Tina's P.O.V

Okay, I admit that I kinda felt happy when I left Aom's house to mine. That almost brought me to heaven when she said she would consider about me. To tell you the truth, I'm not ready for this yet either. My reason is simple. It's just because I'm not sure what I want Aom to be in my life. I doubt that. However, I also don't want to lose her. Will that explain everything? I guess not. We'll see.

However, my good mood was all ruined by the time I got home. I can't blame on Mean, either. She just cared of me, and why was I being so mean to her? What the heck happened to me back then? Perhaps I can just pretend like nothing happens and then just talk to her back tomorrow. 

I shake my head as this thought come to mind and it's not easy to talk to someone again after you have almost gone into a fight with. Irritating, isn't it?

I try to ignore the negative thoughts inside my head then think back to the heaven I have once experienced which happened almost an hour ago. I smile widely and I swear I have no ideas of why I'm doing this but I just do. 

I want to clarify Aom more whether I should do my job of picking her up from school or not for tomorrow and the days afterward since she mentioned something about me should not picking her up anymore. Gosh! The idea of not picking her up kinda haunts me somehow and it feels like I'm just nothing in a car to school alone without her. 

As so, I grab my iPhone and then text to her:

"Hi Ms. Manaying :)" then I giggle to myself and am imagining her scoffing.

it only takes her about 30 seconds to reply me back and that's the quickest text I've ever received from her.

"Now what's the problem again? Didn't my back-hugging make you feel satisfied at all that you have to text me when I almost go to bed? *eyes rolling*" I know she must be giggling.

I hurriedly reply her back.

"Well, it will satisfy me more if you give me a hug like you did to me when I almost left your house. :P" I smile at my own jokes.

"Oh please, that was the only way I could do to make you feel alive and I swear I'm not giving you any starts from now on." she replies me so quick.

"I wish you could do it." - me.

"We'll see about that." - her.

"Will I get to see you in my *car* tomorrow?" I change the subject and yes, that's the main point why I'm texting her.

"You may go without me. -_- " - her.

"You know I don't want that." - me.

"Then just take me there. Gosh, I can't believe you made me speak this out." Playful Aom is back.

"Will I get another hug tomorrow morning?" I smile then press send.

I don't know where she's been but she suddenly stops replying me and that gets me so curious.

I'm debating to myself whether I should make a phone call to her or not but just as soon as I decide that I should call, Mean opens the door in.

"Hey" She calls.

"Hi" Of course, we're all in our pajamas since we almost go to bed right now and it's late as well. and I wonder why she has to come back here again.

"Can I come in?" she's not trying to have my permission because she will just have to be in the room by the way.

"Sure, come in." I smile politely.

She closes the door quietly just to make sure that she doesn't disturb anybody's sleep. She's walking slowly to me as if she's taking her time to think of what she should say to me and of course, here she comes, sitting next to me on the bed.

"You're right, I shouldn't invade much into your personal matters and I guess I should just stay me." she still hasn't looked at my face yet.

I take a huge exhale and then reply her back.

"I shouldn't have said those words to you. I'm sorry. I mean you're my sister and I shouldn't be that mean to you."

She doesn't say anything but then, she suddenly hugs me tightly without letting me breathe. A few seconds later, she releases me out of her arms.

Her eyes almost cries. We're silent for a few seconds later, suddenly, my phone buzzes. 

It's a text from Aom saying: "You can even get a kiss from me if you behave well. Sorry I felt asleep at the moment. I'll see you tomorrow. Night." Then I know she must be sleeping.

I read the text with a huge smile on my face but then I realize tha it wasn't only me who read the text. I can't believe Mean read along with me as well.

"You? Her? Kissing?" Mean's voice suddenly turns to anger.

"Mean, that's not what you think. We have never kissed each other before." I reject.

"Tina, is she the reason why you've been behaving so poorly to me lately? Is she behind everything?" she sounds as if everything is on Aom.

I narrow my eyes again and her words almost lead me to anger but I hold myself.

"Mean, the problem is between us, not about anybody else." I complain back.

"You could have chosen me if she didn't exist." her face is still the same, anger and straight.

"Now you're being unreasonable." I roll my eyes.

"And do you think you're reasonable enough that you break my heart into pieces then run to another girl without bothering looking back at me collecting the pieces back?"

Gosh, why havne't I realized that? What have I done? 

I remain silent because I honestly don't know what to say and so she continues.

"And do you think that it's easy enough for me to talk to you and smile like nothing happens between us while you already know that I'm all on you 100%?  Do you have any idea how much heartbroken I am every time I think of how you might be taken by someone- someone who is not me? How can you be so mean to me? How can you be so loyal to Aom but not me? You let her capture your heart but why won't you let me? How can you possibly do that to me? How can you change so much ever since Aom came into our lives?"

"It's not all about Aom, Mean. It's all about feelings. You can't blame somebody else for taking your crush's heart away from you because you also know that loving someone is not your choice to make. Your heart just goes and you have nothing to hold it back." I shake my head.

"You're right. My heart just goes and I have nothing to hold it back. My heart goes to you and I have nothing to hold it back either. Tell me what else can I do beside wishing for a huge miracle to happen? A miracle that I could hold your heart in my hand?" 

"You know I won't choose you." I whisper.

She sobs her tears and flash her eyes at me.

"Then please just tell me why you don't choose me over her." Well, this is heart to explain.

"I wish I had words to explain you but everything is only kept inside my head and it's as if it's only between me and her. It's only for us to understand, Mean. I'm not trying to break your heart and I'm sorry. If my kindness has made you feel wrong for me this way, I'm just sorry. I've never imagined us could be something else that you want. The pictures in my head between you and I are always siblings. Lovely siblings." I shrug.

"But you know I love you." she whispers.

"And you know clearly that I have nothing more than a sister for you." my face remains calm.

"Tina, what can I do to make you fall in love with me?" Her face is just upset as always.

I shake my head and look straight into her eyes.

"You don't have to do anything to capture my heart because that's not the way I want it. Whenever I love or like someone, she won't just have to do anything. It's all on my own who just suddenly falls for her. But it's just not happening on you." I put my face down.

She turns to hold my hand which quite shocks me but I don't remove my hand from hers. If keeping this hand inside hers makes her feels better, then I can do it for now.

"You can think that I'm all insane but I'm not gonna give up. I'm gonna fight for you until my heart stops beating." she sounds so sad.

She turns to kiss me on my cheek then walks to opens my door and leaves.