"Try hitting that high note ten times in a row," my instructor told me. It took me the first three tries to hit it perfectly. I wasn't very great when it came to ballads but I had to since I was assigned this song. My instructor told me it would fit me very well.

"Very good. Now start from the 2nd verse and start building up your emotions. Don't try too hard and you must be very natural," he told me. 

"Neh, arasso," I replied. We worked on this song for almost two hours until he turned me to a dance instructor. 

We were doing a dance cover on particular group. I chose MBLAQ's Again because it was challenging to me. I only had to do a portion of the whole dance. I got it down but I had a lot of mistakes. For example, my eyes had trouble focusing and they were wandering. I was looking at the ground too much and some of the moves didn't look clean enough. Other than that, I had no trouble coming on time and moving with the beat. What was harder was singing at the same time. I often found myself out of breath but I soon had that problem fixed. 

The trainer had me run miles while singing. I could've passed out but I had to work harder than others in order to stand out. As for my rap, I would be doing the one I wrote. I practiced at the dorm and had no problem but when it came to rapping in front of my instructor, I messed up everywhere. He tried giving me tips and when he rapped my rap it flowed. I felt like I was the only one who had trouble with this rap. 

I trained every day from morning to night alone with my instructors. They each came in at different times. I had to run and do core in the mornings. After that I worked on rapping. After lunch, I worked on my ballad and dance/performing was last. I only saw my friends whenever we would have lunch at the same time. Other than that, I was always with my instructors. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Kamsahamnida! See you tomorrow," I thanked my dance/performing instructor before he left. I was done for the day but I decided to stay behind and practice my dance. There was a monitor in front of me to see how I would turn out on television. 

I had memorized and learned all of the dance moves to the song by MBLAQ. Now I had to practice keeping my breath steady and being able to dance and sing at the same time while being very natural. 

For some reason, I would always get cut off my the camera, leaving half of my body on the monitor. I kept trying to see what was wrong but I had trouble finding it. I restarted the song and tried singing while dancing but I forgot the lyrics. I was sweating from exhaustion. I was wearing sweats and a tank top but it was still very hot despite the air conditioning that was running on high. My loose ponytail swayed back and forth as I mastered the dance moves. Sweat was running down my neck, soaking into the back of my tank top. 

"I don't see why I get cut off so often," I murmured to myself. I imagined myself as an idol. How great it would be to sing in concert and perform on shows, in front of thousands of fans. I created scenarios in my head but only stopped to realize that it was very far from me. I sighed and turned around only to bump into someone.

"I'm very sorry!" I bowed as I looked up to see who it was that I had bumped into. There he was, Youngbae looking at me, almost smiling. 

"Oh, annyeonghasaeyo," I greeted. He nodded and held up two bags. 

"What's that?" I asked.

"Food for us," he responded.

We sat on the bench, with our backs to the cold mirror. We were eating bento boxes together. I snuck a glance at him. I smiled at the sight of him eating. He stuffed the food into his mouth and a side of his cheek was puffed up like a bunny. I stifled my laughter. He looked at me and I looked away, trying not to laugh.

"What's so funny?" he asked, with amusement in his voice. I stuffed food into my mouth and had my cheek puffed out just like him. I pointed to his cheek and he understood. He flicked my forehead before shaking his head and continue eating. The corner of his mouth was pulled out as he was eating. I was laughing as I was eating. I had no control over my laughter at the moment. 

"Thank you," I thanked him as he gave me water. He pat my back to get me to stop coughing.

"That's what you get for laughing at me," he smirked. I scowled as I was choking. He continued patting my back. My phone rang and I reached into my bag for it.

"Yobosayo?" I answered.

"Heeyoung, are you going to come back soon?" Sae asked. I could hear the television background and her chewing.

"I think I'm going to practice a little more. It won't be too long I hope," I told her.

"Okay then! Aja aja hwaiting!" she cheered.

"Thanks," I answered before hanging up. 

"You're going to continue practicing?" Youngbae asked. 

"Yeah. I need a lot of it," I admitted.

"Yeah, you should because you need it," he teased.

"Hey! You aren't supposed to agree with me," I said as I whacked his arm. He looked down at his arm and at me blowing on my hand.

"Is your body made of metal or something? My hand really hurts," I complained. He shrugged and asked me a question that caught me off guard. It wasn't really a question but an order that I could not decline.

"I'm going to monitor you," he said. 

"Mwoh?" I choked on my water. He pat my back as he was speaking. 

"Judging from what I saw earlier, you are avoiding the camera," he finished.

"I'm not scared of the camera," I defended.

"Just admit it. You hate being in the spotlight," he told me. I didn't answer him because it was true that I didn't like recording myself. I felt so paranoid and anxious. I only mess up whenever there is a camera around, even if I'm the one who pressed the record button. Just a camera in the room would set me off. Perhaps he was right. Is that the reason why I always get cut off? 

"What are you thinking?" he asked, after a moment of silence.

"Nothing," I shook my head.

"I bet I'm right," he grinned. I was a little frustrated that he said exactly what I was scared he would say-that I was scared of the camera. I edged away from him and sat further on the bench, but he only scooted closer. 

"Why are you edging away? Are you afraid of me too?" he teased and sang as he edged closer and closer to me. I kept edging away from him until I fell off of the bench. 

I glared at him as I was rubbing my bottom. He sighed, got up, and stretched out his hand. Not to mention, he looked content. 

He pulled me up and went to turn on the music system. 

"What are you waiting for? Come here," he motioned. I felt every muscle in my body obey him. It was as if whatever he said, I would follow him. My own body betrayed me. 

"Position yourself like this and look there. See how you can see everything very clearly?" he asked. I nodded. I was too nervous to speak because he was right behind me. He was positioning my arms and my hands. I felt his breath on my neck. 

"Okay. Start from the top and stop when I tell you to," he said as he had his hand on the music system. I nodded to him. 

The music started and I was counting in my head. Not evening finishing the first verse, he stopped the music and went up to me. I felt the hairs on my body stand up. He had his hands on my waist. 

Just move along with me. He was looking at me through the mirror and speaking into my ear. My heart throbbed uncontrollably. I was starting to break into a sweat. 

"Relax and follow me," he said softly as the music started. 

We danced in this position for almost the whole song. I had no idea how he caught on so fast. He was an amazing dancer. I wondered if he knew the dance beforehand. 

"Look in one direction. Don't let your eyes wander. Look up not down. Also, when you mess up, act like you didn't," he taught me as he was fixing my stance. I nodded and bit my lip as I tried what he suggested me. He was in front of me with his arms crossed and it felt like I was dancing just for him although I knew he was just monitoring me. 

All of a sudden, I lost my balance and he was alarmed. I fell to the floor but it seemed like everything around me was moving too. Youngbae seemed to be swaying. Then I knew. It wasn't just me. 

He helped me up, grabbed my hand and my bag and we ran as fast as we could. 

"We can't take the elevator. Can you keep up with me?" he asked. I nodded quickly.

"Good," he replied, before we sped down the flight of stairs. He was so fast I questioned whether or not I could handle it. The stairs felt as if they were moving too. My eyes watered and I quickly wiped them away. It was really loud and I heard shouting and frantic voices through every level we sped down. I had never experienced an earthquake before, at least one that wasn't as bad as this. 

I also wondered why we ran instead of just ducking and covering until it hit me that if we stayed in that room, we would've been crushed and cut by all of the glass and mirrors inside. 

I smelled smoke and not to mention, the alarm went berserk. Youngbae took no break to check on me as he was focused on finding us a way out of the building. None of the floors were collapsing but we felt the need to go down all of the stairs and into the open. We just wanted to get outside. I felt my knees go weak and it was then he looked back at me with a reassuring smile. He grabbed onto my hand tighter and muttered, "we're almost there". 

We reached the bottom floor and went for the door that would bring us into the lobby. He grabbed for the handle but the door wouldn't budge. I was panicking inside. He let go of my hand and tried countless time to get us out. We looked behind us and the smoke was catching up with us. We were stuck. There was a fire in the buidling and this door would not budge. 

We both checked our phone and tried to call. The call would not ring through. We decided that we couldn't call in this situation. The quake stopped a while ago but it left our building in flames. I was panicking so much I couldn't even mutter a word. I noticed our hands were intertwined together. I had no intention of pulling loose. I was so scared and terrified. Youngbae was thinking carefully and he was sweating. It was so hot in here. There was no way for us to go back up the stairs as the fire was spreading downward. It was good that he had led us down here. We had a big problem now. How were we supposed to get out of here? We noticed the air was now very hot and hard to see through. It burned our eyes.

"Get low," he demanded as he pulled me down with him. He took off his shirt and gave it to me. 

"Cover your mouth with this," he told me. I hesitated before doing so. He was shirtless and I saw something I never saw before. A tattoo. My mind was so occupied to even think about anything. I was going to die. I just knew it. 

Youngbae was coughing and here I was, using his shirt while he was coughing. I looked at him and he was staring straight ahead. Would he appreciate it if I took off my tank top?

When he noticed what I was doing, he stopped me abruptly.

"Are you crazy?" he asked before looking away. I felt ashamed but more embarassed. It's not like I was going to show him my upper body. I just wanted to make breathing easier for him. We sat there while listening to the crackle of things burning upstairs. Youngbae kept trying to pry the door open. In some instances it almost budged but we knew that our eyes were playing trick on us. I kept trying to call on my phone but it would never ring through. 

"I think we're stuck for real," he muttered.

"Stay here," he said. I got up.

He pushed me back down and shook his head.

"I'll be back," he told me. For some reason, I didn't believe him. I shook my head as hot tears streamed down my face. He cupped my face in his hands and looked into my eyes. 

"Don't worry. I'm only going to see if there is some way we can get out of here. Pray for me if that makes you feel better," he said. Before I could do anything he sped up the stairs, the direction we had come from. He was going into the fire and he knew that too. Yet he still went. 

I closed my eyes and prayed hard. 

"Please protect Dong Younbae. Don't let him get hurt. I don't want him to go and never come back. Please look after him," I said in a breath. I kept repeating the same things over and over again. 

"There she is," I heard a man shout. I heard loud thumping on the stairs and it was a fireman when I looked up. 

"Where's Youngbae?" I asked.

"We have no time for questions miss."

He pulled me with him as we went wherever he directed us. I had lost my sense of direction and started sobbing.

"Where's Taeyang?!" I shouted, hoping he would understand who I was looking for. 

"I have no idea who you are talking about but there are other firemen searching," he told me before he completely ignored me and led me to safety. He had told me to stay put. Where was he? I had to know. I had to know. 

I shook loose of his grasp and he shouted after me. Unfortunately, he caught me and threw me over his shoulders. 

"LET ME FIND HIM! I HAVE TO FIND HIM EVEN IF I'M GOING TO DIE!!!" I shouted between cries.

"We will find him miss," he reassured me. I wanted to believe him but it was too hard to do so. 

He ran me out of the building and set me down in an area where other people had been saved. I felt lifeless as I was looking around for him. People asked me endless questions about my condition, if I was okay. Fire sirens, flashing lights, hoses, ladders, shouting, screaming, and reporting. I blocked them all out. I looked down into my hands. All I had was his shirt. I held on tighter to it. 

Just as I was going to break into a run and go find him, I saw someone being escorted out. It was him. He was coughing furiously. I broke loose from the people holding me back and ran up to meet him. He looked up and I heard him let out a sigh of relief.

Before I knew what I was doing, I wrapped my arms around him.

"He was so hard to get out of that building. He insisted on going downstairs until I had to use some force on him, to weaken him. I'm sure he's fine but I had to do it. I don't usually hurt people but he was so hardheaded. It was my only choice."

I heard the firemen talk and understood what they did to Youngbae. 

"People are watching," Youngbae muttered. 

"I don't care," I said. 

"You are going to get in trouble," he said before prying me off of him. I was angry. I ran off into the distance and I heard people call me back. Even grown men couldn't hold me back. 

I ran past the policemen and crowds of people. I ran through intersections and into an alley. A deserted one. Exhausted, I collapsed onto the cold concrete floor, closed my eyes, and rested my head on a pole. I panted and breathed aloud. I was also crying. I couldn't explain in words why I was so angry. I felt so tense and bitter. These feelings and emotions were new to me. I had never felt these things in a short amount of time. 

It felt like hours before I finally stopped crying and when I opened my eyes, I almost jumped up from being scared so badly. There he was, sitting across from me and looking at me. I looked away coldly and told him to go away before ignoring him. I heard him get up and sit beside me. 

"Heeyoung," he started. I didn't budge a bit.

"Heeyoung," he said a second time shaking my arm.

"Come on Heeyoung, don't be like this. At least look at me," he pleaded.

I looked at him and looked down. I noticed that his whole arm was bleeding. It stung me but because my pride took priority over me, I acted like I didn't care. 

He used his finger to bring my chin up and make me look at him.

"I'm sorry I didn't come back as I said I would. I-

"Why are you apologizing for that? I don't care. I only wanted you to be safe."

"I was stopped by the firemen. They tried knocking me out and bringing me outside."

"I don't care about that."

"You don't? Then-

"I mean yes I do care, but. But...

"Are you angry at me for not hugging you back?" he asked, looking straight into me. Bingo. He was right. 

"Of course not," I said, looking away. 

"I'm sorry for prying you off of me. I only thought of protecting you from the eyes of everyone. I didn't want you to go through a hard time explaining to everyone. Even though it's a simple gesture I don't want people to make a huge deal out of it. I'm afraid you wouldn't be able to handle the aftermath. So in my head all that time, I only wanted to protect you," he told me. I softened up a little but of course, it was hard to understand considering the fact that I was still quite bitter. 

"Are you still mad at me?" he asked, teasing me a bit by nudging me. 

I ignored him and handed him his shirt. He put it on. 

"I'm sorry for not hugging you back," he apologized, in a singing matter.

"Why do you say it as if I had to have you hug me back!?" I asked him loudly, really annoyed. It sounded pathetic and everything sounded pathetic.

"You are obviously still mad," he smiled. I scowled and looked away again.

"Let me make it up to you then," he whispered.

"How?" I asked, curious.

"Well, you have to turn around for me to do so," he replied. 

I had no idea what I would be in for. 

The moment I turned around, he cupped his hands around my face and brought his toward mine slowly. 

"Close your eyes," he said gently. My body disobeying me once again, I did as told. 

I felt electricity zip through me as his lips brushed mine. My first kiss. He had stolen my first kiss. Was this how kisses were like? They were wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. A simple and short kiss could send me into a frenzy. How amazing what lip to lip contact could do to a person. Slowly, I opened my eyes to see him smirking at me. 

"Do you forgive me?" he asked, teasingly.

"I...you...my...

I felt my lips with my fingers and without knowing, I sent him the wrong message.

"Aniya it's not like that!"

I was shut up by his, "I understand you want more." before he kissed me again. 

We sat here in the cold alley while he was trying his best to make things up to me. What an unexpected apology.

"I'm sorry for acting so immature," I apologized. He let me rest my head on his shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he asked me. 

"I should be asking you that," I corrected him as I was examining his arm. 

"Did they do this to you?" I asked.

"No. It was from breaking a window. I called told a fireman that you were downstairs."

"Then why did you try to come down?"

"It didn't feel right just to leave you there."

"Thank you oppa."

"You're welcome," he answered as he brushed my hair out of my face. I closed my eyes. 

"I think we should go back. Others will be worried," he said quietly.

"Just a moment longer. I promise," I told him. He didn't say anything and so we sat there for a while, without saying anything. Not because we had nothing to say, but because we had too many things to say in a short amount of time. Then and there, I knew what he meant to me.