Aom's P.O.V

 

Have you ever bumped into someone who you wish to see so much when you're with someone else? Someone who you don't even think you can ever like? It all happened last night. 

I had no idea where Van was taking me to, and I didn't even care to ask. My mind was stuck with a specific person whom I don't want to remove. Yet, I was and am trying because the mistake she made was so huge to me until I couldn't believe myself. Why all of a sudden this thing is happening to me? Why can't it be on someone else? 

So, Van took me to that newly-opened bar, which was on its grand openning event, and the crowd were just crowded. I didn't even think I wanted to join the event, but Van insisted me so much until I had no other choice. When I got into that bar, everything around me went blue, and all I saw was that couple holding their hands. I didn't understand why she would repeat her mistake all over again when her previous one hasn't been solved yet. She was holding another girl's hand in front of me without thinking of explaining me why. All she did was to let me get into the bar with Van. I didn't want her to think that she was dominant in my life, so, I went on with Van. 

Who knew the alcohol was so much to bear? Only a few shots could make me go wild. I really didn't remember anything. Though I only remembered someone was putting his or her arms around me, and I didn't even like it. I tried to get away, but it was no use. But then, that angel voice came out of nowhere, shouting like she had never shouted before. She threatened that one until he went away. I was so blessed. I was happy. Then everything went blank after that scene. 

 

It feels warm to be here because the blanket which was put on me, was put comfortably. It feels right to open my eyes to see someone I feel like I've known for my entire life. I don't want to think that what I remembered earlier was just a dream; I want it to happen. I want the best person in my life to help me without any reason like she did last night. But then, I can't tolerate her because what she has done was beyond my forgiveness. 

By thinking of that, I wake up immediately and I realize this isn't my home. I feel so dizzy until I can't see anything so properly. Though I know one thing. There's someone sitting on the couch in front of my bed, looking at me, and she isn't wearing her normal clothes! She's wearing a sleeping robe! I try to check myself but now I know I'm wearing the same thing! What has happened again?

"You're awake?" Tina asks me nicely. 

She then stands up and walks to my bed. 

"Don't come close to me." I warn her, but she ignores. 

I love it when she ignores this warning just to fight me back. 

" Not that I can help it." She smiles. 

We're both silent, then she talks again. 

"Do you want any breakfast?"

"Don't we have to go to school? I need to go." 

"No, I already called the school explaining why we wouldn't be going today."

"You can just enjoy yourself here as long as you want. I'm going." Then I harshly get out from the bed, but then she hugs me from behind. 

"Listen to me first. Please, I beg you. I promise you that after you've listened to this, and you still want to leave me, I will never interfere into your life again. I promise I won't exist in front of you." 

This brings me calm. This brings me sadness. 

"You have 5 minutes to say then." I get up from the bed to stand, so does she. 

"I'm a coward, Aom, I know I am. There are so many reasons why I'm so afraid of letting you know. I thought if you never knew, you would never be in pain as much as I am. I didn't want to think of any possiblities that you could know, but now you do, you have to listen to me." 

"4 and a half minutes." I remind her. Even though I act as a tough girl, there's still a part of me which is still in vain just to hear from her. 

"I got lured, and I-"

"You what? You're trying to tell me you slept with Mean? For god's sake, you bring this topic to talk to me this early in the morning? Who do you think I am? Your crazy obsession? You know what, I already knew, and I even saw it. But Tina, I've been telling myself the whole time that whatever happened was just an accident or whatever, then you would tell me and ask me for my forgivness. I kept waiting! I waited the whole time to hear from you! I wanted to believe you, and I wanted so badly just to forgive you! But what have you done? You've been acting like this was all your intention and you feel sorry just to see me. The longer you took, the more I thought that you really did it intentionally. You know what? I don't care about it anymore and It's fine."

"Never say it's fine when it's really not. I know I am wrong, and I can never correct that. I should ask for your forgiveness, but I'm not. What I've done was far beyond what I'm hoping for. But what I'm asking you today is for your understanding. I got lured, I've told you that. The day it happened, Mean visited me in my room, and I had no idea what she was bringing me to. And again, it's not something like an excuse I'm telling you. I speak only the truth for this moment. 

I honestly didn't know what she put in my drink at that time, but she handed me a cup a milk. After I took the sip, my head was all foggy and I forgot everything. The moment I woke up, it was too late to apologize anyone." She doesn't dare to look at me. 

"You think I can just believe this silly joke of yours? You've gotta be kidding me, Tina." I walk away from her to the window and take a deep breath. 

She doesn't say anything, and she's still looking at the floor. 

"After all this time, you've just told me that you got lured, and you have nothing to do with it? Tina, use your head and think about my feelings! After all a thousand times, Mean has always loved you, and you know that. You still gave her chances to stay with you even if you knew it hurt me a lot worse than a car could crush me. Did you care? I told you to be careful, didn't I? I told you that Mean lived under the same roof with you, and you knew how she felt for you, but then you still ignored it. Now that this happened, you're asking me to understand?

I'll ask you to understand me now, Tina. What I've been through was a lot more than you think you can endure it. You destroyed me! You ruined my life! You've tried so hard of all your life just to get me to be in love with you. Now that I do, you're trying to let me go. Do you actually understand the pain I feel when saw you lying in bed with Mean that day? Of course, you don't! You never-"

"I KNOW THE FEELING, AOM!" Tina shouts back to me and that's when I realize I am too much. 

I stay silent, though my eyes are still focusing on hers.

"It hurts me, probably much more than I deserve whenever I see you with Van. YOU also know how Van feels for you, yet you're trying to revenge me by staying close to him? I could read you, Aom! But don't play with me like that. The thing between Mean and I was something I could never make up, but for all I can ask now is for your understanding. Do you understand me, Aom?" She looks into my eyes straightly as if they're so eager about my answer, yet, I stay calm. I want to hear more than this. I want her to make me believe in her fully again so that I don't have any doubt in the future. 

"I love you, Aom. Much more than you deserve, but I already am deeply in love with you that I've never thought of myself, even for one second, of being with another girl. It sounds like a boring poem, but you're a true passion to me. I don't know if I could find someone like you even if I had forever to search. Believe in me, please?"

I do. I want to tell her that, but I'm stuck. 

After having heard her voice, her speech, her explanation, my anger has all gone, and it remains only the feelings that I feel like I've lost for a long time. The feeling of being in love again. The feeling that I want to show her so much until I want to throw myself to her. Though not now. Not here. 

She then walks to me at the window, her left hand on my waist. Her right hand on my shoulder. I don't refuse because it feels good to be back again. 

We both stay like this for a long time, and neither of us break the silence. Only until my phone ring. 

---

Tina's P.O.V

 

The thing that I have always meant to explain Aom is now finally over. I did explain her, and I think we both are okay now. Or that's what I suppose. I know I am selfish that after what I've done, I'm still stupid to ask her for her understanding. But love is always selfish. Everybody knows. 

I hated it when Aom and I almost reached our agreement but then her phone rang. She just went out, and when she came back, she told me she had to leave and I had to take her home. I wanted to know if she was still mad at me by holding her hand, but luckily, she didn't take her hand away from me. I don't know if it was that she finally forgave me or she thought of other things, but her mind wasn't really with me the whole time after she had recieved the phone call. What did that phone call do to her? Why all of a sudden?

"Thank you." was all what she said when she left me then she ran into the house without turning back. 

At least the gives me a smile on my face now that I can finally think of her. I miss her a lot. the memories of her being naughty but fine to me are still in my head. Finally, Aom and I can find something to share with each other again. 

I'm sitting by the piano in my other room, trying to compose a new song to Aom with the feelings of things we've been through. The song consists of everything. She's the only one who inspires me with everything. 

"You surely are a good player, Tina." P'Air walks into the room with a plate of food on her hand and sits next to me by the piano. 

"I am." I smile. 

"I hardly see you smile these days. But now that I can, everything goes right, right?" P'Air offers me the food. 

"I guess so." I smile again. 

"I hope so. Mean just asked me where you were at the moment ago." 

"Did you tell her where I am?" I ask. 

"I said I didn't know. But I knew where to find you in a big house like this." 

"You know me." I smirk. 

"Mom and Dad are back, by the way. They bought so many stuffs for us." P'Air raises the topic.

"They are? I miss them so much. Where are they now?" 

P'Air shrugs. "I don't know. They were home before you arrived home. They're probably out again." 

"Again?" 

"They're supposed to be somewhere else now since they need to resume back to their business, right? By the way, why are you still here? You're supposed to be at school." She asks.

"I called to school saying I wouldn't be there. Neither would Aom." I smile. 

"Where did you both go last night? I didn't reckon you were home last night." 

"We were at somewhere only both of us belonged." I smirk again. And she made that disgusted face in a joking way.

"Yeah, right. I was the one who solved your mess." 

"My big apologies." I stick out my tongue. 

"Have you had your breakfast yet?" She asks.

I shake my head. 

"There are still food left in the kitchen, you know." she suggests. 

"No, I'm not hungry." 

She stays quiet for a while. 

"You know you should talk to Mean again." Here she goes. I knew this was coming.

"Tell me some good reasons I should do that, P." 

She sighs. 

"She's a part of your sister, isn't she?" 

"A sister should not do what she has done to me." I shake my head again.

"But at least you know that she loves you. Love blinds people, that's why."

I stand up and put my hands in my pocket.

"I don't know what I should talk to her. Whenever I see her, I am terribly disgusted by what she has done to me. The thing is, Aom almost hated me the rest of her life and I wouldn't know what to do if she didn't forgive me."

"But she did, didn't she?" 

"I don't know. But at least I don't have to get that negative attitude again, do I?" 

"Then you should say something to her again. Solve it out. I hate to see you and her like this."

"I'll think about it." that's all I have to say.

Just as she tries to open to say something, my phone rings. Aha! It's Aom! I hardly see this phone calls me these days! Good signs are happening. 

"Tina?" Aom asks.

"I am here." I reply gently.

"Can you pick me up?" She asks.

"Huh? To where?" I said. 

"Anywhere. Anywhere we both can enjoy. I want to take a day off with you." 

"When?" 

"Now if possible." I can feel something in her which makes me feel not right. It doesn't sound like she's excited to go. It's more like she's telling herself that it's the last time she can go with me.

"Aom? Are you okay?" 

"I'm fine. Come now. I'll be waiting." Then she hangs up her phone.