Author's P.O.V

Tina's standing there as if she can never move again. She wants to shout, but no words come. She wants to cry, but the tears won't drop. 

How do people define happiness? Is it the thing that people sacrifice just to see others happy? 

Whatever is in Aom's mind, she'll never know and she doesn't want to know anymore. It's not that Aom is not important anymore, but she's just scared that if she knows more, she'll be hurt more. And this is the last option thay she can ever want in her life. Is to be hurt by somebody.

And Aom is probably thinking the same thing as her; Aom also doesn't want to be hurt, but what Tina did to her was more than just painful. It was excruciating. 

Or maybe what Aom said was true. Probably Aom doesn't feel anything for her at all. Maybe it's just her all along.

But how can this thing happen in their lives?

What happened in Hua Hin was obvious that Aom was all on Tina, but how come it was so easy for Aom to break up with her? 

Reality isn't anything like the dream. Maybe what happened before was just Tina's dream, and probably, when she wakes up tomorrow, she won't have any idea who Aom is.

But that's also impossible. 

She remembers everything with the unclouded memory. Everything is still fresh. She remembers telling Aom how much she really means to her, and she remembers how much Aom had paid attention to her with every single word.

"Tina?" 

It's Pei who shakes Tina from the doubtful thought. 

"Oh, hi, Pei. About to head to class?"

"Yeah. You don't know I've been here?" 

"Huh?"

"I've been standing for about 10 mins and you don't even know that I am here? What gets your attention like that?" 

"Oh, I'm sorry. I was just lost into my thoughts." 

"You know, you can share with me if you want to. You know, I just saw Aom walked away and you've been just like this.... since." 

"I just don't know what to say. It just all came to me in a sudden and now I'm lost." 

"How about you start where you began with her?" Pei suggests. 

With that, Tina looks down to the ground and allows her tears to slowly drop after one another. 

---

 

A whole day has been a mess, and Tina has no idea what she's been doing for today. When she walks to her car, she can still see the image of Aom waiting for her by her parking spot, looking right at her. By that time, she thought Aom was forgiving her. She thought everything would have been normal. But life isn't a fairy tale. Not every mistake you make can be forgive, Tina thought. Whatever it is, she has to deal with it even if it means to be alone and all. 

All she could hear from Aom this morning was that Aom was asking for a break up, and it's not something that you can smile for. Though she's been trying to smile for today, she could never be happy. Actually, she didn't think she could ever be happy again. My first love is just as disastrous as my life can be, Tina thought. 

Just as she has approached her car, a handsome middle aged man, just suddenly opens his door out of the car, which is parked nearby her car and looks directly at her. It's like he's been waiting for the whole day. And later, when she gets to see the image of the mean more clearly, she suddenly registers it inside her head. 

"Good evening, Tina." The man says. 

"Good evening, uncle Jecht." 

So, Aom's father has been waiting for her all along. What really is his intention?

"You don't mind even you talk to this old man for a minute?" He shrugs with a polite smile. 

Tina is reluctant, but what else can she say? 

"No, I don't mind at all. And You're not old too. You're still young and handsome!" Tina compliments.

"I'm flattered. How about we talk at your school's coffee shop?" Jecht suggests. 

"Anywhere is fine." Tina smiles. 

---

 

"You must be wondering why I am suddenly waiting for you and asking you for a talk like that?" Jecht asks just as his coffee has arrived. 

When they first got here, Tina was kinda nervous because Jecht has never looked this serious before. He has always respected her as his boss' daughter. but now, she's not sure what to think. 

"A little." Tina smiles and sips her coffee too. 

"I would be the same as you too if I were you." Jecht loosens his tie and continues. "It's about you and Aom." 

Bingo, Tina thought. She has this little sense that Jecht would come to her beacuse of his daughter.

"Yes?" 

"Tina, what's going on between you two?"

"Friends. We are definitely friends." Tina lied. Technically, they are now friends. But they both know that they still have feelings for each other even if they just broke up this morning. None of them could get over each other that quickly. 

"Are you really?" Jecht asks again. 

"Yes, we are." 

"Then why did I see some strange notes and a beautiful ring placed on her table when I got home? Is that what friends do?" 

Tina has to swallow before she answers the question.

"That I can explain-"

"You don't have to. My daughter can help you with that. But the reason that I am here today is not for the enquires. It's for something else." 

Tina dares herself to look straight into his eyes, and she expects him to look like a mad father, but instead, he looks like a father whose daughter is about to disappear from the world. His eyes are soft, and they're full of worries. 

"I am here to ask you for a favor."

"What can I help you with?" 

By the time she's waiting for his answer, she randomly thinks that if it's because of something else. If it's with money, she definitely can help him. With a signature on the cheque, it solves everything. But something that it tells her that it's not about the money at all. It's probably about something else again.

"I know that you've never had a kid before and so, you don't know how it feels like to worry about your child all the time, but I do. I'm worried about my daughter all the time even if she's all grown up now. What she does reflects to the whole family. And please understand this, Tina. I am a man with a tradition, and my family follows me too. I can't afford to let my daughter walks out of the tradition that I have instructed her. I think carefully before I act. And if I have to see her breaking any of my rules, it's like I can't call myself her father.

"She has always been a good girl, and she knows how to behave in the society. She knows what she is doing, and she's always been good at that. But ever since she met you, everything has changed." He pauses and shakes his head. "I mean no offense to you, Tina, but I'm begging for your understanding. I know she still has this special feelings for you, and that she can never change easily. I know I'm being selfish, and I can never bring this topic to talk to your father because he's my boss. What I can do right now is to beg you to listen to me. I can't afford to let my daughter be the way she is right now." 

"I'm not so sure what you're trying to ask me, uncle Jecht." Tina pretends that she doesn't understand this. But indeed, she understands it clearly and well. He's asking me to get away from his daughter.

"Okay, can you....-"

"Can I stop having this relationship with your daughter?" Tina counters back. 

Jecht nods. 

Tina simply smiles and answers. "We've already broken up, if that answers your question. We have nothing anymore."

"But if you continue to stay, the feelings of hers will never fade." 

"So your favor for today, is for me to get away from your daughter's life?"

"I know it's selfish to ask you for this. But I can't afford to transfer her to the other university. She can get into her because of your father. And if she has to get away from here, we all know how she'll end up like." 

"Uncle Jecht, I love you and I respect you just as much as I respect my father. But my father would never do such thing to me if he discovered that I can never really fit in this society. I was born the way I am, and it's not something that I can change. And neither can Aom. You're asking me to get away from here just because of your sake, don't you think that you're hurting two young people intentionally? You think about your own benefits without even thinking of other people?"

"Tina, she's my daughter, and I am her father. If I say no to this, things will change. And I don't want to do that because it hurts you both so much. So it's your choice, Tina. It really is your choice."

---

 

"Tina, what's wrong?" Mean asks Tina just as soon as Tina steps into the house. 

"I'm fine." Tina fakes a smile and goes straight up to her room. Mean follows.

"You know you can always talk to me." Mean sits on the edge of the bed while Tina puts her bag on her table. 

"Like I said, I'm fine." 

"but you don't look fine to me." 

Mean looks very concern, and by that moment, Tina realizes that why she has never noticed how much Mean cares of her? Mean has always known what is wrong with Tina, while Aom, on the other hand, doesn't really notice that.

"I just have a bad day, that's all, Mean." Tina smiles again. 

Mean walks up to Tina by her table and grabs Tina's face in her hands. "Please." 

By that moment, Tina knows that Mean has always been there for her, and she's trying to delete Aom from her heart. Trying to do whatever it takes to get her away from this. And she knows that Mean is able to help her with it. 

Without thinking twice, she leans closer and closer to Mean's face until their breath touches each other's face. She knows what she is going to do. 

Mean can sense what really is coming, and she doesn't refuse this action. Tina looks straight into her eyes as if she's asking Mean for the permission, and Mean just simply closes her eyes. Closer and closer, Tina's lips brushes Mean's and it feels as if this moment should last for eternity. Just as Tina's lips touch hers, all of a sudden, she realizes, that's what she's always wanted from Tina from the very first time that they met.

 

---

If doing the heartbreaking thing was a crime, Aom would be in jail right now. Or maybe... worse than that. She has to admit herself that she's good at breaking people's heart. Like really really good. But she's never imagined tearing off anyone's heart could actually do the same thing to her. Like she could hear her heart cracking from the inside as well. It's like somebody has just punched her heart, right where it is, and it just keeps bleeding. 

"Hey?" It is Tina again who comes to talk to her. 

"Hi." Aom smiles awkwardly. "Not that you haven't noticed... but... we..." 

"I know" Tina smiles with the words to break her off.

"Oh... If I were you, I wouldn't be standing in front of me again." Aom is playing around with her food in the cafeteria. 

"I wouldn't want to do the same thing either. You hurt me much more than you think you did." Tina sets the plate down on the table just as she's talking. 

"Okay." 

Tina sighs and continues. "Look... I really am... trying my best to stay this close to you just to tell you a few words before we finally break apart." Tina swallows her food. "I totally understand that you don't wanna see me anymore. You don't wanna do anything related to me in whatever reason it is. I just don't care anymore. I've had enough of it." 

"Excuse me?" Aom raises her voice. 

"Just let me finish off-"

"NO! I don't wanna listen to any of your words more. Do you really think it was easy for me to break up with you? Do you think that it's easy to allow you and Mean could get together while I could hear my heart cracking from the inside as well? Like, what is your heart made from? Why can't it sense any painful thing within it while I feel every pain bursting from my chest?" Aom stands up; and everybody's looking at them. They're definitely interested in this now. 

"I thought you were the one who broke everything or even the bond between us. I thought you would never care again even if I had to die because of your poisonous words. Seriously, what exactly do you want from me? You came right to me, asked me for a break up, and I agreed. And why are you now demanding me to see how much pain you're having?" Tina's eyes widen.

By that, Aom almost forgot that she is the one who really asked for the break up, not Tina. Maybe she's a little bit overreacting.

"Okay."

Tina sighs and continues.

"I don't care what reasons you have, and I don't wanna know them. Whatever you think, whatever you say, it's over between us. I might have been weak earlier, but I promise I won't be that weak in front of you today. YOU destroyed me, and I'm trying to overcome the problem. Whatever you might think of me, I'm leaving here for good."

"Then good! Just go and enjoy your life! You might be even happier without me!"

"Yeah, you're right. We aren't just made for each other and I've always known that. I just came by to confirm that we're really finally over. And I forgot to tell you, I'm leaving to England a month or so. So yeah, you should be happy that you won't see me anymore." With that, Tina storms off from the canteen.