Namjoon the Great
Story Reviews»Namjoon the Great Review«
Title (4/5)
I'm a bit undecided on this so I'm going to give my views: While reading the story I seriously did not feel "Namjoon the Great" shining through; basically I would never use the word "great" on the character. He was anything but that to me. BUT you did make an effort to explain the significance behind in through links with the other characters so it becomes a justificable title.
Foreward/Description (9/10)
It was short and captivating. You also explained your title so well done there.
Appearance (4/5)
Appropriate enough.
Plot (12/15)
Thing to note; I did not read it at one shot, I read chapter by chapter over a while so my thoughts are a bit disraught. Which also translates to your story not being engaging enough. It could be due to the event by event chapter layout which made reading on its own possible ie no cliffhangers that forces you to click the next button. That said, I was able to draw the parallels and even if one could not, good job on your explanation efforts at the end of the chapter.
The story itself was for a better lack of word; warped. (that's not bad) All the characters involved were messed up one way or another so I would put it as having a matured theme which is unique and I applaud you for writing it. But when you deal with cases of suicide, drugs, depression etc you have to put a lot more effort in the emotional and psychological development of each character which I thought you lacked.
Credit given to good use of timeline without making it confusing and explanations given.
Overall I could catch the twisted plot and dark theme so well done.
Originality (15/15)
Definitely full marks here, as per above it's original for sure.
Language (18/20)
Overall no big mistakes but there are quite a lot of instances when I know what you're trying to write but that's an obvious mistake (I found a few in the earlier chapters but they disappeared from my draft so here's one:)
“I was nearly making the ends meet, after I finished high school.
I was merely making ends meet, after I finished high school.
Flow (9/10)
It was planned well so credit is given.
Characterization (5/10)
This whole story deals with characters so it is important (please don't hate me for the strict score) Here are a couple of things:
- The unfortunate incidents in Namjoon's life was so briefly mentioned it barely stuck. I only knew about the death of his family during the later chapters without recalling if it was mentioned earlier (ie not lasting)
- I couldn't tell at all that Namjoon was even falling for Luhan in the slightest bit. It can't be that overnight he loves him. Yes the death maybe a realization but it can't be a sudden developed emotion after the suicide.
- I could not understand why Jaejoong needed an alternate names; to me they make a story confusing. Including 'Spring' for that matter but he's your main character and you explained multiple times
- "Spring" is a name given to Namjoon by Chaerin so it did irk me that Nari used that same name.
- I thought Namjoon was falling for Nari and vice versa.
- How did everyone else around Namjoon become so ed up? Was it because of him or did they have a background too? (Having a story full of non-normal people seems a little bit too much for me) - normal as in sane, we always need some balance
- Sometimes, people choose kpop idols as their characters because they play on the traits. To me, I do follow kpop and sometimes, I totally dont see how Namjoon for example aka Rapmonster is that type. (it's a personal thing this is a fiction but just an advice)
Hope you find these helpful =)
Overall Enjoyment (8/10)
It was an enjoyable read and I apologize for the long wait.
Reviewed by: eunhyuksgal
84/100!
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