Mel: Ang tindi ng halikan nyo Kimmy ha.

Joyce: Oo nga, ang sweet nyo the whole day. Did you manage to have that talk yet?

Kim: Not exactly. I mean we have little talks here and there pero nothing serious.

Shaina: No talk is needed naman eh. It’s obvious that you two are in love!

Mel: Yeah, your lips did all the talking. You two couldn’t keep your hands off each other!

Kim: We were just mucking around, kasi kinukulit nya ako. Hey, it wasn’t like nag-todo laplapan kami all day!

Mel and Shaina: Yes it was!

Kim: Ang sama nyo! Ako na naman ang napapansin nyo! Kayo nga dapat ang mag-kwento eh. I need to catch up with all the goss, ang tagal ko hindi nakasali sa mga buhay buhay nyo ha.

Mel: Hey, you’re up to date naman with my lovelife ah! Remember your phone bills went off the roof when I called you right after I got unized?

Kim: Yeah, you gave me nightmares for weeks after that very detailed description of every single move Matt made.

Shaina: Oh my God! She did the same thing to me! At talagang she measured his thingy just so she can report to us accurately! Haha!

Joyce and Kim: And named ‘it’ Mr. Poky!! Ha!Ha!

Mel: Syempre I was so excited no! Who else am I going to share my excitement with? You know, the whole time we were doing it, I was fully thinking of dialing your numbers so you girls can hear me getting lucky.

Shaina: Thank God, you didn’t! We were traumatized enough with the raw details alone!

Kim: Wow, I’m surprised that you actually had time to think of us during your intimate moments.

Mel: That was just during ang dami pang laman ng isip ko. After that, I had to concentrate, ang sakit talaga eh.

Shaina: Does it really hurt that much? Mas masakit pa ba sa injection?

Mel: Ibang klaseng injection, a million times bigger.

Shaina: Kimmy, may advice ka ba sa mga inexperienced? Share naman dyan. You and Gerald must have done it like hundreds of times, baka naman may useful tips ka about the pain?

Kim: Nakakahiya naman. And hey, we haven’t done it a hundred times! Para naman akong machine nyan!

Mel: I’m sure Gerald thinks so. Kanino ka ba mahiya eh tayo tayo lang naman dito. Eh ako nga eh, walang hiya na nagdescribe lahat ng details pati yung ko!

Kim: I don’t know if alcohol had anything to do with it but my first time didn’t really hurt. Uncomfortable, yes pero the guy got me all wet first para daw well lubricated and hindi masyado masakit. Girls kung may makarinig sa atin, ang sagwa!

Mel: You were lucky you were handled with an expert. Eh si Matt hanggang groping lang naman ang alam nun. Two s really make a lousy first encounter.

Kim: Pero ngayon, I’m sure expert na sya. Every night yata syang nagpapractice no?

Mel: Well, practice makes perfect! All that pain was all worth it naman eh, he’s starting to get better at it. You were right friend when you said that once you’ve had a taste of heaven hanap hanapin mo na talaga.

Shaina: Nakaka-inggit naman kayo. Feel ko na tuloy sagutin yung manliligaw kong hikain.

Kim: Si Mel lang naman ang may action dito eh. Ako din, I envy her. One year na kaya akong untouched.

Mel: Eh ikaw naman kasi eh ang arte mo. Ang daming mga gwapong Aussies na nagtagkang sumisid, you really had to save your pearl for Gerald! Pwede ka naman tumikim eh and just save the best for last.

Kim: Hala! Ayoko nga ng one night stands. I don’t wanna bring home some herpes or something gross. And FYI, I am so not saving myself for Gerald!

Mel: Yeah sure friend. Pero if I were you, I would have really taken advantage of the opportunity since break naman kayo ni Gerald at that time. Learn more tricks of the trade so expert ka na when you and Gerald reunite in bed.

Kim: Excuse me, hindi ko yan trade, I’m not a hooker no!

Mel: Hehe…Just admit it na ever so loyal ka talaga sa baby loves mo! Bagay nga talaga kayo kasi yun din, he didn’t give any girl the time of day while you were away.

Kim: Wala ba talaga syang girl na naging close while we weren’t together?

Joyce: Wala naman kasi puro work lang yan eh and the rest of the time, nagmukmuk lang sa room nya. Of course, may mga maririnig ka na I’m sure kaiinisan mo but good boy naman sya as far as we know.

Mel: Don’t think about that muna. We’ll worry about slappin and catfights later. By the way Shaina, I will so disown you if you start dating Mr. Whooping Cough! Hindi lang sya hikain no, mukha talaga syang may sakit sa baga! Ang dami naman dyang mga gwapong nanliligaw sayo, why don’t you pick one of them?

Shaina: No thanks, most of them are so up themselves. And I don’t want another Rayver either. Ayoko ng mga sobrang gwapo, ang yayabang. Michael is definitely not Mr. Right but he’ll do for now. Cute naman sya eh, medyo a bit on the slimmer side nga lang.

Kim: Sha, pang Prince William yang regal beauty mo sweetie, don’t settle for Prince Charles. Don’t worry friend, I’m sure you’ll find a deserving guy soon.

Joyce: Shaina, enjoy mo muna yung single life mo. It’s more fun being single anyway. Walang pressures about allocating your time for your studies and for a guy. You don’t have to worry about giving up your own free time, you’re not compelled to look beautiful all the time kasi wala ka namang pinapagandahan. And best of all, you don’t have to worry about waxing and shaving every few days!

Kim: Whoah! I think I have an idea why you and Joaqui didn’t even acknowledge each other the whole day. What did I miss?

Mel: Your guess is as good as mine. Ayaw magsalita ng mga yan eh. Basta they just suddenly stopped talking. What did really happen Joyce? Share mo naman sa amin, we’re all here for each other di ba?

Joyce: Nothing. Nagka-ilangan lang kami. We started getting closer and we had a bit too much to drink one night and we did something that we both fully regret later on. After that, we couldn’t even bare to meet each other’s eyes.

Mel: Wait, I don’t get it. What did you do exactly that was so awful? Murder? Grievous bodily harm? Or did you experiment with drugs?

Joyce: More like periment.

Shaina: Oh my god! Are you for real?

Kim: Wow, you and Joaqui? I know you two were getting closer when I left but it’s hard to picture you two in that context.

Mel: So you did it. What’s so wrong with that? You both have known each other throughout high school and attracted naman kayo with each other.

Joyce: Yes, he was my crush but that ended there. It just feels so weird! I mean, it’s Joaqui we’re talking about! The class clown, not to be taken seriously type of guy. He’s not the kind of guy that you would really want to be in bed with. I don’t know, I just felt so strange after that night. Everytime I look at him now, all I can picture in my head is his thingy-ma-jig. That’s why I can’t even talk to him. It feels like I’m talking to a .

Kim: Oh great! What you just said is going to get stuck in my head now everytime I’m talking to Joaqui!

Joyce: I think I’m traumatized for life. The thought of bed scenes really doesn’t appeal to me anymore.

Mel: Aw, that’s so sad. That’s like missing out on life! Pero I’m sure if Piolo Pascual offered his self to you, magbabago ang pananaw mo about periments! Just remember, the male genetalia can be such an amazing company.

Kim: I have an idea! We should so totally buy her a !

Shaina and Joyce: What?!!

Kim: Para mawala yang fear mo. It’s the perfect solution! Familiarize yourself with the male device so that next time you encounter one, you won’t panic anymore.

Mel: Our Kimmy is so back, I love it! Friend, you’re a genius! Loka loka pero genius nonetheless.

After an hour of tossing and turning in bed, Mel whispered to Kim, “You can’t sleep either?”

“No.” Kim whispered back. “Nawala na yata antok ko eh. Are you thinking about Matt?”

Mel: Uh-huh. First night kasi namin to in a long time that we’re not sleeping together. It feels weird. I feel like something’s missing. I feel like a little kid whose teddy bear had been confiscated.

Kim: I miss Gerald too.

Mel: Hey, I have an idea! Put on your robe and come with me.

Kim: Huh? Where are we going?

Mel: The receptionist is my cousin’s girlfriend so I’m sure pwede natin sya paki-usapan. She knows Matt too. Let’s go borrow the other key for the boys’ room.

Kim: Mel, have I told you that I love how your genius, conniving mind works? I like your plan, gapangan session!