Tina's P.O.V

 

"You don't get to say that yet, does that mean that you'll be saying that in the future?" I shrug and she laughs while she's still resting her head on my shoulder.

She thinks for a moment then continues.

"I would rather keep it within me." Aom doesn't laugh anymore. 

"I don't get it." I rest my head on hers but then she refuses immediately by raising her face to meet mine.

"Some words are not meant to say but meant to act." I lock my eyes on hers; she's just the right person who has those beautiful eyes in the whole world. I would be saying all the same thing over and over again that those eyes are meant for me, if you asked.

"I'm looking forward to seeing you showing me." I smile though she doesn't. 

"If you understand me, then I bet you'll know me enough." she sighs and I pull my eyebrows together.

"I know you and I am knowing you." I joke.

"What do you mean?" she, on the other, is locking her beautiful eyes with mine and never leave.

I cup her face with my left hand and she doesn't pull her face away. That feels like heaven existing in the world. Her face is flawless, smooth and it matches perfectly with my hand as if it's meant for my hand only.

"There are always things hidden within you, Aom. Don't you tell me that I know everything about you yet. I am learning every piece of information little by little. That'll help me remembering everything about you."

Then again, she's resting her head on my chest this time and I don't even refuse because it feels just too great.

"What type of person am I?" She whispers out her question.

"You? Well, you're very nasty." Then she hits me on my belly where she was resting her arm on at the moment. I laugh then I continue. "That's true, by the way. What I exactly mean is that you just like to keep things to yourself. You like to discuss your problems with friends though you don't talk about it the one who you're having that problem with. I'm not saying that you're a gossiper but you just don't want things to get bigger." I sigh and so does she. I don't even have to think about that because she's just everything inside my head right now.

"Partly correct." she murmurs.

I giggle.

"And I hope, someday, I can be able to hear that word from you and I'm always looking forward to that. I'll be ready every time you wanna say that. You know you have me."

She sighs heavily and she's no longer in laughing mood.

"Tina, look, I take this very seriously. I don't just want to love you today and end up walking away from each other tomorrow. I want it to be eternal. And to meet this stage of my life, to stay in this stage with me, there are things you should let me see. Let me be proved. You're lucky enough that I have finally opened a way for you to get me because I have sworn to myself that I will never ever and ever let it happens.

I thought my heart was finally over when I was younger. That I would never want to feel this with anyone. It could only happen when I have to meet the right person at the right time. By the right time, I mean after me graduating from my studies. But for you, I didn't even think that you were the right person for me from the start. However, based on that, I really would like to thank you that you did a lot of things to make me feel overwhelmed and I have never felt this before. 

I know you feel this strong feeling for me and I really appreciate that. I really love to be loved. But I really want to take this thing slow. No rush or anything. If we're meant to be together, and so it will be. It's just a matter of time." Thens she turns her face to meet mine again.

I don't know what else to say and instead, I'm losing myself into a deep thought, thinking of her and I.

"You just have to go home, Tina." she continues.

I shake my head. "No, I'm staying with you. Well, at least until your parents come back."

"No, really, I'll be fine. Someone needs you at home." She whispers as if that last sentence hurts her.

"Huh?" then I her hair and she just continues again.

"I heard that conversation between you and Mean at the moment." she sighs again.

"No, it's nothing. You don't have to feel bad for anything." 

"No, Tina. It's not that. I am also the one who is involved with this thing and I know exactly how it feels like to be ignored for someone else. And it wouldn't feel any better without any explanations. You need to at least something to cheer her up."

She pauses and continues. "I might not be okay with that but I'll be worse if Mean is left unspoken and only finds us unspoken. I want her to understand just in case we both happen. I don't want anyone to feel like they're so unhappy seeing us together. Do you get me, Tina?" Then she leaves to stand by the bed. 

I get to my feet. "So it's that again? You want proof?" I smile and she nods.

"If you love me enough, this shouldn't be a difficult task." 

"I don't know if it's because you don't want Mean to be in pain or it's that the proof you have always wanted." I joke but she doesn't seem to laugh. She's standing there, studying my facial expression. How am I supposed to act when she's doing that to me?

"Love is sometimes selfish, Tina. I want you all to myself and I also don't want anybody to be in pain just because of seeing us together. I might end up being upset and such." She pauses then continues. "I know that there isn't only Mean who is having that huge crush on you. You're attractive, Tina. Like very. It's just... hard for me sometimes to walk around with you and to get all those stares from girls I have no idea who they are. You don't know how many times I have ignored those creepy looks." She sighs and comes back to sit on the bed.

"I know. I'm sorry." I sigh.

"You'd be going. I bet Mean is waiting for the talk in your room. She will never leave unless you get home now." she crooked a smile that I love the most.

"Will I see you in the morning?" I stand up and walk to her. I gently hold both of her palms. She doesn't refuse my hold and instead, she's holding mine back.

"Of course." She smiles; so do I. 

I kiss her gently on the cheek and let her go. I walk out of the room to the front door as she's following me as well. Saying goodnight to me just before I leave. 

---

Mean's P.O.V

 

What would you do when you love someone so dearly that he or she finally, at the end, turns up against you? How would you feel about that? Is it counted as a betrayal or what?

I have had a crush on her for so long that she doesn't even realize how much pain I've been through just to be with her. I was smiling to myself everyday, every night when I was away from her whenever I thought about her. And now I know, she doesn't even care a single thing I do. She doesn't even appreciate what I have done.

It's almost midnight right now and Tina hasn't returned home yet. She's never been like this before and I don't get it why our parents don't even care about her not returning home. They know that Tina hasn't come home yet but then they found out that Tina is over at Aom's house then they let go of everything. Even P'Air. 

P'Air was smiling widely when she knew that Tina was at Aom's house. It was as if she won a jackpot. I know that P'Air knows everything about Tina but just she doesn't speak to me about it. There's nothing about Tina that P'Air doesn't know. they share things. 

I'm wandering around inside my own room. Basically, I also know why but I think I have the biggest room compared to P'Air's and Tina's room. These sisters don't really like to live in big rooms and of course, their rooms are still big if you ask me. I mean, the house we're living in everyday isn't counted as a "house" at all but almost a mansion and such. Therefore, all of the rooms are still huge. P'Air, by her own explanation, said she doesn't have much belongings until she requires a big room for her own. But who knows? Since her room is still big and she can still buy items to fill in there. And Tina, well, she's very artistic. She prefers to live in a smaller room than I have but she, on the other, still has another room for her own personal stuffs. She doesn't want anyone to get into there. Like I said, she's very artistic and she's has that talent lies within her that she's extremely good at music. So, I I can asnwer you that they're just things which are related to her talent. She spends a majority of her time inside her room whenever she's free. She would allow you to get into that room if she's in it. 

I sometimes can hear the music playing around in the room. I remember when we were young, Tina didn't allow anybody to get into that room of hers, and I was so keen to listening to her music. She plays piano perfectly and she also wouldn't play it in the living room. Not unless she was asked by our parents. Though she would play it alone in the room. I remember sitting beside the door of that room, listening to her playing her music until I fell asleep. I was always carried back to my room when that happened then she would sit beside me when I woke up, saying she was sorry that she didn't let me in because she didn't know when I was there. 

I was always stupid that I fell in love with her music, her charms, her personalities and her everything. And I still do. Her charms is just something I need to see as I have to continue living on this planet. Her words are like swords which sometimes could kill me inside without me realizing it though they sometimes praise me, pick me up from the dirt where I fall into. Her music is like my personal drug. I can never resist her when she plays and I wonder as well that when I can get out of this.

*Bang*

I'm so losing myself into the thought that I almost can't hear the sound of the door shutting. Her room is exactly in front of mine and I know exactly that she's here.

I run to my door immediately when I hear that sound; surprisingly she's still by the door.

"Tina? Can I have a minute with you?" I ask just as she's by her door, opening it.

She turns to me with a raising of her eyebrows then nods slightly.

I don't have to walk to her room this time because she's walking to my room and is getting into my room. She doesn't normally get inside here unless she has something important to talk to me. Now that she does, who knows what will happen?

She shuts the door behind me silently but doesn't even attempt to lock the door. I'm sitting by the couch since our parents provide me a set of it and I don't know why. She just follows me and she sits somewhere pretty far from me so that - well, maybe I can't touch her.

She's sitting there, looking at me cluelessly, and at the end, she bursts out asking.

"So, you're not just asking me to sit here and watch you all night? Because I really need to get some sleep." She's looking at me with her curious eyes.

I shake my head with a smile and she doesn't say anything either. She's waiting for me make the talk happening.

"You wouldn't say that if I were Aom." I whisper.

She darkens her eyes. "It's not like that." She says in a pitiful voice.

"I don't want your pity though I want your heart. You think you can give that?" 

"I can only give it to a specific person." she whispers.

I turn away to hide my sadness for a moment then turn back.

"And that person should be me." 

She shakes her head in a disapproval and that hurts me as if someone has put a knife strike in my chest.

"You know who I mean." She sighs then continues. "You're not Aom." 

"I'm not trying to get you by pretending to be the girl I can never be. You don't have to feel like I'm trying to act like her and do stuff like her because I never will." Of course, what she has said it's as if she means I have this kind of mental problem that I would try to copy whatever Aom does. In other word, she means I wanna be Aom. 

"Then stop grabbing my attention, Mean, because you know you will also never have it. What I do to you each day is generous enough to be counted as we're related." She sighs.

"Since when you were this cold to me?" She's been very strange lately that the way she talks to me, it's as if she hates me. As if she thinks I am nothing to her at all.

She widens her eyes then returns them to be normal again.

"Since I know you and I are not capable." She sighs.

I can feel that heat inside me is about to burst, and it feels as if she has slapped me in the face very hard that I really can't manage myself to talk properly. 

"Or since you know you have those creepy feelings for Aom?" I strike back.

"You define my romance as creepy?" She sounds so shocked that she's heard me spoke that.

"Isn't it not, Tina? You don't even know what you want exactly from her."

"Yes, you're right. I didn't know what exactly I want from her but now I do."

She shakes her head. "You don't know. Mean, it's not because of Aom, to begin with. It's just us and I'll never feel right if we have this kind of relationship. Even if she didn't exist in this little world, you wouldn't be my choice either. You're a part of me, and you remain with me forever but think about it wisely. By that, I will never leave you out of this world because you're my sister. We're bound to be together this way.

She pauses then continues again. "I can be nice to you only if I know that you have finally gotten over me and that you're finding someone else you love. Someone who is not me. You have to rethink of what we are again, clearly." 

I can feel those salty drops of water are flipping around in my eyes. "If you don't even love me, why were you so nice to me when we were little? What was with all the cheering thing for me when I was so down?"

She's looking down at the floor right now as if to find the right word to talk to me.

"It's because I wanted you to be strong! You were to weak to handle everything on your own! You think what I did was to try capturning your heart? Be wise on that!" She raises her voice.

"But I..." I couldn't find the right word to say.

"No matter what happen, you and I will never be possible, you understand? Never!" she raises her voice again and I feel that I am just abandoned and I am no longer needed.

I feel that sudden anger rises inside my chest.

I stand up immediately and walk through the door. "I am totally wrong at your true self." then I shut the door and run away.