Aom's P.O.V

 

The immediate happiness enters into my heart when I see her appearance appears in my sight. The image of her can comfort me way better than Van's embrace can do. The appearance which I could never find any other image to compare to. I've been aching to see her, to find her, to look for her everywhere I can.

I have always believed that if I met her again after her disappearance, she would smile at me like she always does, but then, everything doesn't seem to be in my expectation. In this reality, she's just like another person who doesn't even happen to know who I am. Tina, who appears to be always in T-shirt and jeans, appears to be someone in suit, like a matured person, a business-look-like with this cold attitude. Yes, she still doesn't wear anything girlie. A suit for a man but she looks incredibly hot with the black suit and leather shoes. Her eyes are so cold, appearing from where she stands at the sidewalk, reflecting their brown color, looking toward me. She still hasn't left her gaze from me and Van. I feel the immediate guilt of letting Van hug me like that or even kissed me on my forehead.

I jerk back from Van immediately when I come to think that it's only because of Van hugging me, that's why she is that cold. She doesn't even say hi, doesnt even smile, doesn't even nod, and doesn't even come to place her gentle hand on me. Why does she have to torture me like that? Instead, she leaves the stuff which fell from her hands at the moment and walks away with a calm expression.

"Tina, wait!" I shout from where I stand though she doesn't even listen.

Van looks so confused and he still doesn't get anything yet at all. Basically, Tina's new looks totally surprises everyone for now. 

"Aom, no!" He grabs my wrist hardly as I'm trying to pull him away.

"Let me go!" I try to pull him free as hard as I can but I just can't do anything. Tina's walking away without turning her back to me and that urges me to get away from Van even more.

"Just let her go! Did you forget what I said? You two aren't capable of each other." He said as he forces me to look at him. He is really serious and he doesn't even joke anymore. This is so not him.

"Just let me go! Do you wanna know who's really not capable of being with me? It's just you! I just don't know how to tell you such a harsh like that but now you're forcing me! Please just let me go! I really need to talk to her!"

His eyes go blank and his hands set me free from his grab. Now I know it's the only chance I can run to Tina. I secretly wish I didn't say such a thing like that to him and it's really ungrateful of me that I treat him like that. It's as if I take him for granted for I don't. I just feel like I need to say anything I can to let him set me free and he did.

"I'm sorry." then I run away from Van without any looking back to him.

Tina keeps on walking and I keep on running. It's not that far but I feel like it's a million miles apart from us which makes me feel like this is taking me so long. I'm wondering to myself too that when I can actually reach her.

My needs are granted and I can finally grab her wrist but she pulls away immediately, but she isn't walking anymore and doesn't turn her face to me. She's standing there like an emotionless robot. I pause for a moment; I don't even know what to say. Back then, my thoughts were full of words which were meant to let her hear, but now that I'm seeing her, I can't even put those words into the right order or even make it make sense.

"Your hands are so cold." I try to catch my breath my prolonging the conversation and this is all I can start our talk with.

"So is my heart." She whispers. Tina really is a person who knows how to talk. She knows how to hit right to the person she's talking to. 

"I'm sorry but it's -"

"Yes, you should be." She cuts me off with this awful sentence.

"I don't see the reason you have here for your heart to be so cold toward me." I complain, try to make it sound like teasing but it just doesn't.

"Then you shouldn't react anything when I get involved with girls. Especially, Mean." She turns her face to me. Surprisingly, her face is so smooth and calm. I doubt she's jealous.

"Are you jealous?" I try to sound like teasing but it doesn't come in the way that I want. It sounds almost like something else like serious.

"Yes, I am. And I'm not gonna keep that like you, Aom. And I can't take it when you're with some other guy like that. It wrecks me!" She shouts to me, admitting everything and speaks everything so clearly.

There's another long pause between us and she's not gonna continue our conversation if I don't say anything at all.

"I-" 

"You want me to prove you and I am trying. Then what about you? Are you even trying for me? Look at what you have done! I haven't seen you in 2 days-"

"Don't you dare talking to me about that!" I shout back to her and she listens. "Can you see how miserable I am when you've been away like that?"

"You are? I thought you would never care for me even if I was in grave." 

"Don't you see how I feel toward you? Don't you see that I try to make it obvious so that you can at least keep it going between us? You know what? I'm also tired with this!"

"So that's the reason why you're hugging and kissing the other guy like that? You take me out as an excuse so that you can get involved with him like that! You should have told me before I let myself falls deeper for you, Aom!" This is it! This is not my Tina! This person is so unreasonable until I don't know how long I can bear with her.  

"Oh Tina, can you talk resonably enough with me! I was totally a mess when you weren't here. I tried calling you but I couldn't reach you! You didn't go to school and I kept waiting for you every morning but you didn't appear. Nobody in your home even called to tell me where you've-"

Then! She cups my face and cuts me off with a kissing! Her eyes are closed. Her lips on mine, as soft as a feather. I try to move but it doesn't really help when my whole body aching for her to touch my face like that. A few moment later, her lips part my mouth and she can actually bite my lip. And yes, she does it gently and her lips can actually move. I wrap my arms to her waist and she pulls me closer and then, I start moving my mouth.

She combines us both by a hug with a whisper. "I miss you." then she jerks away.

"I thought you - " 

She shakes her head as she's smiling. "There's no other place I'd rather be when you're not with me." 

"But you sounded so mad at the moment and-" I look confused then she cuts me off again.

"I was. I have never been this mad at anybody in this whole world but you. I could have killed Van at the moment for what he's done." she grins crookedly.

"You don't wanna kill him." I grin back and she chuckles.

"I do, but I can't. Killing him would mean of hurting you and I would never do that." she pauses for a moment then continues. "I couldn't really tell if you really missed me or not, Aom. I'm sorry if my kiss hurt your feelings and-"

"Don't be." I smile and she widens her eyes. "It was my first kiss, actually. I'm kinda glad it was you who I had it with." I smile again and this time she smiles softly.

"You kissed me back." she grins.

"I thought you wouldn't notice that." I roll my eyes.

"It was also my frist kiss. Why wouldn't I notice you, Aom? Actually, I could only tell you miss me that terribly by your kiss." she sighs and walks away.

I know Van is standing right there behind me and I really can't leave him alone like that.

"Tina, would you, I mean, let me have a few minutes to talk to Van? I can't let him alone like that." The name of Van hurts her but she also has to tolerate me with that. She can't keep me all to herself when she knows I'm about to go.

"It's fine. I'll be waiting for you by the other side of the lake then." She smiles then she kisses my forehead and leaves.

I watch the sight of her back as she's walking away from me. It warms me when I realize that she's my Tina now, reasonable and gentle and such. I can't help but thinking that this would be the best gift that god has given me. 

I take a deep breath and walk back to where Van is standing. To my notice, he didn't even move when I was away from him to chase after Tina. His eyes never leave me when I'm aproaching him.

"You shouldn't come back to me when she's with you." he's the first one to start our conversation as he knows exactly what I'm aiming to talk to him about.

"I should and I'm sorry if it hurts you." I sigh.

"'You' hurt me, Aom." 

"I'm sorry." 

He's looking to the ground, avoiding my eyes.

"Remember when you graduated from high school, and I went to your after-party with your family?" he's suddenly bringing up this topic which he has never spoken of.

 

When I graduated from high school, it was as if the whole world was celebrating for me. My family, Tina's parents and their important employees from the company came to the after-party for my graduation. My parents didn't celebrate anything huge but just a little dinner at a chinese restaurant but it was warm. Tina's parents were so nice to me and I had no idea that Tina was their daughter since they didn't really talk about the family thing when we met. I remember many people trying to offer me the scholarships into many different universities but I just awkwardly refused to them since I had no interest in giving myself into those schools. I only told them that I loved Rangsit and I believe it was then that Tina's dad heard about me, but he didn't say a word until 2 days before the university started and he just came over directly to me and handed me all the things I needed for the university. It was everything to me. And 2 days later, everything had changed.

By the party, Van wasn't invited by me but my parents. I didn't really know that he would come over to the party since my parents told me that he was unavailable. He is actually 2 years younger than me so I assumed that he had classes to attend instead of my graduation, which is something I could forgive him about.

It was until midnight, the first time I saw him wearing a suit and tie, holding a bunch of roses in a combination with lily. Everybody was out to their cars and i didn't even know my parents had left me alone to Van; it was later that they told me they had planned it.

He was standing by the front door when the light of the restuarant went black and I thought it was too late for the restaurant to turn on its light, but I was wrong.

He burned our a candle and handed to me. I was so surprised when I took it and all I saw was him. He gave me the flower and it was incredibly heavy when I hold it.

"Van, is that really you?" I try to assure him but then he smiled.

"Who else?" he chuckled.

"But they said-"

"They lied. I was here the whole time." The light hadn't been yet and it really meant that he had planned it.

"Why didn't you get in?" I asked stupidly then later I realized that he wanted to surprise me.

"I wanted you to see me by chance not by plan" He smiled again.

"Why did you have to do that?" 

"Because you're special to me." he sighed and I bet it was really hard for him to say those words to me.

"And how many are the roses?" I change the subject but then he draws it back.

"they're 99" he shurgged as he walked me to the motobike where he had parked. He was only 17 back then and he wasn't allowed to drive a car yet.

"Why so many?" I had no clue what the 99 roses mean but he just smiled at me as he was handing me the helmet.

"Just keep them. Somday you'll know." 

 

"I don't know what you're talking about." I try to reject the idea of him bringing this topic up again even though I remember everything.

"You do remember it but you just won't admit it. You wanted to know what the 99-roses mean, right? To me for you, it means you're very very special to me and I love you. Dont' you have any idea at all when a guy gives that many flowers or you just pretended? I waited and waited and waited, hoped that someday you would realize what it meant to you then you would come to me and say all those miraculous words but you just didn't. And here you are, standing here with me but your heart belongs to someone else." He's so frustrated and I know that. 

"Van, I'm really sorry and I know I should make something up for you but I just don't know how."

"Then give me your heart would solve everything."

"You know I couldn't." 

"Then don't just try to get close to me again, Aom. You know it's selfish that you only want me when I'm needed. Think of how I would feel or just put yourself into my shoes. I'm tired of this and I gotta go." he shakes his head and leaves me standing there under the tree like a retard.