the part where she died: I wanted her to die in an accifent rather than in the surgery was because Jongdae's parents died in an accident too which would somehow, idk, increase the pain (whut)
hanajoe #5
Chapter 32: Thanks for the review^^
I know my i'm not good enough in English T-T but i will try my best to write it!
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