Gerald: She loves me! Kimberly Chiu still loves me! Wooohooo! I knew it!!

Gerald was jumping and skipping around by the beach like a happy little 5-year-old girl in pigtails. The tourists were giving him strange looks but he didn’t care. He just wanted to celebrate. “Nagselos sya! She is still in love with me!! I have to make it up to her, big time. Not only for upsetting her today but for every single day that I have been hurting her for the last couple of months. I have to do something special tonight. Whoo! She loves me!”

Mel: Hoy Gerald! You do know that you look like someone who just escaped out of the mental hospital, right? Mahiya ka naman, kanina ka pa pinagtatawanan oh!

Joaqui: Oo nga bro, I even heard a few girls saying na sayang ang gwapo mo pa naman kaso lang, baliw.

Joyce: Duh! Kahit sinusungitan ka non, obvious naman diba? No surprises there. Kung maka-celebrate ka, as if ngayon mo lang nasilayan na love ka nyang talaga.

Gerald: Guys, you need to help me set-up a romantic surprise tonight for Kimmy.

*************************************************************

Kim was still teary eyed as she sat on the sand at a more secluded part of the beach. “Oh, I miss Matteo. He normally says something that makes me feel better in times like this. Bakit naman kasi he has to go to America for the holidays eh! Gagong Gerald na yan! Why does he have to toy with my emotions this way? He should just go back to his old playboy ways para matapos na to. Wa’g lang yung binibilog nya ang ulo ko, confusing my heart and my mind. Ano ba talaga ang drama nya anyway? One minute, he’s flirting with girls, wanting to get lucky with some random ty-looking chick then the next minute, mag-so sorry sya? What is that? And he even had the nerves to call me baby! Does he really have to treat me this bad? I don’t deserve this! Why can’t he just let me be and quit pestering me, hurting me.” She continued her train of thoughts, just sitting there on the sand, looking out the horizon.

Carl: Miss, don’t freak out, I’m not some weirdo or anything. I just noticed that you had been sitting here for a while, just wondering if you’re okay? You’re not sick, are you?

Kim was a little startled when someone interrupted her daydreaming. “Huh? Err, yes…I’m okay. I’m not sick, just needed some quiet time.

Carl: Well that’s good to hear. Pasensya na, I disturbed you ha. I work there sa café na yun and I couldn’t help but notice na kanina ka pa nandito. I was worried na maybe you were dizzy or something.

Kim: Thanks for the concern uhm…

Carl: Carl. Carl Simmons. (He handed out his hand for a handshake.)

Kim took his hand and introduced herself back. “I’m really okay.”

Carl: Parang ang lalim ng iniisip mo ah. I think you could use some good quality coffee. Would you like one? My shift is finished but I can quickly make one for you, it’s on the house.

Kim: (“Hmm...he seems nice and cute. Not as cute as Gerald but definitely could pass as a potential bait. This could help take my mind off Gerald.”) A coffee sounds great but please let me pay, nakakahiya naman sa’yo.

Carl: No, I can’t let you pay. I offered. It goes against my principles.

Kim: Ok pero the next one is on me.

Getting to know a new face was a nice break for Kim from all the drama going on between Gerald and her. For a few minutes she devoted her time to another person rather than thinking about the same guy 24/7. He seemed like a gentleman and fun to talk to so it didn’t take a lot of convincing for her to agree to meet up with him tonight for dinner. She was glad she had a reason not to hang out with their group tonight. She was safe from Gerald’s antics, even if it was just for a couple of hours. She can’t take another crying session about Gerald wanting to score with other girls. She needed this for her sanity’s sake.

Mel: Kimmy! There you are! We’ve been looking all over for you. Are you okay? You just stormed out earlier. We thought it was best not to follow, we know that you normally like some time alone when you’re pissed off.

Kim: Thanks guys, I’ve just had about enough of Gerald’s antics. I’m so tired of it.

Shaina: He was just kidding Kimmy. Sobrang remorseful nga sya eh. You guys really need to have a proper talk.

Kim: We already did, remember? He told me to leave, it’s over between us!

Martha: Hey! Kim, right?

Kim: Oh hey, Martha, right?

Martha: Yes. So, how are things with you and Gerald?

(“Dang! Can’t a second pass without me hearing his name? He’s like some disease that I can’t get rid of. Pati ba naman sa strangers, I still have to talk about him?”) “Like I told you girls earlier, I don’t want him so you can have him.”

Cecille: Do you mind if I ask bakit ayaw mo sa kanya? I mean, he’s good-looking, nice and he seems to really want you. Why would any girl say no to him?

Mel: Wala na kayo dun no! At talagang si Kim lang ang gusto ni Gerald. He’s head over heels for her.

Kim: (“Ehem! How to lose his hoes in ten seconds.”) Okay, I’ll let you girls in on a little secret. Girl to girl, para naman you can save wasting your time. Gerald is actually, how do I put this delicately, uhm… not very well endowed.

Cecille: Meaning?

Kim: Meaning, his midget is tragically way below average.

Martha: Really? When he had those wet shorts earlier, he seemed pretty healthy naman down under ah.

Kim: (“At talagang she checked?! Bruhang to!”) It’s quite sad really. The poor guy is so insecure about it that he had to use paddings just to look like he has a healthy bulge. And you know, he can barely even fit on a cup A brief pero he wears cup C! Pathetic, right? (Kim had to kick Shaina and Mel who both couldn’t control their laughter.)

Mel: Nakakatawa nga sya di ba?

Martha: Ew, he’s got more issues than I thought.

Kim: I don’t want to be a hypocrite, I can’t pretend that size don’t matter. You girls know what I mean, right? The outside package looks good but underneath the covers, it’s pretty disappointing. How can I feel the passion and the love if I can hardly feel the love below?

Cecille: Hindi talaga obvious no? Kasi his feet looks so big naman and you know what they say! He’s like a size 11 or 12 di ba?

Kim: Divide that by 5. Actually no, 6 then you can have a pretty good idea.

Shaina: Ha! Ha! Ang sama mo!

Cecille: Ay, kawawa naman pala sya. I guess we can’t have it all. Pero pagtyagaan ko pa rin sya. He makes up for it with his good looks naman and napaparaanan naman yan eh. With all the technologies nowadays, pwede naman sya magpa-enlarge. I’d spend the money if it means I’ll be with him.

Kim: (“Naku, ayaw pa rin titigil ha?”) Girls as pretty as you two don’t need to settle for second best. Marami naman dyan na mga gwapo and blessed with a plumpy, you know. Lalo na dito sa Boracay, maglakad lakad lang kayo, there’s always a good catch nearby. Besides, trust me. You wouldn’t want to end up in bed with him. You’ll just be in for a disappointment. He’s pretty lousy.

Martha: Oo nga naman Cecille, ang daming gwapo dito. You said you wanted to have fun diba? Sige Kim ha, thanks for the tip.

Kim: Hey, I do what I can. As a fellow female in society who is after a good quality meat, I feel that it is my duty to warn others.

Mel: Girlfriend, you are baaaad! Hands down to you, ang galing mo talaga!

Kim: Kayong dalawa, muntik nang mabuking ang diskarte ko ha. Ayaw nyong tumigil sa kakatawa.

Shaina: Sakit na nga ang tiyan at panga ko eh, I couldn’t stop laughing. Grabe ka naman kasi sa mga pinagsasabi mo and I can’t believe those bimbos bought it!

Mel: See Kimmy, you drove those girls away dahil ayaw mong may umaaligid kay Gerald. Nagseselos ka. Dahil love mo sya.

Kim: Hindi no! I just thought I’d have a bit of fun.

Mel: Sure, sure. Who ran away crying kanina dahil sa selos?

Kim: Whatever!

*************************************************************

Girl 3: Ay, I don’t dig that, too many muscles for my taste. That guy on the other hand, yummy!

Girl 4: You’re right, he’s sooo cute. I’mma get me a piece of that.

Girl 5: Let’s go talk to him.

Girl 3: Hands off girls, this meat is mine. I saw him first.

Girl 5: Wait, he looks like he’s buying the whole flowershop. He must have a girlfriend and looks like he’s doing a romantic number on the lucky too.

Girl 3: So? Like that’s ever stopped us before!

Martha: Sorry girls, I couldn’t help but overhear. Are you talking about that Fil-Am guy over there?

Girls: Oh yeah! Don’t tell me you want to compete too?

Martha: Oh no thanks. And you girls shouldn’t waste your time either. I talked to the girlfriend, actually ex-girlfriend and she told me why he ain’t worth going for.

Girl 3: Why? Playboy sya ganun? I’m okay with that.

Martha: Well, let’s just say, he’s hiding a little ‘mini me’.

Girl 5: Meaning?

Martha: Meaning despite his good looks, he has this tiny, eensy weensy, er, flaw.

Girl 3: Translation?

Martha: He wears briefs two times larger than his cup size and stuffs paddings down under because he’s so insecure of his little hidden secret. Get me?

Girls: Ew, turn off!

Girl 3: Wait, how did you know about this? You could just be making this whole thing up so you can have him all to yourself.

Martha: It’s up to you if you don’t want to believe me. His ex-girlfriend told me, herself. Why do you think he’s trying to impress her with all those flowers? Todo effort sya para balikan sya ng girl eh, why would a girl say no to him? Think about it.

Girl 5: Pero wait, so he’s not perfect pero it’s what you do with it daw di ba?

Martha: Well, he ain’t no Cassanova in bed, another minus. I heard he’s pretty lousy.

Girl 3: Turned off na talaga ako, my appetite’s gone. He looks so pathetic trying hard with all those flowers.

**************************************************************

Gerald: There. Finally everything for our dinner date is all set-up. This will be one great night! I’m so excited bro!

Joaqui: Ge, dude! Can I ask you a personal question?

Gerald: Okay, shoot.

Joaqui: Wa’g kang magalit ha. Do you have issues with your uhm…size?

Gerald: What? My height? I thought I’m pretty tall naman.

Joaqui: I mean, size mo down below, underneath your clothes, your mighty sword.

Gerald: Did you skip your meals today? What are you on about? Are you checking out my package? You know, you really scare me sometimes, this just uncomfortable.

Joaqui: Pare, I can assure you this is the first time I thought about your, er, --

Gerald: Enough Joaqui! You are just making me feel so weird right now standing here with you in this romantic set-up!!

Joaqui: I heard that Martha girl kasi telling some girls that apparently you have a tiny package, same size daw sa pudpod na nyang lipstick plus you’re lousy in bed pa daw. They were talking about you when we were at the flower shop.

Gerald: Ano?! What the?!! Why would she say that about me? I just met her and ni hindi nga nya ako nahawakan no, kung ano ano nang pinagsasabi.

Joaqui: I heard that Kim told her daw. That’s the reason daw that she doesn’t want to get back with you and you’re chasing after her.

Gerald: Sinabi nya yon?!! Ganun pala huh? Humanda ka sa akin Kimmy. Lousy in bed pa talaga ha? Once I get my hands on you, I’ll remind you why you have screamed ‘larger than life’ during our sleepless, glorious nights.

Joaqui: Ehem! A little too much information, dude! Please, pa po ang tenga ko. Of course I didn’t think that was true. I know naman the reason why you two broke up and it had nothing to do with your body parts. I’m just wondering why Kim would tell them such gossip?

A mischievous grin formed on Gerald’s face. “Because she wants me. She wants me bad. She wants me all to herself! She wants the other girls to back off. She’s sooo adorable, isn’t she? All the more reason to make me feel loved. I have to set-up our room for romance mood for when we kiss and make-up.”